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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
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..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by Tulips915
This is heartbreaking 
With all of the Anti-Bullying (Just yesterday all over social media), why aren't schools doing more??????????????????????????? It's always the same. Nothing happens until it escalates into death. Wasn't there something in the Bronx (?) just this week/last week where a kid killed his bully???? How is it getting to this point??
Because just like "thoughts and prayers" after a mass shooting all this "anti bullying, wear orange, hashtag this and that" is all just bullshitt.
It means nothing.
It looks good on social media.
It's good lip service.
But unless the schools and the PARENTS are doing something more concrete, nothing will ever change.
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Posted 10/20/17 1:53 PM  |
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mommy2be716
LIF Adult
Member since 1/16 2921 total posts
Name:
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Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
http://newyork.cbslocal.com/2017/10/20/garden-city-bullying/
CBS News ran a story on this incident
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| Posted 10/20/17 3:53 PM |
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Loveme
LIF Adult
Member since 6/11 3170 total posts
Name:
Me
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Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
I heard them talk about it on 1010WINS when I was in the car before. Glad it’s getting media attention. My heart hurts for all these kids, it’s such a scary time to be a child.
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| Posted 10/20/17 4:17 PM |
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Mago
LIF Infant
Member since 5/14 233 total posts
Name:
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
How awful for this poor little boy What kind of animals would do this to another child? And who are the parents that defend them? I hate that there are still schools that are brushing this behavior under the rug. And the nerve of the school to insinuate that this little boy's perception was different from reality! Why was the principal so lax as to not even attend the meeting? This is a serious enough incident to warrant the principal's presence.
I know it's difficult these days with relentless social media, but how does a parent raise a child today to have enough self-esteem to not let these animals get to them and bring them down, to just brush it off and not care what anyone thinks or says about you, to get them to understand that once you grow up none of this will have mattered and things get better? I hate that there are kids that are so severely affected by this at such a young age that they would even think to take their own lives.
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| Posted 10/20/17 4:50 PM |
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ChilisWife
God Bless America
Member since 5/05 3570 total posts
Name:
A.K.
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
There has always been bullying in schools since forever - I remember it well but the difference was that there was always a safe place to get away from it...after school....weekends....family. But now with social media I feel like it is 1000x worse. You can just never get away from it. Things go viral faster and spread to more people. It's completely overwhelming and hard to combat. It's constantly in these kids faces.
A girl in a neighboring town (here on LI) killed herself this week due to bullying....the school sent out a letter and it's heartbreaking. 8th grade. 8th friggin grade. That's a 13 year old. And everyone on Facebook is doing the "thoughts and prayers" thing but as stated above, unless something is DONE about it, it will keep happening.
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| Posted 10/20/17 6:18 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by ChilisWife
There has always been bullying in schools since forever - I remember it well but the difference was that there was always a safe place to get away from it...after school....weekends....family. But now with social media I feel like it is 1000x worse. You can just never get away from it. Things go viral faster and spread to more people. It's completely overwhelming and hard to combat. It's constantly in these kids faces.
A girl in a neighboring town (here on LI) killed herself this week due to bullying....the school sent out a letter and it's heartbreaking. 8th grade. 8th friggin grade. That's a 13 year old. And everyone on Facebook is doing the "thoughts and prayers" thing but as stated above, unless something is DONE about it, it will keep happening.
I really believe social media should be illegal until age 18. There is no need for kids to have or be on social media. It only leads to bad things...bullying, sexual predators, etc etc. Nothing good comes from it.
Setting up a social media account should require definitive proof of age and be more strictly regulated
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| Posted 10/20/17 6:31 PM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by ChilisWife
There has always been bullying in schools since forever - I remember it well but the difference was that there was always a safe place to get away from it...after school....weekends....family. But now with social media I feel like it is 1000x worse. You can just never get away from it. Things go viral faster and spread to more people. It's completely overwhelming and hard to combat. It's constantly in these kids faces.
A girl in a neighboring town (here on LI) killed herself this week due to bullying....the school sent out a letter and it's heartbreaking. 8th grade. 8th friggin grade. That's a 13 year old. And everyone on Facebook is doing the "thoughts and prayers" thing but as stated above, unless something is DONE about it, it will keep happening.
I really believe social media should be illegal until age 18. There is no need for kids to have or be on social media. It only leads to bad things...bullying, sexual predators, etc etc. Nothing good comes from it.
Setting up a social media account should require definitive proof of age and be more strictly regulated
YES!!!
I cannot believe how many of my daughtrer's friends have social media accounts at TEN. TEN years old with instagram, snap chat, etc.! Just opens up a whole can of worms, and SO unnecessary.
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| Posted 10/20/17 10:53 PM |
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Adri
Joy!
Member since 5/05 3116 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by ChilisWife
There has always been bullying in schools since forever - I remember it well but the difference was that there was always a safe place to get away from it...after school....weekends....family. But now with social media I feel like it is 1000x worse. You can just never get away from it. Things go viral faster and spread to more people. It's completely overwhelming and hard to combat. It's constantly in these kids faces.
A girl in a neighboring town (here on LI) killed herself this week due to bullying....the school sent out a letter and it's heartbreaking. 8th grade. 8th friggin grade. That's a 13 year old. And everyone on Facebook is doing the "thoughts and prayers" thing but as stated above, unless something is DONE about it, it will keep happening.
I really believe social media should be illegal until age 18. There is no need for kids to have or be on social media. It only leads to bad things...bullying, sexual predators, etc etc. Nothing good comes from it.
Setting up a social media account should require definitive proof of age and be more strictly regulated
YES!!!
I cannot believe how many of my daughtrer's friends have social media accounts at TEN. TEN years old with instagram, snap chat, etc.! Just opens up a whole can of worms, and SO unnecessary.
I agree, but you also need to know your kid. DS is 11 and has an Instagram account, that I can monitor since I follow him. He has his phone, but he know his phone is mine, and I can check it whenever I want.
One of his classmates is very sick, with mental health problems. Unfortunately, I have learned in the past that this kid has had suicidal thoughts. So sad. There are shows out there that parents let this kid watch, like "13 reasons why". It is very sad all around.
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| Posted 10/21/17 12:26 AM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Imo another problem is that while I do agree a log of things offends people...
But now the "cool" thing is to tell people they are crazy to be offended. Ever. If that makes sense
And people say whatever they want,no matter how crass or rude or flat out mean bc "we need to toughen up" and not be so serious etc
Nobody takes anyone's feelings into consideration.
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| Posted 10/21/17 1:09 AM |
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PhyllisNJoe
My Box Is Broken
Member since 6/11 9145 total posts
Name:
Phyllis
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by gina409
Imo another problem is that while I do agree a log of things offends people...
But now the "cool" thing is to tell people they are crazy to be offended. Ever. If that makes sense
And people say whatever they want,no matter how crass or rude or flat out mean bc "we need to toughen up" and not be so serious etc
Nobody takes anyone's feelings into consideration.
My reply to this has nothing to do with the OP or bullies - but I find it hard to take peoples feelings into consideration when it's become to new norm to be offended by practically everything. With bullies, no, you shouldn't have to "toughen up". The bullies should be stopped and the kids being bullied may need counseling to help them with coping skills.
I don't agree with people saying anything they want ( my mother has become this offender because in her words "I'm an old lady, I can do and say as I please") Have common decency as a human being for each other. Wouldn't that be lovely? The more I'm out and about on the regular, the more people disgust me. Everyone's got somewhere to go that's more important than you, so many people just look so unhappy, the "excuse me" to get by with a shopping cart is returned with a stare - What happened to " Oh, I;m sorry, I'm taking UP THE ENTIRE AISLE LIKE AN ASSHOLE" No - it's my fault I dared to go down THEIR aisle.
Went off on a tangent there - but you get what I'm saying
Message edited 10/21/2017 8:53:07 AM.
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| Posted 10/21/17 8:52 AM |
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Mrs213
????????
Member since 2/09 18986 total posts
Name:
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by Adri
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by ChilisWife
There has always been bullying in schools since forever - I remember it well but the difference was that there was always a safe place to get away from it...after school....weekends....family. But now with social media I feel like it is 1000x worse. You can just never get away from it. Things go viral faster and spread to more people. It's completely overwhelming and hard to combat. It's constantly in these kids faces.
A girl in a neighboring town (here on LI) killed herself this week due to bullying....the school sent out a letter and it's heartbreaking. 8th grade. 8th friggin grade. That's a 13 year old. And everyone on Facebook is doing the "thoughts and prayers" thing but as stated above, unless something is DONE about it, it will keep happening.
I really believe social media should be illegal until age 18. There is no need for kids to have or be on social media. It only leads to bad things...bullying, sexual predators, etc etc. Nothing good comes from it.
Setting up a social media account should require definitive proof of age and be more strictly regulated
YES!!!
I cannot believe how many of my daughtrer's friends have social media accounts at TEN. TEN years old with instagram, snap chat, etc.! Just opens up a whole can of worms, and SO unnecessary.
I agree, but you also need to know your kid. DS is 11 and has an Instagram account, that I can monitor since I follow him. He has his phone, but he know his phone is mine, and I can check it whenever I want.
One of his classmates is very sick, with mental health problems. Unfortunately, I have learned in the past that this kid has had suicidal thoughts. So sad. There are shows out there that parents let this kid watch, like "13 reasons why". It is very sad all around.
You're fooling yourself if you don't think he has social media he can hide from you. The kids have fake account they friend their parents on and real ones for friends. Look up "finsta and rinsta"
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| Posted 10/21/17 9:53 AM |
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pnbplus1
Family
Member since 5/09 5751 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
I agree, but you also need to know your kid. DS is 11 and has an Instagram account, that I can monitor since I follow him. He has his phone, but he know his phone is mine, and I can check it whenever I want.
-----------------------
In regards to the above that was posted earlier:
I think you need to be realistic and not think "oh, not my kid." The possibility exists that he has another acct that you don't know about. Kids are very good about hiding these things from their parents. He may not even access his real (hidden) acct from his phone since you check it but can use his friends phone instead. I'm not saying your child is doing this but more that you need to be aware that it can and does happen. In my line of work I come across kids/teens that have done just this and parents are shocked.
Message edited 10/21/2017 10:44:59 AM.
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| Posted 10/21/17 10:40 AM |
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BargainMama
LIF Adult
Member since 5/09 15657 total posts
Name:
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by Adri
Posted by BargainMama
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by ChilisWife
There has always been bullying in schools since forever - I remember it well but the difference was that there was always a safe place to get away from it...after school....weekends....family. But now with social media I feel like it is 1000x worse. You can just never get away from it. Things go viral faster and spread to more people. It's completely overwhelming and hard to combat. It's constantly in these kids faces.
A girl in a neighboring town (here on LI) killed herself this week due to bullying....the school sent out a letter and it's heartbreaking. 8th grade. 8th friggin grade. That's a 13 year old. And everyone on Facebook is doing the "thoughts and prayers" thing but as stated above, unless something is DONE about it, it will keep happening.
I really believe social media should be illegal until age 18. There is no need for kids to have or be on social media. It only leads to bad things...bullying, sexual predators, etc etc. Nothing good comes from it.
Setting up a social media account should require definitive proof of age and be more strictly regulated
YES!!!
I cannot believe how many of my daughtrer's friends have social media accounts at TEN. TEN years old with instagram, snap chat, etc.! Just opens up a whole can of worms, and SO unnecessary.
I agree, but you also need to know your kid. DS is 11 and has an Instagram account, that I can monitor since I follow him. He has his phone, but he know his phone is mine, and I can check it whenever I want.
One of his classmates is very sick, with mental health problems. Unfortunately, I have learned in the past that this kid has had suicidal thoughts. So sad. There are shows out there that parents let this kid watch, like "13 reasons why". It is very sad all around.
Well, the problem with this is that all of his friends probably have an account as well, and that's what makes it so much easier to bully each other. Johnny put a picture on Instagram and Jake doesn't like it, and starts talking about Johnny. And I'm sure it spirals from there throughout their group of friends. I see no reason why these kids need Instagram, musically, Snapchat and all of that
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| Posted 10/21/17 11:43 AM |
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WonderLady
LIF Infant
Member since 1/15 355 total posts
Name:
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Katareen
Ugh it's awful. If I ever found out my daughter was bullying anyone, she would be locked in her room for a month. I don't know how parents can be so oblivious to their kids behavior.
I hope this poor boy gets the help he needs 
Because most likely the parents are bullies too. Ever notice the "cliquey" moms at school or the pta who don't make you feel welcome? Like it's high school all over again?
It's that kind of behavior that trickles down to the kids.
Bullying is learned. Just like racism is learned.
Kids aren't born nasty bastards. Just like kids aren't born to see someone with a different skin color as something negative.
They learn it . At home.
Yes the social moms at school are definitely modeling bullying. You've posted on here about ten zillion times how you hate hanging around other moms etc. Maybe you're just an antisocial human being? And if so, there's nothing wrong with that, but please don't peg bullying on other parents at school who enjoy friendships and a sense of community. Makes it sound like you are just bitter that you have trouble being social so you blame it on everyone else being cliquey. And the PTA, don't even get me started, that's laughable. Yes, they are horrible bullies.
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| Posted 10/21/17 11:58 AM |
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Adri
Joy!
Member since 5/05 3116 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by pnbplus1
I agree, but you also need to know your kid. DS is 11 and has an Instagram account, that I can monitor since I follow him. He has his phone, but he know his phone is mine, and I can check it whenever I want.
-----------------------
In regards to the above that was posted earlier:
I think you need to be realistic and not think "oh, not my kid." The possibility exists that he has another acct that you don't know about. Kids are very good about hiding these things from their parents. He may not even access his real (hidden) acct from his phone since you check it but can use his friends phone instead. I'm not saying your child is doing this but more that you need to be aware that it can and does happen. In my line of work I come across kids/teens that have done just this and parents are shocked.
Yes, I'm aware of that. I know kids go steps ahead. I have heard from close friends things like that (although with older kids 13/14). DS might do it in the future. At this point not yet, since still our communication is good and he is new to Instagram and social media stuff, but I know teenage years are coming and I know things will get very tough... I was a teenager once  Even with the gps I have on his phone, I know that sometimes kids leave the phone at a friend's house and go somewhere else, so the parents think that their DC is in the friend's house.
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| Posted 10/21/17 12:27 PM |
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Pumpkin1
LIF Adult
Member since 12/05 3715 total posts
Name:
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Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Please don't flame me, but there appears to be some gaps in this story and i'd appreciate if you let me know if I'm missing something. Liam started being bullied after he started soccer in the spring, he lost some weight in the beginning of the summer and lost a lot more when he was away for 3 weeks to Saratoga. Did something happen to him in Saratoga? Did the bullying continue while he was in Saratoga?
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| Posted 10/21/17 12:55 PM |
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amac27
LIF Toddler
Member since 8/09 471 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by WonderLady
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Katareen
Ugh it's awful. If I ever found out my daughter was bullying anyone, she would be locked in her room for a month. I don't know how parents can be so oblivious to their kids behavior.
I hope this poor boy gets the help he needs
Because most likely the parents are bullies too. Ever notice the "cliquey" moms at school or the pta who don't make you feel welcome? Like it's high school all over again?
It's that kind of behavior that trickles down to the kids.
Bullying is learned. Just like racism is learned.
Kids aren't born nasty bastards. Just like kids aren't born to see someone with a different skin color as something negative.
They learn it . At home.
Yes the social moms at school are definitely modeling bullying. You've posted on here about ten zillion times how you hate hanging around other moms etc. Maybe you're just an antisocial human being? And if so, there's nothing wrong with that, but please don't peg bullying on other parents at school who enjoy friendships and a sense of community. Makes it sound like you are just bitter that you have trouble being social so you blame it on everyone else being cliquey. And the PTA, don't even get me started, that's laughable. Yes, they are horrible bullies.
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| Posted 10/21/17 2:26 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
I don't know why the pta always gets such a bad rap
In my experience they are helpful and nice and donso much or the school and the kids
Maybe I'm just lucky in my school
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| Posted 10/21/17 3:17 PM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 7983 total posts
Name:
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Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
I think most people at some point in their life, school career has experienced some kind of bulling, just like most females have experienced some form of sexual harassment, at some point.
Message edited 10/21/2017 3:29:43 PM.
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| Posted 10/21/17 3:29 PM |
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WonderLady
LIF Infant
Member since 1/15 355 total posts
Name:
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by gina409
I don't know why the pta always gets such a bad rap
In my experience they are helpful and nice and donso much or the school and the kids
Maybe I'm just lucky in my school
I've thought about this a lot. My honest answer to this is that I think some people feel guilt (wrongly so) that they don't have the time/ability or even desire to be around school a lot and that turns into unwarranted anger. We can not all be in all places at all times though and we don't all have to be interested in the same things. It takes everyone at all their different posts to keep the community going, whether that's being a school volunteer, or an executive of a company, or a waitress, a stay at home mom, a caregiver to elderly family, whatever it is. I've said it before and I'll say it again, the PTA hatred is lame. I don't know a single school in my area where the ladies on the PTA are like the Bad Moms characters. Everyone is down to earth and just trying to raise money etc.
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| Posted 10/21/17 3:43 PM |
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mommy2be716
LIF Adult
Member since 1/16 2921 total posts
Name:
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by Pumpkin1
Please don't flame me, but there appears to be some gaps in this story and i'd appreciate if you let me know if I'm missing something. Liam started being bullied after he started soccer in the spring, he lost some weight in the beginning of the summer and lost a lot more when he was away for 3 weeks to Saratoga. Did something happen to him in Saratoga? Did the bullying continue while he was in Saratoga?
not sure- i just copied and pasted the post from liam's mom on social media
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| Posted 10/21/17 3:50 PM |
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Adri
Joy!
Member since 5/05 3116 total posts
Name:
A
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by gina409
I don't know why the pta always gets such a bad rap
In my experience they are helpful and nice and donso much or the school and the kids
Maybe I'm just lucky in my school
I have my experience only, and I think the PTA parents in my school are great, very committed to the school and very generous with their time. But I can only speak from what I know, because it could be very different in other schools... so I don't think it is nice to make statements without knowing what is happening in another person's experience.
ETA: Gina, the last part wasn't directed at you, but another PP that did comments about someone who doesn't like the PTA parents.
Message edited 10/21/2017 7:32:39 PM.
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| Posted 10/21/17 6:59 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by WonderLady
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by Katareen
Ugh it's awful. If I ever found out my daughter was bullying anyone, she would be locked in her room for a month. I don't know how parents can be so oblivious to their kids behavior.
I hope this poor boy gets the help he needs
Because most likely the parents are bullies too. Ever notice the "cliquey" moms at school or the pta who don't make you feel welcome? Like it's high school all over again?
It's that kind of behavior that trickles down to the kids.
Bullying is learned. Just like racism is learned.
Kids aren't born nasty bastards. Just like kids aren't born to see someone with a different skin color as something negative.
They learn it . At home.
Yes the social moms at school are definitely modeling bullying. You've posted on here about ten zillion times how you hate hanging around other moms etc. Maybe you're just an antisocial human being? And if so, there's nothing wrong with that, but please don't peg bullying on other parents at school who enjoy friendships and a sense of community. Makes it sound like you are just bitter that you have trouble being social so you blame it on everyone else being cliquey. And the PTA, don't even get me started, that's laughable. Yes, they are horrible bullies.
Can you read? I wrote the CLIQUEY moms. Not the SOCIAL moms. CLIQUEY is the opposite of SOCIAL.
If you are social you enjoy socializing...you get along with everyone, you are outgoing, you make others feel welcome. If you are cliquey, you only socialize with those in your clique and you make others feel unwelcome.
Like the mean girls in high school who exclude others and bully others.
And show me where on this thread I said a word about the PTA moms? Or blamed them for modeling bullying behaviors? Where?
Stop putting words in my mouth and stop internalizing everything I say. I wasn't referring to social moms. Quite the opposite actually .
So before you go off on me, get it straight.
And as far as the pta, I wasn't referring to any of the PTA moms in this thread...not at all
You will be glad to know I went to a PTA meeting the otther night and loved it. And I am class mom this year too.
Go figure. Pretty good for such an antisocial human being as me huh?
Message edited 10/21/2017 9:10:10 PM.
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| Posted 10/21/17 9:00 PM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54917 total posts
Name:
..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by gina409
I don't know why the pta always gets such a bad rap
In my experience they are helpful and nice and donso much or the school and the kids
Maybe I'm just lucky in my school
No one brought up the pta on this thread.
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| Posted 10/21/17 9:01 PM |
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gina409
TWINS!
Member since 12/09 27635 total posts
Name:
g
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Re: Repost from Parenting: Bullying in GC
Posted by NervousNell
Posted by gina409
I don't know why the pta always gets such a bad rap
In my experience they are helpful and nice and donso much or the school and the kids
Maybe I'm just lucky in my school
No one brought up the pta on this thread.
Um??? You literally said the cliquey mom's at the pta??
And my post wasn't even directed at you
It was in general bc several times on several different posts I've seen many people act like the PTA is the worst place on earth
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| Posted 10/21/17 9:48 PM |
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