Re: How Do You Feel About Bringing a Child To a Funeral Service?

Re: How Do You Feel About Bringing a Child To a Funeral Service?

My kids are 4 and 21 months and we didn't take them to my dh's grandfathers funeral/wake this past October. I didn't want them to be there, period. I didn't ask anyones opinion, but my dh was in agreement with me.

Re: How Do You Feel About Bringing a Child To a Funeral Service?

Like PP said, it depends on the age but speaking as an adult who was dragged to funerals it's traumatizing. If they don't know who it is, and you aren't prepared to explain what death is it can be really scary to see this person "sleeping" which is what I was told, and then they closed the lid

Re: How Do You Feel About Bringing a Child To a Funeral Service?

Personally, I think children shouldn't be kept in the dark about death. Wakes & funerals are all part of it.

But as PP's have said, it all depends on the child. You know what your kid can handle and what he can't. So only YOU know whats best in that situation.

I went to wakes and funerals from very young. Never had any issues.

When my father died I was 12. His wake was the one that stuck with me forever. Since then, when someones parent dies, especially their father - I find it hard to go up to the casket to say a prayer.

Message edited 1/7/2012 4:07:16 PM.

Re: How Do You Feel About Bringing a Child To a Funeral Service?

as someone who was REALLY scarred when my mom brought me to open casket wakes I would say No, not to a wake......

To a funeral. Depends on who it is.

Re: How Do You Feel About Bringing a Child To a Funeral Service?

Totally depends on who it is for and the child's age but for a colleague I can say absolutely not.

Re: How Do You Feel About Bringing a Child To a Funeral Service?

I think there is no cookie cutter response in regard to age or how a family should teach their child about death. Every child is different and has a different emotional capabilities at different ages. Every parent has to assess what their children are capable of understanding. And what a parent decides should be respected.

Re: How Do You Feel About Bringing a Child To a Funeral Service?

visitation and you have no one else to watch DC i would bring them. the funeral service i would not if the child was not close with the person who passed or their families.

DD has been to 2 funerals in her 4 years of life. her daddy and her Granny (my grandma)

any other funeral i have gone to she has been watched by my parents. she did go to one visitation of a close friends grandma.

we are a bit of an odd ball family though, my dad works at a funeral home and we go up there to visit daily. so she is growing up like me, the funeral home is nothing unusual and death is spoken about.

Re: How Do You Feel About Bringing a Child To a Funeral Service?

My DD, 3, is extremely well behaved and I had to attend funeral services with her a few months ago because it was during the week and I had nobody to watch her. She was excellent, did not make a single peep!! You do what you have to do IMO.

Edit.......DD came with me to the church service, not a wake.

Message edited 1/7/2012 11:50:12 PM.

Re: How Do You Feel About Bringing a Child To a Funeral Service?

In your situation, I would not bring a child unless I absolutely had to and someone could watch him outside the viewing room.

I just don't think it's the place for small children. I know adults who can't handle a wake well...nevermind putting a child through something they don't understand and, let's face it, is a little creepy.

Re: How Do You Feel About Bringing a Child To a Funeral Service?

When my Dad died we brought my daughter and my nieces came as well to both the wake and funeral services. We felt like it is time to properly say goodbye to their Pop, and we wanted them to have that chance. We were concerned that if we didn't do it, they wouldn't realize that it is really forever that he will be gone, and they'd ask for him months down the road.

They were all three 6 years old so I feel like they were at an age where they could handle it.

For a younger child or more distant relative, or a friend, I don't know if I would have done it.

Re: How Do You Feel About Bringing a Child To a Funeral Service?

Personally, I would'nt. Not till their older and only if it's someone close.