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Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.

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Juliet
Family is Complete!

Member since 5/05

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Name:
Juliet

Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.

I would never expect gifts but I would expect that if you are going to plop yourself in my living room all week that you would buy some food/do a little cooking while here.

My IL's haven't been here to visit in a few years but when they did come and stay in a hotel and spend the days in our home, they wanted to be servedChat Icon DH had to let them know that if they were renting a car and doing A LOT of shopping (to be packed and mailed back to Poland) then they should grab some food and contribute a bit. Don't expect the two working adult children to cook and clean up while they sit in the living room, watch TV, use the internet and phone and WE paid for their hotelChat Icon Chat Icon

Okay, getting offChat Icon

Posted 6/2/11 5:50 PM
 
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FirstMate
My lil cowboy

Member since 10/10

7789 total posts

Name:

Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.

I never show up empty handed anywhere so I would definitely bring a gift for the hostess and for the kids too. I do that when I visit my roomates from college.

Posted 6/2/11 6:39 PM
 

Jenn627
Laaaaaaaambert!

Member since 5/08

9818 total posts

Name:
Jenn

Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.

If my mom came from out of town to visit me - hell no I wouldn't expect anything from her.

Ditto for my MIL.

They took care of us for 18 + years, why should they bring us stuff?

Posted 6/2/11 6:41 PM
 

DiamondGirl
You are my I love you

Member since 7/09

18802 total posts

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DiamondMama

Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.

No I would not. I generally do not show up empty handed to anyones home ever unless I am popping in. If I am invited over for dinner or as an overnight guest I always bring something wine, dessert, flowers etc.

Posted 6/2/11 7:00 PM
 

rsquared
Sweet P is here!

Member since 4/11

2026 total posts

Name:
R

Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.

Posted by DiamondGirl

No I would not. I generally do not show up empty handed to anyones home ever unless I am popping in. If I am invited over for dinner or as an overnight guest I always bring something wine, dessert, flowers etc.



I agree!

Posted 6/2/11 9:46 PM
 

MrsA1012
love my little girl !

Member since 9/10

5777 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.

I would never show up at someone's house without bringing something.

Posted 6/2/11 9:52 PM
 

babyAin11
LIF Toddler

Member since 7/10

445 total posts

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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.

I never show up empty handed when we are guests in someone's home. But I definitely do not expect my parent's or in law's to show up with gifts every time they visit.

Posted 6/2/11 9:52 PM
 

babymakes3
Almost there!

Member since 7/06

7376 total posts

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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.

I don't expect them to bring anything but I think I would be a little hurt that they didn't for the kids.

My parents don't visit often, ILs do a couple times a year, and they all bring something for the kids. They always take us to dinner once or twice and help cook, clean, care for the kids, etc. No one ever sits back and waits to be served. It's a lot of work having a guest in your house, even if it's your own mother, and I would be annoyed if they didn't do a thing while visiting.

Posted 6/2/11 10:36 PM
 

schmora15
LIF Adult

Member since 9/08

2476 total posts

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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.

Posted by memi7206

If Im reading this right, and by "your own adult child" you mean if a parent was going to visit their own grown child......should they bring something? No, I would never expect my parents to bring anything while they were visiting me.



Same here..I'd feel terrible that they're spending $ on a hotel.

Posted 6/2/11 10:40 PM
 

dpli
Daylight savings :)

Member since 5/05

13973 total posts

Name:
D

Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.

I was raised never to show up empty handed.

I no longer have my parents, but I know they would never visit without bringing something - a bottle of wine, dessert, a toy for my DS, it's just how they were. Even if the parent isn't going to bring something, it would be nice (and decent) to offer to help with the meals, clean up after, take you out for at least one dinner.

Generally, I think anyone who is staying as a guest in someone else's home should offer to buy at least one meal if they are staying more than one night. Unless they are flat broke and you really like them Chat Icon

Posted 6/2/11 10:41 PM
 

Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!

Member since 8/05

14470 total posts

Name:
Veronica

Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.

Posted by MrsA714

Absolutely. But I was always taught to never show up at someone's house empty handed.



^This


ETA: Mind you if its my Dad or step mother, even my aunt visiting, they may not bring something but their do something. Like my stepmom will make tortillas (which are yummy) My Dad will fix something in the house etc and my aunt will clean.

NO none of those things are requested or required when visiting. Bring me flowers or a cake, I don't care.

But that's because I am the grown child in question. But for myself, if I visit like that, I'm going to be bringing a baked good from home (if its close) or flowers. Regardless if I'm in a hotel or not.

Message edited 6/3/2011 10:10:29 AM.

Posted 6/3/11 10:06 AM
 

Diana712
RIP my beloved Brother Richard

Member since 5/07

6710 total posts

Name:
Diana

Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.

I would never show up empty handed even if I was coming for dinner .. I bring a dessert and a bottle of wine every time.. If I was being fed by the person of the house for days at a time , I would go food shopping for them or with them and foot the bill..

Posted 6/3/11 12:49 PM
 

CookieMomster
Golden

Member since 5/09

6414 total posts

Name:
Me

Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.

No and NO!!! I was taught you never go into someone else's house empty handed (And my "raiser" wasn't the one who taught me this). In the words of Blanche Devaroe "That would be Unsouthern"

Posted 6/3/11 1:58 PM
 

sj-girl
Happy Family of 4

Member since 5/08

5654 total posts

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Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.

I always try to bring a little something. But there have been a few times i have forgetten, so i made sure to clean up after lunch, wash dishes.load dishwasher, wipe down the table, etc.

Posted 6/3/11 2:23 PM
 

MikesBride
LIF Adult

Member since 12/09

1245 total posts

Name:
Ilana

Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.

If the trip is too far for me to bring something (i.e. we're flying) I insist on going out to a nice dinner, our treat. I can't ever show up empty handed, it doesn't feel right.

Posted 6/3/11 8:05 PM
 

smdl
I love Gary too..on a plate!

Member since 5/06

32461 total posts

Name:
me

Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.

If it was my mom, she would offer to participate in the cost of the groceries.

If it was my sister, she would pay for a ONE time $17 pizza meal for a 7 day stay.

Posted 6/3/11 8:15 PM
 

gdubs
This baby is awesome!

Member since 11/10

2467 total posts

Name:
Gina

Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.

No matter when I am going to someone's house I bring something. However when my ILs come and stay with us and we take them out to dinner and pay for everything we do they don't even bring a bottle of wine.

Posted 6/3/11 10:20 PM
 

Alexandra17
Keep It Positive

Member since 4/09

6262 total posts

Name:
Alexandra (ali)

Re: Okay, since we are on Etiquette...I have a question.

I never like to go anywhere empty handed but if my mom was coming over just to visit or get something (mundane stuff) I wouldn't expect.

Posted 6/3/11 10:25 PM
 
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