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randella
Love my little man
Member since 8/05 16290 total posts
Name:
Randi
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You would not believe what my dad said to me yesterday!!
So, we were out on LI and I stopped by my dad's house. I hadn't seen him since the Jewish holidays-- so, about 3 or so weeks ago.
He says, let me look at you.. And then he says, "Oh, you are really starting to look TUBBY".
ARE YOU INSANE????? I went off on him. He said he meant that I am starting to look pregnant. So I said, then tell me I look pregnant. Tubby is a mean name you call a fat kid! Did he think that was supposed to be cute?
I have been thinking about this ever since. The man who always made comments to me about my weight, and my body-- who has made self-esteem and confidence a huge issue for me since puberty just loves to kick me when I am feeling vulnerable.
DH was in the bathroom and when he came out I told him-- and he said to my dad that you shouldn't call anyone tubby-- pregnant or not. My dad just laughed-- like he has no idea what he says to people and how it affects them.
I cannot believe I am the spawn of such insensitivity!!!!!!!! 
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Posted 11/2/08 7:24 AM  |
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Re: You would not believe what my dad said to me yesterday!!
my dad has routinely stated that i've had a "fat ***" even before i got pregnant (which is partly true). i just tell him, "really? you look like you could be carrying twins!"
doesn't bother me, never has never will... it's not a malicious thing in our family, it's just a little poking fun at things we try hard to change but sometimes don't have much success. now if i were a skinny mini like i was back in the day, well, then i'd be a little more pissy with my response!
oh, and i got some additional "sweet revenge" via DD recently...she pointed to grandpa and said "grandpa has a baby in the tummy like mommy" 
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| Posted 11/2/08 7:53 AM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: You would not believe what my dad said to me yesterday!!
Thats ridiculous, how did he respond after you went off on him. You really need to tell him how his idiotic comments affect you, his own daughter!!!!!!
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| Posted 11/2/08 8:10 AM |
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randella
Love my little man
Member since 8/05 16290 total posts
Name:
Randi
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Re: You would not believe what my dad said to me yesterday!!
Posted by pickles16
Thats ridiculous, how did he respond after you went off on him. You really need to tell him how his idiotic comments affect you, his own daughter!!!!!!
he just kinda laughed it off and said that is not what he meant.. But then why did he say it?? Then he wanted to get a "better look at me" and I refused to take my coat off and show him. After a comment like that-- who needs someone, especially HIM, surveying my body. So yes, he said this to me while my coat was still on. Sometimes I can't believe my mother stayed married to him for almost 20 years-- imagine being married to a man who made comments like that you!!
I yelled at him-- and I think he knew I was upset. I didn't hold anything back-- but, I am not sure he *gets it*. I mean-- the man is 63 years old. He is not going to change.
Doublestroller-- that's a pretty funny story about your DD. Unfortunately my dad is pretty skinny and looks great for his age. *******!! Although, he does make some questionable fashion choices!
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| Posted 11/2/08 8:20 AM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: You would not believe what my dad said to me yesterday!!
See my dad has a very dry and sarcastic sense of humor which I get from him, and sometimes if you didn't know my dad he could come off as insensitive...but he also knows what he can get away with with me, but if he's continuously like that, thats just wrong..my parents also got divorced and a lot of stemmed from my dad being insanely critical, which, unfortunately I am as well, and my mom just couldn't handle a lot of it, even though half the cr*p that came out of his mouth he didn't mean..but I totally get where you're coming from!!!!
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| Posted 11/2/08 8:24 AM |
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Lucky09
2017!
Member since 1/06 7539 total posts
Name:
DW
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Re: You would not believe what my dad said to me yesterday!!
I totally feel your pain!
At my nephew's birthday party this week, my Mom was like "I want to take your picture so you can remember how fat, er, chubby, er, pregnant you look!"
As someone who has always been sensitive about her appearance, that is NOT the thing to say to me!
Some people just suck, and unfortunately there is just no changing them. Even though your Dad doesn't get it, I'm SORRY he said those things! 
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| Posted 11/2/08 9:36 AM |
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jaysee00
LIF Adult
Member since 3/06 1647 total posts
Name:
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Re: You would not believe what my dad said to me yesterday!!
As you had said, there is no changing him. It is very frustrating to sometimes see our parents for what they are and to have to deal with it. It seems like you handled it perfectly. I know it's hard to do, but you have to remind yourself of how he is and try not to take it too personally. It seems like he would say that to anyone. Believe me, I've been in similar situations with my own family members.
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| Posted 11/2/08 9:49 AM |
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