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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by Stefanie
I wouldn't have intervened at all. I would have listened but MYOB.
If I called my mother a *****, she would have beat me...and I would have deserved it. Kids have no respect for their parents nowadays. Back when I was little I feared my parents as well as respected them.
BINGO!!! 
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Posted 7/6/07 12:04 PM  |
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jxnoscar
Baby Delicious!
Member since 8/06 4156 total posts
Name:
Nancy
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by Bxgell2
I don't think anyone on LIF, or posting on this particular topic, believes that it isn't important to discipline your children. The heart of the issue is how? By physical assault? I think where people split on the issue is some believe that physical intimidation is an appropriate response in some instances, whereas others do not.
I just want to be ABUNDANTLY clear.
I do not belive that assault or "intimidation" is an appropriate response.
I believe that occasional spankings are fine in the course of disciplining your child.
I also believe that in THIS situation, the teenager probably was NOT shown proper respect or discipline and is a product of the new generation (as outlined by Don in his post) and I believe the mom is reaping the results of that now, with a daughter who does not respect her and who she has no longer a way to control.
Agree.
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| Posted 7/6/07 12:04 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
Posted by SweetestOfPeas
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
i may get heat for the following statement, but I don't care.
When I was a kid, granted, I could count on one hand the number of times I was spanked or hit - but there were times that it did happen. Not closed-fists, but open hand smacks to the face and head were not uncommon. There was also the occasional throwing of the shoes
What did it teach me? It taught me that if I acted up, there would be consequences. I still acted up from time to time, but it was on a far less scale than it would have been if I wasn't disciplined.
Every night, when I came to the dinner table, I ate what was put in front of me. If I didn't like it - I didn't eat.
If I wanted a toy or a video game or something, and my grades weren't up to par, or if I disrespected my parents - guess what? I didn't get the toy until I straightened up.
You know how many times I mouthed off to my father growing up? Once - and he put the fear of God in me so bad - I never did it again. I know he'd never really hurt me, but I'll be damned if I was going to try to test him.
Today, it's a totally different ball game. I go out and see kids acting up and I'll hear the parents say, "if you continue to act up, no ice cream." And the kids keep crying, but guess what? Ten minutes later, the kid is eating ice cream. How is that discipline?
I'm not saying all discipline needs to be physical, but I don't see anything wrong with an occasional smack, or the threat of physical punishment.
Everyone's so hopped up on abuse that the real cases that need attention are getting ignored.
Then these kids who get their way and have no respect for parents get out into the workforce and want to be praised for moving a pencil from one end of the desk to the other. I see it with the 19 and 20 year olds that come in to my office now.
I do not disagree with you. kids DEFINITELY need dicipline!
however, if you're hearing screams from 4 houses down, that IMO is not typical behavior. I stand by what I said. I would call the cops in a heartbeat and let them be the judge.
like i said in another thread - kids know how to work the system - for all we know that's what the kid WANTED you to hear.
Now, if you see this kid walking around in the next few days with bruises, by all means call CPS - but if you don't see a scratch on her, then you may have an overly dramatic case.
Plus, if this was regular abuse on the part of the mother, I don't think the kid would be calling her a b*tch. In fact, a teenager probably would've run away by now.
but that's not for me to judge. that's why we have cops. let them decide.
and I assure you that if I had EVER called my mom a b*tch, I would have been slapped right across the face, and rightfully so. but she would not have beaten the living daylights out of me.
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| Posted 7/6/07 12:04 PM |
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firsttimer
Member since 5/07 1532 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
i may get heat for the following statement, but I don't care.
When I was a kid, granted, I could count on one hand the number of times I was spanked or hit - but there were times that it did happen. Not closed-fists, but open hand smacks to the face and head were not uncommon. There was also the occasional throwing of the shoes
What did it teach me? It taught me that if I acted up, there would be consequences. I still acted up from time to time, but it was on a far less scale than it would have been if I wasn't disciplined.
Every night, when I came to the dinner table, I ate what was put in front of me. If I didn't like it - I didn't eat.
If I wanted a toy or a video game or something, and my grades weren't up to par, or if I disrespected my parents - guess what? I didn't get the toy until I straightened up.
You know how many times I mouthed off to my father growing up? Once - and he put the fear of God in me so bad - I never did it again. I know he'd never really hurt me, but I'll be damned if I was going to try to test him.
Today, it's a totally different ball game. I go out and see kids acting up and I'll hear the parents say, "if you continue to act up, no ice cream." And the kids keep crying, but guess what? Ten minutes later, the kid is eating ice cream. How is that discipline?
I'm not saying all discipline needs to be physical, but I don't see anything wrong with an occasional smack, or the threat of physical punishment.
Everyone's so hopped up on abuse that the real cases that need attention are getting ignored.
Then these kids who get their way and have no respect for parents get out into the workforce and want to be praised for moving a pencil from one end of the desk to the other. I see it with the 19 and 20 year olds that come in to my office now.
Very true -
Parents are doing a disservice to their kids when they do not discipline them. I see it EVERY DAY.
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| Posted 7/6/07 12:06 PM |
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Bowzie214
LIF Infant
Member since 7/07 138 total posts
Name:
valerie
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by Gertyrae
Because she was a teenager and fighting back with her mother, I wouldn't have gotten involved.
ITA
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| Posted 7/6/07 12:06 PM |
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lullabella
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 2246 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you have intervened?
If I heard this from four houses down and it went on longer than 10 minutes I would have absolutely called the police. Not knowing what is going on and if someone needed help, I wouldn't have thought twice.
I believe in discipling, etc.... but this situation sounds out of control.
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| Posted 7/6/07 12:09 PM |
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LittleBlueBug
Happy Mommy
Member since 9/06 4074 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you have intervened?
I believe that there is a line between a spanking and a beating. I am with you Don...I got an occasional spanking as a kid, could could on one hand how many times it happened, but it did. I do not consider that abuse. I grew up respecting my parents. I too talked back once, and never did it again. This form of discipline was only done when necessary, and only when I was young, not as a teen. It was an open hand pop on the butt and that was it.
However, DH had a really horrible childhood...beaten with belts, having his head pushed into a bowl when he didn't eat until it cut him, locked in dark basements, etc. That is excessive...that is not discipline...that is abuse. If you can hear screaming from 4 houses down, more is going on than just a quick spanking. I feel that if someone is hitting someone repeatedly and with excess force, it is probably a beating.
Now a days the line between the two has become very blurry. It's important to see the difference between the two, I think. In this case I think it sounded excessive.
Message edited 7/6/2007 12:19:39 PM.
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| Posted 7/6/07 12:14 PM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: Would you have intervened?
See this isn't about possible child abuse to me...this particular example I would have been pi$$ed that these Aholes were disturbing my evening and would have called the cops after 10 minutes for that simple fact alone
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| Posted 7/6/07 12:18 PM |
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NS1976
My princess!
Member since 5/05 6548 total posts
Name:
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
i may get heat for the following statement, but I don't care.
When I was a kid, granted, I could count on one hand the number of times I was spanked or hit - but there were times that it did happen. Not closed-fists, but open hand smacks to the face and head were not uncommon. There was also the occasional throwing of the shoes
What did it teach me? It taught me that if I acted up, there would be consequences. I still acted up from time to time, but it was on a far less scale than it would have been if I wasn't disciplined.
Every night, when I came to the dinner table, I ate what was put in front of me. If I didn't like it - I didn't eat.
If I wanted a toy or a video game or something, and my grades weren't up to par, or if I disrespected my parents - guess what? I didn't get the toy until I straightened up.
You know how many times I mouthed off to my father growing up? Once - and he put the fear of God in me so bad - I never did it again. I know he'd never really hurt me, but I'll be damned if I was going to try to test him.
Today, it's a totally different ball game. I go out and see kids acting up and I'll hear the parents say, "if you continue to act up, no ice cream." And the kids keep crying, but guess what? Ten minutes later, the kid is eating ice cream. How is that discipline?
I'm not saying all discipline needs to be physical, but I don't see anything wrong with an occasional smack, or the threat of physical punishment.
Everyone's so hopped up on abuse that the real cases that need attention are getting ignored.
Then these kids who get their way and have no respect for parents get out into the workforce and want to be praised for moving a pencil from one end of the desk to the other. I see it with the 19 and 20 year olds that come in to my office now.
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I agree with each and every word said here! No need to add a thing!
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| Posted 7/6/07 12:18 PM |
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QuoteTheRaven424
22 Months?!!!!
Member since 5/05 13659 total posts
Name:
And If That Isn't A True Blue Miracle
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by Moehick
See this isn't about possible child abuse to me...this particular example I would have been pi$$ed that these Aholes were disturbing my evening and would have called the cops after 10 minutes for that simple fact alone
and we all know what happens when you're evening is disturbed 
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| Posted 7/6/07 12:20 PM |
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Moehick
Ready for the sun!
Member since 5/05 30339 total posts
Name:
Properly perfect™
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
Posted by Moehick
See this isn't about possible child abuse to me...this particular example I would have been pi$$ed that these Aholes were disturbing my evening and would have called the cops after 10 minutes for that simple fact alone
and we all know what happens when you're evening is disturbed
Damn right
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| Posted 7/6/07 12:22 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: Would you have intervened?
I never disrespected my parents and my parents NEVER, not once, spanked or put a finger on any of us. We made some big mistakes as kids and we didn't need to be hit, let alone repeatedly, to be punished and learn our lesson.
If the mother was repeatedly hitting the child, yes, I'd have called the cops. Repeatedly hitting a child who is screaming for the parent to stop crosses a line. Sorry if you folks feel differently.
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| Posted 7/6/07 12:22 PM |
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Kara
Now Zagat Rated!
Member since 3/07 13217 total posts
Name:
They call me "Tater Salad"
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by Stefanie
I wouldn't have intervened at all. I would have listened but MYOB.
If I called my mother a *****, she would have beat me...and I would have deserved it. Kids have no respect for their parents nowadays. Back when I was little I feared my parents as well as respected them.
So did I and my parent's didn't hit me.
Lack of discipline versus lack of physical discipline are two different things. You can be a strict disciplinarian without hitting.
ETA - And I'm not saying I'd intervene if a child was being spanked... That's none of my business even if I disagree... It sounded from the OP that the child was being hit repeatedly for a while. I don't think I could sit there and listen without doing something... I guess I would have had to be there to make the call. If I thought the child was being beaten, I'd have called, even if it were the first time I heard it. If the child were spanked (and I can't see that needing to last a long time), I don't think I'd have intervened.
However, I think anytime neighbors are screaming that loudly for a long period of time, I might have called just based on that.
Message edited 7/6/2007 12:30:01 PM.
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| Posted 7/6/07 12:24 PM |
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GenLCSW
Baby # 3 is here!!!
Member since 7/05 21138 total posts
Name:
Genna
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by 5ofClubs
I would have called the police.
me too
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| Posted 7/6/07 1:15 PM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Wow. I took DS for a walk and a nap and look what I missed.
It seems pretty split as to who would call and who wouldn't. Which is where we were last night.
This was the first time in 6 years I have ever heard anything like this from that house, which was another thing DH pointed out. It's not like it was happening all the time.
A big thing I was having issue with is the girl called her mom a b!tch very early on in the argument.
Then the mom did proceed to say how she didn't raise her to speak that way and didn't teach her to use those words. 
But I would say every 4th word out of the mom's mouth was a curse...and the big ones too.
Not exactly a great example, but then again she is an adult.
Either way I didn't call. If it happens again I may consider it.
Thanks everyone for the opinions.
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| Posted 7/6/07 1:25 PM |
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JandJ1224
Member since 6/06 5911 total posts
Name:
Jannette
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Re: Would you have intervened?
I grew up in a house with 3 teenage girls and a single mom. I can definitely say that I would not call the cops in this situation. I am sure there have been plenty of fights heard by our neighboors where they would think we were being killed in our house. I can say that is certainly not the case. I think a lot of times fights can sound much worse than they really are.
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| Posted 7/6/07 1:30 PM |
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pinkandblue
Our family is complete, maybe
Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by Moehick
My daughter will learn respect without being physically abused just like I did
same with me
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| Posted 7/6/07 1:54 PM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by Gertyrae
Because she was a teenager and fighting back with her mother, I wouldn't have gotten involved.
Ditto...I'm sorry but I called my mom a b*&ch she would have hit me too
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| Posted 7/6/07 2:51 PM |
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Reese1106
Family of 4! :o)
Member since 8/06 6655 total posts
Name:
Theresa
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Re: Would you have intervened?
I would have called the police if it was clear there was physical abuse happening or if the screaming fight was happening in the middle of the night.
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| Posted 7/6/07 3:09 PM |
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charon54
My two boys!
Member since 5/05 7279 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: Would you have intervened?
I would only call if it was a regular thing and if it wasn't part of an argument. Frankly, my parents hit us all the time as kids, and most of the time we deserved it. If I called my mom a ***** I would have been slapped by my dad.
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| Posted 7/6/07 3:37 PM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by BellaPaige
Posted by cpanyc
This is part of the problem with teenagers today. Parents can't discipline a kid without the whole world crying "abuse". Kids know this and they use it. They have no fear, so they say and do what they want and thumb their nose at adults because we can't touch them.
ITA!!
Most of you know all sorts of stories about my youngest brother-
One of the last time the police were called- my brother had they never to talk back to the officer...
The officers reply was "You need a good ol' fashion spanking" My brothers wise *** came back with "its against the law to hit your kids"
The officer closed with "Its against the law to ABUSE your kids- You have a beautiful home, food on the table, clothes on your back, no bruises or burns, You are CLEARLY not abused- its not against the law to use corporal punishment!"
IMO, This is exactly what was going on in this case- The OP said nothing about this being a regualr occurence, and as someone previously stated if this child was abused she wouldve never stood up to her abuser by calling her a b!tch...
I dont think I would of called... and if I did I would not call and report it as abuse, rather than a domestic dispute/disturbing the peace.
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| Posted 7/6/07 9:25 PM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Honestly, I would have called the police. My rationale being: If something was seriously wrong, hopefully the police could intervene and if nothing was that serious, then no harm done. Maybe if anything, if nothign was serious, it would send the message that they need to keep it down a bit.
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| Posted 7/6/07 9:28 PM |
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05mommy09
Family of 5!
Member since 5/05 15364 total posts
Name:
<3 Mommy <3
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by nycchic24
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
i may get heat for the following statement, but I don't care.
When I was a kid, granted, I could count on one hand the number of times I was spanked or hit - but there were times that it did happen. Not closed-fists, but open hand smacks to the face and head were not uncommon. There was also the occasional throwing of the shoes
What did it teach me? It taught me that if I acted up, there would be consequences. I still acted up from time to time, but it was on a far less scale than it would have been if I wasn't disciplined.
Every night, when I came to the dinner table, I ate what was put in front of me. If I didn't like it - I didn't eat.
If I wanted a toy or a video game or something, and my grades weren't up to par, or if I disrespected my parents - guess what? I didn't get the toy until I straightened up.
You know how many times I mouthed off to my father growing up? Once - and he put the fear of God in me so bad - I never did it again. I know he'd never really hurt me, but I'll be damned if I was going to try to test him.
Today, it's a totally different ball game. I go out and see kids acting up and I'll hear the parents say, "if you continue to act up, no ice cream." And the kids keep crying, but guess what? Ten minutes later, the kid is eating ice cream. How is that discipline?
I'm not saying all discipline needs to be physical, but I don't see anything wrong with an occasional smack, or the threat of physical punishment.
Everyone's so hopped up on abuse that the real cases that need attention are getting ignored.
Then these kids who get their way and have no respect for parents get out into the workforce and want to be praised for moving a pencil from one end of the desk to the other. I see it with the 19 and 20 year olds that come in to my office now.
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I agree with each and every word said here! No need to add a thing!
ITA- Its a pretty scary world when you and I agree on quite a few things lately
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| Posted 7/6/07 9:31 PM |
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annie
This is how I play basketball!
Member since 6/05 1980 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Would you have intervened?
my initial response was definitely yes, but the more I think about it, i'm not so sure...
i deal with teenagers every day who treat their parents so horribly, and i always say to myself, boy does he need a good smack from his mother!!
teenagers can be nightmares to discipline, and while i pledge to never ever lay a hand on my own child, i wouldn't condemn that mother. that girl was wayyyyyyyyy out of line.
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| Posted 7/6/07 10:12 PM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Would you have intervened?
By the way, maybe it's from my past experiences dealing with troubled teens, but I would not be fearing for the child's safety only, I would fear for the safety of the parent and any other people in the house. That being said, if you're not in the house, you really do not know what's going on, so for some people that means NOT calling, for me, that means calling because it's better safe than sorry.
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| Posted 7/6/07 10:17 PM |
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