SIL story - UPDATED - she replied to me

This is a sad situation and SIL is very stubborn and doesn't like hearing the truth. She will stop talking to you for a few weeks if you tell her something she doesn't want to hear.

Her and her DH have an 8 yr old girl. He supposedly had a vasectomy. Then, back in June SIL suspected she was pregnant because she was feeling the baby's movements. However when she saw a doctor (or a few doctors) she was told she was not pregnant and was even "yelled at" (I doubt that but she tends to embellish). Anyway, so, she set up a gift registry with her EDD for early October thinking she was around 6 months in June/July.

We are now in February. She has not had any prenatal care, no sonos (no insurance) and we have no idea what is going on with her. She said to FIL in December that if nothing happened by the 18th (of Dec.) she would see a Dr. So, FIL called her on the 19th to see what happened. She never went to the Dr. FIL stressed that this is very important, she didn't want to listen to it and didn't talk to him for a week.

She said she bought a fetal doppler and has been listening to the "baby" that way. So, this doppler is the only source of medical care for her, she doesn't even know when she "conceived" or got her LMP, if it really is a baby, how many?? I saw pics of her from Oct. and she did look pregnant but she's a heavy girl to begin with. DH and I are actually scared for her.

Is it me or does this girl need to be smacked upside the head??!!

UPDATE:

Well, I e-mailed SIL (DH's sister) with DH's permission. I was blunt but as she put it in her reply, she sensed the tone was "snippy". I basically asked What is going on with this "baby?"

As she put it, the only thing that she could think of is that she conceived, miscarried, then conceived again and that is what messed up her calculations for an EDD. She said that since she's had a history of miscarriages in the past, that is the only thing she can think of. (Ok, but then obviously your DHs vasectomy was a waste if you conceived not once, but twice so soon.)

Then she went on about how doctors won't even see her because they don't have insurance, they can't afford a $500 sonogram, etc.

She said that her friends down in FL (where she lives) have all felt the baby move around and see her round belly.

She even asked me who do I think I am as her "little brother's wife" to call her stubborn! (I never said SHE was stubborn. I said "You can either choose to be stubborn and ignore this e-mail or you can choose to reply and set the record straight.") But glad to know I am just her "little brother's wife" and not her SIL!

But back to the subject, I think she is NUTS and has problems. She also said how she is under a lot of stress with other things and that she is tired of everyone breathing down her neck asking questions. Well, um, we are in Feb. 2011 now and want to know why you're like 13 months PG!

Honestly, this whole PG story is getting old. I guess she is PG but when the kid gets here, the kid gets here.

But now I have a question:

For a miscarriage, how far a long can you be to miscarry but not need a D&C or any sort of procedure? And when you miscarry, you bleed, right? This girl (she's 32) is so out of touch with her body!

Message edited 2/18/2011 11:52:42 AM.

Re: SIL story - The "Grandchildren" thread reminded me

This story is REALLY weird. I don't even know what to say! Very bizarre.

Re: SIL story - The "Grandchildren" thread reminded me

So per the dates younlisted, she would be like 13 months pg?

Re: SIL story - The "Grandchildren" thread reminded me

Umm, wait, I had to read this twice and I think I'm still really confused. So she thought she was pregnant back in June and has done nothing towards it? I got my BFP in early July, and I'm due in 5 weeks...wouldn't that make her about to have the baby now, if she hadn't already?? And you're saying that she thought she was 6 months in October? So she should have a 1 or 2 month old already, right?

Or did I totally mis-understand this?

Re: SIL story - The "Grandchildren" thread reminded me

Re: SIL story - The "Grandchildren" thread reminded me

This sound really strange and very very sad, is it possible that she's mentally ill?

Re: SIL story - The "Grandchildren" thread reminded me

im so confused...she went to the dr and the dr said shes not pregnant etc...and she just thinks she is. I really think she may need mental help, i feel sorry for her...

Re: SIL story - The "Grandchildren" thread reminded me

You ladies read that correctly, yes. According to her calculations from June, she would be like 13 months pregnant now.

Just say she was only 17 weeks in June when she started "feeling the baby". That would still put her at 53 weeks pregnant today. Something is not adding up.

We really do think she's "out there" mentally.

I know sonos are expensive but she really needs to find out what is going on inside. This is her body and child(ren?). I mean, for all she knows she could be listening to her own insides on the doppler and it can be a tumor or something. But she supposedly feels kicks and stuff.

She lives in Florida, doesn't have a good relationship with MIL and I guess somewhat a little better with FIL. DH was texting with her the other night and there was no mention.

To be honest, I wonder if she gave birth and just didn't tell anyone yet. She deleted her FB account which had "preggo" pics on there. Unless too many people were asking and she's embarrassed because even she doesn't know what's going on.

I am due in July so now these grandkids are going to be just a few months apart. Or as FIL puts it, I will be giving birth first.

ETA: I also keep thinking about all the special tests there are these days. I've already had the Down's Syndrome and Spina Bifida tests and some other bloodwork. It's sad that she hasn't had the proper care. I just hope everything is ok

And if she did give birth already, I don't think I will ever speak to her again. I've never even met her but that is some b@lls if true.

Message edited 2/14/2011 6:51:25 PM.

Re: SIL story - The "Grandchildren" thread reminded me

This is the most bizarre story I have ever heard! I think she may have some issues. I don't think she was ever pregnant, honestly.

Re: SIL story - The "Grandchildren" thread reminded me

This might be one of the weirdest stories I've ever heard.

Sounds to me like she might never have been pregnant to begin with, and she needs mental services.

Re: SIL story - The "Grandchildren" thread reminded me

Very sad indeed! If the Dr's told her she wasn't pregnant...AND he DH has had a vasectomy, I doubt she is/was pregnant. I think there is a medical/mental condition known as "hysterical pregnancy" where the woman and her body are convinced she is pregnant,and she would have all the symtoms, just no baby.

Has anyone talked to her husband about this?

Hopefully,if she is actually pregnant, everything will workout ok for her and her family.

Re: SIL story - The "Grandchildren" thread reminded me

wow. I have never heard something like THIS before. She definitely sounds like she has some serious issues. I hope baby is ok. I could never imagine not getting ANY care during pregnancy.

Re: SIL story - The "Grandchildren" thread reminded me

I am going to try to get DH to find out more info. She is usually honest with him and wouldn't tell me everything.

No one talks to her husband.

I'm just as confused as all of you.

What confuses me even more though is that we saw pics from FILs visit with her from October and she looked VERY pregnant. Like, about to pop any day type of pregnant.

I know a lot of people have irregular cycles and whatnot so maybe it's hard for her to remember when her LMP was, but something is definitely going on.

I will mention that disorder "hysterical pregnancy" to DH and see what he thinks.

I will try to have an update (hopefully with good news). I am anxious to know what's going on with her.

Re: SIL story - The "Grandchildren" thread reminded me

I have no words....

Just sheer confusion!!

Re: SIL story - The "Grandchildren" thread reminded me

Wait....so she is or isn't pregnant? You said she went to a few doctors who all insisted she wasn't pregnant, right?

Re: SIL story - The "Grandchildren" thread reminded me

Posted by MrsKS



I have no words....

Just sheer confusion!!

Re: SIL story - The "Grandchildren" thread reminded me

this is totally freaking me out!
i am inclined to think she's mentally ill also, and really needs some help.

Re: SIL story - The "Grandchildren" thread reminded me

http://www.webmd.com/baby/guide/false-pregnancy-pseudocyesis

This is what webmd has to say about it...

Re: SIL story - The "Grandchildren" thread reminded me

This is the strangest story I have ever heard... And how her dh doesn't think it's weird is even stranger!

Re: SIL story - The "Grandchildren" thread reminded me

Re: SIL story - UPDATED - she replied to me

BUMP for update!

Re: SIL story - UPDATED - she replied to me

The further along in weeks you are, the stronger the chances of having a D&C bc the baby is bigger and its excruciating to go through naturally.

Your SIL is off the wall, even without insurance you can go to any city/state health department and they would do a sono to calculate an EDD since she supposedly conceived after her m/c. Sounds like she needs mental help though, that's pretty sad.

Re: SIL story - UPDATED - she replied to me

I think it's pretty obvious that talking to your SIL isn't going to work. Something is going on, whether it's an emotional or clinically mental issue. Maybe it's time for an intervention with SIL's husband...one that's gentle but to the point!

Re: SIL story - UPDATED - she replied to me

Re: SIL story - UPDATED - she replied to me

Scary! If I ddn't know better, I'd think we'd be hearing about this chick trying to steal a baby sometime in the near future to cover up her story.