Re: Why do some women feel the need. . .

Re: Why do some women feel the need. . .

Posted by Tilde

Posted by Snickers

I am so guilty of this, but then again, my birth story was c-c-crazy...like "Knocked Up" crazy, kind of funny and definitely gruesome.

I work with some sick minded people, so they liked the story. One girl told me she didn't feel well after hearing it.

This thread has opened my eyes to what I could potentially be doing. I never really volunteered the info., but people kept asking questions...

ok i just read your birth story. . . i hope i forget it before i get pregnant. . .

I think its just the image of seeing this pregnant woman, surrounded by three mothers - and all of them going back and forth and almost yelling at her. At one point (literally) screaming: "you didnt suffer, you only made it to 3CM I made it to 8CM, *I* suffered"



(PS all of this with my manager and male coworkers sitting at the next table!)

Re: Why do some women feel the need. . .

I had a friend do that.

She used words like "ripped apart" and others that I've long forgotten (intentionally!) in the 12 years since she had her first.

Same friend had her 4th shortly after I had my (rather LARGE) DD... when I told her I didn't think it was *that* bad she told me I was crazy.

But I'm one with a high tolerance for pain and a low tolerance for the details (Ophelia's first post on this thread listing the possibilities made me lightheaded despite having done this and having experienced some of them).

I think maybe talking about how rough it is possibly shows what some women are made of... I don't know if I can express this thought well.. but if women are stereotypically viewed as the weaker sex, timid, frightened, etc... the experience of childbirth basically throws all that crap out the window. Sometimes that's worth talking about.

Re: Why do some women feel the need. . .

Posted by Ophelia

Posted by Tilde

screaming: "you didnt suffer, you only made it to 3CM I made it to 8CM, *I* suffered"

this reminds me of the "Survivor" episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.

Re: Why do some women feel the need. . .

Message edited 9/23/2009 3:49:00 PM.

Re: Why do some women feel the need. . .

I have no experience except witnessing 2 naturals and one C-section. I could go into negative details but I usually don't. One of the husbands asked me to take pictures of his child's delivery and I had to figure out how to tastefully frame a vajayjay. And found out there is NO way to do that tastefully.

As far as the conversations go, I have heard all this and more in polite company. I liken them to war stories, women being proud of what they have gone through for their family, and it doesn't bother me. But I've never been pregnant and have a high threshold for gory details.

I could see where a first time mother could be very scared by that though, and will also keep that in mind myself.

Re: Why do some women feel the need. . .

I would ask women that as they did that to me when pregnant - never got a good answer!!!!

Re: Why do some women feel the need. . .

Because women are evil b1tches.

We all hate each other.

Message edited 9/23/2009 4:11:52 PM.

Re: Why do some women feel the need. . .

People are idiots is the only answer! I had 4 pregnancy losses before I had my twins. My friend's mom and her friends all knew this and knew my history. So it happens that this one time my friend and i were pregnant at the same time and her Mom's friend said oh I heard this horrible story about a girl who was pregnant. I actually cut her off and said do not tell us! And she proceeded to tell us anyway MORON!

Re: Why do some women feel the need. . .

Posted by eddiesmommy

Posted by Tilde

Posted by nrthshgrl

I think they think either they are preparing them for it OR that it's one of the biggest things that happened to them so they can't stop thinking about it.

I tell people about mine if it comes up in conversation but I've been accused of downplaying it because they were both a piece of cake.

Signed,
I have a uterus made of steel.

I understand talking about the EVENTS of the day (I felt the contractions, my husband drove me to the hospital). Okay that is helpful and I understand it BUT (these are direct quotes):

they say you forget, but i will never forget that pain

i have never suffered like that in my life

i thought i was dying and i wished for death

it would have been less painful to be ripped in half violently

etc.

The only purpose of these statements is to terrify other woman - how is that supportive!

No its not the only purpose, its just TRUE, its not an exaggeration, its honest to god true for a lot of women.

I dont ever think the intent is to scare but rather to prepare.

Message edited 9/23/2009 5:11:53 PM.

Re: Why do some women feel the need. . .

I think women re-tell their stories because it is like a "red badge of courage".

In a group of women you may have different races, socio-economic backgrounds, levels of education but this experience (no matter if it is a c-section or natural) is uniquely ours as women. It is the one thing most of us can share.

That said I don't tell my story unless asked. (well sometimes I torture my teenage cousins with it )

Re: Why do some women feel the need. . .

I don't think they are trying to put anyone at ease.

I think they do it for themselves, they want to share their battle stories and don't think at all about the people held captive to these details.

I love the competition too-who had the worst birth story. People have been doing this since the beginning of time-someone else has had it worse than you lady!

Re: Why do some women feel the need. . .

All I say is that labor sucks - because it does. It has nothing to do with oneupsmanship. It isn't a contest to me. However, I do not spew information randomly. If it comes up, it comes up.

Re: Why do some women feel the need. . .

Omg. this is a HUGE pet peeve of mine and SOOOOOOOO many women do it
I had a c-section and had a fabulous experience from start to finish to full recovery and I share THAT with all pregnant women!

Re: Why do some women feel the need. . .

Re: Why do some women feel the need. . .

Posted by Stacey1403

Posted by SIBride06

Because women are evil b1tches.

We all hate each other.

This is probably the closest to the truth. I swear sometimes it's like they want you to suffer because they did.



The truth of the matter is if childbirth is soooooo terrible why do we keep having babies?

Re: Why do some women feel the need. . .

Honestly, it wasn't that bad!

My sister cries when she gets pins and needles.....and she gave birth with no drugs.

The 9 months of pregnancy is the tough part

Re: Why do some women feel the need. . .

I am not a mother yet and whenever women tell their stories it is in one ear and out the other.

I am so detached from "their" experience.

Bc when I have my baby it will be nice, easy, and drugged

That is what I tell myself everytime I hear these crazy birth stories...

Re: Why do some women feel the need. . .

That's terrible! Why would anyone say that!!!!!!!!!!??

Re: Why do some women feel the need. . .

It's traumatic and a huge event. Talking can be a therapeutic for the other person. Just as they aren't thinking of folks not wanting to hear it, you have to consider that they are bonding and relating to people by sharing their story. I know my second labor was horrific (but ended with a healthy baby, praise God), by sharing I hope to help women be a little more aware of risks.