I HATE MY MIL I HATE HER, I HATE HER, I HATE HER!

and DH is on the $hit list too! We are leaving this afternoon to go shopping and he says to me, can you go move my truck? I look to see where the truck was and it's right there in the driveway. So I say "why?" He then tells me that his mother might do a drive- by to see if he was home from work today. He told her he was working (but he got home early and didn't tell her). She told him he was a liar because he's "always off Monday."

***!??????????


So now this BIOTCH is going to check up on us to see if we weren't telling the truth? I hate this psycho woman, I do. I know hate is a strong word, and I mean it. In fact if I could think of a word worse than hate right now I would use that!

I got my momma's boy punk of a husband to also admih that she has done it before and had the nerve to call him out on it.

How do I get rid of this woman? I can't take it anymore and I have told DH so! He has made some adjustments, but not enough. She's awful to us, me especially, and I swear I have not done a single thing to her EVER!

I need her out of my life, and I mean completely. I don't want her to see DS. I also don't want to end up divorced, what the hell do I do?

Re: I HATE MY MIL I HATE HER, I HATE HER, I HATE HER!

Re: I HATE MY MIL I HATE HER, I HATE HER, I HATE HER!

wow. no advice really, just hugs.

Re: I HATE MY MIL I HATE HER, I HATE HER, I HATE HER!

Tell her Monday is your family day where you spend it alone. Offer to see her on Sunday's or whatever day. I make my plans for brunches at my house about 2x a month with my mil. This way it is easier for me at my own house. She still says she never sees the grandchildren. I hate going to her house, it's a saftey hazard zone!!!!

Re: I HATE MY MIL I HATE HER, I HATE HER, I HATE HER!

I need her out of my life, and I mean completely. I don't want her to see DS. I also don't want to end up divorced, what the hell do I do?



you mean, like, you need tony soprano or something?



to you-----we all totally have MIL issues, so i really dont have any advice just i know (and im sure we all know) how u feel and we can relate.......

Re: I HATE MY MIL I HATE HER, I HATE HER, I HATE HER!

I can totally sympathize with you because my own mother has done that!!! When she's wanted to do something with us and I lied and said we were busy, I know she's driven by the house to see if we were really there based her not talking to me for a day or two and then comments she made later. Now, if I fib a little, I make sure it includes something that we're busy AT HOME doing, so if she sees our cars, no biggie. Other than telling her you're home and your busy there or doing a family thing, I don't have any advice, just

Re: I HATE MY MIL I HATE HER, I HATE HER, I HATE HER!

i can def relate! i see my dh as a momma's boy. and his parents look onto him to do their paperwork and some house stuff because they know he won't object. nevermind their two other sons! granted, we live closer ;)

anyway, like you, i never did one thing to her. for so many years MIL has treated me like a dog. so.. i barked back. she and i had a huge arguement in front of her house and in front of DH. it felt D8MN good! my DS is now 6 months and MIL has only seen him 3x. and all 3x did not last more than 3mins! not to worry.. i made it that way. i just don't want to deal with her. my BIL's wife is very unhappy with our MIL's visits. i can understand she wants to see her only grandchild she's able to see but why be so rude to SIL?? MIL jsut doesn't want learn.

i'm not saying you should yell and forbid her to see your baby but defintely let her know what's up. speak to your DH first, tho. ugh! you know what.. as much as i love my DH, because of how bad some MILs are, i was thinking about divorcing. thinking. but not willing. how's about seeing a couselor w your DH? having the advisor could help DH see how hurt you are. i'm so sorry you're going through this. it's so much stress and we def do not need it! good luck.

Re: I HATE MY MIL I HATE HER, I HATE HER, I HATE HER!

you are both adults you dont have to justify your actions to you MIL
tell her to get a life of her own and stay out of yours
I hate when ILs try to run your life

my MIL is so manipulative she always has to have her way and everyone elses way is WRONG

Message edited 8/21/2007 8:52:13 AM.

Re: I HATE MY MIL I HATE HER, I HATE HER, I HATE HER!

Re: I HATE MY MIL I HATE HER, I HATE HER, I HATE HER!

You need to punish MIL and DH like you would a bad dog, or an unruly child, unfortunately. Both of them have things they want. Start taking away privileges when they do things you don't like. Tell them up front what they should/shouldn't do, and what the repercussions are for not following the rules. You have final say in who sees DS. Start taking away visitation rights. If DH doesn't start standing up to his mom, start taking away privileges for him too. (Doesn't have to be just bedroom activities). Not cooking meals for him, making him go clothes shopping with you (that's only for *REALLY* bad offenses, though.... )

Re: I HATE MY MIL I HATE HER, I HATE HER, I HATE HER!

I think you should just cut her out and tell DH if HE wants to see her, he can go to her, but she is not welcome in your home.

Re: I HATE MY MIL I HATE HER, I HATE HER, I HATE HER!

Re: I HATE MY MIL I HATE HER, I HATE HER, I HATE HER!

I would NOT move the car. I would NOT lie. I would have no reason to lie to anyone. Honestly. I think you need to just tell your husband that there is NO reason to lie to anyone about your family's whereabouts.
Did she want to come over and that is why he lied? I don't get this whole situation. There really is nothng to explain to her. I mean, he came home early from work..what is the problem?

I actually disagree about using your child as a pawn in a game or "punishing" your husband. My husband is my partner- not my child.I don't punish him. I get upset or angry but we need to work that out as adults.
And my children deserves to have a relationship with their grandparents, unless there is some abuse or bashing of me/DH to them. Does she love your child? If so, then work this out.

I would be very blunt with both of them. I do not like this lying or the game playing and I want it stopped. It is unhealthy for EVERYONE including our children. Grow the F' up is what I would want the message to be.

You can only be a player in the game if you agree to play. Next time, call your MIL yourself and say "I am not sure what is going on your son told me that you wanted to know our whereabouts today. He mentioned that you drive by to check on us. I am not sure why. But we are home and having some family time with baby. Is there something you needed?" Put this back on the game players.

Re: I HATE MY MIL I HATE HER, I HATE HER, I HATE HER!

Re: I HATE MY MIL I HATE HER, I HATE HER, I HATE HER!

Re: I HATE MY MIL I HATE HER, I HATE HER, I HATE HER!

UGH I have IL problems too so I have no advice but I know how you feel ! Sending you Hugs!