Spinoff to drunk drivers

Have you hosted or been to a party where there was a concerted effort to avoid drunk drivers? What were the efforts, and how far would you go?

I was in a bar/comedy club Saturday night and had 2 mixed drinks in the beginning of the five hour stretch. Full stomach, continued eating, switched to coca cola 4 hours before I got in the car.

However, everyone around me was doing shots. They asked me to, every round and every round, I said no. I had a 40 minute drive ahead of me, etc.

By the time we left the bar and went to the comedy club, I had found out what everyone's backup plan was. Who the designated drivers were, who was sleeping over who's house, etc. I could just have easily ignored all of it and went on my way. I did it quietly, so I didn't get the complaints from the people already drunk that I was mothering them.

I guess I'm curious, in addition to all we talk about here about DUI/DWI, how everyone puts it into action? I'll be able to start entertaining at my house soon and this will definitely be a consideration.

Re: Spinoff to drunk drivers

When I have people at my house, I try to limit the availability of the alcohol. I have reasons beyond keeping my guests sober.. but that's a good reason too.

I have gotten in bad arguments with folks who insisted that they were fine to drive. One girl vomited, got up, staggered to her car and tried to put the wrong key in a spot where the ignition wasn't. When I took her keys she called me every name you could think of. And it sucked.. but she's alive today - so that's something.

It's dicey.

Re: Spinoff to drunk drivers

Everyone knows that I don't drink, so if we all go out, I usually drive.. I feel better having that control anyway!!

Re: Spinoff to drunk drivers

when we go out or host a party, DH and i are always very, very conscious of who is drinking and how much. we try our best to coordinate rides home for people or convince them to stay over. it's rare, but i have taken keys away in the past. not sure if DH has.

having worked in bars and restaurants for a long time, and seeing what people do, DH feels very, very strongly about drinking and driving and that has rubbed off on me.

Re: Spinoff to drunk drivers

Concerted effort as in everyone hands over keys? No.

Concerted effort as in not letting your friend drive, taking keys away, calling cabs, driving people home & offering to get their car the next day...absolutely.

I'm not a big drinker so if DH & I are going out, I'm usually the one driving home.

Re: Spinoff to drunk drivers

When I used to go out with a particular group of GF's, the one driving would ALWAYS get trashed - like to the point where she could barely stand up. I'm not a big drinker, so when I would go out with them, I knew I'd have to be the designated driver.

Just yesterday I had to tell a friend to not drink because he would be driving soon. I know he wasn't happy with me, but I feel too strongly about it.

My cousin died in a drunk driving accident. He was in the back seat of a car with 4 friends and the three of them (including my cousin) were killed when the driver wrapped the car around a tree. Of course, the driver walked away, but he forever has to live with the fact that he killed 3 of his best friends.

FWIW, they had ALL been drinking.

Re: Spinoff to drunk drivers

Re: Spinoff to drunk drivers

I wont' allow anyone in my presence to get behind the wheel of a car drunk. and I will do what it takes. and I could care LESS what you call me...what you think of me...if you hate me forever bc of it.

our house upstate is far...I find out who is doing the driving and remind them of it during the day/night.

anyone that gets too drunk has a space in my home to sleep, and will find a screaming lunatic on the hood of there car if they try to leave my home under the influence. I am debating taking keys when people come in. we've had one party already and we didn't do it...but it's still on my mind.

if we are out together, we either take a taxi, or dh doesn't drink more than a glass or two of wine with dinner. and we make sure we have a good cushion between that glass of wine and our departure. we both take it very seriously.

anyone that I care enough about to break bread/drink the wine with, I care enough about to ensure they don't hurt themselves or worse, someone completely innocent. nothing matters more than that to me.

Re: Spinoff to drunk drivers

Being older, with a little one, we don't really have any encounters anymore where there's heavy drinking at parties or when we go out with friends.

When I was younger, I'll admit it - I WAS obnoxious and mothering to my friends who would try to drive after a night of drinking. I've been known to steal keys from people on a few occasions. I don't care how obnoxious it is, if it saves a potential life, it's worth it in the end, and if they're that drunk, they usually forget by the morning anyway

Re: Spinoff to drunk drivers

We lost a friend to a drunk driver last year, so yes, when I get together with a certain group of friends, there is usually a big effort to stop anyone from driving.

Re: Spinoff to drunk drivers

DH and I usually go to parties together, so one of us is the DD and the other can drink. If one of our friends has had too much, we insist on giving them a ride. When it has come up, they usually accept without a problem.

If someone is at our house and drinks too much, we make it known that they are welcome to stay the night if it's too far to take a cab home or have someone come pick them up.

It's never been a big issue - we've never had to get into an argument with anyone or wrestle the keys out of someone's hands. Maybe we're just lucky, or maybe we have a pretty responsible group, but we all kind of look out for each other and it's worked out well so far.

Re: Spinoff to drunk drivers

I dont drink, But a Longtime ago my friend had a party at her house and another friend got buzzed, When the night was over "She" wanted to drive home,I told her "NO" give me the keys and i'll drive you home, Well she is thankful to me still to this day for driving her home because i dont let friends Drink and Drive, If i had a party at my house as soon as someone comes in and i know they will be drinking and they dont have a designated driver i make them give me their keys and they stay over for the night.

Re: Spinoff to drunk drivers

if DH and I go out with friends, one of us will always drive because we are pretty cautious with our alcohol consumption if we know we are driving and that way we don't have to leave it up to someone else to cut themselves off if they are driving.

if i'm hosting something and i don't feel a person is capable of driving home, they crash at my place.

also, my dad has always told me that if anything ever happened and i was stranded he'd come get me and i have called him before and he came out for me

Re: Spinoff to drunk drivers

Re: Spinoff to drunk drivers

Actually, no. We both lived in the city when we were younger, and everyone used mass transit to get home. If people were really bad and going home alone, we called a cab and someone made sure they got in it.

Now, most parties we go to are during the day (and many are birthday parties for kids) so there is little or no drinking going on.

Re: Spinoff to drunk drivers

Posted by headoverheels

Posted by Bxgell2

Being older, with a little one, we don't really have any encounters anymore where there's heavy drinking

okay whatever you just need to come party with me and DH!

Re: Spinoff to drunk drivers

I always say that drinking and having a good time is not the problem and there are ways to enjoy yourself AND be responsible. You just have to WANT to do it - you have to care a little. The problem is the driving and irresponsible behavior. That creates an issue. The best thing to do is surround yourself with responsible people. I don't have any close friends or relatives that I spend quality time with who are irresponsible individuals to do something like drink and drive -- if they were, we wouldn't be friends or close. I wouldn't hang out with them because I have no patience for that. I was always this way since my friend was killed when I was in HS but since Kenneth got hurt I'm even worse.

I take care of myself, I am responsible, my friends and family that I hang out with are responsible and so is my husband - people in my presence. If they are not, then it is the last time I hang out with them. Life is too short to be around toxic people who don't care about other lives.

Re: Spinoff to drunk drivers

I think it's really hard to monitor people at a party. Especially when you are drinking. You really dont know how different people handle alcohol, sometimes until it is too late.

Before a party, I make sure the extra bedroom is cleared out so I can always offer it up. Make it inviting and ready to go, so noone feels like they are imposing.
I have had a few spontaneous overnight guests due to the wine hitting a little hard.

I had one guest who drank a lot and then tried to make an abrupt departure wayy to drunk.
I tried to nicely convince him to just hang for a little longer. He said no.
I argued with him & finally told him I would call the cops 3 minutes after he left and report a drunk driver near my house. I told him "kill yourself if you want to, but I won't have some innocent person's blood on my hands."
I also stole his phone called his wife and asked her to tell him to stay for a while & not to rush home. I suspected he felt he had to be home by a certain time.

I ordered a pizza, required him to have food, switched to water and stay for a certain amount of time.

You expect people to know their limits & be adults.

Re: Spinoff to drunk drivers

We don't really have drinking parties at my house. If it's family, we usually don't even offer alcohol. And people know we have LOTS of alcohol (DH used to have clients that gave booz all the time). For my son's BDAY party, we might have a few wine coolers. But that's it. Our friend/family are not bid drinkers. I may drink 1 glass of wine. We would NEVER allow someone to get drunk at our house and leave. But nobody we know, really drinks or they don't do it with us.

I NEVER drink and drive. NEVER!

Re: Spinoff to drunk drivers

I a very direct about drinking/driving if I have a party at my house. I have had people sleep over, I have no problem with this.

I have lost someone I loved to an azzhole that drover drunk, so I am very adamant about the subject.

Re: Spinoff to drunk drivers