in-law suite?

We might have to have DH's mother and grandmother move in sometime in the near future. My MIL has offered in the past to pay for an add-on (including the 2 car garage we were going to build). Does anyone have an experience living with their in-laws? I am a little hesitant about this as is DH. We both get along with his mother and she is not the type to cause problems YET!! Any help on this subject would be appreciated.

Re: in-law suite?

I don't personally have experience with it but for pretty much my whole life my grandparents have lived with us. WHen I was 6 my parents and grandparents bought a 2 family house and when both of my father's parents died my mother's parents moved in. I never noticed any problems per se between my parents and my grandparents. With anything they had their little fights but nothing big. I know for me it was great because I got to live with my grandparents. Good luck

Re: in-law suite?

Would they have their own kitchen & bathroom too?

My friend bought a 2 family house and she, her husband and child live with her Mom and Stepdad.

At first everything was great but over time they had to set some ground rules. Privacy rules - certain days of the week were for her immediate family only. If the door between the sections is closed, that means they're not to be disturbed, stuff like that.

DH and I fully expect my parents to live with us for at least 2 months out of the year when we get our house. We aren't planning on a 2 family though, and my parents have stayed with me in my apartment before so I know they're great "guests".

Message edited 3/2/2007 10:27:52 AM.

Re: in-law suite?

Posted by greenfreak

Would they have their own kitchen & bathroom too?

My friend bought a 2 family house and she, her husband and child live with her Mom and Stepdad.

At first everything was great but over time they had to set some ground rules. Privacy rules - certain days of the week were for her immediate family only. If the door between the sections is closed, that means they're not to be disturbed, stuff like that.

DH and I fully expect my parents to live with us for at least 2 months out of the year when we get our house. We aren't planning on a 2 family though, and my parents have stayed with me in my apartment before so I know they're great "guests".

But they have gotten into the crabby old people stage of their lives. They freely offer advice and criticism even when they're not asked. So if we were planning on kids, that might be somehting to consider. That usually tends to be the source of issues with my sisters - how they raise their kids and if my parents approve of their methods.

As far as my in-laws? Not in a million years. DH agrees though, so that's good.

Re: in-law suite?

dh's grandmother ahd an appt in his house and it was a great situation - since it was just dh, his mom, and his gm most of the time they ate dinner together every night and they all respected their own space and place in the home Good luck!

Re: in-law suite?

I could see having my own parents, but def. not the inlaws. I feel like a son's mother always , some how some way, gets too involved.

Re: in-law suite?

Posted by mcl916

Posted by greenfreak

Would they have their own kitchen & bathroom too?

My friend bought a 2 family house and she, her husband and child live with her Mom and Stepdad.

At first everything was great but over time they had to set some ground rules. Privacy rules - certain days of the week were for her immediate family only. If the door between the sections is closed, that means they're not to be disturbed, stuff like that.

DH and I fully expect my parents to live with us for at least 2 months out of the year when we get our house. We aren't planning on a 2 family though, and my parents have stayed with me in my apartment before so I know they're great "guests".

But they have gotten into the crabby old people stage of their lives. They freely offer advice and criticism even when they're not asked. So if we were planning on kids, that might be somehting to consider. That usually tends to be the source of issues with my sisters - how they raise their kids and if my parents approve of their methods.

As far as my in-laws? Not in a million years. DH agrees though, so that's good.

Yes, they would have their own kitchen and bathroom. It would be a separate apartment probably either above the garage or next to it on the far side away from our house. I would definately establish ground rules before this is even started as I have seen what can happen if you don't

Message edited 11/19/2006 10:02:28 PM.

Re: in-law suite?

Posted by ValR

Posted by mcl916

Posted by greenfreak

Would they have their own kitchen & bathroom too?

My friend bought a 2 family house and she, her husband and child live with her Mom and Stepdad.

At first everything was great but over time they had to set some ground rules. Privacy rules - certain days of the week were for her immediate family only. If the door between the sections is closed, that means they're not to be disturbed, stuff like that.

DH and I fully expect my parents to live with us for at least 2 months out of the year when we get our house. We aren't planning on a 2 family though, and my parents have stayed with me in my apartment before so I know they're great "guests".

But they have gotten into the crabby old people stage of their lives. They freely offer advice and criticism even when they're not asked. So if we were planning on kids, that might be somehting to consider. That usually tends to be the source of issues with my sisters - how they raise their kids and if my parents approve of their methods.

As far as my in-laws? Not in a million years. DH agrees though, so that's good.

Yes, they would have their own kitchen and bathroom. It would be a separate apartment probably either above the garage or next to it on the far side away from our house. I would definately establish ground rules before this is even started as I have seen what can happen if you don't

I BEG of you......be sure to have it as separate as possible! We have a basement apt. in my inlaws house....but not our own batroom or our own entrance. 4 1/2 years later......it is really stressful to always have to see them.

I hope to renovate in the spring, as we own the house now...I am praying that this alleviates the tension!

Re: in-law suite?

you know my answer... DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!

Re: in-law suite?

Posted by aliwnec10

you know my answer... DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!

Re: in-law suite?

Posted by mcl916

Posted by ValR

Posted by mcl916

Posted by greenfreak

Would they have their own kitchen & bathroom too?

My friend bought a 2 family house and she, her husband and child live with her Mom and Stepdad.

At first everything was great but over time they had to set some ground rules. Privacy rules - certain days of the week were for her immediate family only. If the door between the sections is closed, that means they're not to be disturbed, stuff like that.

DH and I fully expect my parents to live with us for at least 2 months out of the year when we get our house. We aren't planning on a 2 family though, and my parents have stayed with me in my apartment before so I know they're great "guests".

But they have gotten into the crabby old people stage of their lives. They freely offer advice and criticism even when they're not asked. So if we were planning on kids, that might be somehting to consider. That usually tends to be the source of issues with my sisters - how they raise their kids and if my parents approve of their methods.

As far as my in-laws? Not in a million years. DH agrees though, so that's good.

Yes, they would have their own kitchen and bathroom. It would be a separate apartment probably either above the garage or next to it on the far side away from our house. I would definately establish ground rules before this is even started as I have seen what can happen if you don't

I BEG of you......be sure to have it as separate as possible! We have a basement apt. in my inlaws house....but not our own batroom or our own entrance. 4 1/2 years later......it is really stressful to always have to see them.

I hope to renovate in the spring, as we own the house now...I am praying that this alleviates the tension!

Well we would be building on to our house so we can design it anyway we want. What I have in mind would be an entirely separate apartment including a small kitchen and bathroom. I definately wouldn't want to share the house with them. I hope everything works out for you

Re: in-law suite?

Posted by mcl916

Posted by aliwnec10

you know my answer... DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!

Hopefully we won't have to, it's just gotten very interesting after this weekend though

Re: in-law suite?

don't forget your taxes may skyrocket depending on the addition!

Re: in-law suite?

If it was my MIL....HELL NO! Because along with her comes an entourage of people ...heck...even if it was JUST her I couldn't handle it. It all depends on your relationship together.

Kind of a similar situation is we're in the process of having my Grandmother move in with us. We're still in a 2 bedroom apt, but all I can say is my DH is AMAZING. He's welcoming my Grandma with open arms, heart, door...you name it. It's very hard...especially being a newlywed couple in an apt, but it just MUST be done.

Re: in-law suite?

Posted by aliwnec10

Posted by mcl916

Posted by aliwnec10

you know my answer... DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!

Hopefully we won't have to, it's just gotten very interesting after this weekend though

I don't understand. Your MIL seems to be fully functional. Was it that she and her brother took care of the grandmother and since he's gone...

Re: in-law suite?

Re: in-law suite?

we lived with my IL for several months before and after the wedding....not too bad. We had our own room that was an extension, so we were away from the rest of the house, but we had to eat/cook with them.

I am in the midst of having an extension put on for my grandmother to come live with us but it's a seperate living area....a whole apt. In law suites are VERY popular here in the South....usually they are the bottm level of a center split with a BR and a small LR/kitchen combo. Usually access to the backyard through a seperate entrance