|My IVF Journey - Round 2! |
Oct 27 2008 6:40PM
Only a few more days of torture. For some reason I am getting teary eyed and pretty much already anticipating a BFN. I have to get out of this rut, it doesnt nothing to help the situation. I was going along fine until my DH got laid off and then my spirits literally went down the drain. How can I get them back up?????
Today was our transfer. We put back 3 blasts (5 day old embryos) for a better chance of pregnancy On the way there we got pulled over for speeding..can't win LOL..but lucklily the cop let us go with a warning. The only thing I can say is that I sort of felt like Round 1 was practice and Round 2 feels like the real deal. Now I sat on my little nest and pray for them to hatch!!
Stayed home today, still a little sore. Trying to take it easy and heal properly. Good news is I had a great fert report. Bad news is - my day came to a crashing halt this evening when I found out some bad news (not related to the IVF). I am praying to God that the stress of that situation does not negatively affect my cycle
My retrieval was today and I am home now...sooorrrrrre. We get the fert call tomorrow and Friday morning find out if we are doing a 3 day or 5 day transfer.
Ok now I am on Day 9 of stims. Have been to the doctor 6 mornings out of 9. I can't wait for retrieval...coming soon. Getting up every day between 5-6am really stinks. Then getting to the dr office having to have myself poked and prodded every day. Almost there...
Wow what a busy week..went for morning monitoring every AM except for Tuesday...then to work all day...then almost every day I had acupuncture or yoga..by the time I get home I am exhausted. Almost over though. I go for another round of monitoring tomorrow AM and then I should have my retrieval date!
So I've been going for morning monitoring this week, went Monday and today. Have to go again tomorrow morning. My new dr upped my dosage of the Gonal -f to 225 units every evening from the 150 which was encouraging. They have my target retrieval date for Mon 11/17 but at the rate I'm going I have a feeling it may be over the weekend!!
OMG! Read my post on IF about what a ding dong I am. I FORGOT to fill my low dose HCG medication....which needs to be mixed the first day you start it. Luckily the pharmacist at Mandells is an angel and actually opened up the store just for me!!! Whew. Hope that's not a sign of anything. However...I must say...yesterday at the RE, while I was in the waiting room, a couple came out and was showing the receptionist a picture of their little bean...they just found out they were pg...I thought that was really nice. Then when I went into the exam room and was sitting there waiting I could hear the ultrasound machine in the room next door and a baby's heartbeat...which still amazes me..that something the size of my thumbnail has a heartbeat. Amazing.....
Ok. Whew...deep breaths. I have my first ultrasound / bloodwork tomorrow AM. The first of many during the stim cycle. I can't even believe 3 months has gone by. The reality of it hasn't hit me yet. Last time I did this it was really unknown territory...this time around I have studied the road map. Here we go again...
I finished my last birth control pill on Halloween night. I started cramping yesterday and getting AF today...which begins a new cycle so the RE can really pinpoint ovulation etc and control the cycle. The Lupron injections are torture...last time around I didn't have such a bad reaction...I am teary eyed, hot, angry, sad, crampy, dizzy and God knows what else. Went home early from work today. Just needed an afternoon to lay on the couch, watch TV and read / post on LIF.
Almost forgot my Lupron shot tonight! That was a close one. Had to give it to myself but I am an expert at that now, since i had to give it to myself last night in the bathroom at the RE clinic - had to bring it with me so I could do it before my acu appointment! I am feeling a lot calmer and more confident. Almost like an inner peace. I think it has a lot to do with prayer, yoga and acupuncture.
I went to my first session of yoga last night, they have it at my office. Wow was it a lot harder than I expected! But totally great and I felt nice & stretched and relaxed last night and this morning too. Except for the bouts of teariness I've been getting, I think from the combo of the Lupron and bcp. Today in my car I cried when I heard Fergie "Big Girls Don't Cry!"
Round 2, Day One! (of injections that is)...as most of you know IVF is a long, emotional and sometimes painful process that takes months to prepare for. For those of you that don't know, I did Round 1 in July / August and it ended in a BFN. The doctor explained to me that my eggs were fragmented bc of my PCOS therefore my embies (embryos) were not viable. Another contributing factor is my DH's sperm - severe male factor. We were absolutely devastated to hear that negative news.
We consulted with the head of our clinic, Dr.Paul Bergh of RMA NJ. I requested to be switched to him due to his aggressive protocol and referrals of friends. I asked to be put on Metformin which was previously shrugged off by my prior RE. He put me on it right away. I started a low carb diet (no choice - the Met and carbs are arch enemies! ) So far I've lost about 10 lbs in 2 months. I also started seeing the acupuncturist at RMA and under his suggestion have been taking Co-Q-10 vitamins and flax seed ground up in my oatmeal. Switched to decaf coffee.
So as my DH and I start the next round of daily injectables, we can only hope and pray that all of our hard work pays off. I am super nervous this time around...I was so convinced that it would work last time that this time I don't know what to think....