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newmom2be
LIF Infant
Member since 9/09 156 total posts
Name:
Samantha
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HELP..I cant stop crying...
So DH made a stupid statement to me last night and said "You need to be a wife and a mother...not just a mother"!! I guess he wants me to be more affectionate towards him & he is ready to dtd even if my 6 week apptmt isnt until next week and As if I havent been a wife lately because Ive been trying to adapt to being a new mom...
I am almost 5 weeks post partum and I had a VERY difficult labor & recovery to say the least. I think Ive done a good job with  so far and excuse me if I dont feel very sexy lately (I dont!)
Now I am extremly sad because of what he said & doubting myself as a wife.
I told him he needs to be more understanding...he didnt respond!
I mean...I am sleepy, overwhelmed, still not feeling like myself, and still trying to juggling a million things at once.
Men dont have ANY of the changes that we do...their bodies are not affected at ALL and to thik I can just snap back to the old me is inconsiderate (I WISH I COULD!!) but I cant...it takes time.
So on this beautiful day I've been in the house crying to myself because my DH is a JERK right now...
Sorry had to vent....
How do you ladies juggle DH needs and everything else too??? I dont feel like even entertaining his selfish requests but I guess I will have to sooner or later??
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Posted 4/1/10 2:51 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17789 total posts
Name:
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Re: HELP..I cant stop crying...
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| Posted 4/1/10 2:52 PM |
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: HELP..I cant stop crying...
That really isn't fair of DH to say that to you. You may not be ready. Believe me... first time after is hard and hurts. I waited 6 weeks and was in pain so DH said to wait.
I know men have urges, but he really should be more supportive of you.
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| Posted 4/1/10 2:54 PM |
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brownie
Baby #1 is here!
Member since 11/08 13903 total posts
Name:
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Re: HELP..I cant stop crying...
You're 5 WEEKS PP!
He needs a major azz-kicking...does he realize what your body just went through? All your hormones changing now? All the stress that comes with motherhood? The beginning is HARD and he should be helping and supporting you, not making you feel badly. Tell him to grow up and realize you're parents now, its not all about him. While I understand the need of having adult time, 5 weeks PP is SOOOOO early, he needs to wake up and check his attitude. Hang in there...he'll get it (hopefully). And if not, have him read these comments.
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| Posted 4/1/10 2:56 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19454 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: HELP..I cant stop crying...
Many . You are doing a fantastic job. It is really hard at first. I would start out by making sure that you are taking care of yourself first. Once you feel a little more like your old self, other things will fall into place. I would start by saying to DH, please hold DC so I can take a shower, get dressed and made up a little. Give DH a kiss and say thanks. DH may not show it but he needs recognition too. It is hard. Good luck
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| Posted 4/1/10 2:56 PM |
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Linda1003
love my 2 boys
Member since 8/08 10923 total posts
Name:
Linda
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Re: HELP..I cant stop crying...
Posted by brownie
You're 5 WEEKS PP!
He needs a major azz-kicking...does he realize what your body just went through? All your hormones changing now? All the stress that comes with motherhood? The beginning is HARD and he should be helping and supporting you, not making you feel badly. Tell him to grow up and realize you're parents now, its not all about him. While I understand the need of having adult time, 5 weeks PP is SOOOOO early, he needs to wake up and check his attitude. Hang in there...he'll get it (hopefully). And if not, have him read these comments.
Ugggg ITA. Im SOOO ANGRY AT HIM!!! I can't even say anything b/c I'd be WAYYYY HARSHER than this!!! GROW UP!!!
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| Posted 4/1/10 2:59 PM |
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4PsInaPod
My Loves <3
Member since 7/07 10079 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: HELP..I cant stop crying...
You are 5 weeks PP!!!!!!!! I am mad for you. I wasn't even thinking se x at 5 weeks PP, he** 8 weeks was even to soon for me!!! You need to sit him down and discuss this with him, seriously. He needs a wake up call, that is not fair at all. He should be supporting you right now, not bringing you down. Those first few weeks are hard, for me it was even longer with my baby blues. I NEEDED DH's encouragement to get me through it, he needs to grow up IMHO
ETA: Tell him he needs to be a supportive husband.
Message edited 4/1/2010 3:21:14 PM.
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| Posted 4/1/10 3:20 PM |
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CrankyPants
I'm cranky
Member since 7/06 18178 total posts
Name:
Mama Cranky
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Re: HELP..I cant stop crying...
Posted by DPerotti
You are 5 weeks PP!!!!!!!! I am mad for you. I wasn't even thinking se x at 5 weeks PP, he** 8 weeks was even to soon for me!!! You need to sit him down and discuss this with him, seriously. He needs a wake up call, that is not fair at all. He should be supporting you right now, not bringing you down. Those first few weeks are hard, for me it was even longer with my baby blues. I NEEDED DH's encouragement to get me through it, he needs to grow up IMHO
ETA: Tell him he needs to be a supportive husband.
ITA
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| Posted 4/1/10 3:27 PM |
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twinkletoes807
Mommy's Girls! ♥
Member since 11/07 10116 total posts
Name:
Gabi
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Re: HELP..I cant stop crying...
Not for nothing Honey, you need to find the strength to rip your DH a new assshole! Like the other ladies have already said, tell him to grow up and get over himself. If he needs loving that badly, tell him to find a nice quiet corner and go to town on HIMSELF! I really want to kick his asss for you right now! When you are ready, you are ready. Tell him he'll just have to wait.  
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| Posted 4/1/10 3:40 PM |
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MsSissy
xoxoxo
Member since 3/07 39159 total posts
Name:
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Re: HELP..I cant stop crying...
Posted by brownie
You're 5 WEEKS PP!
He needs a major azz-kicking...does he realize what your body just went through? All your hormones changing now? All the stress that comes with motherhood? The beginning is HARD and he should be helping and supporting you, not making you feel badly. Tell him to grow up and realize you're parents now, its not all about him. While I understand the need of having adult time, 5 weeks PP is SOOOOO early, he needs to wake up and check his attitude. Hang in there...he'll get it (hopefully). And if not, have him read these comments.
I agree.
Making you feel this way, isn't going to make you want to be closer to him physically. And he needs to realize that SOON!
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| Posted 4/1/10 3:42 PM |
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pharmcat2000
Mom of 2 + 1
Member since 10/05 7395 total posts
Name:
Catherine
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Re: HELP..I cant stop crying...
How do I juggle DH's needs and everything else? I don't!!! I'm sorry but at 5 weeks PP, DH just had to DEAL!!!!! I had a c-section and I convinced my DH that we couldn't do anything until at least my 8 week checkup. He could just see how exhausted and overwhelmed I was so he didn't even ask...and believe me, he is not the most mature of men to be able to recognize this. I'm sorry, but you need to tell your DH to grow up! By being a good mother, you ARE being a good wife!! And, you are still recovering from the trauma, yes TRAUMA of childbirth!!!
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| Posted 4/1/10 3:50 PM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: HELP..I cant stop crying...
Oh no. Your DH is being totally unreasonable. HE needs to try being a better husband and father by being more supportive!!! Your hormones are a mess, I was still bleeding at 5 weeks, you probably haven't slept in days and you're just learning this new way of life!! That's not fair of him AT ALL!
I didn't let my DH near me until about 8 weeks and that was hard for me... and him too, because the man measures the success of a relationship by how often you have sex... but he didn't push the issue.
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| Posted 4/1/10 3:55 PM |
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dm24angel
Happiness
Member since 5/05 34581 total posts
Name:
Donna
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Re: HELP..I cant stop crying...
I would have told him he's sleeping on the couch and he needs to learn to be a husband. I'm sorry thats just awful.
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| Posted 4/1/10 3:58 PM |
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AnnBrunoXO
2 Girls For Me!
Member since 5/05 4377 total posts
Name:
MaMMa
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Re: HELP..I cant stop crying...
I think its important to realize that this is all new to your DH. Before the baby came along - DH had you all to himself. Now - baby is first priority (at least most of the time) and it may cause him a bit of frustration. Just as us women experience adjustments in our routine as "new mothers" - men experience their own adjustments to the whole baby scene, routine etc...they may even go through a sort of PP depression of their own. So much attention goes to the babies (as so it should) but sometimes the men in our lives may feel a bit left out. He probably didn't know the right way to approach you and it came out the wrong way - im sure he didn't mean to hurt you in any way.
I won't call your DH names but - i think a big part of it is an adjustment for him - im sure a night out, dinner or movie without the baby and a nice talk would help.
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| Posted 4/1/10 3:59 PM |
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Celt
~~~~~~~~~~
Member since 4/08 7758 total posts
Name:
colette
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Re: HELP..I cant stop crying...
There needs to be a "New Father Academy" you know, like "Tool Academy"???? WHO ARE THESE MEN who think 5wks pp (after a 40 wk pregnancy BY THE FLUCKING WAY) = hot stuff in the sack??? Seriously!!!!!!!!!
OP if you honestly feel too hormonal or emotional to have this conversation right now you need to recruit someone to help - are you close to your MIL? Can you have a word with her and get him to back the F off for now???? Or even your own mom???? Any good girlfriend that he has a good relationship with??? I know it's  to talk about the intimate stuff with outside people but you sound like you're really hurting and he is in LA LA Land. He needs a reality check FAST. You keep taking care of yourself and that little baby - in your household his needs come last right now. DEAD LAST. It's not permanent but it IS reality, for NOW.
Uggggh I am aggravated for you, like the pps have all said
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| Posted 4/1/10 4:01 PM |
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mooshyboo
So Blessed!
Member since 11/07 6297 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: HELP..I cant stop crying...
Posted by twinkletoes807
Not for nothing Honey, you need to find the strength to rip your DH a new assshole! Like the other ladies have already said, tell him to grow up and get over himself. If he needs loving that badly, tell him to find a nice quiet corner and go to town on HIMSELF! I really want to kick his asss for you right now! When you are ready, you are ready. Tell him he'll just have to wait.
ITA with Gabi!
Sorry you were in the house crying on this beautiful day! Here are some
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| Posted 4/1/10 5:16 PM |
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pickles16
Real Estate Professional
Member since 11/07 17227 total posts
Name:
Jen
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Re: HELP..I cant stop crying...
Posted by brownie
You're 5 WEEKS PP!
He needs a major azz-kicking...does he realize what your body just went through? All your hormones changing now? All the stress that comes with motherhood? The beginning is HARD and he should be helping and supporting you, not making you feel badly. Tell him to grow up and realize you're parents now, its not all about him. While I understand the need of having adult time, 5 weeks PP is SOOOOO early, he needs to wake up and check his attitude. Hang in there...he'll get it (hopefully). And if not, have him read these comments.
WHAT SHE SAID!!!!
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| Posted 4/1/10 5:36 PM |
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curliegirl
He's here!!!!
Member since 3/06 10128 total posts
Name:
Gina
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Re: HELP..I cant stop crying...
Personally I would kick him in the ballzzzz with some steel toed boots as hard as I could then ask if he's up for some nooky.......but that's just me.....
No, honestly, does your DH not realize life as he knows it is not about him being first anymore??????? And it took 9 months of you giving your body up for that little baby, which is now sucking more life out of you. Maybe he should think about you before he speaks....
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| Posted 4/1/10 5:48 PM |
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Janice
Sweet Jessie Quinn
Member since 5/05 27567 total posts
Name:
Janice
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Re: HELP..I cant stop crying...
they have no idea.
my appt isn't until next week and dh kept bothering me to just do it the other night.
when he asked for something else...what could i say? so that happened.
is it possible for you to do that? "something else?"
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| Posted 4/1/10 5:50 PM |
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juanvi
Get Out!
Member since 10/06 4463 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: HELP..I cant stop crying...
I've been seeing posts like this from time to time and I just can't believe it. I'm sorry you're going through this and he just needs to deal.
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| Posted 4/1/10 6:37 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: HELP..I cant stop crying...
Posted by dm24angel
I would have told him
Posted by dm24angel
he needs to learn to be a husband.
I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH THIS.
I am so sorry but he is being a complete jerk and WAAAAYY out of line.
Message edited 4/1/2010 6:44:31 PM.
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| Posted 4/1/10 6:43 PM |
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newmom2be
LIF Infant
Member since 9/09 156 total posts
Name:
Samantha
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Re: HELP..I cant stop crying...
Thanks ladies!!
So I simply couldnt deal and I felt like exploding at any minute...so I handed off to my not-so DH...jumped in the shower and went for a mani/pedi!! 
On my way out the house we got into another little spat over something stupid but I left...
We are in seperate rooms now...not speaking to each other and I cant deal with him right now. I am WAY too emotional/hormonal to even go there with him so Im just going to chill out and maybe tomorrow "if" I feel better I will attempt to tell him how I feel....
Thanks for the encouragement and the hugs...I really appreciate it! Some of your posts actually made me crack a smile  (very therapeutic!!)
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| Posted 4/1/10 6:50 PM |
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LoriH
There's no place like home
Member since 8/07 4110 total posts
Name:
Lori
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Re: HELP..I cant stop crying...
Good for you. He is being an azz. I hope that later or tomorrow, when you cool down a bit the two of you can talk about things. Remember this is all new to him too. I swear men go through their own version of PPD after a baby.
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| Posted 4/1/10 7:33 PM |
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itkocak
Member since 7/07 7639 total posts
Name:
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Re: HELP..I cant stop crying...
Message edited 11/28/2011 3:49:18 PM.
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| Posted 4/1/10 7:45 PM |
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pixie
Member since 7/07 2089 total posts
Name:
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Re: HELP..I cant stop crying...
Posted by imthekevinofcindyandkevin
2 birds w/1 stone?
seriously though.
he's being a tad insensitive not to mention @ 5 weeks postpartum unrealistic.
Eww and .
I would have either thrown something really hard at his head or smacked him across the face. At 5 weeks nobody was coming NEAR me- your an emotional and physical wreck. Hes insensitive and needs a reality check. He needs to understand that attitude does not work, it only makes him less attractive.
to you. Hang in there.
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| Posted 4/1/10 8:18 PM |
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