Would this annoy you?

Let's just say I'm not a fan of my MIL. At all! Anyway, that probably has a lot to do with why I am so annoyed by this, or maybe I'm just extra hormonal, but just wanted to see if I'm off base here.

My shower on LI is this weekend. Dh and I live in CT and my family is on LI and his is in PA so we had one shower already with his family and this is the one for my family/friends. My MIL is coming of course, and my mom had asked her ages ago if there was anyone else she wanted to invite. She wanted to invite one of DH's aunts (not attending).

Anyway, last weekend MIL calls DH and says that she really wants to see her cousin that lives on LI and since they won't be on LI for long it would be great if she can invite her to the shower. Now, not only had my mom already given the count (it's out at a place so would be additional $ my mom has to put out) the bigger issue is is that we have never heard of this person!!!!! We got married on LI, had multiple bridal showers, etc. and this person has never been mentioned, invited, etc. to any of our events, nor have ILs gone to see her when on LI. I just think it was kind of rude and inconsiderate to ask, especially so late in the game.

I'm so annoyed. The shower is going to be my closest family and friends and one random stranger. Yes, she is DH's family but he doesn't know this person either! Would this annoy you? Like I said, it's not a huge deal (and of course when she called my mom, my mom said no problem because what else was she supposed to say?) and it's probably because I h-a-t-e her, I just feel like there is always something with her....she has to somehow cause a stir or make the event about her in some way. Just gets under my skin so bad and I cringe at the thought of seeing her!

Thanks for letting me vent and please don't quote.

Re: Would this annoy you?

Yeah, reading your post I am annoyed for you!

I had similar issues at my wedding. Why do these kind of events make family/friends think the day is all about them?!

Re: Would this annoy you?

Everything annoys me these days, LOL.

But I would probably at MILs request and be annoyed that she couldn't remember her cousin earlier when your Mom asked, but I'd also do exactly as you guys are doing, say "of course she can come" and move on.

Re: Would this annoy you?

I would sooo be annoyed!!! This is your baby shower.. not a reunion for your mil and her family that shes never even mentioned before.. thats ridiculous!! If your mil wanted to see this person soo bad tell her to meet up with her after the shower for an hour at a place.. not your shower. The shower is for you and not your mil.. i would so put her in her place..

Re: Would this annoy you?

well i guess since mil was given the ok- it would be rude to uninvite..... i agree with the other person- she should have met up with her after the shower-- abd your mil was already at one shower of her own family so its not like she had to go to this one.....

the only thing you could do is ask her at the shower " how shes related because you dont remember her at other events"

Re: Would this annoy you?

I would absolutely be annoyed that she did that to my Mom - But mine, like yours would brush it off and be gracious a la "No big deal" invite whoever you want .........So, MIL was rude, I"m sure it's not the first time !! - Say hello to random stranger and continue on w/ the rest of YOUR day !!

Re: Would this annoy you?

i wouldnt be annoy , i like my mother inlaw so whoever she invites is fine with me the more the merrie. my fh comes from a big family so i wouldnt care.

Re: Would this annoy you?

Re: Would this annoy you?

I guess I would just be at why all of a sudden your MIL "needs" to see this woman when obviously she wasn't important enough to invite to your wedding. But, in the grand scheme of things it's only one more person so I'd just let it roll and be gracious when you meet her. Not for nothing but I'm sure this woman is going to be just as that she's invited to she shower when she's wasn't even invited to the wedding..and that's on your MIL so she's the one looking kinda bizarre.

Re: Would this annoy you?

Yes-- it would definitely annoy me. But maybe as the shower approached, she decided she wanted someone else there because she might not know anyone else too well? Not an excuse, and she should have thought about that when your mom originally asked... but perhaps that was it.

Either way, try to not let it get to you. It's your day and who cares if someone you don't know very well will be there. It's not like you are personally responsible for entertaining her-- you probably won't even notice her presence.

Re: Would this annoy you?

Re: Would this annoy you?

That would annoy me too. Hope you have a great time at your shower.

Re: Would this annoy you?

I had similar issues with my MIL at my shower. Half of the people that "had" to be invited coulndn't come so it was a non-issue. But very frustrating.

Sorry you are coing through this.

Re: Would this annoy you?

Thanks ladies! It's not that I'm opposed to any of Dh's family being there, it's more the fact that we have never heard of this person until last week which is bizarro considering she lives 5 minutes from my parents and I feel like i would have come up before and she would have been invited to other events. I thought she would be when MIL asked her to attend as well, but she is coming! Maybe she is as weird as MIL.

eta: when my mom asked what her last name was for the placecard, MIL had to call the cousin to find out. Clearly they are very close!

Message edited 10/2/2008 12:09:21 PM.

Re: Would this annoy you?

Yes, it would annoy me as well especially when she's had ample opportunity to ask if she could be invited beforehand. Perhaps just have DH tell her very nicely that it's too late to add last minute guests.

Re: Would this annoy you?