How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

"I survived ______'s death because I knew I had to live for Grandma. But since Grandma is gone, I have nothing to live for now."


I am so hurt right now.

Message edited 10/18/2007 1:36:17 PM.

Re: How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

I would feel really hurt and shout out what about your children and grandchildren?

Re: How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

I would feel hurt, too, but I'd probably chalk it up to her venting her feelings about her mom's passing... or at least that's what I'd want to do. I think I'd be scared, too.

I'd try to remind her that she has her children and grandchildren to live for -- and remind her that you guys all need her.

I'm so sorry. This must be so tough for you.

Message edited 10/18/2007 1:40:29 PM.

Re: How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

Posted by Kara

I would feel hurt, too, but I'd probably chalk it up to her venting her feelings about her mom's passing... or at least that's what I'd want to do. I think I'd be scared, too.

I'd try to remind her that she has her children and grandchildren to live for -- and remind her that you guys all need her.

I'm so sorry. This must be so tough for you.

Re: How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

I would be tremendously hurt

Re: How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

Sorry.

I'm sure she's just depressed. Maybe she should talk to a Dr.

Re: How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

I would be devistated if my Mom said something like that to me!

Message edited 10/18/2007 1:46:01 PM.

Re: How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

I'd be very hurt too.

Re: How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

I think talking to a grief counselor would be a good idea for your mom. They really can help get you through a rough time.

I think she is just focusing on the bad and not realizing that she's forgetten all the good she still has. Try to gently remind her of that. If she keeps talking this way, try to get her to talk to someone.

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Re: How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

Wow. I would be VERY hurt.

I'm sorry!

Re: How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

Posted by nycchic24

How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

"I survived ______'s death because I knew I had to live for Grandma. But since Grandma is gone, I have nothing to live for now."


I am so hurt right now.

Message edited 10/18/2007 1:48:10 PM.

Re: How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

I'd be hurt

Re: How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

I just cant believe we are here again.

For those of you who have been on the boards for a long time, when my "stepdad" passed, it was a LONG road back..which we still havent recovered from. My sister and I do EVERYTHING to make my mom happy..shes involved in EVERYTHING and we do nothing without her. It took 4 years to get to a somewhat better point with that, and now my grandma passes.

Its hard because we are grieving too. I miss my grandmother with all my heart and soul but my focus is on my moms pain, as usual. I cant even feel the full effect of this because my moms emotions always come first with me and then I get told that. I am more hurt that I can ever put into words.

Re: How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

I'd be hurt but I would also try to see things in a different way -- her spouse passed away a couple years ago, her mother just recently, her children are grown and can take care of themselves. She may feel that she has no one to take care of now.

Re: How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

It sounds as if it is maybe depression talking and not really how she feels.

Re: How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

I am so sorry! I'd be extremely hurt.

Re: How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

Re: How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

Re: How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

I would be so hurt. But is also sounds like you mom has depression, and needs to see someone. I know from experience that saying things out of depression that you don't really mean is not out of the ordinary. My mom also has said similar things to me, but now that she is better, I know that she didn't really mean them at the time.

Re: How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

Remind her that she has grandbabies to live for... and her own babies.

Re: How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

I would be terribly hurt....

DH said the same thing recently.
He said that this year's holidays "won't be good" due to the sudden passing of our BIL......ummmm, we are having a baby in November, do you think that would make the holidays a little more bearable?

I was terribly hurt by his comment, but I think he was just focusing more on the loss at the time.

Re: How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

Rather than quote all of the posts I agree with - I'll just say ditto to everything Kara posted.

I think she's too consumed with grief to think or speak clearly.

Re: How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

I would be hurt too but I do think that right now that is just the grief talking. I don't think she realizes that it might be hurtful to you.

She lost her mom and even though she is older she might be feeling alone...she doesn't have her mom here anymore almost like an orphan in her mind.

My MIL recently made a comment that if she knew back then what she knew today she would have never had kids. All three of her children took it in different ways and finally confronted her. What she meant was that she loves her family so much and worries about the kind of future she gave them in a world filled with violence. She wishes she could protect them from it all. Not even close to what one of them (the one most upset) thought she meant.

Message edited 10/18/2007 3:27:09 PM.

Re: How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

Ive been there. My parents were married just 49 years when my Dad passed away and when he died, Mom lost a lot of will. She would say to me "I made you all with him." To which I reponded "But we are still here." It is still very hard. As people age they often say thing before thinking how it will impact people around them. I am sure nothing was said to be hurtful.

Re: How would you feel if your mom said this to you?

my mother recently said to me....
I always wanted to live a long life to see my grandchildren have children, but now I'm ready to go when ever God wants me, so that I can see my little man again.

I know that she wants to see James and Marianna grow up and that she is grieving Anthony's death.

I didn't take offence or think what about all the other people you will be leaving behind, because truthfully if it wasn't for my own children I would fell the exact same way.

I think that your mom is grieving and maybe he feelings weren't expressed in the most politically correct way. I wouldn't hold it against her or think to much into it