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LiPo
:(
Member since 9/06 1864 total posts
Name:
Lisa
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Re: When will she learn her comments are insensitive????
My grandmother is 93 and makes comments like that all the time to her DIL (my mom who is overweight). She would say things like "not fat like you" and other crap all the time. It took 40+ years of marriage but my mom finally told her to stop with the all the hurtful comments last year and so far so good.
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Posted 7/21/07 9:46 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: When will she learn her comments are insensitive????
I think it will be tough to get her to change too. I too have struggled with weight loss and my mom was very overweight, so comments like these really bother me. It sounds like she has some serious issues herself with food and weight. I think I would just start saying things like "wow, it must make you feel really good about yourself to put someone else down that way, Bravo...."
Sorry you have to deal with this. 
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| Posted 7/21/07 9:56 AM |
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LightUpOurLife
Totally in love
Member since 8/06 12785 total posts
Name:
Bonnie-Jean
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Re: When will she learn her comments are insensitive????
Posted by Stacey1403
I think this calls for the big guns. You have got to use her grandchild. I would say since you have no problem saying things about people who are overweight, and I have people in my family who have weight problems, I do not feel it would be good for my child to hear comments of this sort. So until you can learn to keep your comments to yourself, well then I guess you won't be seeing this baby.
Ooohhh.... another good one.
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| Posted 7/21/07 10:00 AM |
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Re: When will she learn her comments are insensitive????
Wow, I would be fuming....I'm sorry she is so insensitive. 
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| Posted 7/21/07 10:01 AM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: When will she learn her comments are insensitive????
UGH! what a shallow and nasty MIL! I am so sorry you have to deal with that. that is so RUDE!!!!!!!!! 
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| Posted 7/21/07 10:08 AM |
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dooodles
When you wish upon a star
Member since 5/05 11997 total posts
Name:
Because 2 people fell in love
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Re: When will she learn her comments are insensitive????
Thanks so much everyone. But the last thing I will ever do is to use my child as leverage to teach MIL a lesson. As insensitive as she's being, I would be lowering myself to her level by doing that. This has really bothered me ALL NIGHT long and I decided I am going to start telling her that I don't appreciate her comments each and every time she says something. And the first comment she makes in the hospital - I plan on asking her to leave the room (with a full explanation of why I need her to leave). I apologized to DH in advance for doing this, but it is something I must do.
I will speak to her about the dangers of what she says especially around children. Not only am I protective of my nieces and nephews - her grandchild/grandchildren will not be hearing these comments from their grandmother. Kids have enough to deal with from other kids being mean.
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| Posted 7/21/07 11:38 AM |
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Shanti
True love
Member since 6/05 12653 total posts
Name:
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Re: When will she learn her comments are insensitive????
Some people!
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| Posted 7/21/07 11:39 AM |
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LightUpOurLife
Totally in love
Member since 8/06 12785 total posts
Name:
Bonnie-Jean
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Re: When will she learn her comments are insensitive????
Very true point Donna about not using your baby as leverage. You are in a very difficult spot that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Having issues with family members is so rough!!!
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| Posted 7/21/07 11:59 AM |
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CAT215
The Merlster
Member since 10/06 2540 total posts
Name:
Cathie
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Re: When will she learn her comments are insensitive????
How about something like "Well your ugly but at least they can lose weight" ? Maybe a little too harsh.
It reminds me of a Winston Churchill quote, a woman says to Churchill "Sir you're drunk" and he retorts "Yes Madam and you're ugly, but at least I'll be sober in the morning"
Donna I'm sorry that you have to deal with this, maybe just sit down with her and very calmly tell her how much it upsets you? Which I'm sure you really don't feel like doing. I don't know what else to suggest.
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| Posted 7/21/07 12:01 PM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: When will she learn her comments are insensitive????
Posted by dooodles
Thanks so much everyone. But the last thing I will ever do is to use my child as leverage to teach MIL a lesson. As insensitive as she's being, I would be lowering myself to her level by doing that. This has really bothered me ALL NIGHT long and I decided I am going to start telling her that I don't appreciate her comments each and every time she says something. And the first comment she makes in the hospital - I plan on asking her to leave the room (with a full explanation of why I need her to leave). I apologized to DH in advance for doing this, but it is something I must do.
I will speak to her about the dangers of what she says especially around children. Not only am I protective of my nieces and nephews - her grandchild/grandchildren will not be hearing these comments from their grandmother. Kids have enough to deal with from other kids being mean.
I think this is a perfect solution. I have the MIL who is all about weight too- she weighs about 70 pds soaking wet and was a model in her day. I am not even overweight and I get comments- "are you going to eat THAT dear?". etc. She even offered to pay for weight watchers when I had my baby to "help lose the weight"- I was still breast feeding and had about 10 pds to lose. The woman is classless and yet lectures on people with no manners all the time.
I finally got fed up and I just tell her. I also will walk away when she does or says something hurtful. Its starting to work- she has been keeping her mouth shut- at least around me
Sorry you are going through this Donna- you are too sweet to have this in your life
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| Posted 7/21/07 12:25 PM |
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smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!
Member since 5/06 32461 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: When will she learn her comments are insensitive????
Honestly, I would ask her in front of everyone why she is "obsessed" about overweight people or your weight.
Or that if she doesn't stop talking about your weight, you will have to stop seeing her since the subjects of her conversations are very limited and not "intelligent" enough for you.
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| Posted 7/21/07 9:28 PM |
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KPsquared
Member since 5/05 4663 total posts
Name:
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Re: When will she learn her comments are insensitive????
Wow that is so rude! Guess she doesn't like me then  Right now you don't need the stress so I would not mention anything to her.
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| Posted 7/22/07 11:45 AM |
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Jackie24
~We Did it~
Member since 7/06 6718 total posts
Name:
Jackie
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Re: When will she learn her comments are insensitive????
how rude!!!!! honestly i dont know ho0w you havent told her off....or DH for that matter, anyways you are the better person and dont let her get the best of you......
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| Posted 7/22/07 8:07 PM |
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