TY

Message edited 4/30/2011 12:42:13 PM.

Re: Relationship related but need advice from fellow preggos...

Maybe try to make plans to get together for lunch or dinner and use that as a way to catch up and share your feelings / clear the air.

Re: Relationship related but need advice from fellow preggos...

i dont know, IMO people just have their own lives. i think the fact that she texted you about your appt and about pink or blue was nice of her. im not sure how much you expect her to be super involved considering shes in a way different part of her life. i have a cousin who im super close with and is pregnant 10w behind me. we talk all the time about everything. meanwhile one of my best friends is nowhere near baby ready and we dont talk so much right now. but i honestly feel like thats fine. people get absorbed in their own lives. while you are absorbed in baby world, she's absorbed in her boyfriend drama. i think its normal and you shouldnt hold it against her IMO. but im not the type to really hold a grudge either.

Re: Relationship related but need advice from fellow preggos...

I see a few things here.

First she is obviously at a different point in her life and from the looks of it, she seems jealous of where you are with your life. Her and her boyfriend clearly have this unsteady relationship where they keep breaking up and are on another one of their breaks. To her she might even think this is the final break. Who knows.... maybe it is and maybe that's hard for her. Then here you are... married... I'm assuming happily married and in a very steady relationship. And not only that but now you are pregnant with your first child.
I think she's jealous and the movement in your life probably reminds her of her stagnant life in a way. It's probably very hard for her to relate to you right now, especially when she's not where you are. And she's probably also letting her own personal feelings get in the way of being there for you.

BUT I also see the same from your end. I know you said there's more to the history and story... but from what you wrote here... it seems you haven't asked her much about her break up (even if it is the 100th break up with this guy) or what's going on with her life. And you probably didn't do that because you are bitter and upset about her not asking about your pregnancy. You said she texted you about pink or blue and you responded, then she texted more questions and you never asked her how she was. Well here I see a very clear attempt on her part... and though you went along with it... the attempt wasn't reciprocated. I'm sure she is feeling you are as absent from her life as you feel she is absent from yours.

I think she kept a distance because of jealousy... but I just don't see the effort on either part. Someone eventually has to be the bigger person. If it were me, I would give an effort to say "How are you doing?" The more time that goes on.. the more awkward it's going to be.

I also think you are saying you are done with her out of anger. she's your cousin and probably going to be around for a long time. IDK if your families get together for holidays, etc.

I have MANY non-pregnant and non-married friends. it can be hard to keep in touch with them. The thing they want to do are things I'm just not interested in right now and honestly a lot of them are upset about not being married yet and some are upset about not being married AND not having kids etc. So they tend to not like to hear too much of it from me. I just try to make sure our conversations are even and that I'm finding out stuff about their lives too and what goes on in them... even though we are on different pages.

I'm sorry... I hope you aren't offended by anything I wrote... that's just what I gather from what you wrote and it's my honest opinion on it all.

Re: TY

TY Kerri, not offended at all. There is a lot more to our relationship. And it is complicated. It is hard to express it all here.

I think it yrs if me "doing the right thing" for example she never called my mom, the only aunt she has, to congratulate her. That makes me angry bc it was hurtful to my mother.

I think you are right and I am acting out of anger. The thing is for yrs I have been there for her. I have felt that since I am happily married and she is in a bad relationship THAT is why our relationship was more about me giving and her taking.

The thing that is hurtful is that for four months she could did not pick up the phone to say hello and see how I am feeling.

If I ever did that to her, not only would she crucify me but myaunt and uncle would to. I think I am sick of the rules not applying to her.

Message edited 4/30/2011 1:05:58 PM.