UGH..only 5 weeks and my mother....

is telling my husband I that she WILL be in the delivery room! My husband does not want this at all! My mother has become slightly overbearing this past year. I thought a mother would be invited in if chosen. Nope, not mine. I know she has her heart set on this. She is so stubborn and now I have to find a way to tell her that this is between my husband and I. It's a special moment for just us. I definitely do not need my mother checking out certain areas!!

Re: UGH..only 5 weeks and my mother....

i would just let her know as soon as possible!!

tell her she is welcome in the waiting room, but only you and your hubs will be in the delivery room!

Re: UGH..only 5 weeks and my mother....

definitely tell her how you feel. you are allowed to decide who is and who isn't allowed in the room. don't let her pressure you if you don't feel comfortable having her there!

Re: UGH..only 5 weeks and my mother....

take a deep breath and tell her how you feel now.

Re: UGH..only 5 weeks and my mother....

Re: UGH..only 5 weeks and my mother....

Thanks everyone! Are any of you having your mothers in the delivery room?

Re: UGH..only 5 weeks and my mother....

Message edited 4/15/2011 9:06:57 AM.

Re: UGH..only 5 weeks and my mother....

I can understand. I was shocked when my sister said she hopes I don't have to have a cs because she wants to be in the delivery room No way, no how! It's going to be me, DH and the medical staff.

Re: UGH..only 5 weeks and my mother....

I agree w/everyone else sit her down asap and just explain that this is between you and DH & its not anything personal against her.

I dont have a Mom so no worries about that. I wouldn't be surprised if my MIL at least asks my DH, not in front of me, if she can be there. There is now way that I'm cool w/that & I believe DH feels the same way.

Re: UGH..only 5 weeks and my mother....

My mom told me that she wanted to be in the delivery room (in a non-pushy way) and I was ok with it, but DH wasn't. So I told her the truth and she understood completely. Now that I'm pg with #2, I told her that she can come in the room this time around and she is thrilled! If you plan on having more kids, maybe she will agree to being in the room if you have #2?

Re: UGH..only 5 weeks and my mother....

If you can't bring yourself to be honest with her, you could always tell her that unfortunately its hospital policy that you can only have one person in the delivery room with you, no more than that. What she doesn't know....

Then again I'm a big chicken when it comes to telling the truth sometimes.

Re: UGH..only 5 weeks and my mother....

Be honest with her. If you only want DH to be there, you have every right to be alone with ur hubby.

In my case, I wanted my mom and DH there, I told them both from the beginning. At first my mom said she would just wait in the waiting room bc she was afraid she would pass out but when the time came I asked if she could please be there as well. Her and DH have a way of keeping me calm.

When it came to the actual labor, she sat back while DH held my legs and hand while I pushed. My mom kept feeding me ice chips in between pushes. It was a real help to have her there but do what you feel comfortable with, it's your time and you share it with who you want.

Good Luck

Re: UGH..only 5 weeks and my mother....

no way could I have my mom in there!

Nobody was even at the hospital with my two kids (the way we wanted it)

Re: UGH..only 5 weeks and my mother....

Definitely tell her how you feel.

Maybe I'm abnormal but I'm having my mom MIL and SIL in the room along with me and DH lol...I feel like I'll need all the support I can get!

Re: UGH..only 5 weeks and my mother....

Re: UGH..only 5 weeks and my mother....

I would NOT want my mother with me (we have a terrible relationship anyway) and she never said a word about it (her being 500 miles away helps ha ha). But in your situation, what I would do is to put her off for now. Tell her that you can revisit it once you're further along in the pregnancy and have taken your L&D class and see how you feel and what you want then. Ask her not to mention it between now and then, too, because all that will do is put more stress on you to think about things you don't need to be deciding right now and that the last thing either of you need is stress for the baby!

If she brings it up again, remind her that you agreed to re-discuss it after the 32 week time (or maybe 36 lol) and if she brings it up ANOTHER time, it's going to be an automatic "no" because you're not ready to discuss it.

Re: UGH..only 5 weeks and my mother....

Eek. I hear ya. My mother has said on more than one occasion that she would really like to be there and that I'm definitely going to be asking for my mother but I have told her that as of this point, DH and I want it to be between just us. She understands that though so I'm not too worried about offending her. I told her if things change, she will be the first person to know. .

I personally am not a fan of having an audience but that's just me.

Re: UGH..only 5 weeks and my mother....

Re: UGH..only 5 weeks and my mother....

Posted by ruby

If you can't bring yourself to be honest with her, you could always tell her that unfortunately its hospital policy that you can only have one person in the delivery room with you, no more than that. What she doesn't know....

Then again I'm a big chicken when it comes to telling the truth sometimes.

Re: UGH..only 5 weeks and my mother....

Thanks everyone! I think the part that makes me the most mad is that she told us that she would be in the room!! She has overstepped her boundaries here. My husband told her no and she said "oh you think so"!! So ballsy!

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Re: UGH..only 5 weeks and my mother....

YIKES!
I don't want anyone in there but my DH and the workers that have to be there.
My baby, my vagina, my decision!!!!

You should have a talk with her. If she still doesn't understand... then you go into labor and call her AFTER the fact. then it's too late for her to come into the room!!
I swear that's exactly what I would do!!

Re: UGH..only 5 weeks and my mother....

I am very extremely close with my mom and went back and forth on this the whole pregnancy. DH and her are close as well and we do a lot together, she is a very big part of our lives. DH was giants it one day and didn't really care the next the whole pregnancy. I wbt through a long induction and at the hospital DH was against it but then I profressd so quickly and we were so excited that we didn't really care if she was there or not. She stood in the back and we didn't even noticed she was there. I'm het only child and this is her first grandson and I am so incredibly happy she got to experience this!!!! Wouldn't want it any other way!
However this is a very intimate moment and you could be having a rough time with the pushing and it can all be very overwhelming. I say put this subject on the backburber for now and revisit when it's closet to deliver. You might either change your mind or just tell her how you feel. No one can argue with the huge, tired hormonal third trimester prefo! Good luck!

Re: UGH..only 5 weeks and my mother....

Well here's the thing - when I delivered DD my nurses said you tell us who you want in here and we will kick everyone else out as "being against hospital policy". Meaning if you don't want to get in a confrontation with your mom, you nurses or even your doctor will likely be willing to tell her she can't be in there, that it is hospital policy that only 1 person is allowed in.

Re: UGH..only 5 weeks and my mother....

Yikes, I would never allow my mom, MIL or anyone besides DH that doesn't medically need to be in there in that room.

You need to tell her how you feel. This is your time with your DH, she can sit in the waiting room. Could you tell a little white lie that the hospital only allows 1 person in the room? I believe this was true for my SIL at St. Catherine's.