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Am I being selfish?
In general my "family" is very volatile and always arguing about something (I try to keep out of it) and the current argument is regarding me declining to drive my mother to a baby shower in Philadelphia at 39 weeks preggo.
My mother does not drive and there is no one else to drive her to the shower, which is actually a jack and Jill party for my cousins wife. At first it seemed obvious to me that I shouldn't be venturing on the road very far at that point but now I am wondering if I am overreacting since it's really only a 2-3 hour drive.
Since my cousins mothers is so upset she has made it clear to my mother that no one on her side of the family would participate in a baby shower for me since I will not be helping out with my cousins baby shower. Btw I actually wasn't even invited to the shower until last minute when they needed a chauffeur for my mom.
Am I being selfish and overreacting as they think I am?
Sorry so long , I just feel devastated about how angry everyone is with me and wondering if I made the wrong decision.
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Posted 5/25/11 12:11 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
JavaJunkie
Someday, Somehow
Member since 6/05 5857 total posts
Name:
Lois
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Re: Am I being selfish?
Honestly I think your family is being incredibly rude! No way I'd be driving that far at 39 weeks and no one would expect me to!
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| Posted 5/25/11 12:13 PM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: Am I being selfish?
Posted by JavaJunkie
Honestly I think your family is being incredibly rude! No way I'd be driving that far at 39 weeks and no one would expect me to!
ITA... i think they are being selfish... and just the simple fact that you were only invited to be your moms shauffer would make me not want to go....
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| Posted 5/25/11 12:14 PM |
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DreamComeTrue
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/11 541 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I being selfish?
My doctor doesn't want me travelling more than an hour away from home starting June 7th (34 weeks). My pregnancy has been smooth sailing the entire time without any complications. Just a precaution because you never know.
Get a doctor's note to show you can't travel that far along.
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| Posted 5/25/11 12:14 PM |
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Pomegranate5
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 4798 total posts
Name:
Pomegranate5
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Re: Am I being selfish?
How could they possibly expect you to commit to ANYTHING at 39 weeks??? You could very well be in labor at that point, or have already had the baby. They need to get over themselves (your cousins).
I'm assuming your doctor would strongly advise against that. Especially since YOU are the only driver.
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| Posted 5/25/11 12:15 PM |
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BethanyLynn
Love these munchkins
Member since 10/09 6295 total posts
Name:
Bethany
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Re: Am I being selfish?
No way! I would not be driving too far from home at 39 weeks. They are being ridiculous!!!! Stick to your guns!
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| Posted 5/25/11 12:20 PM |
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MrsG102
LIF Infant
Member since 11/10 256 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I being selfish?
Whoa.. No offense but your family is being extremely selfish and rude. I drove to get my dress fixed a few days ago (I'm 32 weeks), and my seamstress yelled at me for being behind the wheel. She's only like 10 blocks away from my house.
Not only is it not safe to be on the road at 39 weeks and behind a wheel.. (God forbit there's an accident or something), but what if you go into labor????
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| Posted 5/25/11 12:22 PM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Am I being selfish?
I would be flipping out on ur family right now...My mother gave me crap about not having her over this weekend and that she hasn't seen DD in two weeks..I lost it on her that I'm almost 36 weeks and that I'll be having 2 kids soon and I want some time for myself, if she had the nerve to ask me to drive her that far that late in my pregnancy I'd flip!!!!
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| Posted 5/25/11 12:30 PM |
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buttercup
St. Jude pray for us...
Member since 1/11 2951 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I being selfish?
I'd flipping out at your mom.. and if you feel bad, just send them a gift.. ugh I'm so pizzed, I would call up your cousin's mom and have a word with her.
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| Posted 5/25/11 12:38 PM |
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Budjeg11
LIF Adult
Member since 4/11 2644 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I being selfish?
Im with everyone else, its YOU who should be ****** at all of THEM!
You're are NOT being sellfish, they are being RIDICULOUS!
Oh and  that you have to deal with this!
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| Posted 5/25/11 1:26 PM |
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LotsaLuv
Us
Member since 6/10 4094 total posts
Name:
F
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Re: Am I being selfish?
They r being unreasonable and childish. i would flat out tell them that i could care less what they think, my baby and my health and safety come first and they will have to deal with it.
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| Posted 5/25/11 1:30 PM |
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Champ
2 little ladies
Member since 1/11 2918 total posts
Name:
Rose
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Re: Am I being selfish?
Posted by Budjeg11
Im with everyone else, its YOU who should be ****** at all of THEM!
You're are NOT being sellfish, they are being RIDICULOUS!
Oh and that you have to deal with this!
I completely agree
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| Posted 5/25/11 1:32 PM |
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diva7531
My Peanut
Member since 2/07 5199 total posts
Name:
Ryan 3 boys EDD 11/6!
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Re: Am I being selfish?
Posted by Budjeg11
Im with everyone else, its YOU who should be ****** at all of THEM!
You're are NOT being sellfish, they are being RIDICULOUS!
Oh and that you have to deal with this!
They are all out of their cottin pickin minds!!!! Asking you to drive that far @ 39 weeks!!!! I don't think your Dr would even allow that. Oy, family, good luck
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| Posted 5/25/11 1:34 PM |
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MrsPenthouse
LIF Adult
Member since 11/10 924 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I being selfish?
You are NOT being selfish. It boggles my mind HOW they would possibly expect you to go ANYWHERE at 39 weeks. You do what is best for you and YOUR baby and that's it!
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| Posted 5/25/11 1:39 PM |
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blustar214
So in love with my little girl
Member since 1/10 2471 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I being selfish?
I think your family is being crazy!!! You are definitely not being selfish!
Not that you should have to, but perhaps make it clear that your Dr has told you that under no circumstances are you to be driving that far at that point in your pregnancy. My Dr wasn't impressed with me attending a wedding in the Hamptons at 35 weeks, I'm pretty sure he would have laughed at me had I mentioned driving 2-3 hours at 39!!!
If your mother really wants to attend, she can always take the bus or train!
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| Posted 5/25/11 1:53 PM |
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MySunshine
In love with my Baby Boy
Member since 3/11 2783 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I being selfish?
I don't think you're being selfish at all. Sorry to say but I think your family is nuts for expecting you to make that trip being 39 weeks pregnant. Right now it's about you and your LO's safety; if that's too much for them to understand then that is their problem.
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| Posted 5/25/11 2:13 PM |
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Erica
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 11767 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I being selfish?
is it a bridal or baby shower for your cousin? If it's a baby shower, I would tell them that you are planning a party in her 39th week...and see what they say.
I cannot see your doctor OKing this at all!
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| Posted 5/25/11 3:32 PM |
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InShock2011
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/11 722 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I being selfish?
Posted by JavaJunkie
Honestly I think your family is being incredibly rude! No way I'd be driving that far at 39 weeks and no one would expect me to!
ITA!!
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| Posted 5/25/11 3:43 PM |
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MrsP
LIF Infant
Member since 2/11 303 total posts
Name:
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Re: Am I being selfish?
You are totally right in this whole situation and everyone else is wrong wrong wrong!!!!
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| Posted 5/25/11 4:42 PM |
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Re: Am I being selfish?
I guess my initial instincts were right, thanks ladies.
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| Posted 5/25/11 5:06 PM |
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BlueDiamonds
mommy to 3 boys
Member since 2/07 3885 total posts
Name:
proud mommy
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Re: Am I being selfish?
you are definitely not selfish - they are! and this is for your cousin's baby shower? if the rolls were reversed, i highly doubt her mother would let her drive 2-3 hours at 39 weeks. you would think they would be more understanding!
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| Posted 5/25/11 5:07 PM |
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Shorty
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Member since 5/05 30390 total posts
Name:
really
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Re: Am I being selfish?
you're 100% correct - my Dr won't even let me go that far from home after 34 weeks. They're being very selfish!
With DS1, my water broke @ 38 weeks exactly. You never know, you could be a mommy already @ 39 weeks!
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| Posted 5/25/11 5:09 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: Am I being selfish?
Posted by JavaJunkie
Honestly I think your family is being incredibly rude! No way I'd be driving that far at 39 weeks and no one would expect me to!
ITA! It is not your fault your mom does not drive. And invited at the last minute to be a chauffer and now you are the bad guy? oh HELLL no! If you were invited in the first place you STILL have a good reason NOT to go being you are 39w pregnant! But since you were an afterthought invite, boo hoo to them!
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| Posted 5/25/11 5:59 PM |
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LightUpOurLife
Totally in love
Member since 8/06 12785 total posts
Name:
Bonnie-Jean
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Re: Am I being selfish?
Tell them that you spoke with your Doctor and he/she is forbidding you. My Doctor told me blame everything on him. He doesn't mind. He'll back me up.
NO way should you be doing that at 39 weeks.
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| Posted 5/25/11 6:48 PM |
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chrisnjoe8108
He's 1!
Member since 8/08 5649 total posts
Name:
Chris
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Re: Am I being selfish?
You are not being selfish at all!!! That is a far drive for 39 weeks. There is no way your Dr would want you to do that anyway. Don't even worry about it. They are being selfish not you!
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| Posted 5/25/11 7:00 PM |
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