Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?

Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?

Nothing is wrong with it except for old fashioned DEBT. Although I know DS will have to get financial assistance unless we win the lottery (tuitions are supposed to rise dramaticly by the time DS is ready for college), however, as someone with significant debt from student loans, I can honestly say that I do not believe that this is how someone should start out their lives (paying back loans). This is money better spent on a home or something like that. I know that I took out these loans to better my life and the life of my family, but in all honesty most people have more debt to pay then just their loans and it can get really stressful. The first time I opened my student loan bill I cried. I don't want DS to have that. I want him to be able to save and enjoy the fruits of his labor...not work to pay back the government. I personally had no money saved for my education. While it's great that I worked and got it all myself, I am stressed out about how I will pay these back and still save and move forward. The hard work, good grades, degree, the scholarships I was awarded, and my license is how I feel invested in my education, not the money I put into it. I expect DS will work while he is in school and maybe take out a loan or 2, for necessity, not by choice.


ETA: Although I agree about saving for retirement, I will not likely be able to retire until very late in life (if at all) BECAUSE of student loan debt.

Message edited 1/6/2010 4:07:23 PM.

Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?

I have already started saving for D and future children's college. I think it is very important, as my parents did it for me and I will pay it forward for my kids.

Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?

Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?

Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?

We will have *some* money set aside for our DD's education.

However, it is impossible to think that we can afford to pay for them. They will have to contribute, take out loans, financial aid, etc etc.

We feel saving for retirement is MUCH more important. I will not put the burden of having my children take care of me or my DH if something, god forbid happens to us.

I saw what it did to my parents when my Grandfather got sick and they had to take care of him. There HAS to be some sort of savings in our case for things of that nature.

What if our house burns down? What if one of us gets sick? I will not put that burden or that responsibility on my children. There has to be money somewhere for that. There are SO many "what-ifs" that I want to be prepared.

I'm certainly not able to apply for financial aid or take out loans when we're "retired".

You're always supposed to "pay yourself 1st" before anything - #1 rule of thumb when owning your own business.

Message edited 1/6/2010 4:08:36 PM.

Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?

To us it is more important to save for our retirement and for our first home now. When the time comes for my son to go to college, we will find a way to help him finance it. Maybe we'll take out a loan under the house, whatever. We will help him as much as possible so that HE is not stuck with huge loans after he graduates school. His savings now (we have a traditional savings account and a Mutual Fund for him) is geared towards setting him up in his own place (condo, house, whatever) after he graduates college, with a nice car, and whatever else he wants to do with his money after he gets it.

ETA: I just wanted to add that my sis is in CUNY now and the tuition keeps on going up every semester...its ridiculous...NYU-one semester...almost $20K...one semester! Not including books...nothing!

Message edited 1/6/2010 4:15:38 PM.

Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?

I will do what I can to help my children fund their educations because the opportunity was never afforded to me.

However, I do not plan on giving them a free ride. I think it is important that they learn responsibility and the value of money.

I know parents who saved enough to send their children to a state school but the child insists on going to private. They dip into other savings to give the child their dream of another school. I can't see myself ever doing this. I think they are doing the child a huge disservice. They would have gotten a great education at the state school and learned that they aren't always entitled to what they want. If they really want to go to the other school they need to take out their own student loans.

Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?

My parents paid what they could towards my education, but I selected to go to a private school on half scholarship and didn't leave myself with a ton of debt. My DH had no loans as he went to NCC and then SUNY and his parents agreed to pay for his education because he chose that route.

I think we both learned the value of hard work (both worked jobs throughout college) although I think he took more for granted than I did knowing that he had everything paid for. For our children I hope to pay as much as I can, but I also hope to guide them into making smart choices about their educations (SUNY vs. private, scholarships vs. a "better" school). Both DH and I are fortunate that we have pension jobs as well as strong 403Bs that we don't plan on decreasing. I will be opening up a 529 for DD soon, but plan on investing the majority of her money in mutual funds/CDs with the hopes that she won't need a huge 529 because of scholarships. I WILL NOT sacrifice our financial future in order to pay completely for DD's education, but I am confident that we'll be able to subsidize the majority of it at that point (planning already to have mortgage and my graduate loans paid off before she goes to college).

Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?

Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?

We will try to pay the equivalent of state tuition. If he decides to go elsewhere it will be up to him (unless we can afford it at the time). My parents didn't pay for 100% of my tuition so I chose state schools. I got a great education and have minimal loans.

I would NEVER not save for retirement in order to save for DS's college. He might not even go to college or get a full scholarship...but I definitely want to retire

Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?

Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?

Posted by KateDevine

Posted by Bridex100

It's not a big deal to me but it is VERY important to DH. DH is pretty obsessed with saving in general. We're only 30/31 and he talks about saving for retirement all the time.

This is when you SHOULD save for retirement

My DH is FDNY, he has a pension and we still want to start saving beyond that

Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?

I will try and help my DC with some of the expenses of college but they will take loans just like I did and am still paying for. Obviously this is not everyone but going through law school, I found the kids driving mercedes and going on mommy and daddy's dime didn't "care" as much as those in debt to be there.

Plus, if you have more than one child and they don't both want to go to college, what do you say to the other one about money you spent on one - "too bad, you didn't go to college?"

Of course if I wiln the megamillions, I will pay for their college

Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?

DH and I are and will do everything to save enough for DD so she doesn't have to take out a loan, and if we don't have enough we will try our best to help her out, so she isn't stuck with a loan for years and years. . I mean if she still ends up taking out a loan for part of it (for whatever reason) oh well, nothing we can do about that, but we would like to help her as much as we can (and hope she gets a scholarship )

Message edited 1/6/2010 8:02:48 PM.

Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?

Funny you should mention this because I was just talking about this at school today. Many of my students feel that they are entitled to go to school for free. The expect that the government should pay their tuition between Pell, Tap, and other grants. They do not want to ever take out a loan!

DH comes from money. He has none, but when his parents die, there will be a nice sum of money. He was fortunate to go to NYU and not have a single loan. His parents paid for it all. He is also an only child. His mother continually reminds him how lucky he is.

On the other hand, I chose to go to private college on mostly scholarship, but do have some loans. I also financed my Masters with loans (this is a much better option then credit cards, like some of my friends)

Currently we have 529s for the twins and put in what we can. DH's parents give some money as well. When the time comes, they will have to make the choice of using what they have wisely or having to take out loans.

In the words of my mother "An education is a right...but no one said it had to be a private education!"

Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?

Posted by jellybean1420

Posted by KateDevine

Posted by Bridex100

It's not a big deal to me but it is VERY important to DH. DH is pretty obsessed with saving in general. We're only 30/31 and he talks about saving for retirement all the time.

This is when you SHOULD save for retirement

My DH is FDNY, he has a pension and we still want to start saving beyond that

Kate just curious...is it the same with the FDNY? They can retire after 20 yrs?

DH and I always laugh we will have more money after he retires

Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?

If I have the $$ when my DC need it, then I will be more than happy to help them out but if I don't, I don't. I received a lot of grants and went to a state school since my parents didn't really have the money. I refuse to go into debt now to save for something 18 years from now. They will get an education regardless, it might not be Ivy League, but they will do just fine.

Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?

Obviously retirement is more important, but at the same time as we save for retirement, we are also saving for their college education.

Education is an absolute priority in our family - my parents worked their arses off so I could go to College and only worry about my studies, not about how I was going to pay for my next meal, rent, books or tuition. And you better damn well believe that I didn't take it for granted, not even for a moment - I worked SO incredibly hard, went to a top 25 liberal arts college and graduated 12th in my class - and that's how I got into Law School almost tuition free, because I was offered so many scholarships based on my College grades. And that's how I ended up getting the job of my dreams, working as a civil rights attorney, competing with 300 other applicants.

My point being - I don't know if I would have accomplished all of this, if I had also been working to pay my rent, books, tuition, etc. And there's simply no way on earth I would have been able to afford to take my dream job, working for the federal government, if I had thousands in student loans to pay off.

So, yeah, that is my dream - to allow my children to pursue their dreams, without cost being a hindrance. Like my parents did for me, I want to pay for their College education. And I know that if I raise them in the same manner I was raised, they won't turn into spoiled unappreciative brats, but will work their hardest.

While I see the benefit in making children work to have a greater appreciation for money and what we do/buy for them, I don't think that's the ONLY way to raise children who are aware and appreciative.

Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?

Message edited 1/6/2010 8:56:04 PM.

Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?

I certainly would like to help them with expenses, but they do need to take some responsiblity. I had a full scholarship based on merit..I earned it. DH had scholarships and grants. My brother had partial scholarships and loans.

I agree with PP that i would rather put more $$ towards retirement b/c there wont be any SS around for us when it comes time. I dont want to be a burden to my children like my grandparents have become to my parents

Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?

Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?

A few points:

Most of the financial "experts" (i.e. Ramsey, Orman, Bach, etc) would say that 529 is at the end of priorities. My take:

1. pay off high interest (ie. credit card) debt.
2. create a 3-6month emergency fund
3. start saving for retirement
4. save for other long term goals (i.e. dp on house)
5. consider saving for 529.

I was fortunate enough to have my parents pay for undergrad, and fortunately for them I went to a "public ivy" and saved them some cash. Granted I'm still paying for med school (and will be for the next 25 years or so, but it's low interest so it's all good).

Right now, I max retirement and am putting away 529s for both kids. Depending on the market and their choices in education (state vs. private) they MAY even have enough for grad school later. I'll let them make the choice. I'm lucky that I can do this, but if I fell into dire straits, I'd ditch the 529s and keep funding the 401ks.

The reality of education is that it's so expensive right now that you really have to look at the cost benefit analysis of going to school. $300,000 in costs for 4 years of college and med school may make sense (and even that is speciality dependent), but $300,000 for college and a PhD in anthropology may not. This is unfortunate as in college everyone is idealistic and trying to "find themselves" but the reality is that when you're paying the loans 20 years down the road you want to find yourself profitable.

Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?

I haven't paid a dime of my college (and i'm still doing my masters now) - and I hope that I can pay for my kids as well. We save a lot and DH's job sets a lot of money for retirement. We will have a lot of kids in college at once, so hopefully we will be able to do it.

Re: Spin off of struggling-paying for secondary education?