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vegalady
Love my family
Member since 6/06 4546 total posts
Name:
SNV
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Need some advice on a friend issue and Christening?
So my girlfriend who I invite over my house never comes over. She has come to my house one time in PA and she lives in NJ. She always makes up some excuse everytime we invite her and her hsuband over, plus their 2 kids.
I have gone to her house in NJ 2 times when they were living in South Orange and 2 times since living in Plainfield. I go out of my way to get to them but they never go out their way for us.
Needless to say this is starting to make me angry. Her daughter is having a Christening on Sunday and I am not sure if I even want to go. I am just tired of always goign out of my way and they cant.
When my DS was born she didnt even come to see him and I went to see her two times when her DS was born. She didnt even make an attempt and she had a license. Her excuse is she is too afraid to drive on the highway.
I mean what gives man. Would you guys go to her Christening? I really hate arm for arm tooth for a tooth stuff but at this point its getting on my nerves.
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Posted 5/27/08 4:29 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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JChia
Mom of 2 Princesses
Member since 9/07 2540 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: Need some advice on a friend issue and Christening?
I wouldn't go... We have friends that did the same thing to us - always cancelled when they were supposed to come - after the 3rd or 4th time we just stopped inviting them -We always went to their events. We see them at other peoples events now and that is the extent of our friendship - I think we are all much happier for it...
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| Posted 5/27/08 4:38 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need some advice on a friend issue and Christening?
It would depend on the relationship.
Am I talking/emailing/im'ing her?
Is it a one way relationship where you aren't getting any support or friendship out?
Do you meet up outside of families?
My DH isn't much for socializing outside of his circle of friends, so I tend to socialize with my friends without him. I think having children puts most people i a time warp. One of my closest friends is someone I rarely see. She lives in south Jersey & neither of us want to schlepp to see each other on the weekends. We meet up in the city & catch up via email.
Friendship is about more than visiting houses, it's about support. If you're putting in all of the effort & not getting anything in return, I would skip it.
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| Posted 5/27/08 5:18 PM |
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vegalady
Love my family
Member since 6/06 4546 total posts
Name:
SNV
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Re: Need some advice on a friend issue and Christening?
Posted by nrthshgrl
It would depend on the relationship.
Am I talking/emailing/im'ing her?
Is it a one way relationship where you aren't getting any support or friendship out?
Do you meet up outside of families?
My DH isn't much for socializing outside of his circle of friends, so I tend to socialize with my friends without him. I think having children puts most people i a time warp. One of my closest friends is someone I rarely see. She lives in south Jersey & neither of us want to schlepp to see each other on the weekends. We meet up in the city & cach up via email.
Friendship is about more than visiting houses, it's about support. If you're putting in all of the effort & not getting anything in return, I would skip it.
all we really do is email each other a lot. However, I am schlepping my behind all the way to Jersey to see her and she can't return the favor. I only ask her for advice about children since her kids are a bit older than mine. I have asked her to go out just the two of us for a girls day out and of course she gives and excuse. (I.E. she cant leave the kids at home with their father b/c he cant handle the two of them). Meanwhile we were having a convo one day and she told me about the one time she went out with her friend in the city. That made me furious b/c I had asked her several times and always and excuse.
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| Posted 5/28/08 9:20 AM |
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Ang-Rich
Beyond Compare
Member since 5/05 17988 total posts
Name:
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Re: Need some advice on a friend issue and Christening?
Did she attend your son's christening? If so then I would say go to her daughter's but I would also suggest they you no longer go out of your way for visits until she returns the gesture. Personally.
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| Posted 5/28/08 9:29 AM |
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Dulcinea
Weekend Warrior
Member since 3/08 2530 total posts
Name:
Dulcinea
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Re: Need some advice on a friend issue and Christening?
I would not go. Don't feel bad for doing it etiher. She obviously has alot of excuses up her sleeves. If she's not comfortable driving on the highway, then have her husband drive.
Unless she gave you a gift for your own DC's christening, save yourself the trip and the christening gift...
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| Posted 5/28/08 10:37 AM |
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vegalady
Love my family
Member since 6/06 4546 total posts
Name:
SNV
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Re: Need some advice on a friend issue and Christening?
Posted by Dulcinea
I would not go. Don't feel bad for doing it etiher. She obviously has alot of excuses up her sleeves. If she's not comfortable driving on the highway, then have her husband drive.
Unless she gave you a gift for your own DC's christening, save yourself the trip and the christening gift...
Well DS didnt have a christening. He is having his 1st b-day party on June 21st and we will see if she attends that. My thoughts are that she probably isnt going to attend even if I did attend her babies Christening. And yes her husband can drive. Her excuses are so lame and so old that I am just tired of them. This weekend we invited them over for a barbecue and of course her excuse is we had to get the house ready for the Christening. Which mind you they have been doing for the past 2 weeks now.
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| Posted 5/28/08 12:13 PM |
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