It's happening again-itch to find out the gender/gender preference

I really want to be team green this time around.

I found out the gender with DD and DS and I loved finding out with them. But, since this is my third and last pregnancy and because we already have one of each, I wanted to be team green to make it a little more special/different. My other pregnancies were special because they were my first or because I was having a boy, so this one needs its own "thing".

However, I find myself leaning towards wanting a girl. I hate myself for this because DS has some delays and if anything should have taught me that gender doesn't matter only the health of the baby, it should have been this

I think I will stay team green-as a sort of penance and because I still think it is exciting.

Also, I think this is a girl and part of me think I should find out just because I don't want to be caught off guard.

Okay, there, it's all out in the open now.

ETA: just to clarify-I do not in anyway think Owen is a punishment, Owen is a blessing and such a sweetheart. I think Owen is paying for my sins in a way and I hate that I did that to him. Also-so far, Owen is just delayed. However, he is making huge strides and if he would just start talking I would think the worst is behind us and feel overwhelmingly fortunate that "it", whatever that is, passed us by. Now I really sound like a loon.

Message edited 4/1/2011 11:53:39 AM.

Re: It's happening again-itch to find out the gender/gender preference

First of all I hate that you are thinking of "punishing" yourself. Your concerns are very real and ARE health related, not really gender related - they just happened to be tied to a specific gender because of your experience.

Secondly, on a more practical level - I don't have the same concerns as you but in the very off chance we have another, I know we would love to be team green but it wouldn't be realisitic because we would want to know ahead of time who is sharing a room with who (since we would want to put 2 girls or 2 boys together).

Re: It's happening again-itch to find out the gender/gender preference

You know I could never be Team Green. I always say to find out if you have some preference - I think it gives you 20 weeks to come to terms with your new reality. You don't want to feel disspointment at all on the day of the birth.

Find out a special way though. I refuse to find out next time sitting on that table with the cold goo on me. I'm going to do exactly what another poster just did and have my family over and have my cake girl make a cake for me - with either pink or blue cake inside.

You don't have to find out that way - but we can try to come up with another cute way.

Re: It's happening again-itch to find out the gender/gender preference

I vote hang in there!!
This is your last time, right?
I'm a little tempted, I def. am. But I've always been team green but knew it was a boy each time. Now I don't feel 100% boy, I'm leaning toward a little more girl and anytime I consider finding out I think of how much more surprised I will be that day.

Would I like to experience having a daughter? Yes, I would.
Would I like DH to have a little girl? Yep.
But, do I see myself with 3 boys? Yep!
Will I be disappointed if that's how it pans out? No way - this is what is in store for me and either way is wonderful.
Will it make a difference if I know at 20 or 40 wks? Nope. Personally, I think when you're team green there is no room for disappointment - you are handed a beautiful baby - at that moment nothing else matters.

Hang in there, hang in there, hang in there!
You might be leaning more toward another girl, but you know in your heart a boy won't be disappointing.
And don't hate yourself for preferring a girl - it doesn't mean you won't love your son if that's who you get.

Message edited 4/1/2011 10:48:26 AM.

Re: It's happening again-itch to find out the gender/gender preference

Posted by headoverheels

First of all I hate that you are thinking of "punishing" yourself. Your concerns are very real and ARE health related, not really gender related - they just happened to be tied to a specific gender because of your experience.

Secondly, on a more practical level - I don't have the same concerns as you but in the very off chance we have another, I know we would love to be team green but it wouldn't be realisitic because we would want to know ahead of time who is sharing a room with who (since we would want to put 2 girls or 2 boys together).

Re: It's happening again-itch to find out the gender/gender preference

team green.

#3 is a new experience all together.
#3 got in there at the last possible second before a big bday cut off.
#3 has a sister and a brother, hand me downs are coming either way.
#3 deserves the moment. the moment of being handed over to a mother who just experienced the miracle of life-boy/girl..who the eff cares in that moment...it is magic.
#4 if you feel girl-time to make that deal now with the scrabble king. you name the girl, he names the boy ;)

if you find out at 20 weeks and it is a boy...what is going to be on your mind more?
weight? height? hair color? hearing test?
you can't change anything, i believe you can't prepare yourself for anything...it is bigger then you.

or whatever, find out, and i will meet you at a chili's off 485 with a cute outfit for baby #3

Re: It's happening again-itch to find out the gender/gender preference

Ok - I must be getting my period because Jessee and Janice have me hysterical crying. If I were on the phone with you right now I'd be saying "Don't find out! Don't do it!" (in a sobbing voice of course)

I will not be reading this thread when I get pregnant because there is no shot in helll I am not finding out

Re: It's happening again-itch to find out the gender/gender preference

I say stay team green if you have even the slightest gender preference. Once that baby is handed to you, you will not care in the slightest the gender, if you find out before hand you may be disappointed and who wants to be disappointed the day they find out the gender of their child?

When you found out you were having a boy last time, were you disappointed? Did it take away from the experience at all? How do you think you will react if the baby is a boy this time? I only ask because I know from previous posts you had wanted 2 girls, and had tried to sway previously, not sure if you did this time.

Please don't beat yourself up for having a gender preference. I want a girl someday. I am not afraid to admit it. If I don't have a daughter there will be part of me that will be a little disappointed, not because I won't love my son's to bits, and consider myself blessed beyond belief, but because I won't be able to experience what it is like to have a daughter.

They are YOUR feelings, and they are valid.

Re: It's happening again-itch to find out the gender/gender preference

Posted by Diana1215

Ok - I must be getting my period because Jessee and Janice have me hysterical crying. If I were on the phone with you right now I'd be saying "Don't find out! Don't do it!" (in a sobbing voice of course)

I will not be reading this thread when I get pregnant because there is no shot in helll I am not finding out

Re: It's happening again-itch to find out the gender/gender preference

Re: It's happening again-itch to find out the gender/gender preference

Now I think I'm jinxed. That it will be a girl but that she will have issues and that I did this to her.

My poor kids have a loon for a mom. If I wasn't knocked up I for sure would think I was PMSing.

Thanks everyone. I think I am going to try to hold out and maybe get an amnio to give me more peace of mind and just put the focus on the health. Diana-you are like me, back and forth, back and forth!

LB-funny, I remember you posting a similar thread when you were pregnant with DD, and I told you something very similar!

Janice you are probably right-Maybe not knowing the gender will be a nice distraction from thinking about the his/her health. Because honestly at my core I know that is all that matters.

Katie-I didn't try to sway gender with this one at all. Just as an experiment with my first and a little when I thought TTC would be easy with my second. At least I learned that lesson! I do dream about sisters-but really that is a manifestation of my own childhood because I always wanted one. I know that sisters don't necessarily get along and that some brothers and sisters are best friends. And that not all brothers cause heck for their parents. Some things from our childhood still carry over.

Jesse-you are going to have to keep propping me up on this one if I am going to make it all the way to October without caving!

Thanks everyone

Re: It's happening again-itch to find out the gender/gender preference

Posted by CrankyPants

Now I think I'm jinxed. That it will be a girl but that she will have issues and that I did this to her.



Katie-I didn't try to sway gender with this one at all. Just as an experiment with my first and a little when I thought TTC would be easy with my second. At least I learned that lesson! I do dream about sisters-but really that is a manifestation of my own childhood because I always wanted one. I know that sisters don't necessarily get along and that some brothers and sisters are best friends. And that not all brothers cause heck for their parents. Some things from our childhood still carry over.


Thanks everyone

Re: It's happening again-itch to find out the gender/gender preference

What is meant to be is meant to be. I was nervous and scared having a second boy because first DS had developmental delays and issues predominantly found with boys.

I wanted another boy because I wanted Johnny to have a brother. I figured i could handle anything given to me and would love any baby regardless of abililties or delays.

Thankfully Ryan developed beautifully (actually way advanced in every area, its insane!!) and Johnny has thrived wonderfully as well. They love one another SO SO MUCH and they have an amazing bond.

In my opinion, it ends up just being a waste of time to worry about the what ifs (Easier said than done) b/c any child COULD have problems and any child COULD develop perfectly typically. I totally understand how you feel..you just want a healthy baby and girls do seem to be diagnosed with less. But it will all work out whatever baby comes your way...

Re: It's happening again-itch to find out the gender/gender preference

Posted by SweetCaroline

I vote hang in there!!
This is your last time, right?
I'm a little tempted, I def. am. But I've always been team green but knew it was a boy each time. Now I don't feel 100% boy, I'm leaning toward a little more girl and anytime I consider finding out I think of how much more surprised I will be that day.

Will it make a difference if I know at 20 or 40 wks? Nope. Personally, I think when you're team green there is no room for disappointment - you are handed a beautiful baby - at that moment nothing else matters.

Hang in there, hang in there, hang in there!
You might be leaning more toward another girl, but you know in your heart a boy won't be disappointing.
And don't hate yourself for preferring a girl - it doesn't mean you won't love your son if that's who you get.

Re: It's happening again-itch to find out the gender/gender preference

Posted by SweetCaroline

I vote hang in there!!
This is your last time, right?
I'm a little tempted, I def. am. But I've always been team green but knew it was a boy each time. Now I don't feel 100% boy, I'm leaning toward a little more girl and anytime I consider finding out I think of how much more surprised I will be that day.

Would I like to experience having a daughter? Yes, I would.
Would I like DH to have a little girl? Yep.
But, do I see myself with 3 boys? Yep!
Will I be disappointed if that's how it pans out? No way - this is what is in store for me and either way is wonderful.
Will it make a difference if I know at 20 or 40 wks? Nope. Personally, I think when you're team green there is no room for disappointment - you are handed a beautiful baby - at that moment nothing else matters.

Hang in there, hang in there, hang in there!
You might be leaning more toward another girl, but you know in your heart a boy won't be disappointing.
And don't hate yourself for preferring a girl - it doesn't mean you won't love your son if that's who you get.

Re: It's happening again-itch to find out the gender/gender preference

I totally understand how you feel. I was team green because I know that it won't matter once they hand me the baby but I secretly want a girl. Well being team green two techs slipped boy. At first I was just glad everything was okay. I know thats the most important thing. But I always wanted a sister and I wanted the same for my dd. I also worry that it seems boys have so many more developmental issues than girls.