How did DH react when you first told him

he was going to be a father??? is anyone else's DH stiff to the point its upsetting me??? He says i'm over-reacting and that i just want him to act like a screaming Tom Cruise??? he is REALLY annoying me

Message edited 2/14/2007 9:41:16 PM.

Re: How did DH react when you first told him

over-reacting to what?

You mean hes not excited? Stiff as in unbelieving?
For us it was a struggle with lots of infertility treatments and so DH was excited.

I would freak out on him if he wasnt

Message edited 2/14/2007 9:21:22 PM.

Re: How did DH react when you first told him

Mine looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language. Then we laughed straight for about 10 minutes. We struggled for so long that we didn't believe it.

Re: How did DH react when you first told him

over-reacting to him being such a stiff!!! i'm really upset about it tonight. I caved and gave him the bib that i thought was so cute "I love daddy" and he barely looked at it and said he doesn't believe in this stuff. he's just too uptight/disciplined for me. He only gets excited about his stupid stuff.

yes he doesn't seem excited to me. he's just an a**& tonite

Message edited 2/14/2007 9:24:54 PM.

Re: How did DH react when you first told him

Posted by Bklyngrl

over-reacting to him being such a stiff!!! i'm really upset about it tonight. I caved and gave him the bib that i thought was so cute "I love daddy" and he barely looked at it and said he doesn't believe in this stuff. he's just too uptight/disciplined for me. He only gets excited about his stupid stuff

Re: How did DH react when you first told him

I know it's hard, but try to let it go for the night. It's hard to have a discussion when you're emotional. Let the sun come up and have a talk. Everyone reacts differently.

And what stuff doesn't he believe in?

Re: How did DH react when you first told him

thanks. i just can't stop crying like a dope! i won't show him though - he's in the other room. He's superstitious - thinks its bad luck that i gave him an "I love daddy' valentine bib. Just like he says he's happy but he thinks we should postpone our house search now that i'm pg because i'll want to be closer to my parents etc... bottom line. I know him and i have seen him get excited about ballgames, his work, etc... i have yet to see that reaction about his child and it hurts

Re: How did DH react when you first told him

Re: How did DH react when you first told him

He might be like me at the beginning of my pregnancy. I was VERY apprehensive and I didn't buy any bigger clothes until I HAD to. I barely showed happiness until I heard the heartbeat at 10 weeks. We all react differently.

Re: How did DH react when you first told him

Try not to take his reactions to heart. You guys were trying to get pg so you know he WANTS to be a father, he's obviously scared of a m/c or other problems.

When I got pg after i had a miscarriage, my dh was cautiously happy & was kind of acting like it wasn't true. When I finally got upset & asked why he wasn't getting excited, he said he was so hurt by the m/c that he didn't want to get hurt again.

His attitude changed after the first sonogram & I'm sure your dh's will too

Re: How did DH react when you first told him

At first he wasn't excited just because I had m/c the month before. He stayed pretty cautious until almost 12 weeks, and then he relaxed and got excited.

Re: How did DH react when you first told him

first of all,

do you think that some of what you might be seeing in DH is his feeling like this is surreal and not really happening? because i've had this convo with my DH. sure, he's excited, but he's still finding it hard to believe that it's actually true.

i certainly feel like it's true, but that's because my body is going through all sorts of changes! DH doesn't really have anything tangible to grab onto... so it's sometimes hard for him to even believe it. just a thought...

Re: How did DH react when you first told him

Is it all still new?

Guys react to things differently - ballgames and work are very concrete and in the here and now... A baby that is eventually coming down the road is just not flesh and blood for some people, so to speak, so it just may not sink in, or just be hard to grasp as real...

Pregnancy is our time, really. We are the ones with this baby - guys sort of wait around for the baby to be born. They will go to the sonos, feel the kicking and moving, but it will never really feel real to them, plain and simple.... Work and ballgames are very real - you are there, a baby in your body - well, that takes time to be real....

Re: How did DH react when you first told him

when i told dh he was just shocked and then he had this huge smile and asked if it was for real!!
I'm probably more excited than him because this is something that us girls have thought about since we were so little and its actually happening!

Re: How did DH react when you first told him

Men react differently to this kind of news. My DH, although he was happy, didn't "get excited" right away. He reacted very surprised and seemed kind of shell-shocked for awhile. Even though we'd discussed trying for a baby ad nauseam and purposefully tried for this baby, he was still very thrown by how quickly it happend. In fact, his FIRST reaction was, "I thought it would take a few months...."

Being that I'm "cautious" by nature, I was equally as shocked, so I didn't take it to heart.

He says now that when he found out he was going to be a father, his first thought wasn't, "Yay, we're having a baby!!" It was more like, "OMG, I have to provide for my child, take care of my wife, what if something goes wrong, do we REALLY have the money..." He didn't want to upset me, so rather than share his feelings of beiing overwhelmed, he just acted nonchalant.

Now, he's head over heels with the idea of being a father. We laugh about the original feelings of apprehension.

Re: How did DH react when you first told him

I think mine was in shock for about 10 seconds, and then very excited. We hugged and kissed in the kitchen then made a few calls. Maybe we chould have waited on the calls but luckily things are going well. We were both just so excited.

Its a big shock to some and guys are notorious for boxing up emotions and being stoic about things. Its proly all just sinking in. Talk to him about how you're feeling and make sure he's involved, I'm sure he'll start to warm up to things.

Message edited 2/15/2007 9:03:13 AM.

Re: How did DH react when you first told him

Re: How did DH react when you first told him

Dh was cyring and smiling he was so excited. We both wanted a baby for so long so we were overjoyed.

Re: How did DH react when you first told him

Im sorry...my husband was beyond ecstatic...it was hard for him to believe until he saw the test...it takes longer for some men to sink in...

Re: How did DH react when you first told him

thank you girls. i feel better today - i think i was more upset last night because he doesn't realize that i'm scared, nervous and worried too but i'm trying not to stress on the "what ifs" and focus on the happiness. I'm a worrier by nature so seeing him like that doesn't help me. Anyway, thank you for letting me vent and for your reassurance

P.S. i ate 2 of the chocolate covered strawberries

Re: How did DH react when you first told him

Posted by Bklyngrl

thank you girls. i feel better today - i think i was more upset last night because he doesn't realize that i'm scared, nervous and worried too but i'm trying not to stress on the "what ifs" and focus on the happiness. I'm a worrier by nature so seeing him like that doesn't help me. Anyway, thank you for letting me vent and for your reassurance

P.S. i ate 2 of the chocolate covered strawberries

Re: How did DH react when you first told him

I know exactly how you are feeling. My DH was NOT excited when I told him I was pg. He actually didn't really come around until the end of my pg. We had been married less than 2 months when I found out. He was so worried about how he was going to provide bc he was still in law school at the time and we needed to move bc our lease was up. Just give him some time and let him sort out his feelings. Hopefully he'll become excited sooner than my DH did, but I guarantee that once the baby comes he'll be a totally different person.

Re: How did DH react when you first told him

Posted by Bklyngrl

thank you girls. i feel better today - i think i was more upset last night because he doesn't realize that i'm scared, nervous and worried too but i'm trying not to stress on the "what ifs" and focus on the happiness. I'm a worrier by nature so seeing him like that doesn't help me. Anyway, thank you for letting me vent and for your reassurance

P.S. i ate 2 of the chocolate covered strawberries

Re: How did DH react when you first told him

It is still very early for you and I think men are more cautious than we are in general. DH still is very calm about the whole thing....and I am 25 weeks!