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Superkat
More a stranger than a friend
Member since 5/06 9730 total posts
Name:
K
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by Goldi0218
I also think that bullies come in different forms. You have your classic bully and you have your passive aggressive one. I think the latter is more dangerous. You don't always see it coming.
I think passive aggressive people have a pattern of behavior that becomes very obvious.
once you know what to look for, they might as well be wearing Christmas lights.
I guess it is too bad that is takes so long for some people to plug in the Christmas lights. But the true colors come through eventually. 
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Posted 7/12/07 11:16 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
CaseyGirl
Mommy to 3 Boys :)
Member since 5/05 19978 total posts
Name:
Jen - counting my blessings...
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Posted by ChrissynRicky
Bullies are figments of imagination....
It's another way of "society" brushing off someone not standing up to another person by classifying them as "bullies." Grow a set and defend yourself!
No way....have to disagree here. I was SUPER shy and timid when I was a kid....hence, I was an easy target. I didn't learn to stick up for myself until I was an older teen / adult. It's very hard and unless you have been there, you wouldn't understand, know what i mean?
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:17 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Posted by Superkat
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by Goldi0218
I also think that bullies come in different forms. You have your classic bully and you have your passive aggressive one. I think the latter is more dangerous. You don't always see it coming.
I think passive aggressive people have a pattern of behavior that becomes very obvious.
once you know what to look for, they might as well be wearing Christmas lights.
I guess it is too bad that is takes so long for some people to plug in the Christmas lights. But the true colors come through eventually.
that's why you put the newer lights...the lights you're not quite sure how they blink...around the outside of the house.
if they have a faulty bulb, you throw them in the yard.
only the good lights should be wrapped around your tree.
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:21 AM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Posted by CaseyGirl
Yes, bullies caused major issues for me that took a LONG time for me to get over. And I don't think they ever grow up either. I hate bullies.
ditto, I even see some bullies on here sometimes.
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:21 AM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
I encountered a bully in HS. I don't know why she hated me, but she did. her boyfriend slashed 2 of my tires in the school parking lot. I punched her in the face and got detention. it was well worth it! 
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:22 AM |
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firsttimer
Member since 5/07 1532 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by firsttimer
I have to disagree. There are real bullies out there - grown-ups and children - but we don't have to license their behavior to pick on others because their victims are mentally weak or lack self confidence.
how do we adjudge one or another to be mentally weak.
I know some very strong people who just avoid confrontation.
I know some very weak people who have a big mouth and hide behind their 'bark"
I also know some very good people, who say what they think and how they feel. they are certainly assertive, but would never "pick" on anyone.
sometimes someone gets a smack down they deserve in public for something they did on the sneak.
I hate sneaky people, both old and young.
I have no respect for people to hide behind "anonimity". or fm.
I was referring to the line "grow a set" when talking about people who lack self confidence. Some people can't, especially kids - which is who I am referencing.
If you are an adult... well I can't answer that b/c I have never been bullied as an adult or a chld for that matter.
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:23 AM |
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JustJack
:)
Member since 2/06 2041 total posts
Name:
J
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Yes, I had someone bully me in middle school. It was traumatizing. The school did nothing about it.
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:24 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Posted by kerrycec03
Posted by CaseyGirl
Yes, bullies caused major issues for me that took a LONG time for me to get over. And I don't think they ever grow up either. I hate bullies.
ditto, I even see some bullies on here sometimes.
see, I am intrigued by this. b/c although I see some opinionated people on her, I don't think it's possible to "bully" someone on a chat forum???? maybe I am missing something....
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:24 AM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by kerrycec03
Posted by CaseyGirl
Yes, bullies caused major issues for me that took a LONG time for me to get over. And I don't think they ever grow up either. I hate bullies.
ditto, I even see some bullies on here sometimes.
see, I am intrigued by this. b/c although I see some opinionated people on her, I don't think it's possible to "bully" someone on a chat forum???? maybe I am missing something....
no, I def. think its possible to bully somebody on a chat forum. When things get beyond being opinated and down right mean, then yes.
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:27 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Posted by firsttimer
I was referring to the line "grow a set" when talking about people who lack self confidence. Some people can't, especially kids - which is who I am referencing.
If you are an adult... well I can't answer that b/c I have never been bullied as an adult or a chld for that matter.
I would agree with you.
my Godson was bullied all last year.
this kid said all of the things I said in my OP to my Godson. he even has a nightmare about him. 
It breaks my heart.
and you kinda want to practice "tough love"...make them stronger and stick up for themselves...but you can't.
it breaks my heart really.
I was a pretty shy little girl. people mistaked that for being weak. It couldn't have been further for the truth.
but I don't make fun of people. I don't call people names as a general rule.
I am no angel. but I know what it feels like to be ridiculed. I wouldn't want to be responsible for anyone feeling that way.
I don't know why others think it's ok. especially a child.
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:28 AM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Not so much in school but what shocks me are the adults in this world who still bully.
Says a lot about their self-esteem, or lack there of, if they constantly have to spend their time trying to beat other people down 
I've never allowed myself to be bullied. I feel sorry for them because they obviously have serious issues.
Message edited 7/12/2007 11:28:51 AM.
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:28 AM |
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TheWhiteRabbit
Thru the rabbit hole!
Member since 7/06 4412 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Message edited 9/17/2013 1:50:43 PM.
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:28 AM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
I think there are certain personality traits in a person that do not change simply because you become an adult. If a child can feel threatened or bullied, so can an adult. There are weak adults.
ETA and the weaknesses can manifest themselves as being the bully or the victim.
Message edited 7/12/2007 11:32:46 AM.
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:31 AM |
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MrsMerlot
Unconditional Love
Member since 4/06 6005 total posts
Name:
Chrissy
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
I apologize for my 'gorw a set comment' - my response was a snarky remark I was making towards Ophelia...it was an "inside joke" and I apologize if I offended anyone.
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:33 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Posted by KittyTheStray
Posted by Ophelia
see, I am intrigued by this. b/c although I see some opinionated people on her, I don't think it's possible to "bully" someone on a chat forum???? maybe I am missing something....
I don't know if it's the same thing, but I have seen people 'gang up' on a poster before. For instance, Poster A may say something Poster B didn't like, so Poster B calls in her friends to 'back her up' - heck I have even been guilty of that before!
I am sure fm's fly back and forth between people here all the time because of certain posts or comments (I get them from all different people, not just my so-called cronies)
but as far as "back up" I don't think anyone that has her own "set" needs to call her peeps for "back up"
I know for a fact that sometimes my "friends" don't necessarily agree with what I say...and I don't expect them to.
they say birds of a feather flock together and of course the people you warm up to usually share your thoughts/opinions/views...but this Hitchcockian idea of an swarming attack very disheartening. (I am not saying you are implying this...it's just the image I have in my head)
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:33 AM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Posted by KittyTheStray
Posted by Ophelia
see, I am intrigued by this. b/c although I see some opinionated people on her, I don't think it's possible to "bully" someone on a chat forum???? maybe I am missing something....
I don't know if it's the same thing, but I have seen people 'gang up' on a poster before. For instance, Poster A may say something Poster B didn't like, so Poster B calls in her friends to 'back her up' - heck I have even been guilty of that before!
me too. It happened to me a while back on LIW. I'm not naming names, but there was a discussion that a couple of girls (who are on here and LIW still) went insane. They started posted to each other within the post. I don't want to say gang, but it kinda was. There was about 5-10 girls that dominated it and were tight and anybody who even tried to comment was attacked. I actually left LIW for a while but came back and have since made friends with a different more true crowd. Luckily that was over 2 years ago, but I still don't trust some of those girls, who remain nameless....
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:34 AM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Yes I believe in bullies. In JHS I was bullied by a couple of people. I was a "nerd," I was flat-chested in a school full of over-developed 12 year olds and I was about 15 pounds underweight. Easy target!
On the first day of school I saw the school delinquent smoking in the bathroom (cue the song!) and after I walked out, the dean walked in. Totally got the "azz is grass" thing although she never actually hit me. She was, however, 4 inches taller than me and 2 years older. I was scared!
A year later a girl in my class kind of bullied me and all of my friends, and I was the only one to stand up to her. We wound up being friends at the end of it.
No one bullies me as an adult.
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:34 AM |
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chikita315
Love
Member since 8/06 7945 total posts
Name:
M-lo
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
I think passive agressive beahvior is just that. If you are "bullied" or intimidated by that, then you are in fact passive yourself.
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:36 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
I have been accused of trying to intimidate people, come to think of it.
I guess I am a bully.
But I am more aggressive aggressive than passive aggressive...do I still fit the bill then? I also don't really suffer from too many self-esteem issues (besides the I hate my cellulite thing). certainly none about my personality.
what does that make me? (please feel free to answer)
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:39 AM |
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Ambersmom
Straight up nasty
Member since 5/05 7740 total posts
Name:
Sharon
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by kerrycec03
Posted by CaseyGirl
Yes, bullies caused major issues for me that took a LONG time for me to get over. And I don't think they ever grow up either. I hate bullies.
ditto, I even see some bullies on here sometimes.
see, I am intrigued by this. b/c although I see some opinionated people on her, I don't think it's possible to "bully" someone on a chat forum???? maybe I am missing something....
It's quite possible and it has happened several times. Thankfully alot of them have moved on by choice or otherwise 
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:41 AM |
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firsttimer
Member since 5/07 1532 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Posted by ChrissynRicky
I apologize for my 'gorw a set comment' - my response was a snarky remark I was making towards Ophelia...it was an "inside joke" and I apologize if I offended anyone.
None taken - I think is "enhanced" the conversation!
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:41 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Do I believe in them? Definitely. My feeling is that people that bully were bullied themselves or are trying to compensate for their own self-failings.
Have you ever encountered a bully?
Yes.
did they ever steal your lunch money?
No.
did they ever tell you "your azz is grazz after school?
Not in those words. In the end it wasn't necessary because after she said it in front of her friends, I approached her & whispered, if she ever threatend me again, I would beat the living cr@p out of her.
Has a bully shown its horns in your adult life?
Yes
do you allow yourself to be bullied?
No.
Wooly Bully, Wooly Bully Wooly Bully
Da doo run run run da doo run run
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:41 AM |
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greenfreak
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Member since 9/06 11483 total posts
Name:
greenfreak
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
It's all subjective. People are just too complex to be lumped into main groups like that.
What it comes down to is, some people will like you and some people won't.
Stick to the people who like you and leave behind those who don't.
Everyone should try to be a better person. No one is perfect. If you think it's always someone else's problem and not yours, you've probably got some self-discovery to do.
We could all use some work.
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:41 AM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
I think a true bully prys on the weak, can spot weak kids/adults and prys on it.
I think a bully is lacking something in everyday life that they have to make it up by putting somebody else down.
I think bullies have a very hard time of showing compassion & happiness for others without making a snarly comback.
I'm not responding to your comments if I think you are a bully or not. That's a double edged sword and you know it yourself.
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:44 AM |
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rojerono
Happiest.
Member since 8/06 13803 total posts
Name:
Jeannie
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Re: Do you believe in bullies?
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by KittyTheStray
Posted by Ophelia
see, I am intrigued by this. b/c although I see some opinionated people on her, I don't think it's possible to "bully" someone on a chat forum???? maybe I am missing something....
I don't know if it's the same thing, but I have seen people 'gang up' on a poster before. For instance, Poster A may say something Poster B didn't like, so Poster B calls in her friends to 'back her up' - heck I have even been guilty of that before!
I am sure fm's fly back and forth between people here all the time because of certain posts or comments (I get them from all different people, not just my so-called cronies)
but as far as "back up" I don't think anyone that has her own "set" needs to call her peeps for "back up"
I know for a fact that sometimes my "friends" don't necessarily agree with what I say...and I don't expect them to.
they say birds of a feather flock together and of course the people you warm up to usually share your thoughts/opinions/views...but this Hitchcockian idea of an swarming attack very disheartening. (I am not saying you are implying this...it's just the image I have in my head)
I don't think Kitty was talking about an intentional "HELP ME! SOMEONE DISAGREES WITH ME!" . I think when there is a post that you disagree with or that resonates with you - you tell your friends via FM or whatever. And if you are swimming alone - they will jump in to defend you. That is what friends do. I mean when one poster was getting strange answers to her posts - all of her friends rallied behind her and ultimately the other poster was kicked off. I don't find anything wrong with that at all.
The problem - for me - is when people jump into something and make it bigger than it needs to be because they feel like someone they care about was 'wronged' in some way. Or when they try to call another person out because that person said something that upset or ****** off their friend. Or - worst of all - when they jump in to defend a friend even though they have no opinion or flat out DISAGREE with the person they are defending. It's weird.
I don't know. I don't think you can bully people on a chat board. But I think there definitely are folks who try to intimidate other posters with their  or or just blatantly mean, intentionally cutting remarks. Don't ask me the motives or the reasons - cause I haven't the foggiest.
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| Posted 7/12/07 11:44 AM |
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