Career Woman to SAHM

If you were a career woman then decided to become a SAHM, how did you make your final decision?

I thought I would always be a career woman, money was super important. DD is now 3 months, and I am only supposed to have 3 more months home with her and am struggling with the decision to be a SAHM everyday.

I love the money I bring into the home, but I also want to be apart of everything she goes through every day. I just don't know how to make a final decision.

I know in my heart SAHM is where I want to be, but in my head the extra money could be put towards so many things.

So how did you make your decision?

Re: Career Woman to SAHM

I thought it was best for the children if I stayed home - that's how I made my decision.

Good luck!

Re: Career Woman to SAHM

I became a SAHM 2 years ago right before I turned 37. My DS was 14 months old when I stopped working.

For us, we decided to try it since my DH's new job moved us OOS, and with the lower cost of living, we would be able to have me stay home and still afford to do the things we wanted to do.

I was nervous about the huge change in my lifestyle, not working for the first time after doing so for 14 years. I always assumed I would work FT until I became a Mom, and then had the desire to stay home.

Every situation is different, so there is no right answer. Many women prefer working and it is best for them.. I personally know I made the right decision because in the past two years (and another DS) I have not missed working one bit.

GL with your choice!!

Re: Career Woman to SAHM

I always knew I wanted to be a SAHM but we actually couldn't afford for me to leave, so I went back to work. DH got a job transfer at the perfect time - my job became an actual hell-hole to work in - and I knew that the money I was bringing in would never equal the time I could spend with my kids. It's been 4 weeks and I'm very happy.

Re: Career Woman to SAHM

I was a teacher and we moved oos. In 2008 we moved to Utah where they were desperately looking for teachers for dh job and actually got 4 job offers over the phone. It was great. We lived there for 2 yrs and when we got transferred back to CT for his job there were no jobs to be found. I didn't even get a phone call or interview in 2010. But I had also just had dd in may 2010 and we moved back in July 2010. So I wound up staying home with her since then. Well we have since moved again to Boston and still no jobs but I really didn't look all that hard either. Frotuately for us dh can carry us with not much strain. Teaching jobs are basically nonexistent right now.

Re: Career Woman to SAHM

It was the only decision I could live with - it was that simple. I never planned on being a SAHM - I was making $$$,$$$, went to school for #$(I$)$ years and had a clear career path set up for myself. I just realized after my first was born that I could live with myself and be happy with a fulfilled life even if I never achieved what I planned to career wise - I could not live with myself if I had to leave my children with strangers and miss out on this amazing time in their lives (and mine) that is gone in just a few years and I could never get back. I figure, I have the rest of my life to work if I change my mind but, if I look back and regretted missing out on my kids first few years of life I could never get that back. But, this is a VERY personal decision that no one can answer but you! HTH!

Re: Career Woman to SAHM

Can you work P/T? I've always thought that seems like a good balance.

Re: Career Woman to SAHM

For me I am lucky bc my job will be there waiting for me until my son enters kindergarden (if I decide to stay out that long taking it year by year). I work for the nyc doe...this made m decision easier bc I know if need be (financially or otherwise) I can always just go right back to work..I realize how lucky I am to have this security.

Re: Career Woman to SAHM

Re: Career Woman to SAHM

Message edited 10/19/2011 8:56:39 PM.

Re: Career Woman to SAHM

Hardest decision I had to make and miss my career life still 4 yrs later but can't imagine going back to full time working world and missing what I do now. Luckily - money was do ok so it wasn't an issue. For me it was all personal to me...missing what I had worked so long to achieve and teh prestige, power, using my brain in a much different way, etc. After child care issues, my decision came down to having a live in nanny vs me staying home. When i went back to work both home and work - neither were getting nearly 75% of my potential. I just couldn't do a live in (both DH and i work/worked in teh city and long hours so live in would be best option) so thus I am home.

Re: Career Woman to SAHM

I have no choice this year....since I left my NYC teaching job I've been looking for a tenure position. When we decided to start our family, we knew it could end with me being a SAHM for a little while. It's been 8 weeks....and there is no place I feel I should be! But it is a little scary $$$-wise!

Re: Career Woman to SAHM

When I had DS #1, I wanted to stay home but I was the breadwinner. DH was still in residency and could not afford to support us financially. I had a very demanding job and I was miserable.

The plan was for me to be a SAHM after DS#2 was born. I lasted 6 months. Being a SAHM was not for me. DH and I were mentally and financially prepared for me to stay home.

I now work about 30 hours a week. I didn't think I could find a PT job in my field but I was able to. It's the best of both worlds. I get to keep my foot in the door while having time with the kids. All time spent with them is quality time.

Re: Career Woman to SAHM

I thought it would be a hard decision. I am the last person anyone would ever think to be a SAHM Till the boys popped out, then it was the ONLY decision.

If I do nothing else right in my entire life, if I am a good mother to them, I will be happy.

Re: Career Woman to SAHM

For me, i knew that being a SAHM was a one time deal you get in life. If a person has the ability to stay home I feel they should give it a try.

It isn't for everyone, but most SAHM's I know wouldn't trade the time home with their kids for anything.

To ME a career can be picked up later, money can always be made later...but for now, while my babies are little, this time is so special. I wanted to be the one to see everything and be there for it all, I didn't want anyone else doing it.

We don't have a lot of "extras" but we make time for date nights, one small vacation a year (OBX for a week or disney). We have one car. We rented an apartment for a few years before we bought our home etc...

It's not for everyone. Some women have zero desire to be home and that works for them. If its something you want and can do it, go for it! They are only little once!

Re: Career Woman to SAHM

I really loved being a working mother, it suited me really well. But after I had my second child, we sat down and did the math. Childcare for one full time, and for another before and after school, not to mention school holidays took a huge chunk out of my salary. Also, our lifestyle was not fun, always rushing around, picking one kid up, not spending anytime with them. Anyway, we decided it was best for me to stay home, and I am loving it.

Re: Career Woman to SAHM

When my son was first born i worked full time and my grandmother watched him the days my DH wasnt home...but since then she has sadly passed and the price of childcare is absolutely crazy so i left my job which i hated anyway and work part time, im home alot more with DS which he seems very happy about and the one day i need a sitter is only for 3 hours and he goes with my friend and her daughter

Re: Career Woman to SAHM

if you can afford to be a SAHM do it. i am one right now, but i wasnt planning on it. i got fired from my very good job when i extended my disability past 11w post partum (no FMLA for me, company less than 50 employees).

anyway i did want to be a SAHM so badly - i didnt want it to be because i got fired. we also did not plan for it financially or insurance-wise. i dont know how long it will last either as i have a very promising feeler out with an old company.. but i also want to go back to school. i say enjoy it while you can!! (and btw 6m of maternity leave is insanely awesome.. i was supposed to have 6w but i had a c-section so they had to give me 8w..my baby was in the NICU for half of that...).

Re: Career Woman to SAHM

I have my masters, had a good career in finance, but when I was given the opportunity to be home full time and my husband was 100% for it too, I knew I had to take this opportunity because this is what I had always dreamed of when I pictured myself becoming a mom. I've been a full time SAHM for 3 years now. How I look at it is, the few years you get to be home with them you can never ever get back and to be able to raise your babies is such a gift, my career will always be there when I want to return to it. I feel so lucky to be home to see every little thing, there's nothing like it!

Message edited 10/21/2011 12:53:38 AM.

Re: Career Woman to SAHM

I was working at a great job and working on PhD when I got pregnant, it was pretty stunned. I didn't think it would happen so fast.

I always knew, like since I was 12 maybe, that if I ever became a mom, I'd be a SAHM. I just never really believed I'd be a mom, or even enjoy it. But DH really wanted kids, so ...

Really lucky I was financially prepared for it, even luckier that if I wasn't DH could handle it. But honestly, I think if we had to downgrade, had to move out of state, had to live on coupons, to make it work, I so would do that!

I learn so much from DS about life and about myself, I cherish our time together so much, its the most fulfilling work I could ever do, for me there is no other choice.

Re: Career Woman to SAHM

I thought it was best for the children if I stayed home - that's how I made my decision.

Good luck! Chat Icon

Re: Career Woman to SAHM

I stayed home for 18 months for #1, since we had just moved back to ny. I really wanted to go back even though I was 4 months pregnant.

I had 6 months off with #2.

Only 3 months with #3... but I love my job so it will be nice to go back to friends and a paycheck.