how do i decide to BF or not?

Can anyone recommend some material for me to look at to help me make this decision?

i have to be honest.. the thought of BF'ing does NOT appeal to me. But on the other hand, i want to do what is best for the baby..

I'd like to read some objective material on the pros/cons of BF'ing to help me learn more about it.

i plan on asking my OB at my 20 wk appt for more info (but that's not for another 3 weeks) but i'd like to have done some research into it beforehand as well

thanks!

Re: how do i decide to BF or not?

i'm struggling with the same decision.

Re: how do i decide to BF or not?

Posted by Bearcat

i'm struggling with the same decision.

Re: how do i decide to BF or not?

My mom never did. Apparently she thought it was "gross" (according to my dad). I think it was a women's lib thing and because she's also a prude who doesn't want people to know she has breasts and wanted to get back to work asap after we were born since her own mother was forced to stay home and watch the kids. (Although, oddly, I found out recently that neither of my grandmothers BF either!)

I wanted to BF very badly but couldn't because I never got a milk supply (it happens to 5% of people I was told, especially those with hormonal issues like PCOS). So sometimes the choice is yours and sometimes it isn't.

Every doctor, LC, etc, I spoke to assured me that formula is perfectly healthy for the baby. They all said that if you can give the baby colostrum for the first few days, that's really the very most important stuff that comes out of you, and from there transitioning to formula is perfectly healthy.

It's very frustrating for someone who wanted to BF to read on every single can of formula that "breast milk is best" when sometimes breast milk doesn't exist. I had to turn a blind eye to that and trust the doctors that my baby will grow up healthy without it.

I mean, my brother and I did. So did my parents. I don't know why I felt so much pressure and so awful about not being able to BF. I think a lot of it was society today is so gung-ho BF or you're hurting your child, but it isn't true.

I'm sure you'll make the decision that works best for you!

Re: how do i decide to BF or not?

I never wanted to BF, but I was willing to pump so the baby could get the benefit of my milk -

I honestly tried SO hard, like you said, to find OBJECTIVE information - and I found it all to be 'breast is best' propaganda - Even when it came to pumping - I could not find ANY information on it, and the little I DID find alwasy started with "if you CAN'T breastfeed and MUST pump ..........." which totally turned me off.

If you're on the fence, I think the only thing you can do is try it and decide at that point if it's something you're comfortable with and want to continue doing. No amount of reading or other's opinions will determine that for you - KWIM? It's a very personal decision -

Re: how do i decide to BF or not?

You can read up all you want about it...but in the end it's just a decision you will have to make and see if you are comfortable with it.

I think the best way to go into it is, if you want to try....you will try and hope it works. But if for whatever reason it doesn't seem to be going well (supply issues, pain, just do not like it), then you can tell yourself it's okay to go to formula.

I have all intentions of trying to BF. But I am always going into it with the realization that it might not work and I will not beat myself up over it if it doesn't. I've known friends who said they would just give it a try and probably wouldn't continue...and wound up feeding & pumping for a year. While others who were 100% pro-BFing and didn't want formula touching their child's mouth...then being the first to say "omg hell no, this wasn't for me."

If you want to give it a try...go right ahead. But don't feel pressured like you have to at all!

Re: how do i decide to BF or not?

Re: how do i decide to BF or not?

Re: how do i decide to BF or not?

The way I decided was, I just had to try. If it worked, great if not, that was ok too. With #1 I BF for 5 weeks and stopped, with #2 I EBF for 11 months and now with #3 I am EBF but I am going to start pumping soon so she can get both bottle and breast.

I really don't think you are going to find any "con's" for either breast or formula. It is what you are comfortable with.

Re: how do i decide to BF or not?

I agree wth PP, if you are interested in trying then go for it. If not, don't feel bad. Baby will be fed and get what it needs, either way. I am willing to try but am learning that due to my PCOS it may be a huge failure anyway. I will see what happens and I will not beat myself up if it doesn't work. Just FYI my sistger has 4 kids, not a one ever got so much as a glance at her boobs and all are bright, healthy and happy!

Re: how do i decide to BF or not?

i never thought i would wanna breast feed, im still not 100% into it, but i hear its best for the baby, and its got other positives (some kinda selfish)

will save tons of money
helps you loose weight (apparently you burn an extra 500 calories a day)

and i think its a great way to bond with the baby. something you will be able to do that nobody else can.

but i also have to say i dont think there is anything wrong with formula! i was fed formula and im totally fine! im going to try to breat feed and if it doesnt work im not going to kick myself and worry my baby wont be as healthy.

Message edited 4/19/2011 1:31:04 PM.

Re: how do i decide to BF or not?

It is such a personal decision...and one that no one can really tell you how to make.

For me, it just didn't feel natural. My mom didn't breast feed me, DH's family is all non-breast feed-ers...but the main thing was I just didn't feel comfortable.

I bonded with DD instantly...and despite being able to allow others to feed her, our bond was and is the strongest of all her bonds...so I don't think we missed anything there.

There are certainly benefits to breast feeding, but there are benefits (in my opinion) to formula feeding as well. I knew exactly how much my daughter ate, and I was able to focus on getting me healthy again (trying to lose weight, diet, back on PCOS medications, etc)....which i felt gave her the best Mommy I could be.

Read everything you can, ask everyone you can, but at the end of the day, I say go with what your gut instinct says is the right thing for you and your baby!

Re: how do i decide to BF or not?

I was on the fence with DS about it so I decided to give it a try. I did it for about 5 days and then called it quits I honestly didn't quit because it was uncomfortable, embarassing, etc.. I quit because after 5 days I felt that DS wasn't getting enough milk (he was up every hour to feed) so I'm pretty sure my milk never came in. I never leaked, got super sore, engorged- so that made me feel happy that I tried but I knew it just wasn't working out and I wasn't so invested in doing it that I was about to call in a LC or anything. Formula worked out great for us, we had a few reflux-type issues and with forumla we were able to switch to find the right one for DS. I didn't have to change my diet and I could leave DS without worrying about how he would eat. So formula has it's benefits too. I'm still not decided about what to do this time, probably just wait and see what happens like I did with DS. Formula is always available if BF'ing doesn't work out.

Re: how do i decide to BF or not?

honestly i never wanted to bf either - i know it is a natural thing but i just really didn't think it was for me - i thought exclusively pumping sounded like the best option but i decided to try it wither way and not get mad at myself if i did not do it long

i actually primarly tried because i have breast cancer in my family - int he women who did not bf -- so i was doing something that could reduce my risk of breast cancer

i ended up pumping a lot in the begininning because my son would not latch - my mom encougaged me to work with lacation consultants to get him to latch and it worked - pumping was very time consuming - washing all the pump peices and bottle - ans setting an alarm to wake up to pump was the most brutal thing when you are exhausted. it is different when you wake up to a cryign baby - adreline kicks in- much easier to get up then

i ended up findign bfing so easy especially between months 4-6 - just grabbed my little guy and a cover and we could be out for hours - it was so easy to have him - and did not have tolug anything - food just makes it one more thing to have with you

i ended up going an entire year which shocked me that i could do it - but i just took it one week or month at a time - and i never had a problem supplementing with formula when needed - at the end i realized the great bond i had with my son and cherished so last few nursign sessions as he turned 1 - i never thought i had that nursing bond or could ever have it but i developed and loved breast feeding

sorry this is so long but i was there - and i say try but it is not an easy thing

Huntington Hospital offers free classes for breastfeeding and the lacation consulatant who runs them is so nice and caring - she also runs a support group for nursing moms which is a nice place to talk - she is not anti formula either - very laid back

Re: how do i decide to BF or not?

I was very on the fence with DD and decided to give it a try. It was a miserable experience for me and I think really it was because I had a bad c section recovery in the first few days, I am a very private person and couldnt handle all the attention on my breasts from both inside the hospital and in daily life and also because I just didnt have the energy in the first few weeks to seek out additional support. I felt so much guilt when I decided to stop but felt better within hours both physically and emotionally.
All that being said, I am going to try again with this baby but not beat myself up about it again if it ends up being torture again. I have no problem going straight to FF if it does.
As a few posters said above, it is really really hard to find objective information regarding this decision. Absolutely ANYTHING written about FF starts out with the caveat "breast is best but..." so to me, that is absolutely not objective.

Re: how do i decide to BF or not?

When I had DD, I had the philosophy that I would try and if it works & I felt comfortable doing it, great! Otherwise I would have had no issues using formula. I did take a class at the hospital before having her and was very happy that it was a very low pressure class. I was happy that DD took to it very easily. She had no problems latching, etc. So I did it for 6 months. I was never comfortable doing it in front of people and at 6 months, I was done. I am still happy with my decision. This time around with twins, I'll give it a try again and may try harder with pumping (I hated that with DD, so I rarely did it.) But again, if it doesn't work out, I have no issues using formula.

As others have said, it's such a personal decision and it really is all about what YOU feel comfortable doing.