For those who are over 35

I just want to know how you truly feel about having kids after 35 yr old.

I am having my first and will be 36 when LO is born.

Someone asked me today if I will want one more. Then proceeded to ask how old I am if I don't mind telling them. I knew were that question was going b/c this certain person has mentioned previously that in her opinion if you're over 35 there is a higher risk for downs.
Then she asked me if I had the test.
I told her that I did and it was normal.

I must say though, I do wonder if I will have a second I will most likely be 38 at that time. Giving my body a chance to heal. Is that really too old? I think about the age I will be when my child is 20 and I will then be 56. That kinda scares me a bit.

I guess the older you are, the higher risk you have with DS right?

Obviously there are two main things I am questioning here: age and the risk of DS closer to 40...

Wouldn't soemone have lower chances if their family genetics were very healthy?

Re: For those who are over 35

I got prego at 36 just turned 37. This is our first pregnancy due in Aug with 2 previous miscarriages. Thankfully nothing was abnormal genetically with the babies. Just nature. I would like to have 1 more child if God blesses us. But having all of our testing done it came back that we are 1 in 10000 for downs. So we didnt need an amnio. etc. I was so thankful because i think at any age this is a real possibility. I say you cross that bridge when you get to it. I just pray & thank God he blessed us with a healthy child.

Re: For those who are over 35

I had my first at 34 and am pregnant with my 3rd now.

I'm definitely tired-but I think that has more to do with being pregnant and have 2 young kids to run after as opposed to being over 35.

Your risk of DS does go up as you get older, that is just a fact. I don't know that I would let that dictate whether I have another kid though. If they said my chances were 1 in 2 or 1 in 10, I would think hard about it. Barring that, my desire to "complete" my family would be the biggest factor.

Re: For those who are over 35

Hey bella!! Hope you are doing well :)

I'm not over 35, but rest assured that plenty of women are having babies later, and most of the time, things turn out just fine.

My mother had me at 35 and had my brother at 40. As far as being "older" when your kid(s) are grown, it's no big deal...age really is just all in mind, and as long as you eat well and have a good attitude, you will be able to keep up!

Re: For those who are over 35

My mom had my sister at 38 17 years ago, I used to babysit from someone who had her 3rd at 39, and my step-cousin just gave birth to her 4th at 40...all healthy happy babies!

My cousin's wife just had twins and 1 has downs, and she is UNDER 35...

I really don't think you should let age stop you from doing what you want, and I def wouldn't worry about what others thought! Not that I would have kids in my 40s, but I think 30's is fine!

Re: For those who are over 35

I had Charlie at 35 (I turned 36, 6 months later). I had an relatively easy pregnancy, amazing delivery and she is 100% healthy. I had the minimal tests with her after my level 2 bloodwork came back with great results.

I am pregnant with DD#2 and will turn 39 about 3 months after she's born. I actually didn't go for the level 2 bloodwork with her bc every test leading up to that came back with excellent results.

I think it's natural to worry - I have the same thoughts as you (how old I'll be when Charlie graduates HS, gets married, etc). I wouldn't let any of those worries stop me from having what I wanted though.

Re: For those who are over 35

I am going to turn 39 just after the baby is born, my first. We have talked about it and we definately want a 2nd child and the plan is to try again right away for #2. It takes some people longer in life to find what is right for them. I was 37 when I got married last year. I am glad that I waited until I found the right person to have children with.

The risks do worry us, but we can't live like that. It's all a personal choice and no one can dictate what is right for you.

Message edited 5/26/2011 7:47:10 AM.

Re: For those who are over 35

I am 38 and having my first. I got pg at 37. I had a miscarriage this past summer and then got pg right away, we had all the tests, amnio and everything is fine. I am 32 weeks now, i have had some cervix issues and been really tired, but otherwise ok. We are not having anymore chidlren. I feel like I would be 40 and its too risky for me personally. Everyone is different and some people feel comfortable with it. Its a personal choice.

Re: For those who are over 35

I am 38 now and PG with my first and my sister is PG with her first at 40. Its just the cards were delt in our lives and I wouldn't change a thing. I was not ready for a child earlier in my life.

Re: For those who are over 35

Im 38 now pregnant with my first, and i don't feel 'old'!
I also don't worry about how old i'll be at certain milestones because i've always been a believer that age is just a number and its all about how you act/feel that dictate how you live your life
Being 56 when your child is 20 is not a big deal.. really. 56 is actually quite young!

I don't know if we'll try for a 2nd, for many reasons (my age being one of them), but its more for how my body handles pregnancy than due to any risk to the baby.
We had amnio done at this pregnancy due to elevated risk, and everything came back 100% normal.

I wouldn't worry about being old now.. you're no There are plenty of women 40 and older who have healthy pregnancies these days!

Re: For those who are over 35

I had DS#1 at 34 and knew I wanted another one fairly soon after DS#1. I didn't think it would be this soon, but it happened. I'll be 2 months shy of 36 when DS#2 is born. We think this will be our last DC. Right now DH and I are actually discussing it.

While I would like to try for a girl, I also don't want to be in my 38/39 having a 3rd child and having a newborn again. However if DS#2 had been a girl there would've been no question about this being our last. So the questions we're asking ourselves is do we really feel like our family isn't complete without a 3rd whether it's a boy or a girl or are we really done at 2 since we orginally thought that would be the case if DS#2 was a girl. DH and I don't feel old but having Ds#1 has taken a toll on our energy. We have long commutes for work and financially neither him nor I can stay home.

I must say my mom had me at 39 and she doesn't regret it. She waited a long time for me to come along after having my brother and didn't think she'd be able to have another child. My SIL thought she'd never had a child and had her 1st and only at age 40.

Do I think you can have more than one child in your later 30's yes. But I also think it's a personal choice and you have to see what you can handle.

ETA...as for pregnancy risks...i didn't do an amnio with DS#1 or with this pregnancy but I did do the NT Scan and AFP. All results came out stellar with low risk, which is why I opted not to do an amnio. Risk factors are a consideration in your later 30's but there are risk factor at any age. as long as you do the testing and feel comfortable I don't see it being an issue.

Message edited 5/26/2011 10:48:56 AM.

Re: For those who are over 35

My sister had both her kids at 36+ no amnios...everyone fine


I am on both ends - 2 from early 30's, now one at 37. I did freak out about age with this one. I decided for the CVS (and that lead to the amnio - everything is fine). when I told the high risk, I was there b/c of age...he said "so a bunch of men sat around and decided on a number for women to be 'advance maternal age' If they had to put an age for males it would be 99."


I remember someone from LIW said (after having a second child at 42) it was the best thing they did.


I'll be 59 when DD graduates college (hopefully) and I thought that was young, since my dad was 62 when I graduated.

Re: For those who are over 35

I'll be 35 when LO arrives. To be honest, at this point, we're not planning on trying for another, but who knows. I already have a beautiful SD so as far as I'm concerned, I will have 2. Our decision is based on what we feel comfortable with right now and what we think we can handle, not so much as how old I am and will be when LO graduates, etc. Plus, I think there are great advantages that come with having children a little bit older.