What would you do....(long)

So my MIL apparently doesnt know how to use a gift registry and bought us our stroller - however someone had already bought the stroller - my grandma. It clearly states that the stroller has been purchased off the registry, but MIL went ahead and purchased it again.

Well, my grandma was going to give me the actual gift at the shower, while MIL had it shipped to our house. So even though my grandma bought the stroller first, we received it from my MIL first.

Let me just note that this is not the first time my MIL screws things up like this....

Anyway, I told my grandma that I was just going to return her stroller and use the credit towards something else on the registry since we already have MIL's stroller in our possession. Well my grandma got upset bc she states that she bought the stroller first and did everything right as far as the registry goes.

DH doesnt want me to return his mothers stroller bc she will get upset. We do not need two strollers! I feel very strongly that MIL's should go back bc she doesnt know how to follow directions! AND my grandma does WAY more for us than MIL ever did/does in general.

DH thinks I am acting ungrateful and spoiled - which arent my intentions. I just feel like there is always drama when it comes to his mother and I am sick of it...

Re: What would you do....(long)

you said it yourself- you are going to return one stroller. If I were you, tell each person what they want to hear to keep the peace. I feel like it's not worth your energy and stress to be upset about something like this. I understand your frustration, but it's just not worth the argument.

Re: What would you do....(long)

Re: What would you do....(long)

You aren't being ungrateful or spoiled...it's just not necessary to have two strollers. Keeping one just to make your MIL happy is silly.

Are they the same exact stroller?

Re: What would you do....(long)

You are definitely not being ungrateful or spoiled. Just return one and get something else that you need/want. What are you going to do with two of the same stroller? If your grandmother and MIL aren't ever really together, I would do like PP said, and just tell each that you returned the other's. In the long run, what does it matter whose you returned as long as LO gets everything they need?

Re: What would you do....(long)

Re: What would you do....(long)

Re: What would you do....(long)

grandma trumps mil

Re: What would you do....(long)

Posted by speakthetruth

grandma trumps mil

Re: What would you do....(long)

Are they not the same stroller ?

Why not just have the shower and let your grandma give you the stroller at the party, so everyone sees that she got it for you? It's not like you have to bring the one that MIL gave you to the shower to show off.

Does your MIL know about grandma buying the stroller? Could you just pretend that you didn't know? Then later on, you just return one of them and that's it.

Is this not a possible scenario?

Re: What would you do....(long)

Re: What would you do....(long)

wait, is it the same exact stroller that you had put on your registry? Or did your MIL get you one she picked out herself??? Cause if it's he same one, then I don't see the issue - neither one will know which one you returned. So I say, return MIL's right now and get yourself something else you need. If they ask, say you returned the OTHER one. lol.

If they ARE different, I would go with the one you like best (which would probably be grandma's since it's off your registry). Feelings be damned. It's not right to return grandma's when she bought it first. MIL is the one who double-gifted.

ETA - I just saw your post above about opening the gift at your shower and MIL being upset. Yes, I would tell MIL ahead of time that you appreciate the gift, but since your Grandma had already gotten it for you, you're going to exchange it for something else. Simple as that. It would be silly to have hurt feelings over it.

Message edited 1/29/2011 1:29:40 PM.

Re: What would you do....(long)

Posted by speakthetruth

grandma trumps mil

Re: What would you do....(long)

I would tell MIL that you are returning her stroller and putting the credit towards your crib set. Crib sets last longer than strollers.

Re: What would you do....(long)

OK tell grandma that you are keeping her stroller.

return the stroller you just received and use it as credit towards something else.

I mean it really doesn't matter who's stroller you actually return, just return one and replace it with something else on the registry.

I don't see why this has to be an issue. they can both think you kept their stroller.
I mean you can even get both strollers.... swap them around and return one without even knowing who's stroller it is.

I wouldn't even tell them anything about returning either stroller. I'd just go and return one and replace with new gift. Keep em all happy.

There shouldn't be any fighting over this.

ETA: I saw your post. Just talk to your MIL. Tell her you are going to be opening the same stroller from your grandmother at the shower and that you are returning one of them for credit for a crib or something. YOu don't even have to say, I'm going to return yours... just say one of the 2 strollers I received.

Message edited 1/29/2011 7:01:23 PM.

Re: What would you do....(long)

Re: What would you do....(long)

Thanks ladies - I think all the pregnancy hormones are getting the best of me!

Re: What would you do....(long)

How did your MIL even know what stroller you wanted if she doesn't know how to use a registry?? Is it possible that she saw it was purchased, but bought it for you anyway b/c it was what she wanted to get you? Either way, I think that if you are closer with your grandma, you should explain to her how much you appreciate all she does for you, but in order to keep the peace with your DH, you have to return her gift...just explain that your LO will still have the stroller but also other things needed as well that you can get w/ the credit from the stroller...what else can you do...you can't keep two strollers.

I know how frustrating it is to argue w/ DH about inlaws...