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DreamComeTrue
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/11 541 total posts
Name:
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WWYD? Babysitting dilemma for wedding - LONG! Updated
I talked to DH and I think we have worked something out. The kids will be at FILs for the night and we will be there by 7:30/8:00 when DS usually wakes up. We will bring over all their belongings in advance and I'll deal with the bf'ing when the time comes. You all brought up valid points. Thank you.
Message edited 7/1/2013 10:21:22 PM.
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Posted 7/1/13 5:08 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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WWYD? Babysitting dilemma for wedding - LONG!
Why not just get them after the wedding and have them stay at your moms. Use your BF as an excuse and thats that.
Me personally, I would leave thenm at fil house.
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| Posted 7/1/13 5:11 PM |
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Kidsaplenty
Sister love
Member since 2/06 5971 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: WWYD? Babysitting dilemma for wedding - LONG!
Honestly I wouldn't be comfortable watching them in the house of someone I hav no relationship with either, so I don't think your FIL is wrong. I would just suck it up, it's one night and pick them up the following morning.
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| Posted 7/1/13 5:15 PM |
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TtcDc2
LIF Toddler
Member since 1/13 431 total posts
Name:
Mel
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Re: WWYD? Babysitting dilemma for wedding - LONG!
If im gettin this straight ur mom has no filter n has had issues with people including inlaws? If that was the case i would not stay at someone's house that i did not feel comfortable at. Your fil is doin you a favor by offering to watch both children. You have to accept n work out the plans around that. As far as breastfeeding can you pump n give bottles. I kno it's a lot of work for you but mayb the day b4 wedding you can drop off the bigger items that r needed for fil?
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| Posted 7/1/13 5:16 PM |
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Re: WWYD? Babysitting dilemma for wedding - LONG!
I would try to persuade FIL to babysit and your mother's house. But I can understand why it is uncomfortable for him but it is a lot more work for you at that point. It will only work if DH is on your side about it.
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| Posted 7/1/13 5:16 PM |
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LILady7
LIF Infant
Member since 2/13 337 total posts
Name:
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WWYD? Babysitting dilemma for wedding - LONG!
I don't think your FIL is being selfish at all -- I can see how it would be awkward to watch your children at your Mom's house. That being said, if you don't want them to spend the night can you get a hotel room just for the night of the wedding and have him watch them there? That's really the only alternative I can think of. Hope you guys can figure something out.
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| Posted 7/1/13 5:17 PM |
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JSDB
<3
Member since 1/13 1329 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD? Babysitting dilemma for wedding - LONG!
can you spend the night at FIL house? I understand why he wouldnt feel comfortable watching them at your parents house, but understand you wanting to spend the night where they are.
Packing up stuff for the babies is inconvenient but its only one night and not that big of a deal. But, I totally get you on the BF component and i would 100% want to sleep where the baby sleeps.
Edit: if wedding doesnt end too late you could get a hotel room near wedding, have FIL put the kids down and then after wedding you can relieve him and he can go home and you and DH can sleep in hotel room.
Message edited 7/1/2013 5:26:18 PM.
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| Posted 7/1/13 5:22 PM |
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Otherme
Square head cutie pants
Member since 3/06 6899 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD? Babysitting dilemma for wedding - LONG!
Instead of staying with your parents after the wedding, can you go and stay with FIL? That way you'll be with the kids that night and can BF if need be, and be there the next morning.
Or, if you ask him would your FIL pick them up and bring them back to your mom's house, watch them at your mom's house just while you're at the wedding, and then when you guys all get home, he goes back home? That way his contact with your mom is minimal.
Yes, bringing all the extra stuff to FIL's house is going to be a pain, but it could be a bit of an imposition to ask your FIL to watch the kids (after he offered) at someone else's house instead of where he lives. You'd be bringing half that stuff to your parents (diapers, clothing) anyway right?
If FIL is someone you trust to pick them up and watch them, then he should get the option to do it at a place where he is more comfortable.
However, the only reason i'd consider asking him to do it at your mom's house instead is if you think your kids wouldn't sleep at your FIL's house and would cause him problems.
good luck!
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| Posted 7/1/13 5:26 PM |
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ElizaRags35
My 2 Girls
Member since 2/09 20494 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: WWYD? Babysitting dilemma for wedding - LONG!
Posted by Kidsaplenty
Honestly I wouldn't be comfortable watching them in the house of someone I hav no relationship with either, so I don't think your FIL is wrong. I would just suck it up, it's one night and pick them up the following morning.
ITA.
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| Posted 7/1/13 5:27 PM |
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peanutbutter2
Carpe diem!
Member since 11/10 5287 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD? Babysitting dilemma for wedding - LONG!
I don't think your FIL is being unreasonable. I would not be comfortable staying at the house of someone who I didn't get along with it.
If you want your FIL to watch them, then I think you need to made do with them staying at his house for the night. Otherwise, you will probably have to make other arrangements. As another poster said, maybe a hotel is a suitable option.
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| Posted 7/1/13 5:28 PM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Re: WWYD? Babysitting dilemma for wedding - LONG!
Posted by Kidsaplenty
Honestly I wouldn't be comfortable watching them in the house of someone I hav no relationship with either, so I don't think your FIL is wrong. I would just suck it up, it's one night and pick them up the following morning.
Agreed.
No way would I watch kids at someone else's house that I have no relationship with. I'm with your FIL on that one
I think you need to figure it out and let FIL watch them.
I also think your mom needs to mind her own business and not throw gasoline on the fire.
ETA: if you absolutely cant take the idea of being without the kids one night, Pick them up on the way home from your FIL. Yes your DS will be sleeping but he'll go back to sleep I'm sure he will fall back asleep easily.
Message edited 7/1/2013 5:32:43 PM.
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| Posted 7/1/13 5:30 PM |
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Lauren82
LIF Adult
Member since 10/06 4580 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: WWYD? Babysitting dilemma for wedding - LONG!
Is having your older DS stay with your FIL and the baby staying at the wedding with you an option? Maybe you could have a babysitter come to the wedding and watch the baby in the bridal suite so you could still bf as needed, and then bring the baby home to your parents that night. You could then pick up your older DS the next morning.
My parents are friendly with my inlaws, and I wouldn't ask either one to watch the kids at the other's house...I just think it would be awkward for them any way you look at it. I wouldn't want to hang out in someone else's house, especially someone I don't really get along with.
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| Posted 7/1/13 5:35 PM |
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Karen
Just chillin'!!
Member since 1/06 9690 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: WWYD? Babysitting dilemma for wedding - LONG!
Sorry, but I am on your FIL's side. There is absolutely no reason why he should be made uncomfortable, especially since he graciously offered to watch both kids (including a newborn) so you could enjoy the wedding.
Yes, it's a little more work for you and it does stink, but you can thank your mom for that.
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| Posted 7/1/13 5:38 PM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD? Babysitting dilemma for wedding - LONG!
Posted by ElizaRags35
Posted by Kidsaplenty
Honestly I wouldn't be comfortable watching them in the house of someone I hav no relationship with either, so I don't think your FIL is wrong. I would just suck it up, it's one night and pick them up the following morning.
ITA.
Totally agree with this, too!
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| Posted 7/1/13 5:40 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Re: WWYD? Babysitting dilemma for wedding - LONG!
Posted by Kidsaplenty
Honestly I wouldn't be comfortable watching them in the house of someone I hav no relationship with either, so I don't think your FIL is wrong. I would just suck it up, it's one night and pick them up the following morning.
This ! If I was your FIL I would feel strange in your parents house. If it was your house that would be different.
I side with FIL on this one
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| Posted 7/1/13 5:42 PM |
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DreamComeTrue
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/11 541 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD? Babysitting dilemma for wedding - LONG!
Posted by Otherme
Or, if you ask him would your FIL pick them up and bring them back to your mom's house, watch them at your mom's house just while you're at the wedding, and then when you guys all get home, he goes back home? That way his contact with your mom is minimal.
Yes, bringing all the extra stuff to FIL's house is going to be a pain, but it could be a bit of an imposition to ask your FIL to watch the kids (after he offered) at someone else's house instead of where he lives. You'd be bringing half that stuff to your parents (diapers, clothing) anyway right?
If FIL is someone you trust to pick them up and watch them, then he should get the option to do it at a place where he is more comfortable.
However, the only reason i'd consider asking him to do it at your mom's house instead is if you think your kids wouldn't sleep at your FIL's house and would cause him problems.
good luck!
The whole reason for this post is bc he doesn't want to watch them at my parents house (and then go home when we are done with wedding). As for bringing half the stuff to my parents, actually no. All that is kept there. We just bring clothes when we go. And we'd be in town and settled for about 5 days prior to wedding. So it would be like packing for a separate trip mid trip. DS sleeps fine wherever. The new baby will be up every few hours likely. It's not about that. It's more like I feel they'd rather us bring a carload of necessities to them rather than them just bringing themselves to the kids. A hotel room is not an option. And limo is taking DH and I back to my parents after wedding. If we want to be with kids we'd have to drive an additional half hour exhausted. I understand them not being comfortable at my parents house but its only for a few hours, my mom won't even be there, it's stability for the kids and all times I've babysat, I went to the kids homes. It just makes more sense. But apparently not....
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| Posted 7/1/13 5:43 PM |
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DreamComeTrue
LIF Adolescent
Member since 1/11 541 total posts
Name:
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Re: WWYD? Babysitting dilemma for wedding - LONG!
Posted by Karen
Yes, it's a little more work for you and it does stink, but you can thank your mom for that.
Oh I'm still going to be having a talk with her. I'm really getting tired of all the extra stress because of her.
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| Posted 7/1/13 5:47 PM |
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Karen
Just chillin'!!
Member since 1/06 9690 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Re: WWYD? Babysitting dilemma for wedding - LONG!
Posted by DreamComeTrue
Posted by Otherme
Or, if you ask him would your FIL pick them up and bring them back to your mom's house, watch them at your mom's house just while you're at the wedding, and then when you guys all get home, he goes back home? That way his contact with your mom is minimal.
Yes, bringing all the extra stuff to FIL's house is going to be a pain, but it could be a bit of an imposition to ask your FIL to watch the kids (after he offered) at someone else's house instead of where he lives. You'd be bringing half that stuff to your parents (diapers, clothing) anyway right?
If FIL is someone you trust to pick them up and watch them, then he should get the option to do it at a place where he is more comfortable.
However, the only reason i'd consider asking him to do it at your mom's house instead is if you think your kids wouldn't sleep at your FIL's house and would cause him problems.
good luck!
The whole reason for this post is bc he doesn't want to watch them at my parents house (and then go home when we are done with wedding). As for bringing half the stuff to my parents, actually no. All that is kept there. We just bring clothes when we go. And we'd be in town and settled for about 5 days prior to wedding. So it would be like packing for a separate trip mid trip. DS sleeps fine wherever. The new baby will be up every few hours likely. It's not about that. It's more like I feel they'd rather us bring a carload of necessities to them rather than them just bringing themselves to the kids. A hotel room is not an option. And limo is taking DH and I back to my parents after wedding. If we want to be with kids we'd have to drive an additional half hour exhausted. I understand them not being comfortable at my parents house but its only for a few hours, my mom won't even be there, it's stability for the kids and all times I've babysat, I went to the kids homes. It just makes more sense. But apparently not....
Yes, it would make more sense, but unfortunately due to your mom's behavior, that option is off the table. I would just accept your FIL's offer as it stands, or find another babysitter, and risk causing issues with him.
I also don't think it's fair to ask your FIL to drive home after a late-night wedding, but that's another issue entirely.
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| Posted 7/1/13 5:47 PM |
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Re: WWYD? Babysitting dilemma for wedding - LONG!
Posted by Karen
Sorry, but I am on your FIL's side. There is absolutely no reason why he should be made uncomfortable, especially since he graciously offered to watch both kids (including a newborn) so you could enjoy the wedding.
Yes, it's a little more work for you and it does stink, but you can thank your mom for that.
I totally agree with this.
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| Posted 7/1/13 6:02 PM |
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Kitten1929
LIF Adult
Member since 1/13 6040 total posts
Name:
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WWYD? Babysitting dilemma for wedding - LONG!
I am so confused.
You've committed to letting FIL watch them - did you tell him he would be watching them at your mom's?
Personally, I would let them stay over at FIL's or pick them up on the way home. I don't see a reason to make more stress out of the situation for anyone involved.
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| Posted 7/1/13 6:02 PM |
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Jacksmommy
My love muffin!
Member since 1/07 5819 total posts
Name:
Liz
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Re: WWYD? Babysitting dilemma for wedding - LONG!
Posted by DreamComeTrue
Posted by Otherme
Or, if you ask him would your FIL pick them up and bring them back to your mom's house, watch them at your mom's house just while you're at the wedding, and then when you guys all get home, he goes back home? That way his contact with your mom is minimal.
Yes, bringing all the extra stuff to FIL's house is going to be a pain, but it could be a bit of an imposition to ask your FIL to watch the kids (after he offered) at someone else's house instead of where he lives. You'd be bringing half that stuff to your parents (diapers, clothing) anyway right?
If FIL is someone you trust to pick them up and watch them, then he should get the option to do it at a place where he is more comfortable.
However, the only reason i'd consider asking him to do it at your mom's house instead is if you think your kids wouldn't sleep at your FIL's house and would cause him problems.
good luck!
The whole reason for this post is bc he doesn't want to watch them at my parents house (and then go home when we are done with wedding). As for bringing half the stuff to my parents, actually no. All that is kept there. We just bring clothes when we go. And we'd be in town and settled for about 5 days prior to wedding. So it would be like packing for a separate trip mid trip. DS sleeps fine wherever. The new baby will be up every few hours likely. It's not about that. It's more like I feel they'd rather us bring a carload of necessities to them rather than them just bringing themselves to the kids. A hotel room is not an option. And limo is taking DH and I back to my parents after wedding. If we want to be with kids we'd have to drive an additional half hour exhausted. I understand them not being comfortable at my parents house but its only for a few hours, my mom won't even be there, it's stability for the kids and all times I've babysat, I went to the kids homes. It just makes more sense. But apparently not....
There are lots of options. You could get a hotel room. You could rent a pnp instead of buying one. You can leave a car at the reception hall early in the day or the day before rather than going home in a limo go straight to fil house. It sounds like your FIL is doing you a favor and instead of being grateful, you are finding lots of reasons not to have him do it. All the times you babysat, I am sure you got paid for it and were doing a JOB. This really isn't a job, its a favor. And I would NOT be babysitting someone's children if I wasn't comfortable staying in their house. And as for stability - it's not like you are in your own home.
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| Posted 7/1/13 6:15 PM |
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Re: WWYD? Babysitting dilemma for wedding - LONG!
Honestly, your making a mountain out of mole hill.
Does traveling suck with little kids in general..yes(I have 3 of my own)! since you already are packing for the trip I would pack a separate bag of everything you would need for them for that night. You shouldn't go into that bag at all. Keep it in the car. The day of, your bag for them is already packed and all you need to do is toss in the pack and play and what ever the baby will sleep in (a stroller that reclines is even fine) and go.
I would also think about keeping some things at your in-laws that way you don't feel like you have to lug stuff around.
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| Posted 7/1/13 6:24 PM |
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Re: WWYD? Babysitting dilemma for wedding - LONG!
This situation stinks. Despite the incredible PIA it is I would go by FIL wishes. I don't blame him honestly. The kids will be fine switching houses if need be, I've done it a dozen or more times with my 2yo. The newborn will probably be awake anyways. The one this most inconveniences is you.
I would just suck it up and leave them with FIL. Keep the peace.
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| Posted 7/1/13 6:45 PM |
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hopingforbaby
We made a wish & you came true
Member since 2/10 2695 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: WWYD? Babysitting dilemma for wedding - LONG!
Posted by Kidsaplenty
Honestly I wouldn't be comfortable watching them in the house of someone I hav no relationship with either, so I don't think your FIL is wrong. I would just suck it up, it's one night and pick them up the following morning.
ITA
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| Posted 7/1/13 7:17 PM |
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missfabulous
#mommyneedswine
Member since 6/09 10031 total posts
Name:
Colleen
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Re: WWYD? Babysitting dilemma for wedding - LONG!
Posted by hopingforbaby
Posted by Kidsaplenty
Honestly I wouldn't be comfortable watching them in the house of someone I hav no relationship with either, so I don't think your FIL is wrong. I would just suck it up, it's one night and pick them up the following morning.
ITA
I also agree with this.
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| Posted 7/1/13 7:26 PM |
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