With all of these 2 under 2 posts - I am so confused

How do you really know you are ready for a second.

DH and I were talking the other night about working - and I said I would go back when Jack is 5 and the second child is 3 - which would mean that I would need to get pregnant something this fall.

I don't know that I am ready to be pregnant again. Jack will only be 15 months or so.

How do you know?
Are you really never ready for a second one - and you should just do it?

We have to kind of start thinking about this because it's not that far off.


ETA: Ideally for me - they wwould be between 2-2 1/2 years apart - which means I have to get a move on - and soon!

Message edited 4/2/2008 5:34:51 PM.

Re: With all of these 2 under 2 posts - I am so confused

I don't think I will ever be ready to be pregnant again but at 38 I really don't have any time to waste!

Re: With all of these 2 under 2 posts - I am so confused

I really didn't. We both discussed our ideal spacing & agreed we wanted them as close together as possible. The year snuck up on us - Joseph was turning 1 the following month.

My roommate called to say she wanted us to be pregnant together. We pulled up our ovulation charts on WebMd & said we would both try next month. It took her a little longer. I was fortunate to get pregnant right away.

I don't think anyone is truly prepared for the first baby. The second one there can have a guilt factor involved because some people think it takes away from Child #1. For me, I never saw it that way. I felt like it enhanced it.

Re: With all of these 2 under 2 posts - I am so confused

Crazy - but I could actually cry thinking about a second baby. It's so scary. To be pregnant again - UGH!

How do you chase after one - with a baby there - I can barely take care of one baby.

A think a second baby will definetly interfere with my LIF time!

Re: With all of these 2 under 2 posts - I am so confused

Posted by Diana1215

Crazy - but I could actually cry thinking about a second baby. It's so scary. To be pregnant again - UGH!

How do you chase after one - with a baby there - I can barely take care of one baby.

A think a second baby will definetly interfere with my LIF time!

Re: With all of these 2 under 2 posts - I am so confused

Diana...I TOTALLY feel you!!! I am getting the pressure from everyone to get preggo again soon and I'm just not ready EVEN THOUGH I want DD to have a sibling close in age. Will I ever feel ready again??

Re: With all of these 2 under 2 posts - I am so confused

I am in the same boat. I am full of excuses.

Re: With all of these 2 under 2 posts - I am so confused

I guess you just know.

We've talked about when we want to have baby #2. We're both on the same page, which is good. We just hope my body is too!

Re: With all of these 2 under 2 posts - I am so confused

Re: With all of these 2 under 2 posts - I am so confused

We were very gun-ho that we were going to TTC September/October - now I'm wavering - I know I want two but we have many days that I say I want to enjoy DD longer and will wait until Spring 09 to start TTC - which would mean DD would either be turning 2 or a little over 2 1/2 if I wait.

We just can't make up our minds. It is a very hard decision.

Re: With all of these 2 under 2 posts - I am so confused

Also - to be completely selfish - I am just now starting to try to get back in shape for summer - and I feel like I am then working out for nothing - if I am just going to get pregnant and have another 10lb baby all over again!

I just mapped out my months - basically - I have to really start trying starting this September -February.

I think that's what I have to do.

Also - the thought of secondary infertility of course scares the heck out of me as well!

Re: With all of these 2 under 2 posts - I am so confused

Im thinking a lot about it lately too....

I prefer to have them 3 yrs apart, all the books I have read say its the perfect age difference, and I feel like I can truly enjoy Noahs early yrs if that happens, BUT I have infertility, It may take me YRS to get PG again and will also cost a whole lot of money.

Getting pregnant for free is likly not an option, so all I think about it, shoudl I ..do I?

Not to mention that My pregnancy was scary ... I had severe hyperemesis, could barely function for a while, needed a whole lot of medication and how can i take care of Noah, and if its any worse, and I have to be hospitilized again, and leave him? I coudl cry thinking about it.

the possible pre term labor.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH
why did I read this post.

Re: With all of these 2 under 2 posts - I am so confused

There are days where I say, I want a sibling for you now. I feel like she needs one, neither DH nor myself were only children.

Other days, I say no way, no how.

So, I think that means I am not ready.

Re: With all of these 2 under 2 posts - I am so confused

I guess I'm in the minority here. Maybe because my PG was so easy. And maybe because DD was a relatively easy baby (well- except for her witching hour and her refusal to sleep through the night). But- I was just "ready" by the time I got AF back at 5 months PP.

Maybe another reason is because my sister and I were only 13 months apart- so I KNOW it can be done (my mom is superwoman to me). Plus, every memory of my childhood is FILLED with my sister. I want that for Madelyn.

Maybe another reason is that at 34, I feel my time is somewhat limited. I would prefer not to have babies in my 40s.

All these reasons helped DH and I make the decision to TTC #2. The idea of 2 under 2 is terrifying, so we just closed our eyes and jumped. Now that it is a reality- we couldn't be more comfortable and thrilled with it.

Re: With all of these 2 under 2 posts - I am so confused

Um, you better let me know so we can coordinate again And the other 2 gals too

You know my feelings-- I would be pregnant already if it was strictly up to me. DH is the pain, wanting to wait (plus, we can't really have another now, with our childcare situation, etc). But I would love another summer baby as DH is a teacher and it was most convenient & helpful to have him home.

We must plan

BTW: I'm terrified of not being able to get pregnant again too

Message edited 4/2/2008 8:03:24 PM.

Re: With all of these 2 under 2 posts - I am so confused

I wanted my kids close in age and we planned on TTC when DS was 2 years old. Plans changed and we got pg when he turned 1. I was sick with Hyperemisis during my 1st pregnancy and got hit with it 5 times worse during this pregnancy. I was hospitalized and then on homecare attached to an IV pole 24-7. Even being violently ill, I managed to still take as much care of DS that I could. I was walking around the house with an IV line in one arm and DS in the other. I had enormous help from my parents, inlaws and of course DH. Dh was incredibly helpful and supportive!!!! After all we went through and seeing what a great team we made, the scary thought of having 2 under 2 was no longer there!

Don't get me wrong, I am sure 2 under 2 is extremely hard...but it must be GREAT also because alot of mothers are part of the club

Re: With all of these 2 under 2 posts - I am so confused

Posted by nbc188

Um, you better let me know so we can coordinate again And the other 2 gals too

You know my feelings-- I would be pregnant already if it was strictly up to me. DH is the pain, wanting to wait (plus, we can't really have another now, with our childcare situation, etc). But I would love another summer baby as DH is a teacher and it was most convenient & helpful to have him home.

We must plan

BTW: I'm terrified of not being able to get pregnant again too

Re: With all of these 2 under 2 posts - I am so confused

I'm scared to go for it. I know DH is, but I am an only child and think there is something nice about having 2 together close in age.

I also worry about getting pg a second time. But I'm just a natural born worrier!

Ideally I would like to have one next spring just before Connor's 2nd bday.

I had always wanted 3, but now 2 might do it for us. We'll see how it goes. Who knows!

Re: With all of these 2 under 2 posts - I am so confused

We wanted them 18-24 months apart and well that changed . I am actually glad that it happend by chance instead of planning it like the first time. I think I wouldn't have been ready ever. Just do it

Re: With all of these 2 under 2 posts - I am so confused

i think I've finally accepted all of the changes in my life that came when we had DS. It took a while. So I'm thinking #2 won't be even remotely close adjustment wise as it was with #1. I'd like them to be 3 years apart. 2 would be nice but we need a bigger house first which probably isn't happening this year.

BTW, my DH is also a teacher so we're def. planning another summer baby. It was so awesome having both of us home for that time!

Re: With all of these 2 under 2 posts - I am so confused

LOL...you never think you are ever ready for any baby.....

I had no choice with #2 OR #3.....

Re: With all of these 2 under 2 posts - I am so confused

This is our dilema.

The original plan was to wait 1 year and do it again. DS would be 14 months by the time we try again. But that was decided BEFORE I was PG, had a c-section, BFing, and a baby who I spend already all my free time with. And I am starting to be able to go back to a lot more clothes pre-pregnancy. So being PG again... hard to think!

Ideally I would wait another year because I just don't know how I really feel about beign PG again this year. It went by fast. BUT I do have the age issue. I will be turning 39 this year and I just don't know if I don't get PG this year, I will be able to wait another year which will make me 40 and honestly, I am not sure I will have the physical energy to do so.

My job is also a problem. I just cannot massage people while PG.

So much to think about. Yet, not many options really.

Re: With all of these 2 under 2 posts - I am so confused

Diana to be very honest I think after #1 you will never be "ready" for #2 or #3

I want to be 100lbs and ripped in shape like I was when I got PG with Sofia...

this way whatever my body does it is prepared..

I figure by Aug I wil be back to how I want to look and feel.. and be ready to make #2..

I will also be 31 and I don't want to wait...

I want 3 under 3

Re: With all of these 2 under 2 posts - I am so confused

Posted by Diana1215

Posted by nbc188

Um, you better let me know so we can coordinate again And the other 2 gals too

You know my feelings-- I would be pregnant already if it was strictly up to me. DH is the pain, wanting to wait (plus, we can't really have another now, with our childcare situation, etc). But I would love another summer baby as DH is a teacher and it was most convenient & helpful to have him home.

We must plan

BTW: I'm terrified of not being able to get pregnant again too

OK - how did I not know that your DH was a teacher too! So is mine! ***?

Re: With all of these 2 under 2 posts - I am so confused

We just decided last night to officially start trying again.

Knowing how long it took last time we figure we will try "the old fashioned" way until the summer and move on to FET in June if we aren't pregnant yet.

We were going to wait until August, but my sister just got engaged and is planning her wedding next June, so we need to either start earlier or way later.


Many of you know that DH and I were struggling and were even considering separating.

In the last month we came a LONG way and are stronger than before in most respects.

We had to talk long and hard about what another child would do to our relationship and we both agreed that we feel ready and we will take serious steps to make sure things don't get waylayed again.