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nrthshgrl
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by QuoteTheRaven424
i wouldn't have gotten involved
it's a teenager - and plus, even though it SOUNDED like she was getting hit, you had no visual proof
So if it was a child & it sounded like they were getting hit, but you had no visual proof, you would???
I think being hit/spanked is one thing but a teenager that is repeatedly getting hit...I would call.
Message edited 7/6/2007 10:09:09 AM.
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Posted 7/6/07 10:08 AM  |
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My2Boys
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Re: Would you have intervened?
If I was 100% sure that the mother was "beating" her CHILD, I would have called the police. Maybe it would stop the mother from doing it again. 
FTR, I *have* called the police re: a domestic disturbance before.
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| Posted 7/6/07 10:10 AM |
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pmpkn087
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Re: Would you have intervened?
No, I would not have called. There were plenty of times the neighbors could have called on my mom, if that was the case. How someone chooses to disapline their child is none of my business.
However, if it was an every day occurance, then I might think differently.
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| Posted 7/6/07 10:10 AM |
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2PreciousBlessings
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by Ophelia
If my daughter (or son) ever called me a b1tch, i would slap the ever loving sh1t out of her.
Me too. The daughter obviously does not have any respect at all.
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| Posted 7/6/07 10:11 AM |
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Ophelia
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Re: Would you have intervened?
the girl had a enough "balls" to go toe to toe with her mom in a screaming match. I don't think there was abuse there...maybe a much needed and long-time coming old fashioned Dr. Spock wouldn't approve arsewhipping.
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| Posted 7/6/07 10:12 AM |
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mtnmama
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Message edited 7/7/2009 9:15:31 AM.
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| Posted 7/6/07 10:15 AM |
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My2Boys
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by BellaPaige
Posted by Ophelia
If my daughter (or son) ever called me a b1tch, i would slap the ever loving sh1t out of her.
Me too. The daughter obviously does not have any respect at all.
Sorry ladies, but respect is EARNED, not a given. You live what you learn.
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| Posted 7/6/07 10:15 AM |
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~Colleen~
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by My2Boys
If I was 100% sure that the mother was "beating" her CHILD, I would have called the police. Maybe it would stop the mother from doing it again.
FTR, I *have* called the police re: a domestic disturbance before.
I would do the same...and I have called the police re: a domestic disturbance as well. Not that they did anything 
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| Posted 7/6/07 10:16 AM |
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Bxgell2
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by Ophelia
the girl had a enough "balls" to go toe to toe with her mom in a screaming match. I don't think there was abuse there...maybe a much needed and long-time coming old fashioned Dr. Spock wouldn't approve arsewhipping.
I disagree - I called my mom a ****** once, and I learned to never do it again, but not because my mother gave me an arsewhipping. There are other, effective ways to discipline a child, or a teenager, other than hitting them. The mother is an adult, the teenager is just that - a teenager. As an adult, I don't think it's ever appropriate to start hitting the teenager, especially to the point where the teenager is screaming for the parent to stop.
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| Posted 7/6/07 10:17 AM |
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Ophelia
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by My2Boys
Posted by BellaPaige
Posted by Ophelia
If my daughter (or son) ever called me a b1tch, i would slap the ever loving sh1t out of her.
Me too. The daughter obviously does not have any respect at all.
Sorry ladies, but respect is EARNED, not a given. You live what you learn.
what kind of a comment is that?
I respect my parents. very much. but when I stepped out of line, I got spanked. end of story.
I would NEVER EVER, in 400 MILLION YEARS call my mother anything remotely resembling a *****. I would not have lived to see the next day.
children naturally push buttons and limits. Yes, the parent sets an example, but children will always test the limits. it's human nature.
How do you propose, other than caring for your child it's whole life, that a parent "earn" the respect of the child?
are your boys teens yet by any chance? did you have younger siblings?
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| Posted 7/6/07 10:18 AM |
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Ophelia
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by Ophelia
the girl had a enough "balls" to go toe to toe with her mom in a screaming match. I don't think there was abuse there...maybe a much needed and long-time coming old fashioned Dr. Spock wouldn't approve arsewhipping.
I disagree - I called my mom a ****** once, and I learned to never do it again, but not because my mother gave me an arsewhipping. There are other, effective ways to discipline a child, or a teenager, other than hitting them. The mother is an adult, the teenager is just that - a teenager. As an adult, I don't think it's ever appropriate to start hitting the teenager, especially to the point where the teenager is screaming for the parent to stop.
that's fine, for you. I grew up differently. Like I said, I would NEVER disrepect my parents.
I disagree. I think any cnild that screams at their parent has NO respect for the parent. and talking does not always work.
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| Posted 7/6/07 10:21 AM |
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2PreciousBlessings
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by My2Boys
Posted by BellaPaige
Posted by Ophelia
If my daughter (or son) ever called me a b1tch, i would slap the ever loving sh1t out of her.
Me too. The daughter obviously does not have any respect at all.
Sorry ladies, but respect is EARNED, not a given. You live what you learn.
Never once in my life did I ever called my mom or any adult a b&tch. That is just ridiculous. I was taught to respect my parents and any adults . She obviously needs a slap.
Where I am from these kinds of behavior are unacceptable. Children are taught to have respect or else we would pay the consequences.
Message edited 7/6/2007 10:23:19 AM.
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| Posted 7/6/07 10:21 AM |
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~Colleen~
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Member since 5/05 9129 total posts
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Re: Would you have intervened?
There is some truth to theories that those who were abused, go on to abuse. It is a learned behavior. A parent who is constantly berating or hiting a child is doing nothing but reinforcing that that type of behavior is acceptable. Then when the child becomes a teen/adult, society wonders why they didn't get an arsewhooping as a child  It's cyclical in some situations.
In order to be respected, you have to respect. I don't believe in instilling fear into a child in order to get them to stay in line. If you don't have the patience to raise your child with the respect s/he deserves (as a fellow human being) then don't be surprised when they "turn on you" down the line.
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| Posted 7/6/07 10:26 AM |
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pinkandblue
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by My2Boys
Posted by BellaPaige
Posted by Ophelia
If my daughter (or son) ever called me a b1tch, i would slap the ever loving sh1t out of her.
Me too. The daughter obviously does not have any respect at all.
Sorry ladies, but respect is EARNED, not a given. You live what you learn.
absolutely 
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| Posted 7/6/07 10:27 AM |
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Bxgell2
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Beth
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by Ophelia
the girl had a enough "balls" to go toe to toe with her mom in a screaming match. I don't think there was abuse there...maybe a much needed and long-time coming old fashioned Dr. Spock wouldn't approve arsewhipping.
I disagree - I called my mom a ****** once, and I learned to never do it again, but not because my mother gave me an arsewhipping. There are other, effective ways to discipline a child, or a teenager, other than hitting them. The mother is an adult, the teenager is just that - a teenager. As an adult, I don't think it's ever appropriate to start hitting the teenager, especially to the point where the teenager is screaming for the parent to stop.
that's fine, for you. I grew up differently. Like I said, I would NEVER disrepect my parents.
I disagree. I think any cnild that screams at their parent has NO respect for the parent. and talking does not always work.
Oh, I agree - a child or teenager that screams at their parent and calls them derogatory names clearly has no respect. But I think there are a slew of disciplinary respones that the parent can return with, other than a physical response. And, if I clearly heard that a parent was repeatedly hitting the teenager, and the teenager was screaming for the parent to stop, I would definitely call the police to intervene.
Our new neighbors that moved in are HUGE screamers (it's a shame - they are quite loud in front of their three little girls). The father has a temper like I've never witnessed - in a few short weeks he's done more damage to the home in one of his rages than I could imagine. BUT, I've never witnessed or heard anything that would lead me to beleive that he's making any physical contact with anyone in the house. If I ever do hear anything that makes me believe that he is, I would immediately call the police.
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| Posted 7/6/07 10:27 AM |
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My2Boys
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Re: Would you have intervened?
How do you propose, other than caring for your child it's whole life, that a parent "earn" the respect of the child?
are your boys teens yet by any chance? did you have younger siblings?
What I mean is that a parent has a responsibility to treat their child with respect. The ppl in this situation have, I'm sure, gone toe-to-toe before. This child was probably raised in a home where name-calling, screaming and even physical abuse is the norm.
If I ever called my mom a bytch, I also would have been slapped from here to tomorrow, but I NEVER would have even imagined calling my mother names because that's not what I was taught.
My boys are 2 and 4, so hardly teenagers. I'm not so naive to think that they may never call me a name (certainly behind my back to their friends  ), but I hope that I can continue to set a good example on how to treat others and teach them what mutual respect is.
I'm one of nine. I have 5 older and 3 younger siblings. My mother practically raised us on her own.
Message edited 7/6/2007 10:30:43 AM.
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| Posted 7/6/07 10:28 AM |
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pinkandblue
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Member since 9/05 32436 total posts
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Stephanie
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by Ophelia
Posted by My2Boys
Posted by BellaPaige
Posted by Ophelia
If my daughter (or son) ever called me a b1tch, i would slap the ever loving sh1t out of her.
Me too. The daughter obviously does not have any respect at all.
Sorry ladies, but respect is EARNED, not a given. You live what you learn.
what kind of a comment is that?
I respect my parents. very much. but when I stepped out of line, I got spanked. end of story.
I would NEVER EVER, in 400 MILLION YEARS call my mother anything remotely resembling a *****. I would not have lived to see the next day.
children naturally push buttons and limits. Yes, the parent sets an example, but children will always test the limits. it's human nature.
How do you propose, other than caring for your child it's whole life, that a parent "earn" the respect of the child?
are your boys teens yet by any chance? did you have younger siblings?
I would never call my mom a B!tch either but that is because she showed me respect and treated me fairly....who knows what is going on in that house....but beating (or hitting, spanking) your child does nothing but teach them that it is okay to hit someone when you are angry...that is not an okay lesson to teach your child IMHO
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| Posted 7/6/07 10:28 AM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
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remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by ~Colleen~
There is some truth to theories that those who were abused, go on to abuse. It is a learned behavior. A parent who is constantly berating or hiting a child is doing nothing but reinforcing that that type of behavior is acceptable. Then when the child becomes a teen/adult, society wonders why they didn't get an arsewhooping as a child It's cyclical in some situations.
In order to be respected, you have to respect. I don't believe in instilling fear into a child in order to get them to stay in line. If you don't have the patience to raise your child with the respect s/he deserves (as a fellow human being) then don't be surprised when they "turn on you" down the line.
I'm sorry. I didn't read anything about "abuse" here at all.
I believe there is a line between the two...a VERY VERY THICK AND BRIGHT line.
I know all about the cycles of child abuse. I know how destructive they can be.
I also know that an abused child would not have had the cheek to stand up to their "abuser". this girl was just disrespectful. not a "victim".
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| Posted 7/6/07 10:32 AM |
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BabyAvocado
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by My2Boys
Sorry ladies, but respect is EARNED, not a given.
Yes, and as that girl's mother - she EARNED that respect when she carried her in her body for 9 months and gave birth to her. Period.
At least, that's how I was raised.
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| Posted 7/6/07 10:33 AM |
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mtnmama
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Message edited 7/7/2009 9:14:40 AM.
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| Posted 7/6/07 10:35 AM |
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2PreciousBlessings
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by cpanyc
This is part of the problem with teenagers today. Parents can't discipline a kid without the whole world crying "abuse". Kids know this and they use it. They have no fear, so they say and do what they want and thumb their nose at adults because we can't touch them.
ITA!!
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| Posted 7/6/07 10:35 AM |
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GioiaMia
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by cpanyc
This is part of the problem with teenagers today. Parents can't discipline a kid without the whole world crying "abuse". Kids know this and they use it. They have no fear, so they say and do what they want and thumb their nose at adults because we can't touch them.
i totally agree
i told my mother i hated her once and the beating i got was RIDICULOUS. . .i got hit all the time. Am I some insanely violent person now? Absolutely not. . . but even though I am 24 if I say something out of line and I get the "look" I know to watch my step and that's that end of story. There is nothing wrong with discipline - I believe that kids now NEED some fear in order to behave!
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| Posted 7/6/07 10:36 AM |
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Bxgell2
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by Ophelia
I'm sorry. I didn't read anything about "abuse" here at all.
I believe there is a line between the two...a VERY VERY THICK AND BRIGHT line.
I know all about the cycles of child abuse. I know how destructive they can be.
I also know that an abused child would not have had the cheek to stand up to their "abuser". this girl was just disrespectful. not a "victim".
Physical abuse is just that - acting physically on another - it does not mean it has to happen on an ongoing basis, every week, every month, every year. Once is enough in my mind. A physical response to a situation, i.e., laying your hands in an aggressive, assaultive manner, is never an appropriate response, unless in self-defense.
A solitary slap to the face, a smack to the tushy - that, in my opinion, is much, much different than a parent who has taken it so far that a child, or teenager, is repeatedly screaming no, or stop.
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| Posted 7/6/07 10:37 AM |
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ziamaria
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Re: Would you have intervened?
nah, the girl called her mom a ***** and refused to follow directions. the mom had to do what she had to do. teenagers walk a fine line and need to be treated in a manner that is appropriate to their behavior....now if she was like 8 or something, then maybe i'd call, otherwise, i think its a typical age thing going on
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| Posted 7/6/07 10:37 AM |
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Ophelia
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remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: Would you have intervened?
Posted by stephanief
I would never call my mom a B!tch either but that is because she showed me respect and treated me fairly....who knows what is going on in that house....but beating (or hitting, spanking) your child does nothing but teach them that it is okay to hit someone when you are angry...that is not an okay lesson to teach your child IMHO
exactly NO ONE KNOWS...so why is this mother all of the sudden an "abuser"
My sister was the Queen of Screams. She started before she got hit, and continued waayyyy after, bloody blue murder at the top of her lungs.
Spanking the child doesn't teach them it's ok to hit. It is a "reinforcement" tool. it's not a throwdown.
you don't have to use it. all should raise their kids how they are most comfortable.
I hope to God that I am never in that situation. b/c I can't imagine how much it would hurt to have my daughter talk to me like that.
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| Posted 7/6/07 10:37 AM |
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