Need to vent about ILs

Message edited 10/25/2007 10:20:45 AM.

Re: Need to vent about ILs

You might not want to hear this, but I think January might be better for you anyway. I just had my shower and I was 32 weeks. I was worn out and while I had a good time and appreciated everything, I think it would have been better if they had it a couple of weeks earlier.

Also, superbowl weekend could work if it is a women-only shower. The only problem would be getting a few guys to help you get the stuff home. I think your MIL could be more accommodating, but to plan it on a date that you know she won't be able to make could be start a whole lot of trouble that just isn't worth it.

Re: Need to vent about ILs

I can sympathize with you...my mom is totally planning my shower alone..and when she sent out an email to DH's mom to let her know the day she was thinking, she didnt even respond.

I would have your mom do the best she can picking a date, and dont stress about who can be there and who cant.

Its too much for anyone to deal with. You did whats right by checking with them.

Re: Need to vent about ILs

Message edited 10/25/2007 10:21:08 AM.

Re: Need to vent about ILs

I think you should have it in Jan.. also..

and I also think your MIL is being a pain..
This grandchild is just as special and why isn't she helping your mom plan it anyway.. People really amaze me..


Thank God my mother in law is not in my life.. I am blessed not to have to deal with this!

I am so sorry you have to.. its REALLY not fair!

Re: Need to vent about ILs

Honestly, I don't see why it is that big of a problem. Just do it one of the other two weekends in Jan so your MIL can be there (that gives your mom 4 date options to work with - Sat & Sun). I would think your MIL being there would be more important then the venue it is held. I also agree, that earlier is better. The closer to your due date the more tired. uncomfortable you may be. Plus you might be anxious, like I was, to start getting everything together and setting up the nursery.

Re: Need to vent about ILs

Oh I wanted to add, I am sorry you are in the middle. I know how much that sucks and I sympathize with you! It happened to me for both my bridal & baby showers and I really wish everyone could have kept me out of it. The only one who respected that was my DH (my mom tried though).

Re: Need to vent about ILs

I think that your mother should plan it for when she wants. You have obviously bent over backwards for his mom, and who is to say if you do it the first week of Feb. that she won't change her mind. This gives her plenty of time to figure out what she would like to do.

If she has a problem with the dates, then she can help host the party with your mom so she can have a say in it.

Re: Need to vent about ILs

I just checked back again and wanted to add - waiting until March? That is insane

I also feel badly that you have to be involved. All of this should be planned without you having to do anything or get aggravated.

Re: Need to vent about ILs

I totally understand your frusteration about being involved and in the middle!! Just try and accommodate her and don't get yourself aggrevated right now!! In the end, it really isn't worth it!

Re: Need to vent about ILs

First I understand your frustration but thats just the way some people are. With that being said, why are you in the middle, give out the phone numbers and let them deal with it. My brother and my MIL planned my shower (my mom is deceased) I gave necessary phone numbers to each and that was it. Personally I wouldnt get in the middle because it could cause tension with you and DH. I would tell your mom that if after speaking with your MIL she feels she is not being flexible or she just cant work aroudn MIL then she should do what she thinks is best.

I also agree with a PP about the timing, I would suggest your shower about 8 weeks previous to your due date. For a bunch of reasons, one is the tired factor, I know at 32 weeks each day I feel like I am more and more tired and wore out by even the littlest tasks. Also what if you go early? I know as a planner I also like the idea being prepared and knowing what I still need to get before my DC arrives without feeling like I have such little time to do so. Finally in February you will have presidents week, that really takes out 2 weekends as that is a big travel time especially for those with school aged kids.

Re: Need to vent about ILs

Message edited 10/25/2007 10:21:27 AM.

Re: Need to vent about ILs

I agree with the pp that said January might be better for you. I was about 36 weeks at my shower and would have preferrd it earlier. I won't worry about Superbowl either unless you are planning on entertaining. The game doesn't start until 6 something anyway and your shower will be over by then.

Re: Need to vent about ILs

I understand your frustration with your MIL. Mine isn't even bothering to come to my shower. True she lives in Minnesota but is no reason she can't fly here for the weekend. We even offered to pay for her ticket but she gave some lame excuse about it being so close to the holidays. (It is december 1st! ) Anyway just wanted to send you some

Re: Need to vent about ILs

I would go with January. My shower is scheduled one month before my due date, and I wish it could have been earlier, but my parents could not get here before then for various reasons. But as others have said, you will be tired, plus you never know if your baby will be born early.

If it was me, I would try to accomodate MIL if possible. See if one of the January dates will work. Also, you could have a lunch or brunch shower, and if you do that, people could still watch the Superbowl.

I am sorry you are in the middle and feel you MIL is not as involved as she could be. It's not a good feeling--I wish mine were a bit more involved also, so I know how you feel. This is an important event for you, and it is disappointing when others don't always share the same enthusiasum.