Please help me feel better...i feel so jipped!!

I was so excited when DD came and DH and I got to take her home. I was really getting into the swing of things with balancing the house work with DD and BF'ing.
Then the sickness hit, that long story is in my birth story on the Birth Story area.
Now, my OB wants me to stop BF'ing because i was so sick with the staph and i just can't let it go. He is the reason why i got the staph and the diagnosis was missed. It all could have been avoided if he had just listened to me when i told him something was wrong. Now he is telling me to give up the one thing that I was adament on doing, I have been doing the Fenugreek, my DH is getting More Milk Plus and Mother's Milk Tea for me tonight and the LC wants to see me next Thursday to try and get DD to latch and get my supply back. Screw my OB, im gonna trying my damndest to get my supply back.
I just can't help but feel jipped. Out of the first 2 weeks of my DD's life, i only got to be with her for a week. I am psyched to be back with her and enjoying every minute of it buit i can't help but feel upset that I was taken away from her and stuck in that hospital and the BF'ing thing has me upset too. Going from pumping 5 ounces at a time to barely half an ounce is a big change and i kinda feel like a failure that I can't give DD that breast milk. I know i shouldn't feel like that but i do.
Im trying so hard to get it back, i just want to feel happy again and not cheated. It was supposed to be an amazing experince for DH and I with out first and only child and it turned out so badly.
Why can't i get over this??

ETA: I posted this on the wrong board but maybe you ladies can help....

Message edited 8/24/2009 2:13:56 PM.

Re: Please help me feel better...i feel so jipped!!

I got a bad case of Mastitis when my sons were 3 weeks old. I was pumping irregularly so I caused it myself.

I had to stay in the hospital for 4 days and pump every 2 hours. The nurses thought I was nuts. I had the pump attached to me with 106 fever. I knew that I couldn't give them the pumped milk because of all the meds that I was on, but I knew I wanted to keep my supply up. I KNEW I was going to BF no matter what. I literally had puss leaking when I pumped, and still continued to nurse after all the hell I went through. It's now over 9 months of exclusive nursing and my supply is great. If you know in your heart that you want to continue, don't let anyone tell you differently!

Re: Please help me feel better...i feel so jipped!!

I have no experience or advice, but I think that you are a wonderful mom for wanting to bf so badly for your DD. It sounds like you are not going to give up and I think it's great. good luck

Re: Please help me feel better...i feel so jipped!!

Thanks ladies! Im trying to be happy, i should be since I have a beautiful little angel but I can't help but feel upset.

This isn't post partum depression is it??

Re: Please help me feel better...i feel so jipped!!

I cried reading your birth story. I really feel for you. Doctors can be so dumb sometimes.

You have an absolutely perfect looking baby, gorgeous! Focus on her and live for the future. I commend you for trying so hard to BF after all the problems thrown at you. I don't know if I could be that strong.

You might want to post a complaint about your doctor on some doctor rating sites like:

vitals.com
ratemds.com

They are invaluable to me, I have a plethora of doctors to choose from and the bad ratings really help me narrow down.

All the best to you. Keep us updated