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pnbplus1
Family
Member since 5/09 5751 total posts
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Mommy
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by Pumpkin1
Please don't flame me, but there appears to be some gaps in this story and i'd appreciate if you let me know if I'm missing something. Liam started being bullied after he started soccer in the spring, he lost some weight in the beginning of the summer and lost a lot more when he was away for 3 weeks to Saratoga. Did something happen to him in Saratoga? Did the bullying continue while he was in Saratoga?
He developed an eating disorder that became apparent in the beginning of the summer as indicated by the early weight loss and then continued such that the weight loss increased as summer progressed. It became much more noticable after being away for 3 weeks. Eating disorders don't just start and stop bc of a change of scenery/location. This is not a gap in the story.
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Posted 10/21/17 10:16 PM  |
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mommy2be716
LIF Adult
Member since 1/16 2921 total posts
Name:
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by gina409
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by gina409
I don't know why the pta always gets such a bad rap
In my experience they are helpful and nice and donso much or the school and the kids
Maybe I'm just lucky in my school
No one brought up the pta on this thread.
Um??? You literally said the cliquey mom's at the pta??
And my post wasn't even directed at you
It was in general bc several times on several different posts I've seen many people act like the PTA is the worst place on earth
I don't think NervousNell was saying all PTA members are horrible people, or that all mom's who are part of a social circle must be bullies. But there is a certain stereotype about the PTA out there, and I think she was just using that as an example of the typical "bully" behavior that children learn from their parents. Kind of like the moms in "Big Little Lies" if you've watched that show. Don't think it was meant to be factual, but more meant to show an example of how certain mom's behavior can trickle down to their children. IMO, some of you are getting a little nit-picky about things that are being said, and it's taking away from the point of this post.
A boy was bullied, and the district tried to keep it quiet and minimize the level of bullying that went on. I posted that a friend of mine was bullied in the same district for her clothes, and this was from 7th grade all the way through 12th. Same girl continued to bully her throughout (gum all over her locker, calling her names, leaving prank calls at home, stealing her books/other belongings at school and then returning them before getting caught), and the middle school and high school did absolutely nothing about it. It wasn't until she went to college that she got an apology.
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| Posted 10/21/17 10:18 PM |
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WonderLady
LIF Infant
Member since 1/15 355 total posts
Name:
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by gina409
I don't know why the pta always gets such a bad rap
In my experience they are helpful and nice and donso much or the school and the kids
Maybe I'm just lucky in my school
No one brought up the pta on this thread.
You literally said-
Because most likely the parents are bullies too. Ever notice the "cliquey" moms at school or the pta who don't make you feel welcome? Like it's high school all over again?
How are you possibly saying that I can't read and you didn't bring up the PTA? 
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| Posted 10/21/17 10:28 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by mommy2be716
Posted by gina409
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by gina409
I don't know why the pta always gets such a bad rap
In my experience they are helpful and nice and donso much or the school and the kids
Maybe I'm just lucky in my school
No one brought up the pta on this thread.
Um??? You literally said the cliquey mom's at the pta??
And my post wasn't even directed at you
It was in general bc several times on several different posts I've seen many people act like the PTA is the worst place on earth
I don't think NervousNell was saying all PTA members are horrible people, or that all mom's who are part of a social circle must be bullies. But there is a certain stereotype about the PTA out there, and I think she was just using that as an example of the typical "bully" behavior that children learn from their parents. Kind of like the moms in "Big Little Lies" if you've watched that show. Don't think it was meant to be factual, but more meant to show an example of how certain mom's behavior can trickle down to their children. IMO, some of you are getting a little nit-picky about things that are being said, and it's taking away from the point of this post.
A boy was bullied, and the district tried to keep it quiet and minimize the level of bullying that went on. I posted that a friend of mine was bullied in the same district for her clothes, and this was from 7th grade all the way through 12th. Same girl continued to bully her throughout (gum all over her locker, calling her names, leaving prank calls at home, stealing her books/other belongings at school and then returning them before getting caught), and the middle school and high school did absolutely nothing about it. It wasn't until she went to college that she got an apology.
And that's exactly why I said and it wasn't at her I do t get why there is a stereotype
For me,my experience the pta has been great
And like I said maybe I'm just lucky
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| Posted 10/21/17 10:29 PM |
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WonderLady
LIF Infant
Member since 1/15 355 total posts
Name:
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by mommy2be716
Posted by gina409
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by gina409
I don't know why the pta always gets such a bad rap
In my experience they are helpful and nice and donso much or the school and the kids
Maybe I'm just lucky in my school
No one brought up the pta on this thread.
Um??? You literally said the cliquey mom's at the pta??
And my post wasn't even directed at you
It was in general bc several times on several different posts I've seen many people act like the PTA is the worst place on earth
I don't think NervousNell was saying all PTA members are horrible people, or that all mom's who are part of a social circle must be bullies. But there is a certain stereotype about the PTA out there, and I think she was just using that as an example of the typical "bully" behavior that children learn from their parents. Kind of like the moms in "Big Little Lies" if you've watched that show. Don't think it was meant to be factual, but more meant to show an example of how certain mom's behavior can trickle down to their children. IMO, some of you are getting a little nit-picky about things that are being said, and it's taking away from the point of this post.
A boy was bullied, and the district tried to keep it quiet and minimize the level of bullying that went on. I posted that a friend of mine was bullied in the same district for her clothes, and this was from 7th grade all the way through 12th. Same girl continued to bully her throughout (gum all over her locker, calling her names, leaving prank calls at home, stealing her books/other belongings at school and then returning them before getting caught), and the middle school and high school did absolutely nothing about it. It wasn't until she went to college that she got an apology.
Don't mean to nit pick. I just find it so offensive. I get that the original post isn't about this, but that doesn't necessarily mean people should let a comment like that slide either.
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| Posted 10/21/17 10:30 PM |
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LuckyStar
LIF Adult
Member since 7/14 7272 total posts
Name:
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by WonderLady
Posted by mommy2be716
Posted by gina409
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by gina409
I don't know why the pta always gets such a bad rap
In my experience they are helpful and nice and donso much or the school and the kids
Maybe I'm just lucky in my school
No one brought up the pta on this thread.
Um??? You literally said the cliquey mom's at the pta??
And my post wasn't even directed at you
It was in general bc several times on several different posts I've seen many people act like the PTA is the worst place on earth
I don't think NervousNell was saying all PTA members are horrible people, or that all mom's who are part of a social circle must be bullies. But there is a certain stereotype about the PTA out there, and I think she was just using that as an example of the typical "bully" behavior that children learn from their parents. Kind of like the moms in "Big Little Lies" if you've watched that show. Don't think it was meant to be factual, but more meant to show an example of how certain mom's behavior can trickle down to their children. IMO, some of you are getting a little nit-picky about things that are being said, and it's taking away from the point of this post.
A boy was bullied, and the district tried to keep it quiet and minimize the level of bullying that went on. I posted that a friend of mine was bullied in the same district for her clothes, and this was from 7th grade all the way through 12th. Same girl continued to bully her throughout (gum all over her locker, calling her names, leaving prank calls at home, stealing her books/other belongings at school and then returning them before getting caught), and the middle school and high school did absolutely nothing about it. It wasn't until she went to college that she got an apology.
Don't mean to nit pick. I just find it so offensive. I get that the original post isn't about this, but that doesn't necessarily mean people should let a comment like that slide either.
Why is referring to "cliquey" parents offensive? A "clique," by definition, is a group of people who are generally unwelcoming to others. I think it stands to reason that "cliquey" parents would, by example, teach their children to be unwelcoming to others. Am I missing something?
Regardless, PARENTS need to change. They need to be more aware of their actions. They need to teach their children to treat others as they want to be treated. No one should be defending parents who exclude or ostracize others and anyone who does is either a bully themselves or lacks even the slightest amount of self awareness.
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| Posted 10/21/17 10:44 PM |
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WonderLady
LIF Infant
Member since 1/15 355 total posts
Name:
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by LuckyStar
Posted by WonderLady
Posted by mommy2be716
Posted by gina409
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by gina409
I don't know why the pta always gets such a bad rap
In my experience they are helpful and nice and donso much or the school and the kids
Maybe I'm just lucky in my school
No one brought up the pta on this thread.
Um??? You literally said the cliquey mom's at the pta??
And my post wasn't even directed at you
It was in general bc several times on several different posts I've seen many people act like the PTA is the worst place on earth
I don't think NervousNell was saying all PTA members are horrible people, or that all mom's who are part of a social circle must be bullies. But there is a certain stereotype about the PTA out there, and I think she was just using that as an example of the typical "bully" behavior that children learn from their parents. Kind of like the moms in "Big Little Lies" if you've watched that show. Don't think it was meant to be factual, but more meant to show an example of how certain mom's behavior can trickle down to their children. IMO, some of you are getting a little nit-picky about things that are being said, and it's taking away from the point of this post.
A boy was bullied, and the district tried to keep it quiet and minimize the level of bullying that went on. I posted that a friend of mine was bullied in the same district for her clothes, and this was from 7th grade all the way through 12th. Same girl continued to bully her throughout (gum all over her locker, calling her names, leaving prank calls at home, stealing her books/other belongings at school and then returning them before getting caught), and the middle school and high school did absolutely nothing about it. It wasn't until she went to college that she got an apology.
Don't mean to nit pick. I just find it so offensive. I get that the original post isn't about this, but that doesn't necessarily mean people should let a comment like that slide either.
Why is referring to "cliquey" parents offensive? A "clique," by definition, is a group of people who are generally unwelcoming to others. I think it stands to reason that "cliquey" parents would, by example, teach their children to be unwelcoming to others. Am I missing something?
Regardless, PARENTS need to change. They need to be more aware of their actions. They need to teach their children to treat others as they want to be treated. No one should be defending parents who exclude or ostracize others and anyone who does is either a bully themselves or lacks even the slightest amount of self awareness.
I'm not sure that you properly followed what I found offensive. I'm not defending parents who ostracize others. In fact, I think it's parents who constantly make those types of ridiculous comments about the PTA who are the ones doing the ostracizing. Like it's become the cool thing to do to call out the PTA on how incredibly lame they are.
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| Posted 10/21/17 11:02 PM |
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itsagoodlife
LIF Adolescent
Member since 8/15 619 total posts
Name:
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
I’m a teacher. Bullying is taken very seriously in my school.
That being said... when the parents of the bullies are called in, they are defensive, INSIST their child did nothing wrong, and basically totally undermine the authority of the teachers and administrators. We have had parents of bullies verbally attack us AND the parents of their victims. Our hands become tied. It’s public school... we can’t kick someone out. Expulsion RARELY happens and once the suspension is over, the bully goes right back to bullying.
The ONLY thing that seems to work is getting law enforcement involved... and I truly hope these GC parents hire a lawyer and press charges against the bullies AND their parents.
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| Posted 10/22/17 1:34 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by WonderLady
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by gina409
I don't know why the pta always gets such a bad rap
In my experience they are helpful and nice and donso much or the school and the kids
Maybe I'm just lucky in my school
No one brought up the pta on this thread.
You literally said-
Because most likely the parents are bullies too. Ever notice the "cliquey" moms at school or the pta who don't make you feel welcome? Like it's high school all over again?
How are you possibly saying that I can't read and you didn't bring up the PTA?
This is my last comment here....but to clarify I said cliquey moms at the school OR the PTA....i could have also added...OR the park, OR a birthday party, etc. I was in no way saying all moms in the PTA are cliquey or ALL moms at our school or ALL moms in a town .
And I also never said the "social" moms are modeling bullying like you implied either.
Cliquey, smobby, exclusive behavior can happen anywhere (the pta was just one example) and it is THAT behavior that IMO leads to children who may model it in their own lives
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| Posted 10/22/17 1:46 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by itsagoodlife
I’m a teacher. Bullying is taken very seriously in my school.
That being said... when the parents of the bullies are called in, they are defensive, INSIST their child did nothing wrong, and basically totally undermine the authority of the teachers and administrators. We have had parents of bullies verbally attack us AND the parents of their victims. Our hands become tied. It’s public school... we can’t kick someone out. Expulsion RARELY happens and once the suspension is over, the bully goes right back to bullying.
The ONLY thing that seems to work is getting law enforcement involved... and I truly hope these GC parents hire a lawyer and press charges against the bullies AND their parents.
Why can't you kick them out? That is crazy to me. If you continue to bully someone, there should be a LAW that expulsion is mandatory! Let the parents pay for private school, or they can homeschool the kids themselves!
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| Posted 10/22/17 2:47 PM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7613 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Social media is where a lot of this is happening - kids never get a break ever. I was bullied in MS and HS, but at least when I went home, I was safe. Bullying now is relentless. The other problem is that many kids know bullying is going on and are bystanders. They see it in the halls, locker rooms, etc but don't speak up or report it for fear of being bullied. What we need to do is empower the bystanders. They are the factor that can help stop bullying.
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| Posted 10/22/17 3:41 PM |
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cj7305
=)
Member since 8/05 12296 total posts
Name:
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by PitterPatter11
Social media is where a lot of this is happening - kids never get a break ever. I was bullied in MS and HS, but at least when I went home, I was safe. Bullying now is relentless. The other problem is that many kids know bullying is going on and are bystanders. They see it in the halls, locker rooms, etc but don't speak up or report it for fear of being bullied. What we need to do is empower the bystanders. They are the factor that can help stop bullying.
100% agree. Social media, these crazy apps where they rate your looks, etc. have magnified this problem so much. It is absolutely relentless. It just makes me sick. I just wish these poor kids could see that soon enough these days will be a distant memory, they will move on to so many bigger better things. It's just so hard to see passed it when you're so in it and feel like it will never get better. I'm heartbroken for these kids. I am also a teacher and on the daily I trying to teach my kids that above all else, they should treat others the way they want to be treated. Good grades are great but being a good person is a million times more important.
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| Posted 10/22/17 7:00 PM |
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Goobster
:)
Member since 5/07 27557 total posts
Name:
:)
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
I think a lot of this boils down to social media. Many or most of us were bullied at some point in our younger lives, but now it's all just out of control with not being able to escape the torment (social media). It's such a tricky road to navigate as a parent of a child now with all these sites. If you ban your child, they are an outcast or left out. If you allow them, they are subjected to possible bullying. It's a horrible situation and I wish we could all take a huge step back in time when social media did not exist.
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| Posted 10/22/17 11:43 PM |
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tagkit
LIF Infant
Member since 10/12 361 total posts
Name:
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Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
This really struck a nerve when I saw this on the news. My child attended the GC middle and high school and in a similar fashion was bullied when it came to sports. You're not good enough, you suck, you shouldnt be on this team. My child at one point wouldnt eat , would train so vigorously as if to prove a point that placement on the teams was justified. My child developed an eating disorder but not to the extent where professional help was needed - we sat down and had many conversations and something clicked. My husband and I wanted to get let the school know but my child said "Mom, I still have to go there everyday"......From that point my child seem to shrug it off , it wouldnt phase him. He developed an attitude of "Im better than them and that"....thank God! The coaches and parents are too clicky and will single out kids. Its funny many say oh we are anti bullying and theyre full of it - bc its all talk. The coaches are pressured from parents who generously give donations of time and money and there is great favoritism. If you're not part of the click , you're out. How many children are suffering now that we dont realize? This little boy suffered for over a year going to a place he dreaded. School is where kids should feel the most safe!
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| Posted 10/23/17 10:22 AM |
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tagkit
LIF Infant
Member since 10/12 361 total posts
Name:
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Katareen
Ugh it's awful. If I ever found out my daughter was bullying anyone, she would be locked in her room for a month. I don't know how parents can be so oblivious to their kids behavior.
I hope this poor boy gets the help he needs 
Because most likely the parents are bullies too. Ever notice the "cliquey" moms at school or the pta who don't make you feel welcome? Like it's high school all over again?
It's that kind of behavior that trickles down to the kids.
Bullying is learned. Just like racism is learned.
Kids aren't born nasty bastards. Just like kids aren't born to see someone with a different skin color as something negative.
They learn it . At home.
OMG THIS!!! I have always dreaded going to any school function bc of this. I just laugh seeing the "click" - very rude and unwelcoming indeed. I dont like when anyone is singled out. What you see and learn at home is what you're a product of .
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| Posted 10/23/17 10:26 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by itsagoodlife
I’m a teacher. Bullying is taken very seriously in my school.
That being said... when the parents of the bullies are called in, they are defensive, INSIST their child did nothing wrong, and basically totally undermine the authority of the teachers and administrators. We have had parents of bullies verbally attack us AND the parents of their victims. Our hands become tied. It’s public school... we can’t kick someone out. Expulsion RARELY happens and once the suspension is over, the bully goes right back to bullying.
The ONLY thing that seems to work is getting law enforcement involved... and I truly hope these GC parents hire a lawyer and press charges against the bullies AND their parents.
Why can't you kick them out? That is crazy to me. If you continue to bully someone, there should be a LAW that expulsion is mandatory! Let the parents pay for private school, or they can homeschool the kids themselves!
You cannot kick kids out of public school--I am an educator--I am involved in bullying day in and day out as well and what the OP said is 100% true. The bullies parents are all "its not my kid" --its hard to get proof, cannot search kids phones, parents claim social media isnt their kid etc. it is terrible, very hard to successfully intervene and stop bullying bc 9 times out of 10 the parents support their kids regardless of if the behavior is wrong or just dont believe it
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| Posted 10/23/17 11:29 AM |
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy
Member since 10/10 7789 total posts
Name:
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by DiamondGirl
You cannot kick kids out of public school--I am an educator--I am involved in bullying day in and day out as well and what the OP said is 100% true. The bullies parents are all "its not my kid" --its hard to get proof, cannot search kids phones, parents claim social media isnt their kid etc. it is terrible, very hard to successfully intervene and stop bullying bc 9 times out of 10 the parents support their kids regardless of if the behavior is wrong or just dont believe it
That is outrageous. I just can't imagine a school calling me to come in to tell me my kid is telling another kid to kill him/herself and just shrugging it off. That's ridiculous. Obviously the school is aware of a serious problem that they are taking the time to make a parent come for a meeting. Do the schools ever take screen shots of the bullying from off the victim's phone as proof? Or can they not do it because it's on Snapchat? I know those disappear.
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| Posted 10/23/17 12:58 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by DiamondGirl
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by itsagoodlife
I’m a teacher. Bullying is taken very seriously in my school.
That being said... when the parents of the bullies are called in, they are defensive, INSIST their child did nothing wrong, and basically totally undermine the authority of the teachers and administrators. We have had parents of bullies verbally attack us AND the parents of their victims. Our hands become tied. It’s public school... we can’t kick someone out. Expulsion RARELY happens and once the suspension is over, the bully goes right back to bullying.
The ONLY thing that seems to work is getting law enforcement involved... and I truly hope these GC parents hire a lawyer and press charges against the bullies AND their parents.
Why can't you kick them out? That is crazy to me. If you continue to bully someone, there should be a LAW that expulsion is mandatory! Let the parents pay for private school, or they can homeschool the kids themselves!
You cannot kick kids out of public school--I am an educator--I am involved in bullying day in and day out as well and what the OP said is 100% true. The bullies parents are all "its not my kid" --its hard to get proof, cannot search kids phones, parents claim social media isnt their kid etc. it is terrible, very hard to successfully intervene and stop bullying bc 9 times out of 10 the parents support their kids regardless of if the behavior is wrong or just dont believe it
This must be a New York state thing, because where I grew up, kids can and do get expelled from public school.
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| Posted 10/23/17 1:26 PM |
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SecretlyTTC14
LIF Adult
Member since 12/13 1770 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by PhyllisNJoe
I know violence is not the answer, but sometimes you gotta fight fire with Fire. My sister was bullied by 2 sisters who lived down the block. There was a lot of back and forth, parents talking, kid fights, etc. until enough was enough. Both my mother AND father went their house and beat the shit out of those parents. The girls never bothered my sister or my other siblings, my cousins or anyone associated with us again. I KNOW it’s not the “right” thing to do, but god help the parents of a child who bullies any kid I love. And I’m talking about parents who are not trying their hardest to help - the not my son, not my kid, your kid started it Etc etc parents. Bullies only listen by being forced to listen.
ETA: Your parents sound awesome!
If my child was being bullied to the point where medical intervention was necessary, and the school and parents were completely uncooperative, I would absolutely resort to violence. I wouldn't even have to do it myself. I'll pay someone to teach the bully and their family a lesson. You'd be surprised what some people will do for $100.
2 kids in our district have taken their own lives in the past 2 years. Newsday and News12 don't report anything about it. It seems like in both cases, the parents had no idea and didn't see it coming. It's kept so quiet and I don't know why. We need awareness, not for it to be swept under the rug. I agree that smartphones and social media play a big part in it. DS is still young but I plan/hope to keep him phone free for a long time.
Message edited 10/23/2017 2:01:00 PM.
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| Posted 10/23/17 1:55 PM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7613 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by DiamondGirl
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by itsagoodlife
I’m a teacher. Bullying is taken very seriously in my school.
That being said... when the parents of the bullies are called in, they are defensive, INSIST their child did nothing wrong, and basically totally undermine the authority of the teachers and administrators. We have had parents of bullies verbally attack us AND the parents of their victims. Our hands become tied. It’s public school... we can’t kick someone out. Expulsion RARELY happens and once the suspension is over, the bully goes right back to bullying.
The ONLY thing that seems to work is getting law enforcement involved... and I truly hope these GC parents hire a lawyer and press charges against the bullies AND their parents.
Why can't you kick them out? That is crazy to me. If you continue to bully someone, there should be a LAW that expulsion is mandatory! Let the parents pay for private school, or they can homeschool the kids themselves!
You cannot kick kids out of public school--I am an educator--I am involved in bullying day in and day out as well and what the OP said is 100% true. The bullies parents are all "its not my kid" --its hard to get proof, cannot search kids phones, parents claim social media isnt their kid etc. it is terrible, very hard to successfully intervene and stop bullying bc 9 times out of 10 the parents support their kids regardless of if the behavior is wrong or just dont believe it
This must be a New York state thing, because where I grew up, kids can and do get expelled from public school.
It's very difficult to expel a student. In our district some kids go to the district tutoring center or have a home tutor. Most kids are suspended and eventually allowed to come back after a superintendent meeting.
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| Posted 10/23/17 2:41 PM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by FirstMate
Posted by DiamondGirl
You cannot kick kids out of public school--I am an educator--I am involved in bullying day in and day out as well and what the OP said is 100% true. The bullies parents are all "its not my kid" --its hard to get proof, cannot search kids phones, parents claim social media isnt their kid etc. it is terrible, very hard to successfully intervene and stop bullying bc 9 times out of 10 the parents support their kids regardless of if the behavior is wrong or just dont believe it
That is outrageous. I just can't imagine a school calling me to come in to tell me my kid is telling another kid to kill him/herself and just shrugging it off. That's ridiculous. Obviously the school is aware of a serious problem that they are taking the time to make a parent come for a meeting. Do the schools ever take screen shots of the bullying from off the victim's phone as proof? Or can they not do it because it's on Snapchat? I know those disappear.
I am in NYC, the NYC DOE has NO laws allowing us to access students phones as they are private property so while we *can* with student permission it gets very sticky to do so and have a parent not give permission, also snap chat they go away or kids delete. School officials hands are tied in so so many ways so when people place blame on the school it is incredibly frustrating. My advice to parents GO TO THE POLICE! If you have proof show the cops and hope they do something about it
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| Posted 10/24/17 8:35 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by DiamondGirl
Posted by FirstMate
Posted by DiamondGirl
You cannot kick kids out of public school--I am an educator--I am involved in bullying day in and day out as well and what the OP said is 100% true. The bullies parents are all "its not my kid" --its hard to get proof, cannot search kids phones, parents claim social media isnt their kid etc. it is terrible, very hard to successfully intervene and stop bullying bc 9 times out of 10 the parents support their kids regardless of if the behavior is wrong or just dont believe it
That is outrageous. I just can't imagine a school calling me to come in to tell me my kid is telling another kid to kill him/herself and just shrugging it off. That's ridiculous. Obviously the school is aware of a serious problem that they are taking the time to make a parent come for a meeting. Do the schools ever take screen shots of the bullying from off the victim's phone as proof? Or can they not do it because it's on Snapchat? I know those disappear.
I am in NYC, the NYC DOE has NO laws allowing us to access students phones as they are private property so while we *can* with student permission it gets very sticky to do so and have a parent not give permission, also snap chat they go away or kids delete. School officials hands are tied in so so many ways so when people place blame on the school it is incredibly frustrating. My advice to parents GO TO THE POLICE! If you have proof show the cops and hope they do something about it
Backpacks are private property and those are searched. That policy is ridiculous. If a student shows the school text messages, etc. that are bullying in nature, the school should be calling the police, suspending the student in question, etc. This hands off policy is absolutely stupid and makes NO sense at all. Sounds like an excuse to me. The school doesn't want to get involved, yet these kids are there for 6 plus hours a day.
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| Posted 10/24/17 8:46 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by DiamondGirl
Posted by FirstMate
Posted by DiamondGirl
You cannot kick kids out of public school--I am an educator--I am involved in bullying day in and day out as well and what the OP said is 100% true. The bullies parents are all "its not my kid" --its hard to get proof, cannot search kids phones, parents claim social media isnt their kid etc. it is terrible, very hard to successfully intervene and stop bullying bc 9 times out of 10 the parents support their kids regardless of if the behavior is wrong or just dont believe it
That is outrageous. I just can't imagine a school calling me to come in to tell me my kid is telling another kid to kill him/herself and just shrugging it off. That's ridiculous. Obviously the school is aware of a serious problem that they are taking the time to make a parent come for a meeting. Do the schools ever take screen shots of the bullying from off the victim's phone as proof? Or can they not do it because it's on Snapchat? I know those disappear.
I am in NYC, the NYC DOE has NO laws allowing us to access students phones as they are private property so while we *can* with student permission it gets very sticky to do so and have a parent not give permission, also snap chat they go away or kids delete. School officials hands are tied in so so many ways so when people place blame on the school it is incredibly frustrating. My advice to parents GO TO THE POLICE! If you have proof show the cops and hope they do something about it
Backpacks are private property and those are searched. That policy is ridiculous. If a student shows the school text messages, etc. that are bullying in nature, the school should be calling the police, suspending the student in question, etc. This hands off policy is absolutely stupid and makes NO sense at all. Sounds like an excuse to me. The school doesn't want to get involved, yet these kids are there for 6 plus hours a day.
You have no idea what you are talking about. A lot of what you said here is NOT correct in NYC. I have worked in a school for 13 years, believe me we get PLENTY involved and we DO go to the police when we have evidence that they will take seriously.
When you have experience working in a NYC public school we can talk. When you have had the NYPD say sorry we cant help tell the parents to come to us if they would like to file a complaint but you do not have enough evidence we can talk. When you see the lawsuits filed by parents for going into their childrens private property we can talk, until then please do not tell me its an excuse and schools do not want to get involved. MOST people who work in schools do so bc they love children, it is incredibly rude and insulting for you to assert that those same people are making excuses and don't care that students are bullied. You sound and are clueless.
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| Posted 10/24/17 9:19 AM |
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DiamondGirl
You are my I love you
Member since 7/09 18802 total posts
Name:
DiamondMama
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Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
also to add schools (again I speak for NYC) are not able to trace IP addresses the way police are SO lets say I accuse a student based on seeing a text or social media account for bullying--if I cannot trace the IP I can not say w certainty it is the student I am accusing, Mary can make a social media account saying she's Jenny--the school then punishes Jenny and the account is not legit....just one example of the issues that are encountered,
What NEEDS to be done is give schools the power to trace IP addresses and things of that nature so that we can properly handle these situations, that would be a step in the right direction
In general broad terms there need to be rules, regulations and laws for schools in dealing with all internet and social media
Message edited 10/24/2017 9:42:10 AM.
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| Posted 10/24/17 9:40 AM |
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jellybean78
:)
Member since 8/06 13103 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by DiamondGirl
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by DiamondGirl
Posted by FirstMate
Posted by DiamondGirl
You cannot kick kids out of public school--I am an educator--I am involved in bullying day in and day out as well and what the OP said is 100% true. The bullies parents are all "its not my kid" --its hard to get proof, cannot search kids phones, parents claim social media isnt their kid etc. it is terrible, very hard to successfully intervene and stop bullying bc 9 times out of 10 the parents support their kids regardless of if the behavior is wrong or just dont believe it
That is outrageous. I just can't imagine a school calling me to come in to tell me my kid is telling another kid to kill him/herself and just shrugging it off. That's ridiculous. Obviously the school is aware of a serious problem that they are taking the time to make a parent come for a meeting. Do the schools ever take screen shots of the bullying from off the victim's phone as proof? Or can they not do it because it's on Snapchat? I know those disappear.
I am in NYC, the NYC DOE has NO laws allowing us to access students phones as they are private property so while we *can* with student permission it gets very sticky to do so and have a parent not give permission, also snap chat they go away or kids delete. School officials hands are tied in so so many ways so when people place blame on the school it is incredibly frustrating. My advice to parents GO TO THE POLICE! If you have proof show the cops and hope they do something about it
Backpacks are private property and those are searched. That policy is ridiculous. If a student shows the school text messages, etc. that are bullying in nature, the school should be calling the police, suspending the student in question, etc. This hands off policy is absolutely stupid and makes NO sense at all. Sounds like an excuse to me. The school doesn't want to get involved, yet these kids are there for 6 plus hours a day.
You have no idea what you are talking about. A lot of what you said here is NOT correct in NYC. I have worked in a school for 13 years, believe me we get PLENTY involved and we DO go to the police when we have evidence that they will take seriously.
When you have experience working in a NYC public school we can talk. When you have had the NYPD say sorry we cant help tell the parents to come to us if they would like to file a complaint but you do not have enough evidence we can talk. When you see the lawsuits filed by parents for going into their childrens private property we can talk, until then please do not tell me its an excuse and schools do not want to get involved. MOST people who work in schools do so bc they love children, it is incredibly rude and insulting for you to assert that those same people are making excuses and don't care that students are bullied. You sound and are clueless.
I have no experience with bullying on LI thank God but my nephew did get bullied in NYC Public Middle school by some kid posting insensitive post about him on Instagram. My sister went straight to the principal and they were extremely proactive, contacting the kid his parents, etc and telling him if he continued he would be severely disciplined. My sister was very happy with how the whole situation was handled. Thankfully it stopped right away (my sister also told my nephew he had every right to defend himself and if necessary by force then be it).
I really hate hate that our kids are growing up in this world of social media. It's so easy for kids to be hard behind a screen name...it even happens on here with grown ass adults. So so sad.
Message edited 10/24/2017 10:27:35 PM.
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| Posted 10/24/17 10:26 PM |
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