DH and Nighttime Feedings

For moms who are either SAHM or home with a newborn on maternity leave, who have a DH who works full time.. does your DH do any of the night time feeds, or does he expect you to do them since you are home?

By night time feeds I mean, anywhere from 10pm to 7 am.

My newborn is not on an exact schedule but generally gets up at least 3 times between 10pm and 7 am and although my husband agreed to do one of the feeds, he gets PO at me now when she doesnt go back to sleep right after a feeding and fusses, bc "someone has to work!"

Just wondering how you all handle who does the overnight feedings. Am I wrong to expect him to do a feeding overnight so that I can get a stretch of sleep myself? Or do I suck it up and do all of the feedings since I theoretically would have an opportunity to nap during the day?

Re: DH and Nighttime Feedings

DH would do the 11pm and 6am feedings and I got the middle of the night (2 or 3am) one.

This way both of us got at least one pretty good stretch of sleep. Luckily for us DS started sleeping through the night pretty early...

Re: DH and Nighttime Feedings

When DD was waking up more frequently, my Dh would do the feedings from the time we went to bed to 3am. Then I would take over after 3am. Now that she only gets up once a night, we take turns and I get up every other night.

Re: DH and Nighttime Feedings

In the beginning he did. I really needed the sleep at that point (I still need the sleep hahaha)

Now he rarely does. It's just easier for me to pick her up and nurse her and put her right back down. With him, he has to heat up the bottle, and then she's crying for awhile. Just makes sense for me to nurse her. I usually sleep while nursing.

Re: DH and Nighttime Feedings

I am a SAHM and DH did the majority of the night time feedings! He handles sleep deprivation much much better than I. Yes he had to function the next day for work, but SO DID I. Maybe if I had one it would be different...but with two very needy preemies that barely napped. I NEEDED to sleep. I felt he had an escape going to work, he was the lucky one !

I agree with pp, during hte newborn stage, its good to break up the night, so everyone gets a good chunk of sleep. I did 11pm, he did 3am.

Re: DH and Nighttime Feedings

I BF my first, so he didn't get up to help with her at night very much. With my second, she was on formula from about 8 weeks due to an allergy so he started helping out at night then. He would do the feedings from about 8pm-12am, and then I would do the rest of the night. Once I went back to work, she was really only waking up once or twice at night so we would alternate the feedings. She didn't sleep through the night until she was 11 months old so it would have gotten really old if he hadn't helped!

Re: DH and Nighttime Feedings

I am on maternity leave. My twins are 7 weeks old. DH and I do the 11pm feeding together and after that I'm on my own. It's hard, but I know he needs to function at work and I figure one of us might as well get a decent night's sleep.

I go back to work in 5 weeks so DH knows we are going to have figure something out. Hopefully they'll be sleeping longer through the night at that point.

Re: DH and Nighttime Feedings

When i was on leave i did all the nighttime feedings except on his days off. When i went back to work dh would do the 10pm feeding, id do 1am, he'd do 4am and id do 7am so he could get ready for work. It worked for us.

Re: DH and Nighttime Feedings

On the weekends he does, during the week he does not, I don't ask him to though bc I feel since i am home all day and he is commuting and working its not fair to him. DS is basically sleeping through the night at this point ( well he was then the last couple days he regressed but I digress lol) but on the weekends he will get up early with him to let me sleep in, I try to let him sleep in one weekend day also bc he needs the rest too.

Re: DH and Nighttime Feedings

We always took turns. Just worked out best for both of us.

Re: DH and Nighttime Feedings

with DS he did the 8pm & 12am feeding, i did the 4am.

with DD we took turns because she ate so much and so frequent.. with DS he was a every 4 hour newborn.

Re: DH and Nighttime Feedings

When our kids were newborns, DH would do the last feeding before bed, I would do the middle of the night (2am) and he would do the early morning. He had trouble waking up and staying up in the middle of the night and I like to sleep late in the morning. We did this while I was on maternity leave and once I went back.

Re: DH and Nighttime Feedings

I ebf and in the very beginning I would pump everyday and DH would give DD a bottle during one of her night feeds even though he was working and I was home. You both need to be well rested, being home with a newborn is exhausting! DD started sleeping 5 hour stretches around 3 weeks, so that was huge and we just switched on and off after that, no set schedule, but DH did a lot!

Hopefully your DC will start sleeping for longer stretches soon and your DH will figure out that you both have to pitch in with the night feeds.

Re: DH and Nighttime Feedings

At the very beginning we just took turns. Now that Ds only eats once at like midnight and again around 4/5 i do the night and DH does the early morning then just gets ready for work. He owns his company so he can be later some mornings if the feeding goes longer or there's a gas/poop issue. He tries to give me the baby back asleep in the rnp next to our bed.

Re: DH and Nighttime Feedings

When I was home I did all the overnight care except maybe a few weekend nights when he gave me a break. Once I went back to work it was 50/50.

Re: DH and Nighttime Feedings

When I was on leave I didnt ask my DH to get up during the week or on weekends because he has a demanding job so I thought he deserved sleep since I was home. Now I work PT and we are lucky because we dont have nighttime feedings anymore!

Re: DH and Nighttime Feedings

Nope. I EBF so he couldn't. But on a night he wasn't working, he'd take her after a feeding and let me go back to sleep.

Re: DH and Nighttime Feedings

Posted by maybemommy10

I am a SAHM and DH did the majority of the night time feedings! He handles sleep deprivation much much better than I. Yes he had to function the next day for work, but SO DID I. Maybe if I had one it would be different...but with two very needy preemies that barely napped. I NEEDED to sleep. I felt he had an escape going to work, he was the lucky one !

I agree with pp, during hte newborn stage, its good to break up the night, so everyone gets a good chunk of sleep. I did 11pm, he did 3am.

Message edited 1/12/2012 9:11:12 AM.