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firsttimer
Member since 5/07 1532 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Posted by Ophelia
I have been accused of trying to intimidate people, come to think of it.
I guess I am a bully.
But I am more aggressive aggressive than passive aggressive...do I still fit the bill then? I also don't really suffer from too many self-esteem issues (besides the I hate my cellulite thing). certainly none about my personality.
what does that make me? (please feel free to answer)
Someone who bullies does it to make himself/herself feel better about himself/herself.
Someone who CHALLENGES others, does it for fun or for entertainment or for good conversation.
I don't know you but it seems like you, if you have been accused of intimidation as you stated above, probably do it to spice things up.
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Posted 7/12/07 11:44 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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J9-13
We're gonna be big sisters!
Member since 6/06 14887 total posts
Name:
J9
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
I believe in them.....
I was never really bullied in school, but when I was in JHS, I went to a very bad school. When I say bad I mean the neighborhood, kids being bused from all over the place and kids who were 16 and still in JHS! I was never targeted personally, but the kids would verbally attack you. It was never the same person, just random kids you would pass by in the hallway. I would see kids getting mugged in the halls in between classes. It was the scariest two years of my school life. The bus ride was so bad that my best friend and I decided to walk 15 blocks everyday to school no matter what the weather was like. In JHS, we had to use public transportation and the bus drivers would NEVER intervene when a kid was getting brutally beaten in the back.....it was BAD.
Some poor kids would be tormented on a daily basis. When I was in JHS, the kids were little. Not big and mature-looking like they are now.
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:45 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Posted by greenfreak
It's all subjective. People are just too complex to be lumped into main groups like that.
What it comes down to is, some people will like you and some people won't.
Stick to the people who like you and leave behind those who don't.
Everyone should try to be a better person. No one is perfect. If you think it's always someone else's problem and not yours, you've probably got some self-discovery to do.
We could all use some work.
but Greenie, people are lumped into groups.
sometimes unfairly or with pre-judice.
I agree with everything that you say. I agree that you will not get along with everyone. in fact, you're almost guaranteed not to.
but so what. it makes no one "bad" and no one "good".
but just like passing notes in school, or fming on a chat board...lines are drawn and people are "labeled" and I thought we were wayyy beyond that.
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:46 AM |
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KrisT
Two Boys for Me!!
Member since 1/07 5213 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
I have never been bullied either as a child or as an adult.
I do beleive there are bullies - especially in schools.
I had a really good experience in school and honestly, whlie I was aware that other kids were picked on, I did not realize how many people were really bullied and miserable until I was much older.
I'm not really sure if I have encountered any "bullies" in my adult life. I have met plenty of mean and nasty people, but I am not sure if I have met a "bully."
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:46 AM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Where is Charles Atlas when you need him?
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:48 AM |
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Kate07
Feel better my little guy!
Member since 5/05 4476 total posts
Name:
Kate
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
I was teased mercilessly when I was younger by a group of bullies.
Then I just realized girls are mean
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:48 AM |
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MST9106
My life:)
Member since 6/06 9589 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
I was never bullied per se, but I was tortured by boys when I was growing up...OMG...I couldn't walk past them without their stupid comments about certain developing parts of my body...I hated them...
Years later, I ran into a bunch of them (in a neighborhood bar) and they all started talking to me and telling me how much they liked me etc...I was like what?! You SOABs tormented me bc you liked me??? They were telling my husband how lucky he was etc...he also knew them when we were growing up...what a bunch of losers they were.
I understand that boys are boys but their behavior made me very subconscious of my body as I was growing up...
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:54 AM |
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Superkat
More a stranger than a friend
Member since 5/06 9730 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Posted by Ophelia
but just like passing notes in school, or fming on a chat board...lines are drawn and people are "labeled" and I thought we were wayyy beyond that.
I don't think it is possible for people to get way beyond that. For every strong person who is confident that doesn't need to bully, there is a weaker person in the shadow who feels the need to bully to make themselves known. For every good, there is an evil. It is the way of life and I don't think that will ever be rectified.
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:55 AM |
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bomb-blast
bye bye
Member since 11/06 1327 total posts
Name:
Leo
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
I go on another chat board where there are mostly, if not all, men and I don't even see one iota there of the katfighting and 'drama'  (that word needs to leave the dictionary) and all the bickering that I see on here. And men are worse when it comes to coming out and saying what they think. They will tear each other apart directly and publicly. They don't even try to sugarcoat stuff like I see on here. Oh, and the disclaimers on here are getting crazy. "I know I'll get flamed for this.." "Don't read this if you are easily offended..blah, blah, blah" Why can't people just be adults and let it slide? Nobody here is a child. It's all in fun. No one is going on a website to get all pizzed off.
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:56 AM |
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MrsNaunie
Kai helps my father dump out.
Member since 9/06 1181 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
I beleive that kids are bullied. Because most kids don't have the self confidence to stand up for themselves.
But as an adult, if you beleive you are being "bullied" that's a probelm, because adults should know how to stand up for themselves.
I really can not picture a "bully" sitaution in adulthood. It's just rediculous. If you don't like the way someone is, don't associate with them. How could you not have learned that lesson in life?
Especially if you are referring to chat boards. You don't even need to walk away.
In childhood- you HAVE to deal with these people, see them every day. As an aduilt, well- you should have learned that you have the ability to disassociate from people.
Message edited 7/12/2007 11:57:33 AM.
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:57 AM |
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TheWhiteRabbit
Thru the rabbit hole!
Member since 7/06 4412 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Message edited 9/17/2013 1:51:37 PM.
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:57 AM |
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TheWhiteRabbit
Thru the rabbit hole!
Member since 7/06 4412 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Message edited 9/17/2013 1:51:50 PM.
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:57 AM |
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greenfreak
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Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
Name:
greenfreak
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Posted by Ophelia
but Greenie, people are lumped into groups.
Doesn't make it right, though. If I've learned anything from online chat boards, it's that everyone is different and should be treated as such. I think it's human nature to label or group, but I try to break out of that.
it makes no one "bad" and no one "good".
Right. Because we shouldn't label.
but just like passing notes in school, or fming on a chat board...lines are drawn and people are "labeled" and I thought we were wayyy beyond that.
Which is where the high school mentality comes in. I think part of the difference is the intent. If you have a group of people you enjoy talking to and spending time with, more power to you. If your intent is to band together against something or someone else, to be in an exclusive club and throw that in people's faces whenever possible to make yourself feel better, then it could be termed a high school mentality. A clique if you will.
Just like people are different, so are the ones that choose to be friends with others. I'm a loyal Leo so I don't take forming friendships lightly. And I don't take ending friendships lightly either. There's usually more than one reason for it with no hope of getting past that.
Such is life. I'd rather concentrate on those who appreciate my friendship and leave the others behind. No longer focus any negative feelings toward them by bullying, etc.
(edited to fix quotes)
Message edited 7/12/2007 12:00:29 PM.
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:59 AM |
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greenfreak
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Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
Name:
greenfreak
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Posted by MrsNaunie
In childhood- you HAVE to deal with these people, see them every day. As an aduilt, well- you should have learned that you have the ability to disassociate from people.
A good policy, I think. Everyone wins. 
Unless they're related to you of course. Then you're kind of stuck.
And I must say, the serious side of you has taken me aback. 
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| Posted 7/12/07 12:06 PM |
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saraH
happy birthday sweet kate!
Member since 5/05 16555 total posts
Name:
I know that God exsists, I held her in my arms...
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
yes, they exsist. i had it pretty easy in hs, one run in, but was over and done with in a matter of days.
its awful when you have a bully in your own family.
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| Posted 7/12/07 12:13 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Posted by greenfreak
Posted by Ophelia
but Greenie, people are lumped into groups.
Doesn't make it right, though.
I am not saying at that it is. not at all.
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If your intent is to band together against something or someone else, to be in an exclusive club and throw that in people's faces whenever possible to make yourself feel better, then it could be termed a high school mentality. A clique if you will.
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this idea baffles me quite honestly. it has been thrown around A LOT here, and I find it laughable.
WHO does that? the amount of time and feeling put into caring enough to do that is far more than I can generate for an iternet chat board.
the idea of it saddens me. I don't dislike anyone. let alone enough to put that much energy into making them feel badly. that is just BEYOND
edited...b/c that just just an quoting disaster.
Message edited 7/12/2007 12:16:23 PM.
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| Posted 7/12/07 12:14 PM |
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Phyl
R.I.P. Sweet Mia ♥
Member since 5/06 28918 total posts
Name:
The Mystical Azzhorse! ™
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
In grade school these two sisters used to torment me and tried to run me down with their horses! They bullied Everyone!!!
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| Posted 7/12/07 12:14 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Posted by greenfreak
Posted by MrsNaunie
In childhood- you HAVE to deal with these people, see them every day. As an aduilt, well- you should have learned that you have the ability to disassociate from people.
A good policy, I think. Everyone wins.
Unless they're related to you of course. Then you're kind of stuck.
And I must say, the serious side of you has taken me aback.
she's like a Rubix cube. you think you know her fun crazy colors, but there is a beautiful rhyme to her as well.
we are all like that.
I guess it proves the point.
no one is ONLY the things you see of them. and they shouldn't be labeled or treated as such.
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| Posted 7/12/07 12:15 PM |
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itslaurie
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/06 509 total posts
Name:
Laurie
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Message edited 8/1/2007 3:16:05 PM.
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| Posted 7/12/07 12:18 PM |
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MsG
Should be working
Member since 5/05 2824 total posts
Name:
G
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
I saw bullying 3 jobs ago. Wow, it was crazy! It was a boss and an underlying who basically undermined everything this one person did in an attempt to discredit them. I think it can definitely go on, esp at work. I wouldn't have believed it until I saw it.
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| Posted 7/12/07 12:20 PM |
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Phyl
R.I.P. Sweet Mia ♥
Member since 5/06 28918 total posts
Name:
The Mystical Azzhorse! ™
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Posted by itslaurie
Posted by Phyl
tried to run me down with their horses!
jeez! that's a homicidal maniac - not a bully!
Yah and their Mom didn't give two sh8ts about it either when my Dad confronted her!
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| Posted 7/12/07 12:25 PM |
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greenfreak
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Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
Name:
greenfreak
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Posted by Ophelia
WHO does that?
I have a better question. Who cares?
It's not worth the time. Most people don't change their bad habits. No use in trying to get through that.
To repeat an Al-Anon/AA phrase "Live and let live". It's served me well. But only when I follow it.
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| Posted 7/12/07 12:28 PM |
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Superkat
More a stranger than a friend
Member since 5/06 9730 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Posted by greenfreak
Posted by Ophelia
WHO does that?
I have a better question. Who cares?
It's not worth the time. Most people don't change their bad habits. No use in trying to get through that.
To repeat an Al-Anon/AA phrase "Live and let live". It's served me well. But only when I follow it.
I agree completely. It isn't worth the time or energy to try to change people who are poisonous. I don't know what made them that way and I have too many important things in my life to care.
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| Posted 7/12/07 12:31 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Posted by greenfreak
Posted by Ophelia
WHO does that?
I have a better question. Who cares?
It's not worth the time. Most people don't change their bad habits. No use in trying to get through that.
To repeat an Al-Anon/AA phrase "Live and let live". It's served me well. But only when I follow it.
I was more of a rhetorical question...b/c as an almost mature adult, it's ludacris to me.
and I am not in the market to change anyone, or rid them of their habits. who am i even to judge whether they are good or bad?
even sneaky people, which is one of the only "traits" I truly abhore...I am sure their sneakiness serves them..so what can you do?
I just stay away, and keep an eye out.
but I don't whisper to the new girl "stay away from her, she's shifty"
b/c one persons experience with her may be totally different.
but anyway, that was a digression.
and I like "Live and Let Die"...but only cuz I am a Bond fan.
enjoy the day!
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| Posted 7/12/07 12:32 PM |
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GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!
Member since 1/07 14818 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Posted by MrsF519
I believe in them.....
I was never really bullied in school, but when I was in JHS, I went to a very bad school. When I say bad I mean the neighborhood, kids being bused from all over the place and kids who were 16 and still in JHS! I was never targeted personally, but the kids would verbally attack you. It was never the same person, just random kids you would pass by in the hallway. I would see kids getting mugged in the halls in between classes. It was the scariest two years of my school life. The bus ride was so bad that my best friend and I decided to walk 15 blocks everyday to school no matter what the weather was like. In JHS, we had to use public transportation and the bus drivers would NEVER intervene when a kid was getting brutally beaten in the back.....it was BAD.
Some poor kids would be tormented on a daily basis. When I was in JHS, the kids were little. Not big and mature-looking like they are now.
wow did you go to my JHS?
seriously - in elem. school i was bullied by the boys for being flat, having a big nose, being italian, never having store bought clothes ( my mom sewed all my clothes ) and being a nerd (I ended up being valedictorian).
In JHS I was bullied physically, pushed down the stairs, pushed into walls, having my bookbag grabbed off of me and then thrown in the garbage etc.
I went to an all girl HS - and then I finally became more conifdent and didnt have any more problems with bullies.
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| Posted 7/12/07 1:01 PM |
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