I don't mean to start drama

but what is so wrong with day care?

I am the product of day care and I actually think it was GOOD for me. I see it with my neice as well, she has excellent socialization skills and is only 15 months old.

Most day cares have highly skilled teachers or providers who will be a good support system for your child.

I don't know why day care gets such a bad rap, I mean, I am sure the first time I have to leave my son I will be VERY upset, but I know he and I both will be looking foward to seeing each other again. We are leaving him with my SMIL at first on days when both DH and I have to work, but that is mainly because DH's schedule changes every week and we wouldn't know what days to put him IN day care, but eventually he will be in day care.

Like I said, I don't mean to start drama, I honestly don't understand this debate.

Re: I don't mean to start drama

I think you have a very valid point...I was a product of daycare and before I got into kindergarden I could write my name. It was a great experience and I had lots of friends to have playdates with. I personally see nothing wrong with daycare - and will be taking full advantage of all that it has to offer.

I know my first day will be hard - but at the same time the first day of school would be hard - heck when I send them off to college it'll be hard but the reality is it's hard for me. The child will be in a good place with excellent care.

I get sensitive on the topic because I have been the recipient of many rude comments - not here...friends and family. I don't believe they mean to be harsh but it gets hard to deal with. The worst is - so you aren't going to raise your child... I mean seriously - how does one even say that to another person let alone think it?


ETA: with all my rambling....I don't think anything is wrong with daycare.

Message edited 1/4/2007 9:24:03 AM.

Re: I don't mean to start drama

Where has there been a debate? If there has been one, I have been completely oblivious to it!

I am sending my baby to daycare. I have had comments from older moms who may have been able to stay at home to raise their kids, giving me the pitiful looks and saying, "oh - your sending your baby so soon?"

I worked in day care after college. There were some wonderful providers there. I love that the kids get exposed to academics early on, and enjoy early socialization as well.

Aren't there a lot of ladies on here sending their kids to day care?

Re: I don't mean to start drama

For me, daycare was not something I wanted to do if I had children, only because I was never in one as a child - no pre-school either - they didn't have them back then. Also, none of my sisters or brother's children went to daycare. It was just something I had been raised on - if you have children, one parent should be home with them. If you couldn't, then you were not in a position to have a child if you weren't the one to take care of them. I don't say this to pass judgement on anyone else, it is just how I was raised. Funny, though, life's circumstances for me, not only has me pregnant for the first time, but forces me into using daycare for my baby. I seriously did not consider having children because my situation didin't allow for me to stay at home with the baby until at least pre-school age. I felt it was better to sacrifice not having children then sacrificing raising the child without a parent at home full time. It may be an old fashioned opinion & like I said, it is not judgmental in any way, it is just how I was brough up.

Re: I don't mean to start drama

I dont think there is anything wrong with daycare.

I kinda wish that I was able to stay home with my baby for 3 years at least--but you know what? He/she will probably learn more about sharing/life by interacting with other children in daycare.

Even if I was a stay at home mom, I would enroll my child in some sort of classes so that he/she can benefit from the interaction with others

Re: I don't mean to start drama

Posted by lipglossjunky73

Where has there been a debate? If there has been one, I have been completely oblivious to it!

I am sending my baby to daycare. I have had comments from older moms who may have been able to stay at home to raise their kids, giving me the pitiful looks and saying, "oh - your sending your baby so soon?"

I worked in day care after college. There were some wonderful providers there. I love that the kids get exposed to academics early on, and enjoy early socialization as well.

Aren't there a lot of ladies on here sending their kids to day care?

Message edited 1/4/2007 9:29:57 AM.

Re: I don't mean to start drama

Re: I don't mean to start drama

I was brought up that way to - where mom always stayed home, but times have changed - families could afford to do that back then.

DH is 43, and I'm 33. If we were going to wait until we could afford to have kids and stay home with them, we would have to be trying for grandkids!

not for nothing, but some of the the kids I see with SAHMs (not all - just some!) are shy and scared around strangers, and very clingy to mom. My nephew was a snivelling mess until this year - when his mom finally cut the strings a little and let him go to preschool. Now, he is more confident, he is talking at age 3 (somethign he was not doing before preschool because mom would do the talking for him) and actually walking around away from her a little more....

To be a SAHM in LI is like a mythical figure for me... I'm amazed that it is possible - but I have seen some from time to time... But the dad is usually working all day and coming home at 10 o'clock, never seeing the kids at all.

Re: I don't mean to start drama

I don't think there is anything wrong with day care!
I do think that there is guilt associated with leaving your child in someone else's care for a portion of the day....especially so young in life. Mostly because people want to be able to be there to experience every moment of their child's development! Unfortunately, though, for most people now, it's just not a possibility. And day care can be a really great experience for kids!

Re: I don't mean to start drama

I work from home so I will be able to stay here with the baby for the most part I still intend to enroll him in as many things as we can to get the socialization that a first baby/child wont have if he just stays home with me all the time. I will put him in nursery school as early as possible and take him to some part time day care as soon as I can.

For me, I think its a good thing - especially for a first child to learn how to interact with other kids and how to share and so on.

I have seen it with the children of friends of mine and I do think - my opinion - that kids who get to day care or nursery school early seem to be better with other kids and more social and are more advanced when the start regular school... Just MHO

Fran

Re: I don't mean to start drama

I don't think there's anything wrong with it either. I think that no matter what you do, how you raise your children is a personal choice. Families are faced with different obstacles and they do what is best for them.

Message edited 1/4/2007 9:35:33 AM.

Re: I don't mean to start drama

Re: I don't mean to start drama

So sorry, I didn't really mean a debate HERE, just generally in life. The thread about staying home just sparked the thought in my brain.

Re: I don't mean to start drama

I dont see anything wrong with daycare either. My mom was a stay at home mom and i went to preschool but not daycare. I plan on putting my baby in daycare after 6 months that is if my mom doesn't move closer to me by that time. I think that it takes two to make a household run these days. I dont really want to give up my lifestyle, b/c that is exactly what i will be doing if i stay at home and let Dh work only. He can support me and a baby on his salary but the more money we have the more goals we can complete together. I think children gain good skills when they are in daycare. They learn to interact with other children at a much younger age, and that helps to develop social skills as well. Most day care centers also provide early schooling to get them ready for Kindergarten.

Message edited 1/4/2007 9:43:10 AM.

Re: I don't mean to start drama

Re: I don't mean to start drama

Re: I don't mean to start drama

I don't think there is anything wrong with daycare at all. Almost all of my nieces and nephews are in daycare and they have such great socialization skills and I do believe that the interaction has them slightly more advanced then my nieces and nephews who are not in daycare. Children need other children to learn from.

I work from home so my baby won't be in daycare - but I will be taking advantage of some sort of daycare for when I have to go to work or when I make appointments.

To each his own. People have to work and not everyone has the luxury of being a full time stay at home mom (and many people wouldn't want that) I think the best thing is to respect each other's decisions and do what is best for your own child.

Re: I don't mean to start drama

Re: I don't mean to start drama

hub and i have nothing against daycare. daycare's very beneficial to a baby's social development and other related skills. i work from home so there really is no need for me to put my baby in daycare as opposed to parents who work outside the home and have no choice but to. but i do intend on putting my son in one regardless. i understand there may be some firsts hub and i may miss but if being around other kids and stuff prompted this milestone.. so be it.

Re: I don't mean to start drama

Re: I don't mean to start drama

Im biased on day care because my mother who will be taking care of my child is a day care provider.
She has been for 20yrs and does it in her home.
I can honestly tell you that she has stayed in business through the years from the recommendations she has gotten from the moms as their children grew.
Majority of them are so thankful they have found someone so caring and someone they can "trust" and that puts them at ease when they are at work.
They make friends while they are there, learn from each other and it really is a preparation for nursery, pre-k or kindergarten.

Just a prime ex of my nephew who is a great child but lacks in certain areas. He recently attended school and has progressed so much since he is around children his age.

Everyone is going to have their opinion but these days day care is the only option and like me, I cant be a SAHM..I couldnt afford anything soley on DH's income. But Im lucky to have my mom.

Re: I don't mean to start drama

I don't think daycare in general is a bad thing. I went to day care and I turned out just fine.

The issues I have are:

Cost - it is insanely expensive. It was more affordable for my SIL to quit her teaching job and stay home then it was for her to keep working and put my nephew in daycare.

Waiting Lists - I seriously have to get on some lists NOW in NJ to get my baby into a good daycare for OCTOBER!!!

Quality - you can't always be sure, so you have to shop around.

I think the biggest issue is not wanting to be away from the baby at all.

I have trouble leaving my dog in the morning, I have no idea what kind of basket case mess I'm going to be when I have to leave my child. No matter where he is - daycare, nanny, or grandparents.

Re: I don't mean to start drama

I have been a day care provider/teacher for over 10 years.
I must say I LOVE this thread!
There is nothing wrong with day care!
The companie(s) I have worked for hire very caring and loving people. Wework very hard to make the children and their families happy.
I have nothing against day care either. I do have the opportunity for my mom to help out when I return to work. I have to admit, day care is expensive, so, Im thankful my mom will be around. If she wasn't able to help, then, day care would be the next option.

Re: I don't mean to start drama

Re: I don't mean to start drama

I think there is an assumption in this country (not an assumption voiced on these boards - just a general societal belief) that every woman WISHES she could stay home with her child/children. And honestly, that's just not me - nor is it the case for many, many women. I can't wait to be a mom and I'm sure my 16 weeks with my child will go too quickly, but I dont want to give up my teaching job. I think my working will make me a better mom.

I will add that when I lived in Ireland for a year back in 2000 I was a nanny for 2 boys while I was doing doctoral research. The nannying job was the hardest job I've ever had.