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Dr B said that out of 15 eggs 13 were mature and 9 fertilized. He's waiting until day 3 to make his decision weather to do a day 3 or day 5 transfer. One of my issues is that my egg quality seems good until the maturation stage, after day 3 they don't seem to progress well but we are hoping the neupogen will help that. I have a feeling unless most of them are awesome on day 3 I will be going in Tuesday.Dr B called again today, another egg fertilized, now we have 10!Nothing like getting the phone call a few hrs before....I can't even go into all the details right now bc I'm so upset but it seems that yesterday (day 4) the embryologist called dr b and said they were doing great and day 5 shouldn't be a problem. Now dr b gets a call that overnight the embies have seemed to start to arrest, they are all still in the morula stage and shoul be blasts, not one of 10 made it, dr b doesn't want to transfer them, he said he is going to call me later and see if they make any progress but it doesn't look good. He said some other stuff about a male factor issue bc the problem seems to present at day 3 and that's when the male factor should kick in and it isn't but we've had the testsand everything is fine I'm going back to bed, just wanted to update you guys since you've all been so great and supportive. This has been the worst 2 1/2 yrs Justwanted to update you guys, spoke to dr b, not much new, there are 4 embies left....2 haven't changed at all today, 2 progressed slightly but aren't blasts yet, he said I'll hear from him in the morning. There is a chance that if any of them make it to blast we can go ahead with transfer, I'm not getting my hopes up though Well ladies, today was a no go. Dr B called this morning and said that the embies made no progress overnight. He said the embryologist said he has never seen a pregnancy happen with whatever grade these embies were. So right now the plan is Dr B is going through comparing all my cycles, both embryo labs are going back and looking at my embies w a fine tooth comb (I stopped going to afs) to see if they can find anything. The real crap part is that both labs are saying they can't find anything wrong w the embies until day 5, problems like translocations usually do not produce good day 3 embies. Dr B said he has literally ran every test on us except the translocation test so we are doing that tomorrow. He says we do not present as people who have a translocation problem, but he needs to rule it out at this point. The other crappy thing is that if there is a translocation problem our only choices are to keep doing ivf and hope to get a good embie or try on our own and hope for the best. I am not going to be happy giving up but don't know how many more ivf's I can handle. I asked what if the translocations tests come back ok, then what? He said he can't answer that yet, he has no answers and he needs to keep digging deeper to figure it out, he won't give up without figuring it out. I don't know what to think at this point this is tearing me apart, I have done nothing but cry and sleep all day. I don't want to see anyone or talk to anyone (not u guys ) I feel like such a failure. I feel embarrassed bc I talk about my infertility and always have so much hope and now I have none left. I have always believes on Dr B, and I still do but the fact that he is actually baffled by my case scares me. Even both separate embryo clinics are confused. he said I just don't present like a typical translocation case and thats why no one did this test before. I'm so lucky to have my wonderful DS but I'm starting to think I'll never be able to give him a sibling, or give my dh and I another child that we so desperately want I feel guilty bc I have one ds, I love him more than anything but I don't think I'll ever feel complete w/o another dc for us and a sibling for himI feel down & guilty bc a few months ago my 20yr old nephew asked me to adopt his newborn baby girl, we couldn't for many reasons but the main being I wanted more of my own and didn't want to sacrifice more of my own, also I was afraid of there being issues later on in life since my nephew and I are close and he isn't want to give her up he had to....so sad bc I had the opportunity and didn't take it, guilty bc if we never have another bio child I feel guilty adopting someone else when I could have adopted familyI feel down bc how can I have one dc and not be able to have another??!!I feel down bc I'm no longer me and haven't been for a long time, my dh, my ds and my weight suffer bc of it. Dh and ds not in a bad way but like I'm so blah, don't want to go out much, have to drag myself to do things etc but in a way if it weren't for my ds I would be way worse bc he keeps me busy.
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Today's appointment was routine. Follie check....on the right I have 7 follies with the lead being an 11. On the left I have 9 follies with the lead being a 12. My lining is a nice clear three layers and vaculated, measuring about 7.5! This is really good start for my lining! Usually you can barely make out the layers and it's thin, he said he isn't going to compare the sono pics until the end right before retrieval but he thinks the Neupogen will definately help We spoke a bit about all my issues and he read and re-read my file (which is getting really thick!), He really believes that the Neupogen therapy is going to make a big difference, since the criteria to use it is: recurrent pregnancy lossrecurrent ivf failurepoor egg qualitythin uterine liningIt's weird though, he had run the OAR test on me, Ovarian something Reserve and the test came back completely fine and normal for my age. So that would suggest that my egg quality is fine, but Dr B was just questioning my egg quality so I asked....are my eggs sucky or what?! He said that initially the quality seems fine but they are losing something in the maturation stage. We have 7 fertilized embies last cycle and only 1 made it to blast and it wasn't even an expanded blast. He seems to think that because of my elevated NK cells/immune issues in the follicular fluid they are losing quality after fertilization. I asked if he could just cut me a personal check for enough money to pay for another wedding and honeymoon since that's how I got my DS! I go back again Monday, I'm hoping for some nice growth over the weekend!
I've decided to start this blog as a journal for myself and hope that somewhere along the line it will help someone else :)I wish I would have started a long time ago, but I guess better late than never!A recap of thew last couple of years:In June 2008 we started trying for DC #2. I figured I would become pregnant fairly quickly since my DS is a honeymoon baby :)I've never been so wrong in my life! We tried for 9 months on our own, when nothing happened I asked the nurse practioner at my OB office what to do. I see her for all my routine stuff. She suggested DH go for a SA and I go for a diabetes test and hsg and then with those results sit down with the Dr. We did the test and went to see the Dr. He told us that the tests were all normal and that sometimes it can just take awhile to get pg. He said to try 3 more months and if still not successful to come back so I left there with my next appointment scheduled and went home and kept trying. My gut was telling me to just call Dr Braverman (he used to be my ob and delivered my ds) but I kept trying the full 3 months with no success and the day before I was due to go back to the OB I cancelled my appointment and called Dr Braverman. He got right on the phone and had me come in for a consult that afternoon! After talking for an hour or so he ordered a bunch of tests and said to come back on CD3. This is how my journey with Dr B started. I won't bore you with all the details leading up to now because it would take forever! We proceeded with 2 IUI's, both BFN. We then moved on to ivf. I had my first ER/ET in Nov 2009, BFN. I started prepping for my next cycle and half way through I fell (Jan 2010) and injured my already torn ACL, MCL and fractured my knee bone. I was put on crutches for 6 weeks so we cancelled the cycle so I could heal and prep for ACL reconstruction surgery. I had the surgery end of March 2010. I was told I had to wait a 6 weeks post surgery to even start my meds for ivf again bc of the risk of a blood clot in the leg. So I started back up when AF arrived in June. We did prepped for a couple FET cycles that wound up being cancelled for lining issues We finally got to transfer again October 2010. This FET resulted in a BFP! I was super excited! But after my next few betas Dr B thought it was ectopic and since I was having right side pain he sent me to Good Sam to meet Dr Pillitteri. I was admitted and stayed for 4 nights. Dr Pillitteri kept me bc now my beta was pretty much doubling and he wanted to make sure there wasn't anything viable before he went in and did a D&C. After a few daysy numbers were high enough that he should have seen something on a sono and he couldn't :(. We went ahead with a laproscopy to make sure and check my tubes. He found nothing in my tubes, he actually said they were picture perfect. The pathology report showed the pregnancy was intrauterine and he got it all. I was just about 6 weeks at the time of D&C (oct 29th) I was told to wait until I got another period then we could start again. My beta was back down in about 10-12 days. Then I waited for AF who came December 6th. I started my protocol right away with stims on CD2, we transferred 3 embies on Dec 22nd. Again BFN :(. That brings me to now. We are doing another fresh cycle since we had no embies to freeze. Today is CD5 and my 3rd day of stims. I will continue to update this blog as I go along. Now that I finally wrote it down hopefully I can keep up so my posts won't be so long! And to think I left out alot of details!
