SAHM to Working Mom--Getting Tough

For 2.5 years I was a SAHM. Loved it the first 2 years or so, but around DSs 2nd bday, I got very restless and really wanted to have more to do outside of the house that did not concern DS. Hence, it seemed time to go back to work.

I went back to work FT in July. Initially, I loved the work, though missed DS, but overall it seemed right. I really like working again, pursuing my career again. But things have been piling up. Work we really need to do on the house keeps getting postponed, no time. Housework rarely gets done--we had a cleaning woman who we thought stole from us, so we've been slow to start this again. Bills have been very close to late a few times, things get lost, and DH and I are both exhausted and snappy--at each other and DS. It just seems like too much. DH is gone from about 6:30-7:30 most days. I get home around 6:30 pm, but most of the evening gets eaten up quickly.

So I like working, but I feel like my personal life suffers and so does DHs and DSs in a sense. Though I guess you could argue DS benefits from the extra money coming into the house.

I don't want to be a SAHM again, but there aren't many PT jobs in my field that are worthwhile until DS is in school, so I really don't know what to do. I should add, my current job is very close to home and does not come up often. If I left it, it would probably take me years to come back to this level.

Guess I need to vent, and I'm curious to hear how others have dealt with this transition. Probably doesn't help that I've been home with a sick child (and sick Mommy) all week!

Re: SAHM to Working Mom--Getting Tough

Just wanted to send you hugssssss

are the bills piling up because they aren't getting paid on time or because of financial issues?

if the latter, than I wouldn't be running to go PT unless you are in a field that will pay you a FT salary for PT work..

I don't know what line of work you are in but perhaps you need to get a little more organized (please don't take offense to that).. I know that if it weren't for my job, I wouldn't be able to get ANY personal things done.. sounds crazy but I do everything here.. make my calls, run whatever errands I can't do with kids, pay bills, go to the bank,(go onto LIF lol) basically anything personal.. that I wouldn't be able to do at home..

have you tried to figure out how to prioritize your workload with your stuff needed to be done at home so you can get it all done and feel like things are getting accomplished? I would also go and get yourself another cleaning woman if you can swing it.. that's the last thing you want to be doing after a long day/week of work and you and your DH owe it to yourselvse..

I wish you all the best.. I apologize if my answer was all over the place..

Message edited 2/11/2011 4:27:52 PM.

Re: SAHM to Working Mom--Getting Tough

I agree that organization is key. Decide who is going to pay the bills, and set aside one day (or night?) to do it. I do housecleaning on the weekends mostly, but do laundry throughout the week. DH may be used to you handling the house stuff, but he'll have to step up if you're working now! My DH pays all the bills online at work during lunch.

When do you leave for work in the AM? I normally work 7-3, but if I go in at 9 for a meeting, I always do laundry or run the dishwasher first.

I think you just need to get into more of a scheduled routine. It's always hectic, but it's doable.

Message edited 2/11/2011 4:19:31 PM.

Re: SAHM to Working Mom--Getting Tough

Posted by bicosi

Just wanted to send you hugssssss
I know that if it weren't for my job, I wouldn't be able to get ANY personal things done.. sounds crazy but I do everything here.. make my calls, run whatever errands I can't do with kids, pay bills, go to the bank,(go onto LIF lol) basically anything personal.. that I wouldn't be able to do at home..

Re: SAHM to Working Mom--Getting Tough

Posted by ali120206

Posted by bicosi

Just wanted to send you hugssssss
I know that if it weren't for my job, I wouldn't be able to get ANY personal things done.. sounds crazy but I do everything here.. make my calls, run whatever errands I can't do with kids, pay bills, go to the bank,(go onto LIF lol) basically anything personal.. that I wouldn't be able to do at home..

Same here - I spend any downtime and my lunch hour doing home related things.

We write down all of our bills on a schedule to make sure that we don't miss any.

I find though that the busier I am, the more organized I am because I have to be.

I put cleaning to the bottom of my list - I do what needs to be done and luckily, DH does a lot. Luckily, I get one work from home day so I do laundry then and when DS goes to bed (although it may take me awhile to put it away).

Good luck! It is exhausting trying to balance home and work life.

Re: SAHM to Working Mom--Getting Tough

Thanks for all the suggestions and words of encouragement!

The bills aren't getting paid because we are too disorganized. I used to do the bulk of them--DH pays a few, but most fell to me. Since he's not so great with housework, I think he should take them over. I'll talk to him.

Thinking over my work situation, the last month or more has been nuts. Our parking lot is greatly diminished from the snow--I work for an agency that serves the public. So I get a space in the morning, but I don't dare leave at lunch to run errands. Nowhere to walk either--too icy or snow mounds are too high to cross safely. That may change soon--but this accounts for some of my back-up. I also have been down one staff person for three months--the new woman started in mid-January, seems great, but it takes time for a new person to get up to speed. Wednesday, I work late so I usually drop DS off in the AM and do errands for a few hours or clean. But the last month, every Wednesday there has either been a heap of snow to deal with and/or delayed openings/closures at daycare, or this Wed. we have been home sick. So that time was removed. My assistant broke her wrist and has been out the last month--normally, I would hand some things off to her, but can't do it now. My son and I currently have pneumonia, so I've been sick and stuck at home with him all week, yet trying to get work done. So no wonder why I'm stressed and crazy!!!!

But it helped to read all your comments, and realize, "oh yeah, I haven't been doing xyz because of abc". Sometimes when you are in the thick of it, you lose sight of reality! But I do think I need to talk to DH about ways to organize our evenings better, right now it's all pretty haphazard.

Re: SAHM to Working Mom--Getting Tough

Re: SAHM to Working Mom--Getting Tough

sit down with your DH and write out all of your bills and their due dates..split who gets one and make sure to write it down in yours checking registers.. get a yahoo account for both of you and share a calendar and make sure to put every important date, bill due date, dr. app, etc., in there. .if you're going to do the housework, split it and delegate the responsibilites to your DH..

It seems like alot has been going on and it's a chain reaction.. try and take it easy and do what you CAN! you are not a miracleworker..

Re: SAHM to Working Mom--Getting Tough

I'm 100% in the same boat as you.

Did the SAHM mom thing for awhile...not for me. I wanted to get back into the classroom.

So, I started back in August, when DS was just 7 weeks old. It's been really difficult. Being a teacher is difficult work, on top of the fact that I'm now in a high-need school.

I've often thought about trying to find a p/t teaching position, so that I'm still working in the field, but not as stressed as we are now.

I just wanted to give you because I totally know where you are coming from. We are SOOO tired. It's really tough. But in the long run, I think having me working is going to be a good thing.