I heard something that kind of upset me over the weekend

I posted a couple of weeks ago that DH's best friend and his wife had their baby prematurely ( I think at 28 wks.) b/c she developed pre-eclampsia. The baby is in the NICU and was born at 2.5 lbs. Well, apparently DH's friend and his wife didnt even want this baby. It was an "accident" and she was upset she was even pregnant (apparently they told this to SIL at DH's surprise b-day party a few months back). And I remember thinking "wow" when we heard they were pregnant b/c these are the same 2 people that said they never wanted kids and she actually said she hates kids and thinks their disgusting. We thought maybe they had a change in heart, I guess not Now they have a premature baby in the NICU who may have some problems as he gets older who is going to require extra, special attention. I feel bad for this baby We haven't seen DH's friend and wife b/c they are obviously busy going back and forth to the hospital but I wonder what they are thinking about all this, if they love their baby or if they now look at him as a burden. I just can't fathom being 5 months pregnant and telling someone "I don't want this baby"

Message edited 12/10/2007 10:14:38 AM.

Re: I heard something that kind of upset me over the weekend

how sad, they should have maybe thought about

1) protection
2) adoption
3) grow up and accept that fact that this baby NEEDS them

I hope they do the right thing for that baby

Re: I heard something that kind of upset me over the weekend

for that baby

Re: I heard something that kind of upset me over the weekend

that is so sad... for that little baby

Re: I heard something that kind of upset me over the weekend

I'm confused- did they RECENTLY say that they still don't want their baby? Or was this said months ago before the baby was born?

Re: I heard something that kind of upset me over the weekend

Many have a change of heart and would die for their child once born. I pray they think differently now.

Re: I heard something that kind of upset me over the weekend

Re: I heard something that kind of upset me over the weekend

maybe after seeing their baby things have changed

Re: I heard something that kind of upset me over the weekend

I truely hope they have a change of heart, seeing your little one can do that sometimes..... for this baby girl

Re: I heard something that kind of upset me over the weekend

oh this poor child... i am praying for her...

Re: I heard something that kind of upset me over the weekend

I hope with each visit, the baby will creep into their heart. It's devastating to see any living creature struggle. I can't imagine seeing your child struggle & not have it affect you.

The other thing is sometimes people say things they don't mean to "protect" themselves. I truly hope that's the case here.

It's not the same thing but I remember hearing my sister's friend telling everyone that she absolutely did not want a girl, only a boy. The friend was actually angry with my sister because everyone thought my sister was having a boy. She was in her last trimester at the time. She had a 50/50 shot of having a girl- bad odds to take if you didn't want one. Sure enough, she had a girl, who she loves to death.

for their little one.

Re: I heard something that kind of upset me over the weekend

Re: I heard something that kind of upset me over the weekend

That is sooooo sad, poor baby

Re: I heard something that kind of upset me over the weekend

Re: I heard something that kind of upset me over the weekend

I wouldn't be too upset by what she said months ago. If they're going back and forth to the hospital to see and care for the baby, I'm sure they love it now.

Re: I heard something that kind of upset me over the weekend

Don't think badly of the new Mom. Maybe she was depressed and said things that she didn't mean. Or maybe she regrets the things that she said. I am sure that She will love her Baby, maybe she just needs to adjust to parenthood.

Re: I heard something that kind of upset me over the weekend

Re: I heard something that kind of upset me over the weekend

How sad.....hopefully this was just said carelessly for whatever reason-I'm that this woman, after seeing her amazing little gift, has had a change of heart.

Re: I heard something that kind of upset me over the weekend

Awww poor little baby...

Re: I heard something that kind of upset me over the weekend

Posted by stephanief

Posted by Summerrluvv

Posted by jellybean1420

I'm confused- did they RECENTLY say that they still don't want their baby? Or was this said months ago before the baby was born?

She said this when she was 5 months pregnant. Now that they actually had the baby, I am hoping they had a change of heart like waterspout mentioned.

I'm sure a lot of people have those thoughts when a pregnancy wasn't planned. I certainly wouldn't fault them for it. Now if they still had those thoughts AFTER the baby was born..that would be a concern.

I would be shocked and saddened if someone told me at 5 months pregnant that they did not "want" the baby they were carrying

Re: I heard something that kind of upset me over the weekend

If someone told me that, I would be happy they didn't choose to abort the baby and happy that they might possibly think about adoption. I know most of the people on this board "planned" to become pregnant, and were ecstatic that it happened, but that's not everyone's reality and I think we forget that often. Just because someone wasn't happy about the situation doesn't mean they are a terrible mother, person or anything else. What happens after that child is brought into the world is all that matters


I definitely agree that it does not make her a bad mother, what she does from here on out will determine that

Re: I heard something that kind of upset me over the weekend

Posted by Summerrluvv


If someone told me that, I would be happy they didn't choose to abort the baby and happy that they might possibly think about adoption. I know most of the people on this board "planned" to become pregnant, and were ecstatic that it happened, but that's not everyone's reality and I think we forget that often. Just because someone wasn't happy about the situation doesn't mean they are a terrible mother, person or anything else. What happens after that child is brought into the world is all that matters

Re: I heard something that kind of upset me over the weekend

I (as others have posted) HOPE and PRAY that now that they are seeing the baby that their feelings have changed or at least are begining to.

I konw TOO many people (friends/family) that have had trouble conceiving and have been out-right told they cannot have children. People who feel the way this couple does really makes me upset.

Re: I heard something that kind of upset me over the weekend

Posted by Summerrluvv


If someone told me that, I would be happy they didn't choose to abort the baby and happy that they might possibly think about adoption. I know most of the people on this board "planned" to become pregnant, and were ecstatic that it happened, but that's not everyone's reality and I think we forget that often. Just because someone wasn't happy about the situation doesn't mean they are a terrible mother, person or anything else. What happens after that child is brought into the world is all that matters

Re: I heard something that kind of upset me over the weekend

Posted by Summerrluvv
Just because someone wasn't happy about the situation doesn't mean they are a terrible mother, person or anything else. What happens after that child is brought into the world is all that matters