Cruel things people say

A family member posted on FB this morning that she was getting coffee at a local 7-11 and the guy literally came out from behind the counter to her and made awful comments about her weight.

Being a social worker, I know that some people have issues and can't control what comes out of their mouth, but others IMO, have no excuse.

What is the cruelest thing a stranger has ever said to you or others?

How did you respond?

(LIF doesn't count ).

Re: Cruel things people say

Ugh - I feel for her. I guess that I've have a lot of incidents over the years...I just deleted a few but I think this one bothered me the worst. Thankfully it's from 10+ years ago.

While sitting on a ledge taking a smoke break at the grocery store that I was working at an old man came up to me & started screaming what an awful terrible person I was to smoke whilst pregnant & how I was going to both be a really bad mom & that I was going to hell. I wasn't pg at the time...I was just heavy. I was SO stunned that I just sat there speechless & started crying...he was cruel.

Message edited 1/31/2012 8:16:48 AM.

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I was about ten at the time and in a rest stop bathroom with a mother and daughter. The mother pointed at me and said "LOOK! IT IS A BOY IN THE GIRL'S BATHROOM!" and they both started hysterically laughing and pointing at me and telling me to leave!

I was on a long road trip, wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. I had my hair (which was down to my butt) in a pony tail. . . I have no idea why they did it but I will never forget how I felt that day!

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A guy once pulled up next to my friend at a stop light and got her to roll her window down so that he could say "I have a bag of sh*t in my trunk that is uglier than you."

We laugh about it now because it was such a random comment, but at the time she didn't think it was very nice.

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Not to me, but to to my neice. We were at a party and my neice was playing Mario Cart against some boys and she was winning. One of the boy's mothers said, in front of my neice, "What's wrong with you? You are letting a girl beat you. You can do better than that." My neice was so hurt and said later on "She's a mommy. Why would she say something so mean and make me feel bad."

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I showed my license to get beer once and the guy said "wow you've gained a lot of weight"

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Only a few years ago I was in the supermarket and I picked up a bag of biscuits. One guy across the way said something like, "Hey there! Do you know what you're having?" I look confused and he gestured to his belly, holding it like he's pregnant. I wasn't pregnant, and I wasn't even very overweight. I just hold my weight in my belly. It made me feel terrible. Even if he was trying to be nice, the fact that he thought I was pregnant when I clearly wasn't made me feel awful.

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A few years ago my uncle told my husband in front of me and a few other family that DH should leave me for a little while so that I can get depressed and lose a bunch of weight. Then when I am skinny he can come back.

One time during the summer my sister was sitting on a those beach chairs that are long and fold in 3 places ( i forget the name) and she was sitting in the middle so I went to sit on the end and my Uncle (same one ) said "hold on you are going to go flying over that seat once she sits."

I was so embarrassed.
My DH wanted to kill him.
It's something I am used to with my side of the family. They are always rude like that. I have another uncle that calls me Tubby and pinches my "love handles".

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Re: Cruel things people say

Posted by BellaRock

A few years ago my uncle told my husband in front of me and a few other family that DH should leave me for a little while so that I can get depressed and lose a bunch of weight. Then when I am skinny he can come back.

One time during the summer my sister was sitting on a those beach chairs that are long and fold in 3 places ( i forget the name) and she was sitting in the middle so I went to sit on the end and my Uncle (same one ) said "hold on you are going to go flying over that seat once she sits."

I was so embarrassed.
My DH wanted to kill him.
It's something I am used to with my side of the family. They are always rude like that. I have another uncle that calls me Tubby and pinches my "love handles".

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Nothing a stranger has ever said to me has really stuck in my memory.. I do remember someone thinking I was a boy when I was about 10 or 11, but I wasn't hurt, I was MAD and I stared the guy down until he realized his mistake. Tilde, that woman was a JERK.

Only people who know me have the ability to hurt my feelings.

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Posted by BellaRock

A few years ago my uncle told my husband in front of me and a few other family that DH should leave me for a little while so that I can get depressed and lose a bunch of weight. Then when I am skinny he can come back.

One time during the summer my sister was sitting on a those beach chairs that are long and fold in 3 places ( i forget the name) and she was sitting in the middle so I went to sit on the end and my Uncle (same one ) said "hold on you are going to go flying over that seat once she sits."

I was so embarrassed.
My DH wanted to kill him.
It's something I am used to with my side of the family. They are always rude like that. I have another uncle that calls me Tubby and pinches my "love handles".

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From NON-relatives:

OMG look !!! Its so freaky.. It looks like an alien
(Said while pointing at me)

*SCREAM* *HIDE* and/or *RUN*
(while pointing at me)

I don’t want to sit next to that, it’s freaky and scares me
(while at school)

Stop looking at me you freak!
(just in general)

OMG you look JUST like my friend’s dog.
- when I was younger this usually ended up with me being called dog face for awhile
- when I was older it was generally followed up with an explanation and apology (Alaskan Husky)


Not looks related:

But the cruelest thing I think had to be the church. I asked why my friend had to die (she died of cancer) and why god would punish her and her parents. I was told essentially not to question the work of God. I didn’t buy it. I kept asking (I was really young). They put me on the church steps and called me Devil’s Spawn. They said they hoped that by the time church was over that S@tan would come back and collect me for his own. They left me there through services. I sat and cried. Every now and then some kid could come out poke me with a stick, laugh and run back to Sunday School. Worst day ever.

ETA: how do I respond?
What can I say when I was a kid.. I just became a recluse. When I got a little older it became a badge of honor LOL. My comments were usually “really that’s the best you got?” Now I wear contacts which don’t hide my eyes at all. People ask why I don’t just pick a color because why not? I say I earned the right to these eyes. I’ve paid the price, now its time to enjoy them. And I do.

Church I had no response. However, it could be why I’m not much of church goer these days, huh?

Message edited 1/31/2012 10:58:40 AM.

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When I was a kid, my next door neighbor (who was a lot older and bigger than me) was telling everyone "Jennifer's a boy..she has a d*ck". At one point he held me down and let another kid spit on me. I'm really not sure why or how that happened.

I got teased a lot for my weight, but I mostly made up for it by being funny, so I can't say I took a lot of it with me. I was always pretty quick with a retort. I did have kids saying I was pregnant in like 1st grade.

My MIL comments on my weight a lot, which is annoying. Up or down, she comments. She used to say "oh well you're well proportioned". When I visited DH's grandparents they also commented on my weight and DH's. They all had/have their own issues, so I really feel like it's THEIR problem that they are so obssessed with weight.

I've been hurt a few times by doctors. I have major back issues which caused me to gain a lot of weight. Before that I did dance/yoga, etc.

I went to a surgeon once who was doing range of motion tests on me and asked me to touch my toes. I went only so far bc I was limited and he said "Could you ever touch your toes?" I was so fuming. I had just told him I had been a dancer for years.

My physical therapist, who knew what I have been through and how hard it is for em to exercise, kept telling me to stop eating twinkies. I haven't had a twinkie in 20 years. I had already spoken with my doctor and he really felt diet wasn't the issue,a s in what I eat doesn't account for what I weigh.

The most embarassing for me was I was in Lord and Taylor looking to buy a coat. I was maybe a size 16/18 at the time I guess, and sometimes the regular department goes up to 16 or 18. So I saw a coat I liked in a 14, and I was trying it on figuring that I could tell by that whether I needed to ask for a 16 or an 18. Well, I put the coat on (which fit on me BTW, it just didn't button, so it wasn't like I was going to ruin it), and this saleslady YELLS from ACROSS the section, like 30 feet away "TOO SMALL!! It's too small!!!!" And she kept yelling as she approached me. She was kind of treating me like a kid (I was younger, but I also look young for my age sometimes), and her tone was that she was SCOLDING me. Thinking about it now, I feel bad. I can't believe she treated me like that. I was on the phone at the time with my mom who was upstairs in the store so I didn't even know how to respond. I just gave her the coat back. I should have reported her to Corporate or at least a manager. It was a REALLY rude way to treat a customer. I'm sure I'm not the first or last person to try something on that's too small either to get an idea for size, or bc of denial.

And I've tried on things before that were 1 or 2 sizes smaller than i thought I was, and they have FIT. so eff you, lady

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Posted by BellaRock

A few years ago my uncle told my husband in front of me and a few other family that DH should leave me for a little while so that I can get depressed and lose a bunch of weight. Then when I am skinny he can come back.

One time during the summer my sister was sitting on a those beach chairs that are long and fold in 3 places ( i forget the name) and she was sitting in the middle so I went to sit on the end and my Uncle (same one ) said "hold on you are going to go flying over that seat once she sits."

I was so embarrassed.
My DH wanted to kill him.
It's something I am used to with my side of the family. They are always rude like that. I have another uncle that calls me Tubby and pinches my "love handles".

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I was a fat pre-teen.

Got called one particular animal name throughout two years of junior high. By 8th grade, I had dropped a little weight and really delved into music and for the most part, stopped caring about what people said.

My response was usually "I might be fat, but I can lose the weight...you'll need a lot of plastic surgery to stop being ugly"

But even now, if someone mentions that particular animal, I have flashbacks of 6th and 7th grade.

I looked up a couple of those taunters on FB not long ago, and they're all fat now. Had to chuckle at that.

Message edited 1/31/2012 11:40:27 AM.

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I was overweight in elementary school and some kid decided my nickname should be horse.

Nice. Still remember that til this day.

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I got made fun of a lot in middle school.

I was very thin and tall, and HATED wearing jeans, so I wore leggings every day. I had every single color (which would have been great for now!). Some kid called me the "Spandex Queen". Now that leggings are back in style, I laugh to myself about his comment.

I have a big-ish forehead, and have always known it and been slightly sensitive about it. One day, in 7th grade at lunch, these 2 girls sat RIGHT ACROSS from me, and said to each other, "Do you think it was always that big?" "No, it probably grew." So sweet.

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I have issues with infertility.

Recently a family member while holding a baby turns to me and says “jealous”. .

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