Re: First mother's day Q + vent

Did you let DH know in any way that you wanted to do something just the 3 of you on your first Mother's Day? He did still have to see his mother, I think that should be expected. Maybe this year talk to him about what your mothers day wishes are and see if you can fit in your mother and MIL either earlier or later in the day.

We decided to do something different last year and went with family members to the Mets game. My Mother was not there nor was my MIL. But we saw them both and celebrated big time the day before as it is still their day as well. Before we did make that decision, we did speak to both of our mothers and invited them along also asking if they minded that we do something a little different. Once we knew they were okay celebrating on any day with us, then we went ahead and made our own plans

Re: First mother's day Q + vent

That wouldn't upset me. On mother's day I see my mom, my grandma, and my MIL. For me, that day is about all the moms in my life, not just me.

Re: First mother's day Q + vent

Posted by nrthshgrl

Posted by luv
Oh well I am just going to forget about it and get on with my life I guess I'm just having a bad day and the rainy weather isn't helping.

Please don't forget about it. Obviously it was important to you. I'm not saying you need to tell him what a crappy job he did last year, but moving forward plan the day out as you want it.

Re: First mother's day Q + vent

Last year was also my first mother's day. Both my mohter and MIL came to my house for brunch - which I cooked without any assistance from DH.

When it came time for dinner I realized he had NO plans, and said let's order a pizza. At that point the lightbulb went off in his head and he took me out to dinner w/ the baby.

I was very disappointed, but by this point in time it doesn't really matter. I know there will come a point when DD is old enough to get it, and she will make a card, or a necklace of macaroni or something and that day will be the one I will remember as the first.

Re: First mother's day Q + vent

I'm just hoping DH REMEMBERS mothers day! He has a tendency to forget everything but birthdays and christmas.....

I've already hinted that mother's day is coming up soon and he should start planning a gift for his mother (hint hint hint hint!)

While it would bee nice to be the only mom in the room, as long as he celebrates me too I'll be happy....

Re: First mother's day Q + vent

We always do breakfast with my inlaws and dinner with my family.

This year will be the same, but, different. My mom and gram both passed away a few months ago.
We are still doing breakfast with my inlaws (I LOVE my MIL to pieces) and we are still going to have dinner over at my dads.
My sister LOVES cooking "Sunday dinner", so, it will be another Sunday.
Mother's Day this year is also my Birthday. I WANT to be with family!

I think the day before DH and I will do something (more for my bday than Mothers Day), so, we'll see.

Re: First mother's day Q + vent

I wouldn't be upset. First, it is a commercialized holiday - what's more important to me is how my DH and DD show me they appreciate me as a mother everyday, in little ways, rather than what a commercialized holiday mandates.

Second, this, along with Father's day, to me, is a family day. It's not just a celebration of YOU as a mom, but everyone in your life, and in DH's life, who are important mother figures. I think it's touching that he wanted to spend the day equally with the two mothers who are most important to him. Many men don't even bother to celebrate, either for their wives, or for their mothers. I would be happy in just knowing that he made the effort to celebrate all the mother's in his life

Re: First mother's day Q + vent

Re: First mother's day Q + vent

I think you just have to tell him point blank. That is how my DH is with stuff...sometimes he has no idea unless I tell him. He likes when I tell him so he knows he's doing what I want, KWIM? If you want it to be different going forward, speak up and I bet he will be so glad you did.

Re: First mother's day Q + vent

I really think you should have spoken to him last year. I would tell him you would like to do something special on your own together this year. Maybe you can do brunch together and have a dinner with his mom or vice versa.

Re: First mother's day Q + vent

Posted by leighla

I'm apparently in the minority, but I wanted my first mother's day to be just the three of us.

I would have been upset if he had planned it without asking me.

BUT, IMO, since it seems like you didn't say anything then, you gave him the "okay".

Bringing it up now isn't really going to do anything but hurt his feelings and make him feel bad.

But I would tell him that this year you would like it to be just the three of you and see what he says.

Re: First mother's day Q + vent

As a mother i would never want my DH to forgot about his own mother on such a special day. I think about a day, many years from now, and hope that my daughter in law and my son would want me to be with them on the 1st of their mother's days.

if you want something done differently than the norm then you need to speak up and tell your DH that you would really like to go someplace just the 3 of you..but just remember that someday you will be the MIL.

Re: First mother's day Q + vent

We always spend mother's day with the family--it is a day of all mothers, after all!

I think it was very appropriate for your DH to take out both mothers in his life together-mother of his child and his own mom

As Michele said, being a mother yourself you would never want your DH to forget his own mom on that special day! Just think of how special you would feel if you were in her shoes! I am sure you and your DH will have many other happy occasions to go out for a romantic meal together-anniversaries, bithdays etc. Mothers day is really about family!

Re: First mother's day Q + vent

Your feelings are understandable. Since you are still upset by this, I think you should talk to DH about it.

For my first mother's day I didn't want to be running around seeing my mom, his mom, grandmothers, etc. So we held a BBQ at my house and DH (and all the other father's) did all the work.

It was a perfect day.

Re: First mother's day Q + vent

While I wanted to feel special it would never enter my mind that Mother's day wouldn't be spent with my family especially my own mother. I think it is hard to be upset now since you didn't say anything to let DH know it was important to you that you spend it alone. Can you let your DH know it is important to do something alone - and maybe you could do "mother's day" on saturday and then do a family event on the actual day if it is important to you.