SPR- Ugh- IRL drama.....so long your eyes might bleed

So I live in a great townhome development. We have LOTS of kids who play outside especially right outside my area because it's built as a roundabout with a grassy area in the middle- so the kids are always out riding their bike/tricycles.

Apparently a couple of my neighbors (we'll call them John and Anne) got into an argument with another neighbor (Beth) regarding Beth's fast driving within the development. I am more friendly with Beth and her DH, as they live right across from us, so we know them better. John is a parent who I know in passing, and Anne is also a parent+she works for the school district I work in, so we know each other professionally.

Now- I will say, I've heard people about Beth's driving as well as the fact that Beth and her husband are kind of *trashy*. I'll admit that's what I like about them though- they're fun, they like to drink, and you know what? They pull no punches and say it like it is. Coincidentally, they have no kids- but have always been very sweet to mine.

ANYWAY~ 2 days ago I'm coming back from taking my girls for a walk and I see Anne and some lady talking in the street. Anne waves me over and tells me that she and Beth had just gotten into an huge argument and Beth called her "a effing c**t" in front of her (Anne) kids. Apparently she went on to say something along the lines of "I might hit your kid one day" or "I hope I hit your kid one day." The lady who Anne was talking to was some random lady who'd been walking by and overheard the whole thing- and she concurred.

I was (and still am) .

So now over the course of the past 2 days- the police and sheriff's dept have been over to see Beth. My next door neighbor (who happens to be a cop)went over today to find out WTH? Apparently Anne has filed a peace order against Beth stating Beth threatened her child's life. Also- according to Beth, Anne started with her first by yelling at her about driving fast.

I feel very torn. I really like Beth. But I am that she would speak to anyone like that in front of their kids. I don't believe she was really threatening Anne, but rather was shooting her mouth off in anger.

I absolutely DON'T want to get involved at ALL- but I feel like I'm being expected to choose sides. After the incident when Anne was telling me what had happend, I KNOW Beth was standing in her window listening. I tried to stay as neutral as possible, but I also felt terribly for Anne as she was really shaken up.

Anyway, I was talking with my next door neighbor (who is married to the cop) earlier when Beth and her husband came outside to sit on their steps. When my neighbor's DH went over to talk to them, his wife and I stayed on our side of the street while our kids played. I felt like we should have gone over, but at the same time, we don't want to get involved in this. But I feel like I should say SOMETHING because I don't want Beth to think I'm taking Anne's side. But I don't want Anne to think I'm taking Beth's side. The way I see it- they were BOTH wrong. But I'm also conflivcted because I feel like Beth was MORE wrong for cursing.

It's like having LIF CF vs. Parenting on my front lawn.......

Re: SPR- Ugh- IRL drama.....so long your eyes might bleed

I would def. stay neutral esp. bc you know her professionally. she probably said what she said out of anger . you were not there so of course there are always three sides to the story
If she mentions it to you, just stay as neutral as possible

Re: SPR- Ugh- IRL drama.....so long your eyes might bleed

Honestly, since you have been talking to "everyone" but Beth, it does look like you are taking sides without even knowing.

If you want to stay truly neutral, I would avoid any conversations.

That being said, how do YOU feel about Beth's driving? I would not believe that anybody would really threaten to run over kids. But the mother might. Especially since Beth has been doing "Beth's thing"... aka the fast driving and does not want to stop.

Tough situation to be in.

You might lose a friend in the process.

Re: SPR- Ugh- IRL drama.....so long your eyes might bleed

Yikes! Have you spoken to Beth about what happened?
Personally, I would agree that you have to stay neutral...perhaps say to both of them that you can see each side to the story. Let them know that you'd prefer not to choose sides, as you like both of them, so you'd prefer to stya out of the argument.

Or move.

Re: SPR- Ugh- IRL drama.....so long your eyes might bleed

Re: SPR- Ugh- IRL drama.....so long your eyes might bleed

Wow - you could have your own little reality show in that development (I know I would def. watch it )

I think that next time you see Beth you should make it a point to say that you are staying out of it.

It really sux that you are basically caught up in the middle of this!

Re: SPR- Ugh- IRL drama.....so long your eyes might bleed

So at what point did the cops pull the threads?

Re: SPR- Ugh- IRL drama.....so long your eyes might bleed

Where are you living girl, Melrose Place??

Ugh, that is some drama!! ITA with others, talk to Beth next time you see her (or do you speak on the phone to one another too?) and just tell her since you weren't involved in it firsthand (thankfully ) that you're staying neutral.

Good luck!

Re: SPR- Ugh- IRL drama.....so long your eyes might bleed

I'd probably try to stay out of it and refuse to speak about the situation with anyone.

But I think I'd have a hard time staying friendly with someone who would A) think its ok to call a woman a c!nt in front of her kids and B) ever say "Maybe I'll hit your kid someday." Maybe the other neighbors think she's trashy for a reason.

Re: SPR- Ugh- IRL drama.....so long your eyes might bleed

Posted by greeneyes361708

But I think I'd have a hard time staying friendly with someone who would A) think its ok to call a woman a c!nt in front of her kids and B) ever say "Maybe I'll hit your kid someday." Maybe the other neighbors think she's trashy for a reason.

Re: SPR- Ugh- IRL drama.....so long your eyes might bleed

Re: SPR- Ugh- IRL drama.....so long your eyes might bleed

This is a toughy ~ I would probably stay neutral ~ Beth didn't say it to you or your kids... Let them hash it out... Good luck!

Re: SPR- Ugh- IRL drama.....so long your eyes might bleed

Beth seems like she can become a bit hot-headed and stubborn at times. if numerous people asked her to drive more slowly, it seems she's speeding to spite everyone, KWIM?

I might get flamed for this, but I wouldn't really care if Anne's kids were around or not when Beth cursed her out.... it's super-insulting and nasty to be called that...

I DO think, though, that some people w/o kids would view the statement 'she called her names IN FRONT OF HER KIDS' as parents crying that they should be respected more than other adults because they spawned... at least that's the way I would have viewed it a couple years ago. I can't help but think that Beth may feel like the 'parent card' is being pulled on her very frequently (ex. don't drive fast in our neighborhood BECUASE OF MY KIDS, don't talk to me that way BECAUSE OF MY KIDS) and it is that frustration that made her crack that afternoon.

Is what she did ok? heck no.... Do I think that parents are using their kids as the excuse to make her drive more slowly, rather than acknowledging that anyone could be caught off guard by a speeding car.... IMO, yep I do...

I think somehow, if the topic comes up between you and beth, you might want to convey that latter point... becuase as a person who became a parent very late in life, as wrong as it is, I sometimes wanted to rebel against parents who insisted I be more careful becuase their children are around.... as if their childrens lives are more valuable than mine or any other adults.... KWIM?

Re: SPR- Ugh- IRL drama.....so long your eyes might bleed