Feeling pressured to BF

I have always planned on bottle feeding but I'm getting pressure from all angles to BF. The dr. we are most likely going with is very pro-BF, and lectured me on it a little. DH is also pressuring me, mainly because he has severe allergies, and supposedly there's a chance that the baby won't get them if I pass on my immunities to her.

However, I was bottle fed, and had no health problems as a result, so I'm not inclined to buy in to that theory so much, and also feel a little like I could be passing on years of being exposed to toxins and chemicals as well. I also plan on going back to work, at least initially, and I do not want to pump.

I'm debating if I should now at least try for the first month, with a combination of BF and formula, mainly formula, and just the bare minimum of BF for the bare minimum of time to pass on my immunities. I just fear that this will be confusing to DD and I'll end up with a baby who won't eat anything. Plus, my heart's really not in to it, it's not something I feel comfortable doing, but I don't want to hurt her either, or worse, have her be crippled like her father.

I know it's a personal choice, and I should stick to my gut feeling, but it's really hard when it seems like nobody supports mothers who choose to bottle feed nowadays.

Re: Feeling pressured to BF

I do not know that I buy the whole immuities thing myself. I know BF kids/adults w/allergies, who get sick often etc. I

Ultimately you have to be happy & comfortable or your baby won't be.

I do plan on trying to BF. If it happens great. But if it winds up being hard, causing me unneeded stress etc. I am going to formula.

Of course we want what is best for our child and a happy mommy IS one of those things

Re: Feeling pressured to BF

i say do whatever you feel comfortable with...
dont feel pressured because its you have has to be devoted to doing it.

you can always try and see what happens...you may actually like the bonding with your DD.

but i have heard from others who have tried that if you are not into doing it 100% then it makes it harder to stick thru it when it gets tuff...

eta: i was bottle fed and i have NO allergies whatsoever!

Message edited 6/3/2011 6:38:20 PM.

Re: Feeling pressured to BF

If you are not into it, do not let anyone force you to do it. Its your body and you have to do what is best for you and your baby.

Before DS was born, I swore I was going to BF. I bought all the supplies I needed and even did well at the hospital, but towards the end of our hospital stay I just couldnt do it. There was nothing physically wrong with me and DS was taking to BF very well, but something emotinally about it just wasnt for me, its hard to explain. I was also put on meds after DS was born and I didnt feel comfortable BF while on them either so that made my decision right there.

I cried everytime he needed to eat and I had to give him formula because I felt like a failure. I am "supposed" to BF bc its "better" for the baby. I had so many people try to "force" me to reconsider my decision, which would make me cry again. But guess what? Both DH and I were FF and we have no major issues and were never majorly sick in our lives. I compared people who I know who did BF and those who FF and honestly there wasnt much of a difference. One friend of mine BF both her kids for 9 months and both her kids are so so sick alllll the time! They also have bad food allergies too!

Bottom line, dont listen to anyone else but yourself and dont let anyone make you feel guilty for FF. BF is hard work and I am still jealous that I couldnt do it and commend those who can. If you want, try it out and see if its for you. If it isnt, dont feel guilty because if you start feeling stressed and upset when you are BF, your DC will pick up on that stress too.

If you need to talk FM me since I know what a hard decision it is and unfortunately there is not much support out there for FF moms

Re: Feeling pressured to BF

None of my friends or myself were BF and we are all successful, healthy and happy women. I really do not see any correlation between BF and anything else. I also think that after 15 years of partying and doing bad things to my body has caused it to be more of a cesspool than a nice source for anythig really. I feel bad the kid is in there for so long to begin with.

Don't let anyone pressure you into doing something you don't want to do. I feel like BF is the adult version of peer pressure. You have to be happy and comfortable with the decision. The baby will sense if you are uncomfortable and will react to that. Ultimately, it's your body and your decision and you should do what you feel is best for both of you.

Re: Feeling pressured to BF

I plan on BFing the first month & then supplementing with formula & have baby completely on formula by 3 months. I am off from work for 4 months. But this is my decision. In teh end you have to do whats comfortable for you. Who klnows it may not be easy to BF or the baby may not latch on. So you never know.

Re: Feeling pressured to BF

I want to preface that I am NOT Pg yet (hoping! )

But I posed a similar question on parenting, so I feel I can give SOME advice.

I have decided, for MANY reasons that I wont BF. Dont want to do it. Dont want the pain and sore niplles. Dont want to be up 5 times during the night. Dont want everything SOLEY to fall to me. Dont want to be a slave to the baby. WANT my DH to feel a part and able to bond during feeding. Hear the stories of moms who let their kids crawl into bed and "help themseves" during the night.

(with the undertstanding that I respect others choices and what works and whats right for them)

For ME, its the right thing and I wont be pressured. Its NOT FAIR that you are feeling pressure and want to *JUST* because you are feeling pressured.

Do it or dont do it based on what YOU feel. What YOU want, and whats right for YOU. You have to believe that you know whats best, and everyone else can go to heck.

*IF* you make the decision to NOT BF, I say shut the pressuring jerks down nicely. Who the HECK are they to make you do something you dont want to????? Make decioson for YOUR child???

I would poitly say "Thank you, but frankly I dont need your opinion, nor have I asked for it, and Its wrong of you to pressure me."

or "Thank you but I have made my decion and im not discussing it."

But in the end, do whats right for you weather its bottle or BF.

Message edited 6/3/2011 7:07:09 PM.

Re: Feeling pressured to BF

its YOUR body. Happy Mommy = happy baby.

I share your feelings completely - my beautiful DS is perfect and he never had a drop of BM.

Re: Feeling pressured to BF

I had no intentions of bfing,but dh is european and everyone in his family does/did so he encouraged me to try.

I did end up with both kids. #1 has allergies (seasonal) and had quite a few ear infections as a baby/toddler. #2 got formula a few times a week a is an ox. Never gets sick (knock on wood)

Don't buy anything, but you can go into the hospital and try. (#2 had formula at night in the hospital...I was exhausted and no confusion). If you do it 1-2 days - that's really the most nutrient dense bf and baby will benefit even if you stop after that. I didn't buy anything at first...I ended up sending dh out to buy everything when we got home.

Re: Feeling pressured to BF

If you're not going to be happy, don't do it! If you want to try, feel free. It's your body.

As far as allergies, I bf my DS and tried really hard for that very reason. My DH had anaphylaxis twice and we both got shots for5+ years it was so bad. I was a bad asthmatic and had to change careers bc of allergies. Our DS has no allergies, we beat the genetic rule so far. But who knows if it was BFing or not.

DH is now an allergist! Hahaha

Re: Feeling pressured to BF

I just wanted to add that 4 1/2 yrs ago when ds was born, I had a lot of pressure to FF so I feel your pain! No matter what you do you will be criticized so do what's best for you. If there were one right answer, it would be the law

Re: Feeling pressured to BF

Don't do it if you don't want to. BFing can be VERY hard and stressful and if you aren't into it with your whole heart, it will make you feel even worse.

I wanted to BF very badly, but my DD is just not latching. So I have to pump instead, and that alone is a chore. But I have decided it's what is best for my child and I am going on with it thinking this and not wanting to give up.

If you don't want to do it, then you shouldn't do it. No one else has to be the one to sit there for feedings and what not but YOU when you BF. Go with your gut and what you think will make you comfortable.

Re: Feeling pressured to BF

You have to do what is best for you and your family! I am BF DS#2 and its not an easy thing IMO.

But anyway to let you know with DS#1 I did exactly what you said...I used to say DS #1 was FF while I supplemented with BF. I BF for 1 month, but seriously he was 95% FF that whole time.

And at birth he was nearly 10lbs, by 1 year he was 30lbs! He ate everything and anything. At 3.5yo he is the least picky kid I know when it comes to food!!!

Re: Feeling pressured to BF

It is a very personal decision. I think since it is the only time in your life you'd be able to do it, give it a try. You might love it. If not, move on to bottle feeding. But don't let anyone pressure you, happy mommy means happy baby!!

Re: Feeling pressured to BF

Re: Feeling pressured to BF

If you are not into it, it's not going to work. But you could always try and see what happens. They say the first few days is the most important. You have do what works for you and what you feel comfortable with. Good Luck with your decision.

Re: Feeling pressured to BF

I'm going to be honest, if your heart isn't into it, it will be rough sticking with it when it gets tough. I never knew BF would be so difficult and so stressful. It's one of the hardest things I ever had to do, EVER!!!! I am trying to just get through it, but I can tell if my heart wasn't with it, I would have stopped many times over, already! I have to really push myself every single day to keep with it. It's hard. I'm not going to lie.

You need to do what is right for you, end of story!!!! Don't listen to anyone else! Everyone has something to say about something. I was actually being pressured by my mil to BF and then being pressured by my mom to FF. I could never win and just realized I can't listen to others, I had to do what I thought was best for me. This is a very personal decision which you need to do for you and your baby. But dont ever feel bad with your decision. If you choose to FF, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!!! I was never BF and I turned out fine!!!!!!!!!!!!! There really is no right or wrong answer! In the end it's your decision and your decision only!!!!!

Re: Feeling pressured to BF