How do you explain death to a toddler?

My in-laws' dog passed away this morning.

DD ADORES this doggie. She runs to the dog the second we get to my in-laws' house, cries to see the doggie, etc.

I just don't know how to tell her. I don't want to lie to her and tell her that the dog is away, or at the doggie hospital. Any ideas?

Re: How do you explain death to a toddler?

That God needed a doggie angel in heaven to watch over all the puppies

Re: How do you explain death to a toddler?

I think you should be honest

When miki's fish died, we told her that he was very old and went to heaven

I am not going to lie, it was tough for her and still 2 months later, she talks about "bob"

Re: How do you explain death to a toddler?

My family has always been a straight shooter with Death.

I would basically tell her " the doggy got sick and he died. He's in heaven now". obviously a longer and nicer conversation.

they dont really grasp death. She will probably ask for that dog often. you will have to retell the story.


Morbid, but if you explain death now. When someone dies, they already have a small understanding of it.


My mother died when my nieces & nephews were little. They didnt really get it and often asked for her. We would have to say, " remember she is in heaven now?"

Re: How do you explain death to a toddler?

Now the next question, is how am I not going to cry every time she asks about the dog?

Re: How do you explain death to a toddler?

Be prepared for different reactions. My sisters dog died a couple years ago. The older dd was 5 and said eh I'm not a dog person anyway. I'm a cat person. And then asked if they could get a cat. Then a couple months later asked if they could dig up the dead dog
The younger dd was 3 years old. She cried and cried. She would go to the door calling the dog in and asked about her constantly for the next year. They have a new dog now that they got a year after the first died. The younger dd still will ask about the old one.

Re: How do you explain death to a toddler?

Re: How do you explain death to a toddler?

Thanks Ladies. I definitely think DD is going to have a rough time with this one. This morning when DD woke up, she asked where my DH was, and I told her that he was with Sammie (the dog) because she wasn't feeling good. She gave me a weird look and then started whining for Sammie- and then started whining for DH. I know DD is going to break my heart later when I tell her.

Re: How do you explain death to a toddler?

We had to put Pyxie down recently, and had to address this with G. The kicker for us is we are not religious, and neither one of us wanted to do the "heaven" bit, because we are not ready to have the religion conversation with him.

At any rate, we told him that Pyxie had to go to the Doggie Doctor because she was really sick. We told him that she was not going to get better, and that she could not come home anymore. We also told him not to worry, because she is not hurting, and knows that we love her very much. This was a few weeks ago. For the past couple of days he has asked where PP is (that was her nickname...her full name was the Princess Pyxie Rose), and then remembers that she went to the Doggie Doctor and could not come home.

My only concern with this is that he might equate Dr. with not coming home. So far he has been OK going to the Pediatrician and Dentist, so he is not making the association.


So sorry to hear

Re: How do you explain death to a toddler?

Posted by trnity44

Now the next question, is how am I not going to cry every time she asks about the dog?

Re: How do you explain death to a toddler?

Last year, the family cat of one of my 4 year olds at the school where I work died and he was telling me all about it. He told me that she was sick and that her body stopped working so she had to go to heaven. He told me heaven is a really good place, where she isn't sick anymore and she doesn't hurt and she doesn't throw up anymore. She's just happy there. I spoke to his mom that day and told her how I thought she did such a great job explaining it to him! I'm a big fan of honesty with kids, and I think this was a great way to explain death in a way that a 4 year old could understand.

Re: How do you explain death to a toddler?

Obviously not the same, but my nephews mom passed away suddenly when he was only 5...The grief counselor said (in addition to some other things) , it should be explained to him that "her body stopped working" ..It's abstract enough that they get the point but cannot relate to it 100%, kwim ?

I know that you should never tell a child that the person/animal fell asleep and I am fairly certain that you shouldn't say that they were sick ( because you don't want your child to fear that if he/she or the parents become sick that they will pass away)

I'm sorry

Re: How do you explain death to a toddler?

Posted by Bops

Obviously not the same, but my nephews mom passed away suddenly when he was only 5...The grief counselor said (in addition to some other things) , it should be explained to him that "her body stopped working" ..It's abstract enough that they get the point but cannot relate to it 100%, kwim ?

I know that you should never tell a child that the person/animal fell asleep and I am fairly certain that you shouldn't say that they were sick ( because you don't want your child to fear that if he/she or the parents become sick that they will pass away)

I'm sorry

Re: How do you explain death to a toddler?

Posted by SweetCin

Posted by Bops

Obviously not the same, but my nephews mom passed away suddenly when he was only 5...The grief counselor said (in addition to some other things) , it should be explained to him that "her body stopped working" ..It's abstract enough that they get the point but cannot relate to it 100%, kwim ?

I know that you should never tell a child that the person/animal fell asleep and I am fairly certain that you shouldn't say that they were sick ( because you don't want your child to fear that if he/she or the parents become sick that they will pass away)

I'm sorry

I was going to say the same about the sick/sleep thing.

I like the angel/heaven idea.

I was getting prepared for this same convo w/ my 3 year old DD as my parents' 11 year old dog was not doing so great w/ the heat...thankfully she rebounded. But she does everything for this dog...everything is "CoCo"...can she come to my bday party; buy a toy for Co Co (Dakota); runs for her at their house; asking what's she's doing on the phone. Not going to be fun.

Re: How do you explain death to a toddler?

Posted by Bops

Obviously not the same, but my nephews mom passed away suddenly when he was only 5...The grief counselor said (in addition to some other things) , it should be explained to him that "her body stopped working" ..It's abstract enough that they get the point but cannot relate to it 100%, kwim ?

I know that you should never tell a child that the person/animal fell asleep and I am fairly certain that you shouldn't say that they were sick ( because you don't want your child to fear that if he/she or the parents become sick that they will pass away)

I'm sorry

Re: How do you explain death to a toddler?

We told DS that sometimes things on earth become angels and go to heaven in the clouds. You cant see them anymore bc they are up so high but they can still see you. They become an angel in the sky and have a new job in heaven. Their new job is to watch over you and take care of and protect you, so even though you cant see them, they are always with you.

We didnt have to explain an actual death to him, he asked me why I didnt have a Papa too and I told him my Papa was in heaven and the above explanation of said heaven ensued.

Message edited 7/10/2010 9:36:30 AM.