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BeachMom
Love my 4 kiddos!
Member since 11/08 8346 total posts
Name:
Kristie
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With all of these SAHM posts...i have a question
Would you consider yourself a SAHM if every day you were home with your DC('s) you either had your mom over to help or you were at her house?
I'm having issues with my SIL complaining how hard it is to be a SAHM and complaining about the 1 day a week that my MIL watches our children, how hard it is.
ETA:
Of course she is a SAHM, i guess i phrased it wrong.
But do you really consider yourself having all of the work and rewards from being a SAHM if you are constantly pawning your kids off on your mother?
I have a great deal of respect for SAHM and wish we could afford for me to be one. That being said, i think that you can't complain how hard it is to be a SAHM when you always have help there. there are many SAHM's that would love for a break for a day, and some help, but every day.
Message edited 9/5/2010 10:02:56 AM.
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Posted 9/5/10 9:55 AM  |
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InShock
life is good
Member since 10/06 9258 total posts
Name:
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Re: With all of these SAHM posts...i have a question
Of course she's a SAHM. Just because she has help doesn't change that.
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| Posted 9/5/10 9:57 AM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: With all of these SAHM posts...i have a question
Posted by InShock
Of course she's a SAHM. Just because she has help doesn't change that.
I agree. Basically I would consider it any mom who does not have a paying job (though you could still be a SAHM and watch other kids in your home or something...).
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| Posted 9/5/10 10:03 AM |
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nov04libride
big brother <3
Member since 5/05 14672 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: With all of these SAHM posts...i have a question
Posted by BeachMom
ETA:
Of course she is a SAHM, i guess i phrased it wrong.
But do you really consider yourself having all of the work and rewards from being a SAHM if you are constantly pawning your kids off on your mother?
I have a great deal of respect for SAHM and wish we could afford for me to be one. That being said, i think that you can't complain how hard it is to be a SAHM when you always have help there. there are many SAHM's that would love for a break for a day, and some help, but every day.
I see what you're saying, but really, it's the same for FT working moms who pawn their kids off on other people for the weekend. Some people use (and sometimes take advantage) of the kindness of others, esp. family who are eager or willing to help out.
In this case, I think your MIL would need to stand up and say no if it bothers her.
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| Posted 9/5/10 10:05 AM |
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maybesoon
LIF Adult
Member since 9/09 5981 total posts
Name:
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Re: With all of these SAHM posts...i have a question
of course she is a SAHM! So am I , my inlaws have my kids once a week as well. I always complain about how hard it is, But I also know how lucky I am to have the help. my inlaws LOVE my DS's and want alone time with them . and during the summer I go to my mom's house every friday bc she has a pool and wants to see the boys.
and I hate to say it, but you sound a little envious. I don't think "Pawning off" is a good way to put it
Message edited 9/5/2010 3:00:22 PM.
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| Posted 9/5/10 2:59 PM |
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MrsRbk
<3 <3 <3 <3
Member since 1/06 19197 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: With all of these SAHM posts...i have a question
I'm having issues with my SIL complaining how hard it is to be a SAHM and complaining about the 1 day a week that my MIL watches our children, how hard it is.
But do you really consider yourself having all of the work and rewards from being a SAHM if you are constantly pawning your kids off on your mother?
.
1 day a week hardly seems like she is "constantly" pawing her kids off.....
I'm a SAHM, and my MIL comes 1 day a week to help out. I hardly see that as pawing off. It's not like, she comes and I go out shopping, getting mani/pedi's or doing anything of leisure. I'm usually catching up on cleaning, grocery shopping without a toddler having a meltdown, or cooking a few meals for the week. In between, I still play with DD even though my MIL is here helping.
ETA: So, just curious... just because someone is a SAHM, does that mean they are not entitled to have someone give them a break or help during the week?
Message edited 9/5/2010 3:09:15 PM.
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| Posted 9/5/10 3:08 PM |
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nicrae
He's here!
Member since 12/06 9289 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: With all of these SAHM posts...i have a question
I think we are reading this wrong....I think her SIL is mad about the one day she doesn't have her mother's help because the OP's kids are with the MIL???
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| Posted 9/5/10 3:13 PM |
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katiebug
I'll love you for always
Member since 2/08 4624 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: With all of these SAHM posts...i have a question
Posted by MrsRbk
ETA: So, just curious... just because someone is a SAHM, does that mean they are not entitled to have someone give them a break or help during the week?
This is what I don't get. Even if someone is dropping their kids off to get a Mani/pedi, I think a mom deserves it! It seems like people only think that working mom deserve the pampering.
I have no help, at all, but my mom is coming to visit in a few days while my DH is on a business trip. I can't wait to "pawn off" DS for a girls night out! And a mani/pedi!
This is nothing against the OP, but I am getting really tired of people seeing others as Pawning their children off when they need a break.
Message edited 9/5/2010 4:18:26 PM.
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| Posted 9/5/10 4:15 PM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17795 total posts
Name:
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Re: With all of these SAHM posts...i have a question
Posted by nicrae
I think we are reading this wrong....I think her SIL is mad about the one day she doesn't have her mother's help because the OP's kids are with the MIL???
I thought so too - I read it as SIL gets her mom 4 days a week and is mad it's not 5.
I am not a SAHM but, my parents usually come and spend a day with me on the weekends to visit and I appreciate it - it's nice to have time to do things.
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| Posted 9/5/10 8:32 PM |
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BeachMom
Love my 4 kiddos!
Member since 11/08 8346 total posts
Name:
Kristie
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Re: With all of these SAHM posts...i have a question
Posted by MrsRbk
I'm having issues with my SIL complaining how hard it is to be a SAHM and complaining about the 1 day a week that my MIL watches our children, how hard it is.
But do you really consider yourself having all of the work and rewards from being a SAHM if you are constantly pawning your kids off on your mother?
.
1 day a week hardly seems like she is "constantly" pawing her kids off.....
I'm a SAHM, and my MIL comes 1 day a week to help out. I hardly see that as pawing off. It's not like, she comes and I go out shopping, getting mani/pedi's or doing anything of leisure. I'm usually catching up on cleaning, grocery shopping without a toddler having a meltdown, or cooking a few meals for the week. In between, I still play with DD even though my MIL is here helping.
ETA: So, just curious... just because someone is a SAHM, does that mean they are not entitled to have someone give them a break or help during the week?
In no way would i say that SAHM's are not entitled to having help or giving them a break. 1,2, 3 days a week thats fine. But can you really complain about how much work it is being a SAHM when you are never home alone with your kid. Seriously, my SIL is at home with her DS for maybe 30 minutes in a day and complains about how much work she does being a SAHM and that she can't do anything.
For my SIL it is not a 1 day a week thing. It is a 7 day a week thing and if my MIL is not at her house she shows up there at 8 am kid in tow so she has someone to watch him as she relaxes.
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| Posted 9/5/10 8:33 PM |
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BeachMom
Love my 4 kiddos!
Member since 11/08 8346 total posts
Name:
Kristie
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Re: With all of these SAHM posts...i have a question
Posted by nicrae
I think we are reading this wrong....I think her SIL is mad about the one day she doesn't have her mother's help because the OP's kids are with the MIL???
Exactly! Thanks for putting into simple words what i couldnt!
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| Posted 9/5/10 8:35 PM |
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Re: With all of these SAHM posts...i have a question
My next door neighbor is a SAHM and everyother day she has her parents come over. I see her a SAHM with company and I'm sure they help her in many ways. They stay with the kids if she has to run an errand. I think it's so cute to see Grandpa talking his grandaughter for walks. She's stil a SAHM to me, just a really lucky SAHM!
My mom works full time and the day she retires I'm getting a job!
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| Posted 9/5/10 9:32 PM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: With all of these SAHM posts...i have a question
Clearly your SIL is taking advantage of your in laws if she just sits around and relaxes all day while they care for her children, however, even if she went to her parents' house every, single day just for company and someone to talk to, so what? I mean, do you KNOW that she just sits around and lounges all day long? And if she does, your inlaws are partially to blame for allowing it.
But I STILL don't understand why people think a good mom is a mom who doesn't need help. It's mind boggling to me.
I lean on people at work when I need help getting something done or if I'm planning an event, so why shouldn't a SAHM lean on someone if need be? A SAHM is on duty all day, all night, every, single day. Why shouldn't she have some help? You bet your azz if my job wanted me available around the clock all year long I'd be telling them to get lost, so the fact that SAHMs do exactly that makes them more worthy of the help, IMO, than me, who gets to go to work and be able to sit and relax with a cup of coffee for 20 minutes, eat lunch by myself, browse the internet, or use the bathroom without a small mini me tagging along.
Sorry for the rant, but I just do not understand this mentality that if you don't do it alone, you're less of a mother.
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| Posted 9/5/10 9:50 PM |
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TripletMom
My crazy Trio
Member since 3/09 2246 total posts
Name:
Paula
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Re: With all of these SAHM posts...i have a question
Posted by BeachMom
That being said, i think that you can't complain how hard it is to be a SAHM when you always have help there. there are many SAHM's that would love for a break for a day, and some help, but every day.
I am SAHM to 13 month old triplets and even though my Mom lives with me and helps me out during feeding times if she is home I think I have EVERY right to complain on how hard some days are to be a SAHM.... I would love to be back at work FT bc a bad day at work is still easier than being home with 3 kids... IMO. Yes I am glad I can be home with them but everyone needs a break bc being a SAHM is a dammmm tough job!!!!!!!!
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| Posted 9/5/10 10:15 PM |
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Kmarie36
LIF Adult
Member since 9/10 1449 total posts
Name:
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Re: With all of these SAHM posts...i have a question
Posted by TripletMom
Posted by BeachMom
That being said, i think that you can't complain how hard it is to be a SAHM when you always have help there. there are many SAHM's that would love for a break for a day, and some help, but every day.
I am SAHM to 13 month old triplets and even though my Mom lives with me and helps me out during feeding times if she is home I think I have EVERY right to complain on how hard some days are to be a SAHM.... I would love to be back at work FT bc a bad day at work is still easier than being home with 3 kids... IMO. Yes I am glad I can be home with them but everyone needs a break bc being a SAHM is a dammmm tough job!!!!!!!!
VERY well said!!!
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| Posted 9/6/10 8:57 PM |
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youngmama
LIF Adolescent
Member since 4/06 530 total posts
Name:
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Re: With all of these SAHM posts...i have a question
I am very blessed to have my mom and his dad to help me during the week. I only have One DD, so I don't need them to come over much, but it's still nice to have their company. I have people over all the time during the day, my sister, his sister, aunts uncles. My dd doesn't have any cousins or friends her age yet, she looks forward to seeing everyone.
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| Posted 9/6/10 9:49 PM |
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TripletMom
My crazy Trio
Member since 3/09 2246 total posts
Name:
Paula
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Re: With all of these SAHM posts...i have a question
Posted by Kmarie36
Posted by TripletMom
Posted by BeachMom
That being said, i think that you can't complain how hard it is to be a SAHM when you always have help there. there are many SAHM's that would love for a break for a day, and some help, but every day.
I am SAHM to 13 month old triplets and even though my Mom lives with me and helps me out during feeding times if she is home I think I have EVERY right to complain on how hard some days are to be a SAHM.... I would love to be back at work FT bc a bad day at work is still easier than being home with 3 kids... IMO. Yes I am glad I can be home with them but everyone needs a break bc being a SAHM is a dammmm tough job!!!!!!!!
VERY well said!!!
Thanks 
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| Posted 9/7/10 11:10 AM |
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