What to do about a friend living in the "I" world...

I have a good friend who only speaks of herself. Someone can talk about anything and no matter what my friend ALWAYS flips the conversation on herself. It never bothered me until recently. I actually get tense to be around her. I have noticed other people feel the same way. She'll start talking and people will literally walk away or start different conversations with other people. She has no problem interrupting a conversation that is already happening to tell us some ridiculous story about herself or someone else.
I know that if I gently bring this to her attention, she will be SO insulted.
Any suggestions or experiences with someone like this?

Re: What to do about a friend living in the "I" world...

Re: What to do about a friend living in the "I" world...

Re: What to do about a friend living in the "I" world...

Yes, I did. In college.

It didn't come out in the beginning. She was so much fun, great to hang out with...and then the 'I' came out and there was no putting it away.

I brought it up to her - not so gently. She was unaffected by it. The only thing that affected her was when our group cut ties, one by one.

But I'm sure that she's moved on to a new group of friends. She figured that we were jealous of her.

Re: What to do about a friend living in the "I" world...

I have a good friend that does that. She lives OOS, and we don't talk too often, but when we do, she turns it back on herself.

It's very frustrating, and I've now limited my calls to her. It's mostly e-mails.

Good luck!

Re: What to do about a friend living in the "I" world...

Message edited 1/26/2008 2:30:50 PM.

Re: What to do about a friend living in the "I" world...

Re: What to do about a friend living in the "I" world...

Posted by apb17

She really is good at heart and this whole "I" thing never bothered me until now. She is usually very funny and outspoken (in usually a good way). She has taught me a lot about sticking up for myself and strapping on some ball$ when I need to .
With that said, I think I was wearing "blinders" for all this time since now I see other people doing this... constantly. It actually has been an eye opener for me. Now its just a matter of figuring out what I need to do.

Re: What to do about a friend living in the "I" world...

Wow that's uncomfortable.

Can you joke about it & turn the conversation back around to the person she's hijacking from? "So getting back to you, what were you saying?"

If that doesn't work, I would tell her if she was a good friend. If she's not a good friend, I would distance myself too. It's not your job to make her a good listener or friend unless you feel that she is a very good friend that has a lot of good qualities to offer & is doing it subconsciously.

If you see it's starting to effect her other friendships, I would say something. If she cares enough about it, she'll make an effort to stop - even if it's that you two have a buzzword. If she's not willing to make the effort then it doesn't sound like she's worth saving from herself.

Re: What to do about a friend living in the "I" world...

Posted by DaniRella

Posted by apb17

She really is good at heart and this whole "I" thing never bothered me until now. She is usually very funny and outspoken (in usually a good way). She has taught me a lot about sticking up for myself and strapping on some ball$ when I need to .
With that said, I think I was wearing "blinders" for all this time since now I see other people doing this... constantly. It actually has been an eye opener for me. Now its just a matter of figuring out what I need to do.

i find that it is always that they are good people - they are never mean or bad to people - they are nice and that makes it even harder! b/c it doesn't feel like a valid reason to not want to spend time with them - but, honestly, only cuz i know where you are coming from - it IS a valid reason! it is how you feel and if you are always being brought down by this person, in terms of your mood, b/c of how she acts then you have some serious thinking to do about maybe taking a step back from being their friend.