I am so upset with my mother (parenting related)

DH and I have been a little concerned with DS's speech for some time. He was a later talker to began with and although has progressed, I feel is not at the level he should be. I have mentioned it to my mother many times and she brushes me off

Anyway, after talking with DH we thought it was a good idea to have him evaluated. If they say he doesnt qualify, great. If they say he does qualify, great...than he'll get the help he needs and the speech therapy will help him progress a little more quickly.

DS has been having a lot of temper tantrums lately and although that goes along with the "terrible two's" I think it is more b/c he is not always able to communicate what he wants/needs clearly and he is getting frustrated.

I told my mother today I called for an evaluation and she just keeps telling me he's fine and made me feel stupid for even calling thinking there could be something wrong. This coming from someone who didnt know I had a hearing problem when I was little until the nurse tested me going into kindergarten But it is just upsetting to me that she is not supporting me and putting me down for being concerned. I asked her what harm can I do by having him evaluated...none! I told her compared to other children his age he is lacking in certain areas of speech and mentioned to her some milestones he typically should have reached and hasn't and her response to me was "who told you that, facebook?" She was talking about this site since she knows I go one. She thinks I read online too much and get to much "invalid" information from this site whereas I think it is very helpful and informative for me as a first time parent. I am just sick of her stupid comments like "what do ou want him to be college educated, he's 2".

So basically after that stupid comment from her I hung up and told her forget it. I guess she just comes from a different era where they obviously didnt have evaluations and the "standards" they do now. My grandmother told me my aunt didnt start speaking at all until she was 5 and they apparently thought that was normal than. :bangg:

Noone wants to admit there could be something wrong with their child, but as a parent I think it is better to be proactive and if you are concerned tackle it quickly instead of just waiting and waiting. In these situations, the earlier the better.

Re: I am so upset with my mother (parenting related)

Sounds exactly Like My MIL!! When we were having Noah tested it was always " he is fine, there is nothing wrong with him" ...When it was determined he DID have a speech problem all she said was , ahhh thats phoney, he will talk when he wants to.

I just gave up. You cant change someones mind when they are talking/acting like that, but you can change YOUR reaction to it. So just ask her to support you on this and that you need support and if she cant, you'd prefer she say nothing at all.

Re: I am so upset with my mother (parenting related)

I'm sorry that she made you feel that way. When it comes down to it you have to do what you feel is best for your dc. You are the mom, at least you'll know. If he does qualify you'll be able to get him the benefits of ei. Good luck.

Re: I am so upset with my mother (parenting related)

Re: I am so upset with my mother (parenting related)

ALWAYS go with your gut and ignore those who challenge you even if they are family.

BTW, my mother denied I had animal and seasonal allergies. I have been on a Singulair/Nasonex cocktail for the past 6 years.

Re: I am so upset with my mother (parenting related)

Aw I know how you feel -- I even had people on this site telling me my DD didn't need an evaluation!!

You are doing the right thing - and you will either get the help he needs, or peace of mind that your DS is just a late talker. Like my DD.

Re: I am so upset with my mother (parenting related)

Re: I am so upset with my mother (parenting related)

my dad is the same way and we know what josh's 'issues' are. he still thinks i'm full of it anf josh is fine...um ya that's why he yacks a few times a week!

i really do think it's a generation thing. i mean even when i was a kid they kept the spec. ed. kids so far away from the typical classes and people were actually embarrassed when their kid had a problem (of course they knew so little back then about different dissorders too.)

just know that u are doing the right thing and you know what's best! i try to ignore my dad when he makes stupid comments but honestly i end up bickering with him a lot. so i don't talk to him about things as much as i do my mom.

Re: I am so upset with my mother (parenting related)

My family tried to make me believe I was nuts for getting Jack evaluated. That he is a boy and boys are late talkers. I was making a big deal out of nothing and eventually he would talk.

I stuck to it though and said I was going to rely on the experts. Sure enough, he qualified, and sure enough, even at almost 23 months he still hasn't had that big word explosion yet. Trust your gut - and don't worry what anyone else has to say!

Re: I am so upset with my mother (parenting related)

I can relate.

Go with your gut! And don't listen to anyone else. I think there are so many more resources available now than there was when we were children so our parents don't necessarily understand. Heck, I didn't even know about EI until I heard about it on LIF.

I actually didn't fully disclose all the details to my family because I felt I was getting opposition. I'd even had the finger pointed to me because I'm a working mom and my son goes to daycare and somehow these delays are my fault.

Re: I am so upset with my mother (parenting related)

I am sorry to hear your mother is not supporting you ~ I think you and your dh are doing the right thing. What harm can it do to have him evaluated ~ I know a bunch of children that have been evaluated and then had to have speech therapy. It helped the children communicate and it helps a lot! Good luck!

Re: I am so upset with my mother (parenting related)

an evaluation never hurt.... i have the same thing, i had a tongue tie and went through speech classes... my son has the tongue tie corrected the day after he was born in the hospital- my mom tried to guilt me & dh not to do it- meanwhile- the older they get the more it hurts them since muscle grows thicker....

same with speech- the faster you correct- the less work to be done

Re: I am so upset with my mother (parenting related)

Re: I am so upset with my mother (parenting related)

Posted by butterfly20

an evaluation never hurt.... i have the same thing, i had a tongue tie and went through speech classes... my son has the tongue tie corrected the day after he was born in the hospital- my mom tried to guilt me & dh not to do it- meanwhile- the older they get the more it hurts them since muscle grows thicker....

same with speech- the faster you correct- the less work to be done

Re: I am so upset with my mother (parenting related)

Sending you lots of hugs!!!! Do what is best for your family and forget about everyone(mom) else!

Re: I am so upset with my mother (parenting related)

My mom does the same thing to me, it's very disheartening when you're just trying to do what's best for your baby.

If I had a dollar for everytime she told me to 'stop reading things on the internet', I wouldnt have to save for college.

You're doing what's best for your little guy, no harm in an evaluation!