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owl
LIF Zygote
Member since 8/12 2 total posts
Name:
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HELP! What to do for a friend who lost a pregnancy?
One of my best friends recently lost her first pregnancy. Her and her husband have been struggling with infertility for a few years now, and this was the first time they got positive results... only to find out that they lost the baby. They're absolutely devastated.
This is one of my closest friends, and I want to do something for her. The hardest thing for me is the fact that we live 1,000 miles away from each other. I wish I could just scoop her up and give her a hug. 
Any ideas for a long-distance gesture?
I wouldn't wish infertility on my worst enemy. It's just so unfair.
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Posted 8/8/12 9:39 AM  |
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Teach723
Have faith. Believe. Dream.
Member since 8/10 2356 total posts
Name:
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Re: HELP! What to do for a friend who lost a pregnancy?
I think the best thing you can do is just be there for her. A phone call and text messages to let her know you're there to talk if she needs you. She may not respond or want to you, but she'll remember how you reached out. There's really just nothing you can really do to make that person feel better unfortunately. Time is all she needs, and support and understanding.
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| Posted 8/8/12 9:51 AM |
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owl
LIF Zygote
Member since 8/12 2 total posts
Name:
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Re: HELP! What to do for a friend who lost a pregnancy?
Posted by Teach723
I think the best thing you can do is just be there for her. A phone call and text messages to let her know you're there to talk if she needs you. She may not respond or want to you, but she'll remember how you reached out. There's really just nothing you can really do to make that person feel better unfortunately. Time is all she needs, and support and understanding.
Thanks for responding.
I looked at flights for next weekend just so we could hang out and have a girls weekend, but they're way out of my price range right now. The distance is killing me. 
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| Posted 8/8/12 9:59 AM |
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VeeJay
Love baby feet
Member since 2/09 2894 total posts
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Re: HELP! What to do for a friend who lost a pregnancy?
As someone who has struggled with infertility and m/c's, I would suggest small little gestures to ket her know that you are thinking of her and are there when she is ready to talk. Maybe a bouquet of flowers, her favorite snacks, or an edible arrangement.
I absolutely hated it when people would smother me asking me how I was feeling everyday. It is not an easy thing to get over, but having supportive friends helped.
((Hugs)) for your friend.
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| Posted 8/8/12 11:14 AM |
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lyss4525
LIF Infant
Member since 12/09 284 total posts
Name:
Alyssa
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HELP! What to do for a friend who lost a pregnancy?
You could send in dinner one night...something comforting like a mac and cheese or a baked ziti?
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| Posted 8/8/12 12:42 PM |
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InShock
life is good
Member since 10/06 9258 total posts
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Re: HELP! What to do for a friend who lost a pregnancy?
Something as simple as a card expressing your sympathy can go a long way.
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| Posted 8/8/12 12:45 PM |
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imyself
Member since 10/06 2938 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: HELP! What to do for a friend who lost a pregnancy?
My gf lost her baby a few months ago. She too had been struggling with IF and lives a distance away. I went and picked up a small stuffed animal and her favorite candy. I also got a m/c card from Hallmark. I wrote a heart felt message in there making sure to avoid lines like it was for the best, everything happens for a reason, better it happen now then later or it's God's plan. Those are just salt in the wounds. I spoke of the baby watching over them and how they will be parents. That i am there for them no matter what or when just call.
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| Posted 8/8/12 1:51 PM |
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LadyBug1209
Mommy to FOUR little men!
Member since 8/08 9655 total posts
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Re: HELP! What to do for a friend who lost a pregnancy?
I lost a baby in May, and speaking from experieice, all you have to do is be there for her... phone calls, texts, etc. Sometimes people try to do too much and it is sometimes worse than not doing anything at all. 
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| Posted 8/8/12 1:58 PM |
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LadyBug1209
Mommy to FOUR little men!
Member since 8/08 9655 total posts
Name:
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Re: HELP! What to do for a friend who lost a pregnancy?
Posted by imyself
I wrote a heart felt message in there making sure to avoid lines like it was for the best, everything happens for a reason, better it happen now then later or it's God's plan. Those are just salt in the wounds.
Yes, ITA. Try to avoid these comments!
I got these comments a lot and although they meant well, they were very a hurtful. A simple "I'm so sorry" or "I'm here for you" was all I wanted to hear.
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| Posted 8/8/12 2:01 PM |
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TessMike214
Gabriella Aubrey born 3/26!
Member since 5/10 2440 total posts
Name:
Tess
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Re: HELP! What to do for a friend who lost a pregnancy?
If you can't be with her physically, give a lot of calls & texts, to let her know that you are there for her during her time of need. If you are looking for something else to do, send her some flowers, that may cheer her up a little! I agree with a card too, expressing your sympathy, that definitely goes a long way.
Message edited 8/8/2012 2:08:26 PM.
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| Posted 8/8/12 2:07 PM |
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mrsboss
my little love
Member since 12/09 5054 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: HELP! What to do for a friend who lost a pregnancy?
I think a nice card letting her know you're thinking of her is perfect
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| Posted 8/8/12 2:25 PM |
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