Preschooler talking about death

My son is 4. No one he knew well has died, no animals have died. His great aunt passed away but that was about a year ago. My FIL and my sister passed away before DS was born. He knows FIL passed away. My sister, "is in a town far away called Heaven and you can't even get there by airplane".

DS says, what I think is a lot, maybe 1-2 times a wee, usually before bed, "Don't you wish there was no thing as dead/dying".

I'm not sure what to make of it? I don't know how to respond to him.

Now, he is a 4 year old boy who likes Iron Man/fighing and takes his "shooter guns and kills the bad guys". But he's not talking about bad guys, he's talking about family.

Thanks for reading and hopefully let me know he's normal....or not so I can get him to talk to someone.

Re: Preschooler talking about death

My 4 yr old suddenly talks about dying a lot as well. I think they are trying to understand the concept. He says death and dying a lot, and dead when playing with his toys. I try to redirect him and dont explain TOO much yet, a little bit, just enough that I think he deserves truth but doesnt need to be focusing on it.

I think it might be age appropriate. looking to see what others say.

Re: Preschooler talking about death

Message edited 2/3/2012 10:39:16 AM.

Re: Preschooler talking about death

DS will be 5 in April. Maybe about 6 months ago, he started talking about it a lot. My grandfather passed away when he was 3. He remembers going to the wake and that GG Tom went to God.

It all started when we were watching Batman Begins and Batmans parents get shot at the beginning. He got his saddened look on his face as he realized that Batman's mommy and daddy were dead. Then the questions started. When are we going to God. Who is going to go to God first, me or him? Who will take care of him and help him when I go to God. I too have a pre-schooler obessed with super heroes, fighting, shooting, bad guys, etc. He started to realize that when you die, you don't get right back up and keep fighting... I told him we don't know when we are going to go to God but we hope that it's not for a long, long time when we are very old. He had a hard time understanding that hopefully, God willing, I won't die until I'm very old, which means he will be very old. He kept thinking he would still be a little kid and would need "taking care of". Then of course my fears come into play... what if I do die young and leave him as a little boy... I can't even think about this... Then for a good 3 months after this, every day, he would say, I wish I could have you forever but I can't because you are going to go to God (or... because I am going to go to God). He didn't say it in an especially sad way... more matter of factly. When his baby brother was born in August, he started to say, I love you soooo much and I don't want you to go to God until you're very very old. Then he'd ask who was going to go to God first, him or his brother... After a few months of talking about it every day... it slowed down a bit. Now he talks about it every once in a while. My grandmother was in the hospital and he asked if she was going to go to God soon. I explained that she was very old and sick and that it may be her time to go to God soon. I tell him that our love is very special and we will all always love each other even when we go to God.

I think it's normal around this age to start to question and start to understand more about death.

Good luck!