Re: If you were an only child or are only having one?

We are done -- more because of age and difficulty conceiving besides.

I take Ale to lots of places, we do all kids of activities, and I try to be sure she spends time with other children of different ages. I do get sad when I see her playing in the yard alonse sometimes, but other times I think she is just as happy not to have to share us, KWIM??

ETA - DH and I are both the last of 6, but all DD's cousins are much older. However, even haven grown up in large families ourselves, we see nothing wrong with Ale being an only child!

Message edited 6/30/2010 8:41:23 PM.

Re: If you were an only child or are only having one?

I am an only child and am very close with all of my cousins...they are like siblings to me. I love being an only, and never knew anything else!

I also have to agree - there is no guarantee that having siblings means that they will be close. I know plenty of people who are not close with their siblings.

If this is how you are happy with your family then that is all that matters!

Message edited 6/30/2010 8:52:46 PM.

Re: If you were an only child or are only having one?

I'm an only child and had no cousins. Life was kind of lonely for me growing up, but at the same time, I think it helped me relate to adults better. I'm sure I broke my mom's heart on more than one occasion as a little kid, begging for a little brother or sister (my mom couldn't have anymore kids after me)

With cousins close in age and nearby, your DS will have more family closeness. Plus like someone said there is no guarantee that a sibling will be someone you're close with.

Re: If you were an only child or are only having one?

He's got Joey!!

& I'll get to spoil him rotten then

Re: If you were an only child or are only having one?

I agree with Ophelia--you will probably have guilt one way of the other, and as some others have pointed out, a sibling is no guarantee of a friend or someone to help out with things when DC are older. My DH isn't close to his sister, never was.

My sister and I are 9 years apart, and I was an only child that time, and yes I did wish for a sister sometimes, but I also think kids today have so many activities, I doubt they will be bored for long. Plus, I think if you have a friend or cousin come over for holidays and vacations as DC gets older, it should help.

We are done with our one child for a variety of reasons, mostly medical and age, and it took time to accept this. Yes, I think DS will be lonely at times, but we'll do the best we can to have him around other kids a lot, and overall, I think it's better for all of us if we only have one child. Happy parents make for happy children, and if you really think more than one is not for you, I wouldn't push for it just for a sibling.

But if you do decide on more children, go for it, and I hope you have a great deal of happiness!

Re: If you were an only child or are only having one?

I think you just have to listen to your heart here and not just the guilt. Siblings are not always a blessing - I have one older brother and we do not get along at all. We had fun as kids sure, but we are very different people, and but for my desire for my DD and his DS to be family to each other, we would not speak, ever. My brother has done some pretty unforgivable things, but my strong feeling has always been that our children should not suffer for that, esp. his son. DH's siblings will probably give my DD several cousins but my SIL's family is done and her sister's kids are much older than his son so that's tough on my nephew. All this being said, I'm not down on siblings either - DH and I have always wanted several children - we may just end up with 4, but we only have one now so we'll see.

Re: If you were an only child or are only having one?

I loved being an only child. There were a few times where I thought it would be fun to have a sibling, but for the most part I was very happy.

Re: If you were an only child or are only having one?

I go back and forth about this.

I grew up an only child. I had many cousins my age that I grew up with & always did lots of sports/activities, had great vacations, got whatever I wanted/needed etc. so as a child I was fine with being the only one. my parents divorced when i was 3 so i never asked for a sibling (they didnt remarry til i was in college).

it's now...as an adult...that I think about it more. It would have been nice to have a sister to be my moh, a sister (or brother to be a godparent for our child, and most importantly a sibling to be there for when my parents are older (they are divorced & i worry about taking care of them or dealing w/loss). i have close friends. so while they are awesome & their for me just like a sibling....its not the same b/c in the end they have their families.

i dunno if we will have another. it will depend on where we are job/money-wise in a year or few years.

Re: If you were an only child or are only having one?

DH and I are also on the fence about another. We each grew up with a sibling but the age differences were five years for me and 7 1/2 for him (both of us being the younger sibling, each with older brothers).

Right now DD is 3 1/2 and we think we are going to just stop using protection but not actively chart and try to get pg. If it happens it was meant to be and if not, oh well.

I kind of think the age difference we are heading towards is similar to our families and I think it will be ideal for being able to afford more financially and give enough to a second child. I never felt cheated of my parents time as a result of the spacing.

It is still hard to imagine another child and even fathoming a relationship with another as close as with DD.

Re: If you were an only child or are only having one?

wow, thanks for all the input everyone. A lot to think about and a lot of good points on both sides. Thanks!

Re: If you were an only child or are only having one?

I'm only having one child for several reasons. #1, I'm 37 and don't really feel like putting my body through this again. #2 We can't afford daycare for 2 children and we definitely can't afford for me to be a SAHM.

I know my DS won't be lonely b/c he'll have friends in daycare for the next 5 yrs. After that, he'll be involved with school aged friends in as many activities as he chooses. There are also 3 boys within a month of his age within 1 block of our house, so he has built in neighborhood friends. AND I'm making so many new mommy friends that I know will be DS's friends (and mine) for years to come! I can't see how he'll be lonely.

DS has and will always have our undivided love and attention. I'm so happy that we have him and don't want to muddy the waters with another child. If I was younger, I'd consider another one in a few years, but since age isn't on my side, one it is!